Archive for ariok

Keep your friends close

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 22, 2015 by Garrosh Hellscream

orgrimmar21

So I guess Spazzle already filled you guys in on the Gurtash thing.  No new developments on that front so far.  The healers say that the kid’s either going to come around on his own, or not come around at all, which personally I think is a big huge CYA measure on their part, but they’re the healers and I’m not so I guess I might as well give it a few more days before I start smacking people around.

In other news, I’m making some changes to Shayari’s mage training plan.  She’s still going to be studying with Faranell over in the Undercity, but I decided that there wasn’t much need for her to LIVE over there permanently.  For one, she IS a mage, so she can just teleport over where when she has lessons, and besides, based on recent experience…I mean…good fucking luck getting her to STAY there if she’s gotten it into her head that she doesn’t want to.  It’s just easier this way.

So in related news, when I got in touch with Faranell about the revised plan for Shay, he decided it was a good time to hit me up with the estimate for whatever the hell he needs to have done to his jaw after Shay clocked him, or whatever the fuck happened.  Then, as if all of this hadn’t put me in a great enough mood already, it just so happened that THAT’s the moment when the bill for that shopping trip Liadrin took Shay on came in, and HOLY FUCKING SHIT ARE YOU KIDDING ME.  That hyacinth macaw of hers better fucking well shit GOLD, is all I’m saying.  Are kids ALWAYS this expensive?!  Fucking hell, this is going to clear out the bank in no time flat at this rate.  Nice job, doeling.  Yeesh.

Anyhow.  In OTHER other news, now that Mokvar’s mostly accounted for himself, it’s time he got back on the job and made himself useful.  Which as you can imagine made everyone in the war room pleased as punch.  And by “punch” I mean “panda punching Varian in the fucking face”…

fyv

Because some shit just never gets old.  Heh.  Hehehehe…

Anyway.  Yeah.  Smiles all around for Mokvar’s return to Grommash Hold.

 

MALKOROK:  Sir!  With all due respect, you can’t be serious!

EITRIGG:  You’re lifting the banishment?!

MALKOROK:  You can’t possibly intend to allow this…this treasonous dog back into your council chamber!

MOKVAR:  Uh, yeah, nice to see you guys, too.

EITRIGG:  Garrosh, I don’t understand.  After everything that happened with Mokvar, after his conspiring with Magatha, for spirits’ sake—

GARROSH:  Look, I understand why you banished him while I was away, Eitrigg.  I’m not lifting it now because it was the wrong call at the time.  If I’d been here, I probably would have done the same thing myself.

EITRIGG:  Then why, Garrosh?

MALKOROK:  I’m not usually inclined to agree with the old man, Warchief, but once he’s right.  Why would you restore this—

GARROSH:  BECAUSE, you two, Mokvar’s managed to account for himself to my satisfaction, and—

MALKOROK:  Sir, whatever lies this traitor has told you—

GARROSH:  Are MINE to judge, Malkorok, not yours.  I believe he’s telling me the truth.

Garrosh looks over at Mokvar, then back to Malkorok.

Enough of it, at least.  Besides…I have good reason to believe that Mokvar has access to…certain resources that could be of great tactical benefit to us.

EITRIGG:  Warchief…?

MALKOROK:  I find it hard to believe he possesses anything that our forces—

GARROSH:  You remember the Divine Bell, Malk?  What a smashing success that whole grand finale was?  Suffice to say, during his reintroduction to the warlock world, Mokvar found something that could have swung that whole fiasco in our favor.

Eitrigg slumps back in his chair uncomfortably.  While Malkorok and Garrosh continue, Taktani bounces into the room, with Shayari following behind.

MALKOROK:  Assuming he’s not making up the entire st—

GARROSH:  <pointing back at his throne>  DO YOU WANT TO SIT IN THIS CHAIR?

TAKTANI:  <hopping onto the throne happily>  Oooh, I do, Mr. Warchief!  Yay!  It looks comfy!

Garrosh looks back at Taktani, rubs his forehead, then turns back to Malkorok (who suddenly looks much more exhausted than he did just a moment ago).

GARROSH:  Look, Malk.  I’ve made my decision.  And if you don’t think it’s the right one, then guess what?  I’ve still made my decision, and I don’t want to hear any more about it.  Mokvar’s banishment is lifted, and I’m reinstating him to scribe duties.

TAKTANI:  <sprawling back on the throne and waving one paw around>  I’m the Warchief-chief!  Yay!  Lemon squares or death!  Hee hee!

GARROSH:  Besides, would you really rather have HER staying on indefinitely?

MALKOROK:  You…may have a point, sir.

TAKTANI:  Aww don’t be grumpy, Mr. Malky!  No grumpies allowed!  <waving her paw around more>  Off with his head!  Tee hee!

GARROSH:  TAK.

TAKTANI:  Ooh!  Okay!  Right, Mr. Warchief, sir!

Taktani hops off the throne and bounces over to the council table.

GARROSH:  Mokvar, this is Taktani.  She’s been filling in for you while you’ve been away.  Well, splitting time with… Uh, anyway, she’s been filling in as a scribe.

TAKTANI:  <bouncing up onto the council table and leaning in close to Mokvar>  Hiiiiii Mr. Mokvar!  It’s nice to meet you!

GARROSH:  She used to write in to the blog before you went AWOL, remember?

TAKTANI:  I’ve heard so much about you, Mr. Mok-Mok!  I’m sure the nice things are true!

MOKVAR:  I— wait, you mean she’s real?

MALKOROK:  Unfortunately.

TAKTANI:  You’re so grumpy, Mr. Malky!  I bet you just need a big hug!

MALKOROK:  Don’t you dare even think of—

TAKTANI:  Again!

MALKOROK:  Warchief!

GARROSH:  Rein it in, Tak.

MOKVAR:  Okay, you know, she’s a little hyper for my tastes, but I think she’s starting to grow on me all the same.

SHAYARI:  Chuckles really does bring out the best in people, doesn’t he?

GARROSH:  Huh— oh, hey, Shay.

SHAYARI:  Hey.  <scanning the table>  Hey, Beardy.  Chuckles.  Other Old Guy I Don’t Know.

GARROSH:  Oh, yeah, you never met Eitrigg, did you?

SHAYARI:  I think you mentioned him to me. But yeah.

GARROSH:  He’s Ariok’s old man, if that helps any.

SHAYARI:  Ohh, okay.  So you’re kind of Grayscale Senior.  I guess that makes you…what, sepia, sort of?

EITRIGG:  …Warchief?

GARROSH:  <sighs>  Yeah, okay.  So.  Eitrigg, this is Shayari.  She’s…my daughter.

Eitrigg stares blankly for a full minute.

TAKTANI:  Mr. Warchief?  Is Mr. Eatery okay?

GARROSH:  Eitrigg?

EITRIGG:  <blinks>  I… I’m sorry, Garrosh.  I think my brain might have just stroked off there for a moment.  Did you just say…?

GARROSH:  She’s my daughter.  Yeah.

MALKOROK:  Supposedly.

SHAYARI:  I know, Chuckles, I’m too good for a lot of people to believe.

EITRIGG:  <gesturing bewilderedly toward Shayari>  But… but Warchief… how…?

GARROSH:  Dude, do I really have to work it out for you?

SHAYARI:  #TheLadiesLoveGarrosh, am I right?

EITRIGG:  I…oh…well…  <gathers himself, turns to Shayari>  It’s a pleasure, Miss Shayari.

SHAYARI:  Thanks, Grampa Sepia.  Oh, and if your boy mentions anything about livestock, I don’t know anything about it.

MALKOROK:  Warchief, is there a reason why your…offspring is barging in on our meeting?

TAKTANI:  Aw, Mr. Malky, why can’t you be friendly?  You should smile more!

MALKOROK:  That’s enough from you, druid!

MOKVAR:  Yeah.  I definitely think I’m starting to like her.

SHAYARI:  Oh, don’t sweat it, Tak.  Guy Smiley here’s just pissy ’cause I’m a walking, talking reminder that Pops has gotten laid more recently than him.

TAKTANI:  Huh?

MALKOROK:  Draenei, I—

GARROSH:  Malk, zip it.

MOKVAR:  And I know I’m starting to like her.

GARROSH:  Come to think of it, though, what ARE you doing here, Shay?

SHAYARI:  I’m just checking to see how long Tak’s going to be busy with the meeting.

GARROSH:  Uh, not long.  It’s going to be a pretty short one today.  Why?

SHAYARI:  Nothing huge.  When she’s done, I was going to port us up to Silvermoon to do some shopping.  I can kill a little time, though.  I’ll just be over at Kodohide’s, ’kay, Tak?  I can check out the leather jackets while you do your thing.

TAKTANI:  Okay!  I’ll come find you!

GARROSH:  Hang on – SHOPPING?  We just moved like five huge cases of yours back from the Undercity.  Don’t you have ENOUGH stuff?

SHAYARI:  <walking toward the door>  That’s cute, pops.  “Enough stuff.”  You’re adorable.  Later, Tak!  Oh, and Chuckles?

Malkorok looks up.

Don’t forget: being a walking bag of hyena urine is something most people couldn’t carry off, but you, sir…are no exception.  Toodles!

Shayari exits.

GARROSH:  <rubbing his forehead>  I can already tell I’m going to have to start making withdrawals from the bank, aren’t I…

MOKVAR:  You know what?  I’m going to skip right past “like” and say I’m starting to love her.

EITRIGG:  She does have a certain infectious charm.

GARROSH:  Okay, so…

TAKTANI:  Should I start scribing now, Mr. Warchief?

GARROSH:  Ah.  Well, no, Tak.  See, you were filling in for Mokvar, and he’s back now, so he’s going to be taking over again.

TAKTANI:  Oh…

Taktani looks back and forth between Garrosh and Mokvar.

You don’t want me to be your scribe anymore?

Taktani makes big, sad kitty eyes.

Did I do bad?

GARROSH:  Oh geez.

MALKOROK:  <rubbing his forehead>  Merciful spirits….

GARROSH:  Ugh… Look, Tak, you—

MOKVAR:  Garrosh?

GARROSH:  Hmm?

MOKVAR:  You know, while I get reacclimated, it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to let her stay on for a little while, just to make sure I don’t miss anything in my notes.

Taktani’s face lights up, and she turns to Garrosh hopefully.

GARROSH:  Oh for… Yeah.  Fine.  Whatever.  You’re already here, so you might as well stick around for today anyway.

TAKTANI:  YAY!!

MALKOROK:  <glaring at Mokvar>  Scribe, what in hellfire are you doing?

Taktani hops gleefully into a chair next to Malkorok.  Mokvar tilts his head to one side, watching her, then smirks at Malkorok.

GARROSH:  Okay…so, getting down to actual business, finally.

TAKTANI:  Yay!

GARROSH:  TAK.

TAKTANI:  Oops!  Sorry, Mr. Warchief sir!

Taktani makes an exaggerated zipping movement in front of her mouth, then stifles a giggle.

GARROSH:  So.  Moving on.

MALKOROK:  Warchief, with your approval, I’d like to add a few additional patrols around the read gate.

GARROSH:  Is there a problem?

MALKOROK:  Just a precaution.  I’ve gotten reports of some minor oddities around the Valley of Honor.  I’d just like to make sure there isn’t anything to be concerned about.

GARROSH:  Fine.  Do what you need to do.

MALKOROK:  Yes, sir.

GARROSH:  Now for more important business.  Mokvar, what’s our next step on your sha project?

EITRIGG:  Garrosh…

MOKVAR:  I’ll need to see some of these sha in person.  This isn’t going to be exactly the same as dominating demons, so I’ll need to start small and work out the bugs.

GARROSH:  Fine.  I’ll be heading back to Pandaria in a couple weeks.  You’ll come with me, and we’ll take it from there.

EITRIGG:  Garrosh, I don’t like the sound of dabbling further with these sha—

GARROSH:  Your objections are noted and inconsequential.

MOKVAR:  That should work out.  I have a few things I wanted to check on in Pandaria anyway.

GARROSH:  In the meantime, I want you to check in with a few people as well, on a couple different fronts.

MOKVAR:  What’s that?

GARROSH:  For one, I want you to go see Overseer Elaglo.  He and Xorenth are working on a few things down in Ragefire Chasm that I think you might be able to help with.

MOKVAR:  Okay.  What are they working on?

GARROSH:  They’ll fill you in when you get down there.  And while you’re down that way, I want you to touch base with Neeru Fireblade in the Cleft of Shadow.

MOKVAR:  Uh… you want me to… why?

GARROSH:  Because given what went down with him before you starting going all off-hinge, I think he’d be pretty damn interested in the fact that you’ve got yourself a new toy.

MOKVAR:  Well, yeah, I’m sure he would, but I was figuring I’d probably be better off keeping CLEAR of him about that.  Why even let him know I have the—

GARROSH:  Because knowing will get his curiosity up.  And you know what curiosity did to the cat.

Garrosh looks to a suddenly nervous-looking Taktani.

Not you, Tak.

Taktani lets out a relieved sigh while Garrosh turns back to Mokvar.

I doubt that he’s going to want to trust you, considering everything that’s gone on.  But I’m betting curiosity about what you’ve been up to, and your shiny new do-dad in particular, is going to be too much for him to resist.  So I want you to dangle it in front of him, and see if you can get in good with him.

MOKVAR:  <nodding slowly>  And then I report back to you.

GARROSH:  And then you report back to me.  We know Neeru’s up to something, but so far he’s been careful.  But YOU…well, what you bring to the table might mean just enough for his demonic interests to bring him out.  I know we can’t trust him, so I want someone keeping him close.

MOKVAR:  Got it.  I’ll do what I can.  When should I head over?

GARROSH:  No time like the present.  You might as well head over.  I already told Elaglo and Xorenth you’d be by sometime today.

MOKVAR:  Okay, chief.  I’ll get the records written up and posted for you later today.

GARROSH:  Yeah, that’s fine.

Mokvar gathers up his documents and walks toward the door.

<talking over one shoulder without turning around>  And Mokvar.

Mokvar stops in the doorway and looks back.

It’s good to have you back.

 

Mokvar hasn’t gotten back from the Cleft of Shadow yet, but when he does, hopefully there’ll be some good news.  In the meantime, I’m going to talk to Spazzle about putting some filters on the blog.  Some posts, at least.  It’s good having these records here, but we’re going to want to start limiting who can see certain information.  You guys are all cool, don’t worry.  But some of this stuff…yeah, we’re going to need to be a little more careful.  Especially if things start lining up like I think.

More soon.

 

ADDENDUM FROM TAKTANI’S NOTES:

(Mr. Mokvar left.)

MALKOROK – Warchief, I still object to you trusting that scribe after his treasonous conduct.  Especially with these kinds of sensitive matters.

GARROSH – Malk, do you not listen to any fucking thing that I say?

MALKOROK – Warchief?

GARROSH – Did you miss what I told him about keeping someone who can’t be trusted close, so we can keep an eye on him?

MALKOROK – No, sir, I heard you, but—

GARROSH – Did you think I was only talking about Fireblade?

(Malkorok became still a moment, thinking, then gave a slow nod.)

MALKOROK – Yes, sir.  I think I understand.  I…wouldn’t have thought of that, sir.

GARROSH(nodding back)  That’s why I’m in charge.

A long time coming

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on May 17, 2015 by Garrosh Hellscream

blackrock10

Someday, I have to ask the Noz what the deal is with time.  How it seems to go faster and slower, and rush right past the good moments, and practically freeze solid in the middle of the worst ones.  Like it’s going out of its way to screw us over and force us to spend most of our lives trapped in the middle of the worst parts of them.  Fuck time.

Time was dripping along extra slow while Gurtash was dropping to the ground.  Slowly enough for the not-so-little drops of blood to hang in the air just waiting for me to notice them.  Slow enough for me to be on top of that spectral motherfucker tearing into it before Gurtash had even landed.  I’m pretty sure the spook hit the ground first.  Rage is the ultimate haste buff.

There was blood on the floor all around him.  I don’t know the first thing about healing, but I’ve been on enough battlefields to know not-good a mile off.  Ji and Shay were already gathered over Gurtash by the time I was pulling Gorehowl out of Mr. Wraith With the Worst Judgment Ever.  Spazzle wasn’t far behind, while Ariok and Mokvar and his pet and his imp made short work of cleaning up the spooks that were left.  We all have our jobs to do.  Speaking of which:

[Okay, it’s been a little while.  Hopefully my hand doesn’t start cramping up. –Mkvr., ed.]

JI:  That’s it, keep the pressure there to slow the bleeding…

SPAZZLE:    Oh man, I knew I should’ve put some points in Resto…

MOKVAR:  It doesn’t work that way anymore.

SPAZZLE:  You see how out of touch I am about this stuff?

JI:  I think we can stabilize him, but he’s going to need a lot more than any of us can do here.

GARROSH:  Shay, get a portal open to Orgrimmar!

SHAYARI:  But I’m trying to hold—

GARROSH:  Portal.  NOW!

SPAZZLE:  It’s okay.  I’ve got it…

Spazzle rips off part of his sleeve and presses on Gurtash’s chest.  Shayari gets up, channels a spell for a moment, then opens a portal.

GARROSH:  Is he good to move?

JI:  Not really.  But moving him probably won’t make him much worse than sitting here waiting to bleed out.

GARROSH:  Take him through.  You and green stuff go and throw as many heals on him as you can on the way to the for-real for-real healers.

JI:    Yes, sir.

Ji carries Gurtash to the portal and vanishes.  As Spazzle moves to follow, Garrosh grabs his arm and turns him back.

GARROSH:  When you get to the healers, you make sure they understand this comes straight from me: if the kid dies, SO DO THEY.

SPAZZLE:  Loud threats of imminent demise.  Got it, chief…

Spazzle disappears through the portal.

MOKVAR:  Well, if that doesn’t motivate them, nothing—

GARROSH:  Dude, what makes YOU think you get off so easy?  If the kid doesn’t make it, YOUR head’s on the chopping block as much as anyone’s.

MOKVAR:  Um…

GARROSH:  You’re the whole fucking reason we’re even HERE.  Don’t think for a second I’m going to forget that.

MOKVAR:  Um…

DELIANA:  You already said that.

MOKVAR:  It still applies.

DELIANA:  You know, you maybe should have put a soulstone on the little guy…

MOKVAR:  Uh, could you not point that out in front of—

DELIANA:  Just saying, the life you save could be your own.

MOKVAR:  And besides, you know perfectly well I need—

SHAYARI:  Maybe you guys could save this for the divorce hearing?

DELIANA:  We’re not married!

SHAYARI:  Okay, if you say so.

DELIANA:  We’re not—    Why does everybody keep saying this?

MOKVAR:  You’re asking me?

GARROSH:  Dude, do you even notice how you two act?

MOKVAR:  Don’t you start, too!

GARROSH:  Hey, listen, I’d LIKE to believe you wouldn’t go slumming with pink girl here….

DELIANA:  What the hell does that mean?

MOKVAR:  Really, don’t even try to get into it with him.

GARROSH:  At least it’d mean you have more sense than Thrall did back in the day.  Not that that’s saying much.

ARIOK:  You’re the last one to be criticizing Thrall…

SHAYARI:  Not for anything, Lamb Chop, as much as Beardy here’s no prize—

MOKVAR:  And thank you for that

SHAYARI:  —you still probably would have been better off locking him up while you had the chance.  You know, tick tock.

GARROSH:  I think I’ve already established my SHUT THE FUCK UP stance with YOU, Ariok…

DELIANA:  What the— I only just turned twenty-nine!

SHAYARI:  For, what, the fifteenth year in a row?

ARIOK:  As far as I can tell, Thrall only ever had one lapse in judgment, and that was—

GARROSH:  Motherfucker, go on ahead and finish that sentence if you want to see how far I can toss your ass when I really mean business!

DELIANA:  Listen, fancy-hooves—

A low, rumbling laugh interrupts the overlapping exchanges.  Everyone looks over to see that the spectral form of Valthalak, while still partially transparent, has grown much more solid.

VALTHALAK:    I never forget a face…and you two…    Oh, I remember you two.  I can’t say I ever expected you to have the courage to show your faces here again… I see your choice of companions hasn’t improved over the years, though – still bickering, still fighting amongst yourselves… I remember that as well…

DELIANA:  Do you remember the part where you ended up dead, too?

VALTHALAK:    Yes, and look how much that’s gained you.  Or have you come all this way to show me how much my agents haven’t tasked you?

GARROSH:  Oh geez, he’s really gonna keep talking, isn’t he?

VALTHALAK:  You know, I think your choice of friends may even have gotten worse since before.  As you say, at least they were strong enough to defeat me… but these new ones… well, if the ease with which the little one fell is any indication…

GARROSH:  Oh, now I KNOW you should’ve shut up sooner!

Garrosh leaps at Valthalak, only to have Gorehowl swing right through the spirit.

VALTHALAK:  I see this is a bright one.  I’m a ghost, you fool.

GARROSH:  Yeah, well so were your spectral who’s-his-fucks!  How do I know which of these assholes I can hit or not?!

SHAYARI:  Pops, could I suggest not trying to argue with the evil noncorporeal dragon?

DELIANA:  The spectral assassins have to manifest physically – if they don’t become solid enough for us to kill, they can’t kill us.

MOKVAR:  Which also means we have a handy catch on our hands…

Mokvar reaches into a pocket and pulls out the Nether Prism.

While you’re recognizing faces, your lordship… remember this?

Valthalak glares at Mokvar.

It made a neat little prize some years back…

VALTHALAK:  Foolish mortal…

SHAYARI:  Did the dead guy just call Beardy “mortal”?

VALTHALAK:  …you don’t even understand what you hold in your hands – what’s at stake in your arrogant trifling with matters that are beyond you…

MOKVAR:  I take that to mean you want this back, then.  Well… come and get it.

The only way Valthalak was going to be able to take back his doohicky from Mokvar was to manifest fully, and once he did…well, game on.  He threw us off at first – the second he shifted fully into physical form, he hit us all with a shadow volley that knocked us back, and he managed to summon up and handful more of those spectral motherfuckers.  Still, Shay and Ariok and Mokvar and what’s-her-face managed to burn them down fast enough.  Me, I was more interested in giving big boss dragon dude a proper welcome back to the land of the living, and make it a nice, short stay.  By the time everyone else finished off the assassins, I was well on my way to wearing the big guy down.  Still, he was no pushover, I’ll give him that much.  He could take a beating, especially for someone who was, you know, dead just a few minutes before.  It was a long, drawn-out fight, broken up by a whole bunch of those damn shadow volleys of his, but eventually, little by little, we were able to whittle him down, until his movements started taking on that little shaky hitch that only happens when you’re just hanging on.

GARROSH:  I’m going to enjoy watching you drop, Valthy!

MOKVAR:  No, hold back – don’t kill him!

SHAYARI:  Huh?

GARROSH:  The fuck— dude, that’s the WHOLE REASON we—

MOKVAR:  We can’t kill him!

Mokvar pulls a glowing purple orb from his cloak and starts channeling a spell.  A twisting ribbon of glowing purple energy starts to flow from Valthalak to the orb.

VALTHALAK:  What!  No!  You haven’t the power to—

MOKVAR:  Ordinarily you’d be right, your lordship, but luckily I came with an upgrade…

Mokvar holds the Nether Prism in his other hand and holds it and the orb close together.  The glow from the Prism swells around both itself and the orb, and Valthalak convulses as the flow of energy from him increases.

VALTHALAK:  You fool!  You don’t know what you— they’re coming, stupid orc, they… AAAARRRRGGGHHH!

The ribbon of energy between Valthalak and Mokvar’s orb breaks, and Valthalak collapses to the ground, motionless.  Mokvar stands over him, holding the orb in one hand, the Nether Prism in the other, both still glowing.

SHAYARI:  So… did we not stop fast enough?

GARROSH:  Looks dead enough to me.

MOKVAR:  He’s not dead.  Not exactly.

GARROSH:  Oh, so you mean he’s approximately dead.

MOKVAR:  That’s not a terrible way of saying it, actually.

DELIANA:  Valthalak can’t be killed.  Not entirely.  We thought we killed him once before.  Then we had others try again years later.  He keeps coming back.

GARROSH:  See?  SEE?  I keep SAYING nobody stays fucking DEAD anymore.

DELIANA:  If we’d killed him, he just would have lain dormant for a while, then come back all over again.

MOKVAR:  And I’d rather not have to keep going through this for the rest of my life.

SHAYARI:  What did you do, then?

Mokvar holds up the shimmering orb.

MOKVAR:  Soulstone.

ARIOK:  Spirits…

MOKVAR:  Technically, Valthalak’s body is dead.  But this time, so long as his spirit is contained in here, he can’t manifest again.

SHAYARI:  So…what now?  Do you…I don’t know, do you destroy the stone?

MOKVAR:    Can’t.  If I break the soulstone, it’ll just release his spirit.  The only way this isn’t just a temporary fix is if I keep him sealed up in here, permanently.    So… well… I’m sure there’s somewhere at home I can stash it.    Assuming I’ve still got a place to go back to?

GARROSH:  Your house is still there.  No guarantees that Malkorok didn’t turn it upside down looking for clues when you first disappeared.  But yeah, you get to come back, so long as you hold up your end of the deal with your new toy there.

ARIOK:  Garrosh, I’ll tell you again, you mustn’t do this – even if you were still considering this insane plan about the sha, surely even you can see the enormity of what this warlock is doing to—

GARROSH:  Dude, I am SERIOUSLY getting sick of listening to you bitch.

ARIOK:  He’s imprisoning a still-living soul, Garrosh, and—

DELIANA:  It’s the only way to stop the monster who’s been trying to kill us for over a decade now!

MOKVAR:  Look, Ariok, I can see why it might not sit so well with you, but you’re coming in late on this.  You don’t know

ARIOK:  Don’t know what happens when we start to treat lives and souls and honor as options to be dispensed with when convenient?  I’m starting to think I’m the only one here who does!  I came here because that Pandaren claimed his friend was in dire need, but if I’d even suspected that he was setting out to allow the likes of this to—

In a flash of light and puff of smoke, Ariok turns into a sheep.

SHAYARI:  Okay, that takes care of that.  Is it just me, or does he, like, really seem like somebody who’d be a downer at parties?

GARROSH:  Heh.  So okay, while you’ve got the hocus-pocus queued up, let’s get another portal to home going.

SHAYARI:    Coming up!

MOKVAR:  Once we all get back to Orgrimmar—

GARROSH:  Yeah, not so fast with the “all” – I’m giving YOU the clear for now, Mokvar, but as for your little human friend here…

Garrosh looks over to find Deliana is gone.

MOKVAR:    Rogue.

GARROSH:  Great.

Shayari finishes opening a portal to Orgrimmar.  She, Garrosh, and Mokvar start to move toward it; just in front of the portal, Mokvar looks back at Ariok-the-sheep.

MOKVAR:  So…we’re just leaving him there?

SHAYARI:  The polymorph will wear off by itself in a few minutes.

MOKVAR:  Okay… What if something jumps him first, though?  I mean, the place still isn’t completely empty…

SHAYARI:    Then it sucks to be him.

GARROSH:  Eggs and omelets.

Garrosh and Shayari turn back toward the portal.

MOKVAR:  Huh… she really is your daughter, isn’t she?

Just arriving back in Orgrimmar now.  Finally.  Heading over to see what the word is on Gurtash.  More soon.

Wake-up call

Posted in Comics, General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 15, 2015 by Garrosh Hellscream

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Now that we were done with, you know, our year’s worth of delays, we finally headed deeper into the Spire and made our way toward the room that used to be that Valthalak dude’s lair.  Or study.  Or…office.  Whatever the hell you call it when you’re some kind of weird-ass draconic summoner what’s supposed to be dead only not exactly because what the fuck.  Good thing Mokvar still remembered the lay of the land in there — I would have ended up wandering around in circles if it’d been up to me.  Still, I have to say, Blackrock Spire IS a pretty impressive place, as far as fortresses go.  Kind of a shame it’s been sitting here mostly unused ever since the Blackrock clan cleared out.  Well, other than ghostly dragon dudes or whatever.

We ran into a few more of those reanimated dragonkin on our way, but we made pretty short work of them.  Still not sure what’s up with these dragon guys lurking around.  I figure it’s got something to do with Valthalak being up and sort of kicking again, but fuck if Mokvar was any help piecing that together.  He was pretty evasive, and it’s not like it would be news if somebody around here knew more than they were letting on, and fuck, Mokvar’s pretty much the grand poobah of that club at this point.

Valthalak’s room was just creepy dark, and it was in this echo-y part of the Spire where you could swear there was somebody — or a bunch of somebodies — talking just out of range for you to make out clearly.  Still, Mokvar seemed like he was no stranger to the place, even after however many years.  Once we were all in position, it was time to catch ol’ Mr. Part-Time Dead Drakonid’s attention.  Mokvar summoned up an imp, which apparently really liked running its mouth, mostly about what a tool it thought Mokvar was, and yeah, Mokvar, doesn’t it suck when you get stuck with ungrateful insubordinate minions?  Karma, dude, karma.

Anyway, though, the imp shut up right quick once Mokvar whipped out that Nether Prism doohickey and started channeling…um… I don’t know, he started doing some warlock stuff with it.  Fuck if I know.  It looked kind of purple, if that helps at all.  Point is, firing up his warlock hocus pocus seemed to do the trick, because within a minute or so, in the middle of the room, who should start to appear in shimmery, mostly-transparent form but the dragon troublemaker himself, Valthalak.  And of course, before he could even bother getting past his whole noncorporeal thing, he had to go into this whole greeting for us, Mokvar especially.  You know, the usual spiel you get from bad guys when you crash their pad, where they pretend to be happy to see you and go on about unexpected guests and pleasant surprises and act like they’re all polite and shit except they have a TONE.  I don’t know what it is with these guys.  They all do this shit.  There must be a manual or something.

Point is, though, before Valthalak was solid enough for us to do much about him directly, he started summoning up these wraith guys.  Like, lots of them.  So now I was finally getting to meet the famous spectral assassins that caused so much trouble for Mokvar and apparently made him go all batshit and stuff.  More importantly, though, now I was finally getting to stop standing around and listening to people yap yap yap and get back to something more in line with my area of expertise.

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I can kind of see how a bunch of these assassins would have been trouble for Mokvar solo, but with the whole crowd of us there, they weren’t nearly so much of a problem.  At least not individually.  Only trouble was that there were so damn many of them, just fading in out of the darkness in bunches, and it didn’t look like they were slowing down.  We kept hacking them down, though, whittling the numbers down little by little.

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The Horde is family (part 3)

Posted in Comics with tags , , , , , , , on May 5, 2015 by Garrosh Hellscream

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Picking up where we left off last time

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* Ariok started asking Spazzle about his father, Eitrigg (who’s been more and more on the outs with Garrosh lately, such as here), before Mokvar turned up and…you know…started telling his life story.C40_Page_10

* After Ji took off in search for Mokvar against Garrosh’s objections, Spazzle had this conversation with Vol’jin here.

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The Horde is family (part 2)

Posted in Comics with tags , , , , , , on April 27, 2015 by Garrosh Hellscream

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[Part 3 coming later this week…]

The Horde is family (part 1)

Posted in Comics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on March 30, 2015 by Garrosh Hellscream

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* Mokvar learned of Theldren’s unhelpful warning when Deliana appeared in Orgrimmar, as he related here.

** Mokvar and Garrosh — along with Liadrin, Utvoch, and (a version of) Faranell — were trapped in an alternate timeline during the Timequake storyline.  While there, they learned of Neeru Fireblade’s scheming in Orgrimmar (as seen here, and discussed by Neeru himself here).  Spazzle, for his part, is clearly as tired of hearing about it as are many readers.

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* As Mokvar recently related here, he went to see Neeru before disappearing from Orgrimmar.

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* Shayari was starting to examine this peculiarity of the altar just before Mokvar make his dramatic return here.

** Mokvar offered to help Garrosh control the sha here, which was a good mood on Mokvar’s part insofar as it likely averted an acute case of being brutally murdered.

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* For anyone who doesn’t remember, Ariok’s father is Eitrigg, who has much more dove-like tendencies than Garrosh.  Granted, there are likely serial killers with more dove-like tendencies than Garrosh, but still.

Scribin’ ain’t easy

Posted in Comics with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2015 by Garrosh Hellscream

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* For anyone not in the know, Mokvar was long responsible for recording Garrosh’s transcripts, but in his absence, Gurtash took over scribe duty in comic form.  With both of them present here in Blackrock Spire, Mokvar and Gurtash turned to a time-honored method for settling dibs.

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* When Shayari first came to Orgrimmar and met Garrosh, Gurtash’s artwork was…less than steadfast in its commitment to verisimilitude.