If you’re reading this you probably already know who I am, and if you don’t it’s probably just a matter of time before YOU ARE CRUSHED BENEATH MY HEEL.
Okay, let me back up a little, I think this might be getting away from me a little already. Crap this is going to be hard. So here goes.
My name is Garrosh Hellscream, and if you don’t know who that is you’ve probably been living under a rock or something, and you should probably go back there, or maybe I can just put you under one after I crush your fucking skull with a boulder with my bare hands, because I can do that, you know, pick a boulder right the fuck on up and slam it down and…okay, fuck, there I go again. Dammit I wish this stupid thing had a way to erase this shit after I say it.
So, getting back on topic. I am Garrosh, son of Grom, mighty and awesome Warchief of the Horde! Recognize, bitches! And stop bothering me with all the fucking paperwork. I mean seriously, Thrall did NOT warn me there would be so many forms to fill out. Back in Nagrand I didn’t even know what “triplicate” was, and now…ugh. Anyway, I was talking to Eitrigg during a GLORIOUS AND HONORABLE afternoon of armament requisition forms (Really, I’m the fucking Warchief, don’t I have underlings or something who can handle this shit?), and he suggested that I might find it helpful to start a blog to work out my ideas and vent my frustrations. He said that writing out your thoughts can help with stress and anger management, and I get the stress part, but come on, is he really suggesting I have anger issues, because if he is I swear on the spirits if he wasn’t all buddy-buddy with Thrall I would positively fucking heroic throw him clear across the Southfury, and…okay, never mind, he’s probably going to see this. Shit. Somebody really has to invent a way to erase things like that.
Okay, so I suppose I should thank Eitrigg for the idea for this blog, even though it’s probably a stupid idea and I’ll get sick of it in a few days, but whatever. I should also thank Spazzle Fizzletrinket for helping me set up all the stupid confusing technical bloggy stuff that doesn’t make any sense to me because I was too busy going out into the wilderness and killing things like an orc to waste my time learning dorky gadgety stuff at the Garadar School for Pansies. I also want to thank him for getting his twitchy green ass back to the goblin slums where he belongs after he was finished and not hanging around bothering me. Yeah, yeah, I know, time is money, give it a rest, you’re not getting a tip.
By the way, in case anyone got confused there, the Garadar School for Pansies isn’t a real place, and it wouldn’t be a real place because there aren’t any pansies in Garadar, okay, because that’s where real orcs live. Do you get that or do I have to come hurt you or something? Dammit people are stupid.
Anyway…we’ll see how this blog thing goes. I’ll probably write something else later. Maybe after jazzercise.
FOR THE HORDE!