Raid night

So, everything that’s been going on has kept me fairly busy, but still, what with Gurtash still being a big question mark and there not being a whole lot I can do about it, what little down time I have has still been giving me a little too much time to think. So I figure this is a good time for me to get back online to distract myself for a little while…

You have logged on.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] ok now get the pizza guy

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh dammit i blew a cooldown by mistake

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Welcome back, Warchief.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its ok steve itll be back up before we’re at the boss

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] okay, all set

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Thanks

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] gil

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yes, perhaps just soon enough before the boss for him to blow it again.

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] did relogging fix it?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Looks like it

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] gil!

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] which, surely, he would never do.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Get me back in group before I turn it on?

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] incoming

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wtf why am i still losing health

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you have food poisoning

[MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] has invited you to a raid group.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] from one of the taco guy mobs

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh

[Bartleby | Mokvar] has logged on.

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] there we go

You have joined a raid group.

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] oh hey, and there’s our tenth

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you need to clear your stacks

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] you can’t cure it?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, let me just see about the settings on this thing before I try doing anything else

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i CAN

[Officer][Lorthemar] Well hello!

[Officer][Lorthemar] It seems like I haven’t seen you in ages, Bartleby.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hang on gil

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] let me know if you need any help with it

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey

[Bartleby | Mokvar] has joined the raid group.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi bart

[Guild][Lorthemar] Welcome!

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] wb mok

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Thanks

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Indeed, it’s good to see you again, Mokvar.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] but i only have so many charges of penicillin

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ve got you

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Welcome back to the land of the living. Perhaps literally, from what I understand.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] so it would be easier if you could just watch your stacks yourself

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] crap what was that??

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Heh, yeah

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i lost like half my health!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh hey bart, wb

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey everyone

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yea that was [Induced Vomiting]

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] it takes a bunch of health but now the poisons out of ur system

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, I’m glad that’s over with. Being dead isn’t something I would have wanted to make a regular thing of.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you know in my other guild we just let people die if they get avoidable stuff on them

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] thats harsh

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Sorry I’m late, by the way

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol that would be funny

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh it’s not so bad at all if you know how to manage the situation to your advantage.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that way they learn to stop doing it

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] shut up ut

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] not a big deal, we’re just re-clearing the food court

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I would have been happy to assist you in that regard, had it come to it.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its not a big deal, no need to let him die

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean steve

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] steve

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, I think I’ve got this set

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Zoning back in now

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Heh, yeah, hopefully I won’t have any more reason to hold you to that.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] clearly the people in your -other- guild possess the capacity to learn.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] maybe no NEED really but it might just be fun anyway

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] What are you working on anyway, boss?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] 😦

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has entered the raid instance {BLACK FRIDAY}

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] aww gil *hug*

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] installing LEA

[Officer][Lorthemar] He’s setting up an addon for the raid.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Ahh

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] 🙂

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ah, cool, you got raid warnings working

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] u should try to be careful tho

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, now let’s see…

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] if it’s any help, next time you see a food poisoning cloud, steer away from it and let me send one of my pets to get it

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh, yeah, those food poisoning debuffs are nasty

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i can send a vulture or maybe a raccoon

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}<<<~~RW::testing, testing

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] those helped a lot in my other guild

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] With any luck, this will help people be a little more…conscious of the goings-on in the encounter.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] At least the ones from the food court mini-boss

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] o.O

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ya but then wont they get food poisoning and die?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, there we go

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yea no kidding bart

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[**RAID GROUP COMPOSITION**]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Raider Name]~~~~~~[Class]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]~~Teacher
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Bartleby | Mokvar]~~~~~~~Chef~
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[GilbertRose | Dontrag]~~~~Cashier
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]~~~Lawyer
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Lorthemar]~~~~~~~~~~Hairdresser
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[MrBadCrumble | Spazzle]~~~Firefighter
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Nightengayle | Garona]~~~~Nurse
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[ProfHubert | Faranell]~~~~~Zookeeper
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Proudleslie | Jaina]~~~~~~Paramedic
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[SteveKravitz | Utvoch]~~~~Cashier

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] better the pet than you

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Looks like it’s working okay

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] not so sure about that lol

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] shut up steve

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::here we go, raid warnings up and running

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] cool

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] I watch that guy and I’m like, man, I wish *my* food poisoning hit that hard

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] ok guys

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] no, that’s the whole point of a scavenger. they have highly resilient digestive systems.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] we’re clear here

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no kidding, bart – i feel the same way about some of the self-heals these mobs have

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] let’s get moving to the dept. store entrance

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh okay

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, no kidding

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::HEY

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i wouldn’t want to get your pets killed

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] awww thats sweet of you worrying about the poor animals

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Makes me wish *I* could be a mini-boss

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::YOU HEARD HIM

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yes, that is indeed touching.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GET YOUR ASSES MOVING

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol yeah me too

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey, you know, I could get to like this thing

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] admittedly, the expression of compassion suffers somewhat from being directed toward a collection of pixels.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] what

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WHATS UUUP BITTTCCHHHEESSSS

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hoo boy

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] who’s doing that?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh dear.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol pwn has a new toy

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh yeah

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] um

[Guild][Lorthemar] That’s Omgipwnedurface.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Man, I wish I had something like this in real life

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i think maybe there was something wrong with my game

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well, there is.

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I think I might end up regretting this

[Officer][Lorthemar] You just couldn’t have done the raid warnings yourself, eh, Spazzle?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] insofar as you’re the one playing it.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Trust me, boss, you do.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um who else would be playing my game?

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I think he kinda wanted to do them himself…

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ut you idiot

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] might i suggest literally anyone?

[Officer][Lorthemar] Ugh, I can already tell it’s going to get old quickly.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] okay

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean steve

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, people

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] i think we’re set

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We had a little trouble with this encounter last time, so I’m going to run through this real quick

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Now now, Regent-Lord, let is focus on the task at hand.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i know the encounter so I’m going to afk real quick

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We start the encounter split in two groups

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh ok is gayle’s gonna afk imma make a quick bio

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And reserve petty infighting for its own time and place.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOLD IT

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::HOLD IT RIGHT THERE

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::NO FUCKING AFK’S

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::IF YOU HAVE TO GO, FUCKING HOLD IT

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::TILL LATER

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] shoulda kept a cup by you’re desk steve

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WE ARE NOT

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::REPEAT NOT

[Officer][Lorthemar] -sigh-

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] eww gross

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] lol

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::CAPITAL N CAPITAL O CAPITAL T

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GOING TO GET STARTED WITH THAT PANDAREN WATER TORTURE

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WHERE WE SPEND THE NIGHT BLEEDING TO DEATH

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::FROM THE SLOW DRIBBLE OF A THOUSAND CHAIN AFKS

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I must say, Warchief, this is an occasion when I can appreciate your more authoritarian approach.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GODDAMMIT

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok ok sorry

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok back

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I know, right?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] so are we doing a break now or not?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i thought we weren’t

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Putting out some food

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::AS I WAS SAYING

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Come buff up while we get set.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Steve and Gilbert are going to take the registers and handle the waves of shoppers

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ty bart

[Guild][Lorthemar] Thank you, Bartleby.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Healers will stay in the middle so they can keep an eye on both groups

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The rest of us will be clearing inventory in the stock room

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] bartleby, you should try to stay near the healers too

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] try to send some extra buffs to whichever group needs it

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You guys on the registers need to check out the shoppers as they come in

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You need to keep up with the pace they’re coming in, but not go too fast

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] If you check out too many too fast, the next waves spawn faster and eventually we’re going to get overrun

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If they end up spawning too many, I can go over and pick some up as well.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] you guys at the registers

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So you want to check them out slowly

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And by slowly I mean FUCKING SLOW

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not an ideal solution, but I can do what I can, then use my [Restraining Order] to drop aggro.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] try to use as many credit charges as you can

[Officer][Lorthemar] Good idea.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] payments over time help balance out the pacing a lot

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok got it

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] I’ll admit, having those two doing a key job doesn’t exactly make me bubble over with confidence.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Once we fill out the sales quota for phase 1, that’ll spawn the boss

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] i know

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] There’s no aggro reset so you need to get the fuck out of the way once Bridezilla spawns

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and the bridesmaid adds

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] True, but they’d be in no less of a position to derail the attempt in the stock room.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and let BadCrumble pick them up

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Don’t get close to the fitting rooms

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, true.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Burn down the two bridesmaids LDG marks, then everyone on the boss

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If we can handle the phase transition well, we should be fine.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s been out biggest difficulty.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] manage trash waves, burn boss, profit

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] got it!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Everybody good then?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yes sir

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] looks like it

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] go go go!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay then

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Here we go

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Initiated:BRIDEZILLA]]

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Everyone to your places

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I have the left side of the stock room covered.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok I have everyone in range

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I’m good on the right side

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 1]]

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ve got the whole inventory group covered

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] incoming

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] except lor

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok gil can you try not to get too far from the register

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] your getting out of range

[Guild][Lorthemar] I need to be this close to be in melee range.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok

[Guild][Lorthemar] I’ll back up to get in range if I start getting hit.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so far so good

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A little extra focus on this side, Professor?

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] stock room clearing out fine so far

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] keep it going

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We can probably afford to clear the shoppers a little faster

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] could you use a hyena or an ocelot?

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] yeah

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ocelot, please.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] gil you need to stay in range

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 2]]

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] on it.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok thats better

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] we’re good over here

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good, they’re evening out now.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Heals going okay?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] if gil can keep in range yea

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i can reach him gayle

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] I’ll put out some carrots

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Shoppers?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] [Sharp Eyesight] for your range.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] actually

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] we’re getting behind

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Which wave are we on?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] 2

[Guild][Lorthemar] Two

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] should i send a pet out to help?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] 2

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Pick it up, guys

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s not good.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I didn’t mean THAT slow

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 3]]

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We should be on

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] well there we go.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] did we clear wave 2?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What are you guys doing up there?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ugh

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] trying sir

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You guys need to get more payments over time rolling on all of them

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] bart can you buff them up

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] What do we need, coffee for haste or spinach for might?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Both, if you can.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Okay, but I’ll have to blow my [Smorgasbord]

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] do it

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] More PoTs

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] having it later won’t matter if we don’t get there

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] More PoTs

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Done

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That should help.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Channeling {Customer Dissatisfaction}]]

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, braintrust, now you should

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] INTERRUPT THAT

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] oh fuck

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] too late

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh crap

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We have a manager incoming

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] on my way

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Where at?

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] can you cover this here lor

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Querulous Manager Spawned]

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] register 4

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] ok

[Guild][Lorthemar] I’ll do the best I can.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] ugh

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::BadCrumble to register 4

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::ProfHubert to register 4

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::SteveKravitz to register 4

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] picking him up

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] ok

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::Bartleby to register 4

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::whatever the fuck you do

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] no guys

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::DON’T STAND CLOSE TO OTHER PEOPLE

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] crap

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] spread

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] spread

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Querulous Manager Casting {Frightful Admonition}]]

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Crap

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] damn i’m feared

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Can someone clear him?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] he’s out of range

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] shoppers loose

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m coming out

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] grabbing them up the best I can

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh dear

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] crap

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] He got feared into the dressing room…

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh dammit.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Frantic Bridesmaids Spawning]]

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugghhhhh

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] WE’VE GOT BRIDESMAIDS

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] got some on me

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] summoning my honey badger.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::MANY BRIDESMAIDS

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] dammit i’m down

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] putting it on some of the bridesmaids.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::HANDLE IT

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We can’t be shorthanded now

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] getting him up

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] you sure prof?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] CLEAR

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[Proudleslie | Jaina] Casts: {Defibrillator} on [GilbertRose | Dontrag]

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Not the first time she’s said that, am I right?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] they hit pretty hard

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] watch

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] whew ok

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] maybe not the time, chief

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh wow yea

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] honey badger doesnt give a fuck

[Officer][Lorthemar] -snicker-

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] More heals on MBC

[Guild][Lorthemar] We’ve got bridesmaids back in the storeroom now

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::FUUUCCCCKKKKK

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lot of adds loose still

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] trying

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Kind of hard for him to get them all when jackasses spawn too many

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] we’ve got a lot of damage coming in

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] bah, I’m dead.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yet again.

[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m down, too.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I’ve got a bad feeling about this

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ugh i’m dead

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] second time

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] amatuer.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] focus the manager, maybe if we can get him out of the way

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::everyone on manager

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::NO AOE, FOCUS FIRE

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] well so much for that

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] i’m down

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] aaaaaand i have some friends

[Bob] has logged on.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] my defib’s on cooldown =(

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It doesn’t much matter at this point.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] dead

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] UGGGHH

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] just wipe it

[Guild][Lorthemar] Yeah.

[Officer][Lorthemar] I knew it was going to be trouble relying on them for that job…

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] yeah

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OK

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] SO

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] problem is they’re way more suited for shoppers than anything else

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::SO

[Officer][Lorthemar] I know…

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Ended:BRIDEZILLA (100%)]]

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WHAT

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::THE FUCK

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WAS THAT SHIT

[Guild][Bob] ’ey, you get ’em, mon? link da loot!

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I can revive. Don’t release.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I MEAN SERIOUSLY

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] no bobby =(

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOW WAS THAT EVEN REMOTELY FUCKING POSSIBLE

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i know, that was rough

[Guild][Bob] ahhh dat sucks, mon

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] you know, the worst part is it was actually going pretty well there

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] what happened

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] until it started coming apart

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[[[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Casting {Death and Taxes}]]

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] why yes, everything was going just swimmingly until suddenly everyone was dead.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You two

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Gil and Steve

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ugh dammit Gil get over here so you don’t accidentally start the encounter again

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no i’m steve

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I DON’T FUCKING CARE WHICH ONE YOU ARE

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We may need to come up with a creative way around this phase.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Look, you two

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We put you

[Officer][Lorthemar] Hopefully “creative” in a non-hacking, non-exploit sort of way, yes?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] on fucking CASHIER duty

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] right

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yes sir

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, Regent-Lord, you’re so charmingly boy scoutish.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So hang on

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But fine.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Look at this.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[**RAID GROUP COMPOSITION**]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Raider Name]~~~~~~[Class]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]~~Teacher
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Bartleby | Mokvar]~~~~~~~Chef~
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[GilbertRose | Dontrag]~~~~Cashier
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]~~~Lawyer
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Lorthemar]~~~~~~~~~~Hairdresser
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[MrBadCrumble | Spazzle]~~~Firefighter
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Nightengayle | Garona]~~~~Nurse
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[ProfHubert | Faranell]~~~~~Zookeeper
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Proudleslie | Jaina]~~~~~~Paramedic
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[SteveKravitz | Utvoch]~~~~Cashier

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um ok

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] IT’S THE ENTIRE REASON YOUR FUCKING CLASS EVEN EXISTS

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOW

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOW

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] also, FUCKING HOW????

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I have a thought. What about this.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] how what sir?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] ljksdhfglishpg9tj78w945e3fyhvwol384t6y7holsighd

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] It would have to be an improvement over what we’re doing, really…

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] sorry sir

[Guild][Lorthemar] I really just don’t understand.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We’re not managing the shoppers in the first phase well enough.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Granted, I wasn’t out there.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] So let’s bypass them.

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] how?

[Guild][Lorthemar] But how could you have gotten that far behind on shoppers?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Let’s zerg phase one.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] um i dont know

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What’s “zerg”?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Were you even using any of your abilities at all?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i think so

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Nothing, really.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I just made up the word. I just thought it sounded good.

[Guild][Lorthemar] You…think so?

[Guild][Lorthemar] …

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well what does it mean?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It means we all swarm the adds in the first phase.

[Guild][Lorthemar] How do you not know if you were even USING your abilities?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] All in a big, overpowering mass.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] try not to get upset lor

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i dont know

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Rather like felhounds, come to think of it.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i’m clicking on buttons and stuff

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Well the thing is, though, the faster we take the first adds, the faster more will spawn.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Do you know what they DO?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i have a cashier alt in my other guild

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] If we try to power through them, we’ll be swimming in them.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] maybe i can try to explain this to you guys?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] how do you know?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] True.

[Guild][Lorthemar] How do…

[Guild][Lorthemar] …

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But we’re swimming in them anyway.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh wow that would be really nice gayle

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok i can try

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] This way, at least, we can all be focused on powering through the checkouts.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Blazes…

[Guild][Lorthemar] They should not be at the raiding stage and still need someone to explain what their abilities do!

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And once we spawn the boss, we won’t have any more shoppers spawning.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lor dont get so upset

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lor I agree but we are where we are

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It’s actually not a bad idea.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] It’s risky, but yeah, if it works…

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] would you prefer no one help them and they keep making mistakes?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hey, why are all the officers so quiet?

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Maybe if we blow all our cooldowns and buffs right off the top.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] My thinking exactly.

[Guild][Lorthemar] I would prefer to have guildmates who knew what they were doing!

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Spazz, what do you think? Number crunch real quick?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] hey look lorthemar

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] uhh yea…

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] they’re talking in officer chat.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] we’re doing the best we can okay

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] about what?

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I’m coming up with a 32.33% chance of survival

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] repeating

[Guild][LORHTHEMAR] Actually not okay, but still.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Of course

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] and its pretty lousy for you to be getting all nasty about it

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] like considering

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] probably about how much you fail.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well, that’s a lot better than we’re doing right now

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh 😦

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? Considering?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean come on man, you only just joined the guild

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Agreed, Warchief.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ya wasnt it just a couple weeks ago?

[Guild][Lorthemar] …

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] we hardly even know you and you’re gonna be talking crap about people?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well i can’t see any way at all that this won’t end well.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay

[Guild][Lorthemar] ………

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] actually i think he joined like a month or so after i did

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ll spell it out to these clowns

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] but ya man who are you to be coming down on everyone

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::Okay, listen up

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh SCREW THIS

[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m

[Guild][Lorthemar] LOR’THEMAAAAARRRRRR

[Guild][Lorthemar] THERONNNNNNNN

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Initiated:BRIDEZILLA]]

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] whats going on

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] oh crap

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] He started the encounter!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] dammit lor’themar

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 1]]

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GO GO GO GO GO

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ugh this repair bill is gonna suck

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GET IN THERE

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] ugh

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] picking up as much as I can

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Frantic Bridesmaids Spawning]]

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] and the wheel turns again.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] dammit lor’themar!

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] well damn that was fast

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Well, now we know I can tank really well

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] just extremely briefly.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh fucking hell

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -sigh-

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh my defib is still down

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Regent-Lord…

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I don’t think it’s really going to matter, leslie

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] down.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] me too

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Ended:BRIDEZILLA (100%)]]

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Dammit Lori

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you idiot, lor’themar

[Guild][Lorthemar] At least I have roasted quail.

[Lorthemar] has logged off.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ugh

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I am not looking forward to the email that will surely be coming this afternoon.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay people

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] This clearly isn’t going to work tonight

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Let’s call it a night and try to start fresh next week

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ok pwn

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea probably just as well

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m gonna log. Maybe Ben-Lin’s got some free time

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] sorry sir, i’ll try to do better

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Of course, sir.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ll try to help puffy finish leveling too

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] later, chief

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] maybe he can help a little

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well, we know he’s magical.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] You know, if we need someone to swap in next time, I might know someone.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] right?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] does that include miracles?

You have logged off.

Yeah, so. I’ll write more later, after go find Ben-Lin. And beer. Lots of beer. Not necessarily in that order.

More soon.

Spazzle Speaks: Family Ties

You have logged on.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s what I told him, but I think we may just have to humor him for the time being.

[Officer][Lorthemar] Once we finish our work on the animus golem here, we should be able to augment our resources.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] thanks!

[Officer][Lorthemar] Oh, hello, Spazzle.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You -do- seem to have been spending a lot of time on that of late.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Spazzle.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] np

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey guys

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Hey, mon.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] anyway hate to craft and run but i need to log for now

[Officer][Lorthemar] Well I suspect it’s going to yield some very useful results, once Aethas gets done with it.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: hey

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: how are you feeling?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] later leslie

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i have some magic research to go work on

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how’s everyone doing?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Better, mon.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You’ll have to keep me posted of your progress.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I jus’ got one ting I got to do here in Pandaria, den I be ready to come back to Durotar.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] too bad prof’s not on, he could probably help you

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Start workin’ on cleanin’ up da mess dere.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol oh dont get me started with him again

[Officer][Lorthemar] Oh, speaking of which, it looks like Jaina is doing some magic research herself.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: that’s good, I’m glad you’re almost recovered

[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged on.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Something of a quiet night tonight, Spazzle.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: What about you, mon? I haven’t heard much from ya in a while.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh hey there he is

[Officer][Lorthemar] Now I just have to see…

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: eh, it’s just been kinda crazy here

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg i’m leaving so dont try to get him started

[Guild][Lorthemar] What kind of research, Leslie?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I bet, mon.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: i’m in the burning steppes with garrosh

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: looking for ji

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] started on what?

[Guild][Lorthemar] I’ve been working with a number of mages myself of late.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: we just landed in flame crest a little while ago

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, well it’s good to see him logging on, I suppose.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] leslie’s doing some kind of magic research

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ya talk to Ariok dere, mon?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] who, faranell? why’s that?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh its actually really cool lor

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m actually not entirely clear on the details, Spazzle.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] One moment.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: no, he’s not here, that’s the thing

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well that should be…adequate.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? How so?

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: vahgruk says ji came here a couple days ago

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: i guess ariok went with him to blackrock spire to look for clues about mokvar

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes, Leslie, this sounds interesting indeed. What are you working on, pray tell?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok my dungeon queue just popped, probably going to be quiet for a few

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg prof geez

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Might be some fireworks is ya find ’em, mon. Ariok ain’t no fan o’ da Warchief.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Evidently there was some sort of calamity at the Apothecarium earlier.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah, so I hear

[Officer][Lorthemar] I must admit, if it weren’t necessary for us to be discreet about who we are, I would love to lord our animus research over her.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] what kind of calamity?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Matter of fact, mon –

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ariok heard how Garrosh been treatin’ Eitrigg, he might take care of our ‘Warchief’ problems himself.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] well

[Officer][Lorthemar] You know she would burn up with jealousy if she knew what we have on our hands.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I’m not going to… I don’t even know what you’re suggesting, but I’m not going to

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m not sure; the good doctor has been rather secretive the last few days.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] not to brag but

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] we drained the power of the thunder king into a staff!

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I know ya don’ wanna hear it, mon, but da sooner we do somethin’ ’bout Garrosh, da easier it gonna be for all of us.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Though I’m not likely to complain – whatever is going on down there has prompted Bragor Bloodfist to spend much of his time in the Apothecarium as well, which means less time with him hovering around me.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh wouldn’t help Ji.

[Officer][Lorthemar] …

[Officer][Lorthemar] klsjdhfgkjshgdfskjhgfkjsdfgkjhsgfd

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ariok is.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I understand why.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh, okay

[Officer][Lorthemar] she

[Officer][Lorthemar] she drained the power… of…

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ariok see Ji, an’ all he know is he’s Horde, and he need help, and he gonna give it to ’im.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: hey

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh, he don’ see tings dat way.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] anyway!

[Officer][Lorthemar] 9oqwuolieyurgt;poayhgbihgbolugf

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i need to run!

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh don’t see nothin’ but power an’ vengeance, mon.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: He don’t see da Horde like Ariok, or me. Or you.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A propos of nothing, Lor’themar, you strike me as someone who might know a thing or two about fine dining. Would you happen to know what type of wine goes best with crow?

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: well hello, person who’s never talked to me before but now takes a sudden inexplicable interest.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] see everyone soon!

[Proudleslie | Jaina] has logged off.

[SteveKravitz | Utvoch] has logged on.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: um, yeah, sorry

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Da way I see it, da Horde is family.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Dontrag.

[Officer][Lorthemar] I… just… she… HOW?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Interesting.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Da world knock us down, family pick each other back up again.

[Officer][Lorthemar] What?!

[Officer][Lorthemar] HOW?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] hey

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Three excellent questions, Regent-Lord.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh, he don’t see family.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Don’t understand it.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Never had one.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] but i’m utvoch

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, is that your alias, then?

[Officer][Lorthemar]  I think I need to go lie down.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: I just heard about the… whatever, down in the apothecarium

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol what?

[Officer][Lorthemar]  This is not good for my rage.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: you never met lakkara, did you?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, it’s a curious thing, Dontrag.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: is everything okay?

[Lorthemar] has logged off.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Who dat, mon?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Just now, Jaina Proudmoore logged off. And a few seconds later, you logged on.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or should I say, you logged -back- on.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah i logged back in, haven’t gotten to play in a couple days

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: i’ll manage.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: never mind

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh come now, Dontrag.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or whoever you really are.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: anyway, we’ve been over this before

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] that would be utvoch

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] So you would have us believe.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: what about shay? is she okay?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I ain’t gonna keep on ya, mon.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Do you really think we wouldn’t put two and two together?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] well no, two and two is pretty easy math

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And yet far greater than the calculus of your deception would presume us capable of!

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um what?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispers: Ya a good mon, Spazzle. I know ya don’ wanna turn on someone ya tink is a friend.

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispers: i’m sure shayari is wonderful, wherever she is.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispers: Ya be loyal. Dat’s a good ting.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] How long have you been Jaina Proudmoore, Dontrag?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] dontrag’s not even here

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh no? Then to whom am I speaking? Are you -still- Jaina Proudmoore?

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: wait

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Nay, have you in fact been Jaina Proudmoore lo this entire time in the guild?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Time gonna come, though, ya gonna have ta decide how long ya gonna be loyal ta Garrosh, when he ain’t loyal ta us.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: wait

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: what???

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no i mean dontrag is over in the valley of honor visiting his nephew ug’thok

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] he should be on soon though

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: where is she??

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh come now, Dontrag, don’t insult our intelligence.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] why would i do that

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you’re going to make up a cover story, at least keep your lies straight.

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: that’s the 5000g question, now isn’t it?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We all know Utvoch isn’t your nephew.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] what

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no no not utvoch, ug’thok

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: what happened??

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Don’t try to hide behind an obvious typographical error, Dontrag.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m utvoch

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or are you Ug’thok?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or perhaps Ig’thak?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or Jig’nak?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or – as the trail grows clearer – JAINA!

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: well, she was settling in well enough, and we were starting to go over a few lessons.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m confused

[GilbertRose | Dontrag] has logged on.

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: she seemed to be taking more of an interest in azerothian geography, but i figured she was curious about the lay of the land in her new home, so i ran through an overview for her.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, and here’s your alleged nephew.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or might it be Kalecgos? All bets are off at this point.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] um, whats going on?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] who’s kalecgos?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] WHO INDEED!

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: and evidently, she spotted a vacation destination that looked too good to pass up, because off she went.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] what the hell?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But one thing at a time!

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We were just discussing, Utvoch, how your uncle, heretofore known by his alias of “Dontrag,” has at last been exposed!

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you can’t be serious

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] dammit ut what did you do

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i swear i just logged on

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you let her run away?!

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] As his true identity, Jaina Proudmoore!

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] and said where you were

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wait, what about jaina?

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: i didn’t LET her do anything.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The woman who has incurred the rightful wrath of the Horde!

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] isn’t that the lady that was in all those tabloids with thrall?

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: as the swollen purple region on my head will readily attest.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ruthlessly persecuted our citizens in Dalaran!

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Indeed! Sullied the good name of a beloved Warchief!

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok but what about her?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Don’t act like you don’t know, Ug’thok.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If that -is- your real name.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wait, ug’thok is my nephew

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] that’s what i tried to tell her

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: incidentally, i’ll be sending garrosh the bill for the repairs to my jaw.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No, Ug’thok is -Dontrag’s- nephew.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] right but i’m dontrag

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: it was brand new, too.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] and i’m utvoch

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: typical.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Now don’t be ridiculous, the both of you.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Why, if -you- were Utvoch, Dontrag, then that would mean that you are also Dontrag’s nephew.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: man seriously

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no that’s ug’thok not utvoch

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And clearly you could not be his nephew.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] right because we’re not related

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you have GOT to find her

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Because JAINA PROUDMOORE IS NO ONE’S NEPHEW!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok you know, i’ve been out of my dungeon for a while, but i’m just sitting here in awe, BQ

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: capital idea. how do you suggest i do that?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] um

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] …

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: I… I don’t know, can’t you home in on her or something?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m really confused

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It therefore stands to reason, Dontrag, that since you are Jaina, and as such cannot be Utvoch, it must therefore be Dontrag who is Utvoch, and therefore your nephew.

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: this isn’t some sci-fi/fantasy novel, i can’t just wave a magic wand.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] my eyes are starting to hurt

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: well i can. but you know what i mean.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] but how can he be my nephew, i’m an only child

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: dude really

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: that time I lost a BOOK garrosh loaned me, he beat me till I was green and brown

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] SEE? And the tangled web of your would-be deception comes further unraveled!

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: aren’t you always green and brown?

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: a DARKER SHADE – goblins bruise differently, ok??

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i think i need some grog

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: the point is, that was just a book – you lost his DAUGHTER, man!

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yea me to

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] are you having fun?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Perhaps you can conjure some, Jaina.

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: ugh I need to go

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you need to get on this, really

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Does it show? ^_^

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] whatever

[SteveKravitz | Utvoch] has logged off.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i guess we’ll be back later.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I need to take off – see you later

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m glad we cleared all this up.

[GilbertRose | Dontrag] has logged off.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Take care, Spazzle.

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Dark Lady, I jus’ gotta say, dat was beautiful.

You have logged off.

 

 

[Addendum!  Remember, we have our next Meta Raid coming up this Saturday at 8:00 PM EDT.  Just as a logistical matter, I’d appreciate it if anyone who thinks they’re likely to attend would let me know, whether it be through a comment, an e-mail, a message on Twitter, or what-have-you.  Looking forward to “seeing” many of you over the weekend!]

Coming Attractions

Hi, everyone.  Averry here — no, I haven’t been kidnapped or brutally murdered.  (Yet.)

It’s been a busy few weeks for me off on Earth Online, so I’ve been mostly focusing on that while allowing myself a needed breather from working on the blog.  (Along those lines, I may try to build in a few scheduled “breaks” so that I can sneak in a little down time without making everyone wonder where Garrosh has vanished off to.  Updates as needed.)

That said, I’m ready to start rolling out some new material, and I have quite a bit in the pipeline for the next few weeks.  So, just to whet everyone’s appetite, I thought I’d make a quick post, grab everyone’s attention, and tease a glimpse at what you can expect to see coming your way in the days ahead.

First and foremost: this being the tail end of Darkmoon week, tomorrow night (Saturday, April 12) we’ll be meeting up for this month’s meta raid.  As always, everyone is invited to join in for Siege of Orgrimmar — Flex if possible, if we enough people and the appropriate roles covered; LFR (with vent snarking sure to follow) if need be.  Feel free to add me on RealID (Averry#1116) if you haven’t already, and hit me up for an invite!  We’ll plan to get things rolling around 8:00 PM EDT.

So, what else do we have coming up?  Well, mark your blog-reading calender…

This coming week:

• Monday (4/14) — Garrosh responds (graciously, no doubt) to his Liebster nomination, courtesy of Myraide.
• Wednesday (4/16) — New web comic: “Moving Day”
• Saturday (4/19) — A new 30 Days of Character Development installment.  But who from among our cast will it be?  Let’s just say it’s a she…and a nut case.

Coming the following week-plus:

• Another new comic: “The Secret Life of Spazzle Fizzletrinket”
• New Earth Online guild chat log!  Can Bob be far behind?
• Garrosh journeys to the Burning Steppes, Eitrigg’s son Ariok makes his WCB debut, and the hunt for Ji Firepaw begins!

Also, lest we forget, we’re just a few weeks away from the release of World of Warcraft: War Crimes by Christie Golden on May 6.  Obviously, there’s a ways to go before the blog will catch up to the events of the novel, but it’ll still be plenty interesting to get a fuller picture of where we’re all heading (as well as, um, just how much retconning I’ll need to start doing!).

We’ve already seen excerpts from War Crimes, which brings me to one last item for now.  After this first excerpt was released — Garrosh facing the charges against him and entering his non-plea — I saw several forum poster noting that Garrosh reminded them of the Joker, between his sarcastic applause and general attitude toward the proceedings.  And, well, once they went and planted that idea in my head…

Yeah, yeah, I know.  Still.

See you all soon,

 

Averry

Transmogs for Shay!

Time for the fashion show at last!  It’s taken me a lot of time to get all the Transmogs for Shay entries sorted out, but I’m finally ready to declare some winners and, more importantly, show off the full gamut of sartorial goodies that many of you have sent my way!

A few preliminaries:  Thank you to everyone who submitted entries!  It was a lot of fun to pore over your designs (even for someone like me, who has never once transmogged anything, ever) (No, really.) and imagine how they might look on everyone’s new favorite half-draenei girl.  Choosing winners was extremely difficulty, and honestly, if you wiped my memory and asked me to do it again, I might very well chose different ones — it really was an embarrassment of riches.  As such, by the way, I make no guarantees that I won’t dip into more of these outfits if I decide to get ambitious with Shayari’s wardrobe at some point.  In fact, I’d say it’s likely that I will.  With proper in-blog acknowledgement, of course!

To make the imminent outpouring of fashion more manageable, I’m breaking the outfits down into various categories.  Otherwise, the transmogs are listed in the completely arbitrary order that they ended up in the folder I keep for blog images.  Apologies if the layout of pictures gets a little messy at times; WordPress doesn’t seem to have the more cooperative editor in the world where these matters are concerned.  I’ve included links when available, and tried to link back to the blogs of any other bloggers who submitted entries (please tell at me if I missed you).

And so, with no further ado…on to the transmogs!

 

N.S.F.G. (Not Safe For Gurtash)

Somehow, I knew this category was going to be necessary.  Even though one of the contest criteria was that the outfits needed to be something that could be safely entrusted to Gurtash to draw…well…you know what tends to happen with transmog.  Still, I’d decided well in advance that I was going to include all the entries here, so let’s see how some of you sick, sick individuals decided to torment our poor, teenage trainee…

Our first questionable submission comes from Sintra E’Drien, and, well…yeah.

Sintra, don’t say I didn’t warn you if/when Garrosh turns up at your house.

Somehow, I knew someone was going to stick Shay in a bikini.  Aliok ended up doing the honors with this number, pointing out rightly that every girl needs a beach outfit, especially with the nice beach near Sen’jin Village.  She’s right, of course, but I shudder to imagine what would happen if Gurtash had to draw this…or, for that matter, if Garrosh caught Shayari hanging out with the trolls.

While Aliok was at it, though, she apparently went to the trouble of working up links for an assortment of items compiled by none other than Bob himself.  No, really.  Aliok writes that Bob informed her, “Dese be for Gurtash so he being practicing his art skills, hahaHA!”  Our first offering, such as it is, is for Noblegarden parties:

Next up from Bob, Shay sporting a variation of the dress that I’ve come to think of as the Soridormi gown:

Next, Bob digs out the Lovely Purple Dress to offer a little “celebrity style“:

And finally, Bob gives us an option for those Winter Veil parties:

Um, yeah, thanks, Aliok.  Gurtash says thanks, too.  Somewhat less sarcastically.  (I know, I know.  Fucking troll…)

 

DRAENEI WITH A BLUE DRESS ON (Color May Vary)

Now for some of the real entries!  First up, a look at the assortment of dresses, gowns, and robes that were submitted.  Since Shayari is a mage, and somewhat girly to boot, I figured these would be a key part of her wardrobe.

First up, we have this look from Myriade, who describes the outfit as “Shay Goes Garrosh” (note all the skulls and spikes — her father would be proud!).  It’s actually an impressive way of infusing the robe with a bloodthirsty vibe that you wouldn’t normally associate with mages, and definitely suits Shay’s background:

Next, a set of gowns and dresses from Kaneka.  This first one is built around the Gown of Blaumeux; I especially love the choice of matching staff.  Honestly, this look would be a serious contender if I weren’t so utterly intimidated by the thought of trying to draw it, because I know my paltry cartooning skills would fail to do it justice.

Next up from Kaneka, an aerial-themed look built around the Windchaser Robes.  Again, great coordination with the staff; maybe a tiny bit N.S.F.G, but whatever, the kid can just deal.

And one more from Kaneka (I would comment on what it’s based on, but I don’t have a link for this one, just the screenshot):

Sintra E’Drien, who was a troublemaker a few entries back, returns with something a little more credible here, and provides a pretty classic mage look:

This outfit from ZugZug, which she describes as “formal attire,” is another outfit that’s maybe possibly slightly N.S.F.G., but I’ll be damned if Shay wouldn’t wear it well:

This outfit from Ritaba, based on the Flirtation Regalia, comes in two forms, one with a robe and one with a vest; Ritaba notes that she prefers the vest, but I’m a bit partial to the robe version myself.  Either way, it’s a terrific, understated look, though it’s another one that I worry might lose something in translation (read: simplification) into comic form.

Rinike had posted this transmog previously on her eponymous blog (your homework: go look up “eponymous”), but sent these images along for Shayari’s perusal.  I’ll always associate this style of wizard hat/mask with early Cataclysm, Shadowfang Keep especially.

Next up, from Toka, a classic robe that many of us will remember from our Burning Crusade days:

Khizzara, longstanding WCB conspirator, secret identity of warrior-in-training Korrina, and author of Blog of the Treant, offers her “Spellbinder” look, complete with a myriad of angles and close-ups.  The halo is a great touch, I think, even if Shay may be a little too much of a stinker to earn one the conventional way…

From Ayalea, we have the Green Wedding Hanbok.  (Just don’t tell Garrosh what the dress is supposed to mean…)  (Or, maybe tell him, so he’ll know to run like hell if he ever sees Garona coming at him with one of these on…)

This simple but elegant robe from Malauch was a difficult cut.  I love the look of it, love the simple but effective use of the red and gold to offset the dark gray, but ended up reluctantly leaving it off the final list mainly due to reservations about how well a heavily-black costume would play in comic form.

Another gown from Malauch, this time drawing on purple and green highlights with a kinda-sorta mock-turtleneck style that you don’t see all that much.

Matakoa of Sugar & Blood brings us a vaguely priest-like look for Shayari:

And, finally, from Repgrind (known in-blog as Giska and Wega) of Reputation Grind fame, a very cool-looking robe that also falls into the “I think I would be afraid to try to draw this” category.  (Yes, my artistic cowardice is likely to become an ongoing theme.)

 

GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE

Before we move on from robes and dresses altogether, I should point out one phenomenon that I noticed while sorting out entries: a few of you have very similar tastes!  In particular, there were a handful of entries that all drew on the Astralaan Robe (or a very similar look)

First up, from Kaneka:

Then, Ayalea had the same idea, minus the shoulders and plus a rose:

And, this similar from Aliok…notes with a /sigh that this simple but pretty dress looks more like priest than mage gear:

I really like this look, actually, in all its forms.  It occurred to me, though, that if you look at the Astralaan Robe closely, it’s actually very nearly identical to Shayari’s signature blue dress, apart from using a different color palette.  As such, as much as I like this look, I felt that it kind of defeats the idea of infusing Shayari’s outfits with some variety.  That said…don’t bet against me using this color scheme as a cheap-and-easy way to add a further illusion of variety to Shay’s looks.

 

THE FOOL THAT MOGGED HER PANTS

Sure, dresses and robes are the signature mage look, but Shay also needs some options that use a vest or other top matched with pants.  As some of our wisest sages have noted, after all, nothing better shows your taste than what you wear below your waist.

Our first top-and-pants style outfit comes from Beltrine, who notes that if Shayari worries about Garrosh doubting their relation, she might go with this look to drive the connection home (complete with tusks on her shoulders, and a staff that could pass for an axe):

From ZugZug, her “Ready for Anything” look, which…call me crazy, but if you look at this outfit quickly then turn away, doesn’t it seem like something Michael Jackson might have worn…?

Another entry from Sintra E’Drien, who clearly loves his wizard hats (and who can blame him?):

ZugZug brings us “Battle Mage Shayari“, who’s looking pretty damn badass here, especially with that is-it-a-staff-or-is-it-a-tridenty-kinda-axe that she’s wielding:

Another entry from Toka, who mixes her colors in a way here that makes this outfit look vaguely shaman- or druid-like to me:

From Rakael (the alter ego of old friend Ruekie), we have a suit with a bit of Spanish flair; Rakael notes that Don Carlos’ Famous Hat would finish the ensemble…if it wouldn’t look rather ridiculous in Shay’s case:

Aliok describes this outfit as “semi-formal”, with optional helm, gloves, bracers, shoulders, and cloak in the link, though they’re really not needed for the outfit to stand on its own:

 

From Ayalea, here’s a possible “work outfit” for Shayari:

This one is the first of a pair from Malauch, in this case providing an obvious case of an item Shay really should have in her wardrobe somewhere: jeans!

Meanwhile, his second entry is a really terrific vest combo, one of the tougher cuts of any of the submissions:

 

SITUATIONAL AWARENESS

These outfits might never see the light of day (or maybe they might!), but they’re all unified by being very specific looks for very specific situations.  Continue on; you’ll get the idea quickly enough.

For instance, in case I ever come up with a story in which our characters go sailing, Toka gives us Pirate Shay:

Aliok, meanwhile, offers this outfit — which Shay could wear in the event she goes to a rave — with the disclaimer that she doesn’t really expect me to draw it, but just wanted to assault my eyeballs.  If my eyeballs are going to get assaulted, I’m taking the rest of you people with me, so here we go:

In more practical terms, Aliok also picked out some pajamas for Shayari:

 

AAAAAAAND THE WINNERS ARE…

And now for the big moment.  The winners!  As I said earlier, this was a very tough call to make, so in order to make things a little more manageable, I decided to break the three winning entries into three different types of outfit, with the idea being that the whole point of the exercise was to build some variety into Shay’s different looks.   So, our winners consist of one dress/robe-type outfit, one pants/vest outfit, and one top/skirt combo.  Which leaves us with…

Winner #1:  ZugZug, for her “Shay Out and About” combo:

Now, granted, the top here is more than a little N.S.F.G, but in ways that are easy enough to work around for comic-rendering purposes.  More importantly, though, I love the fact that this combination works with a clearly distinct set of top and skirt, as opposed to the full-body robe and vest-and-pants alternatives that comprise almost all the clothie outfits you usually see.  Also, with spring approaching, this struck me as a great seasonal outfit (especially for Noblegarden…without turning Shay into a Playorc Bunny).  The semi-sorta-handbag offhand is just icing on the cake.

Winner #2:  From Sintra E’Drien, the winner of the robe/gown category:

As I’ve said, people sent in a ton of great dresses, and I doubt that this will be the only one that will find its way into the blog.  But of all the options, this is the one that stood out the most to me.  Visually interesting without being overly complicated, elegant, just a terrific caster look.  Bonus point for affording me a chance to work some purple into Shay’s wardrobe (think in terms of the potential symbolism of blending red and blue).

Winner #3:  From Aliok, in the vest-and-pants category, Shayari’s “barfight” attire:

A change of pace for Shayari that I just couldn’t resist.  The jeans and vest strike just the right balance between cool and casual, and as Aliok pointed out in her submission, the brassy hands (and the overall look) give Shay the look of someone ready to trade blows in some rowdy tavern somewhere.  And I don’t think it’ll come as a shock to anyone that Shay has her father’s right hook.

 

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

Remember when I said how hard it was to make these picks?  Well, I’m weaseling out of some of the final decision-making, and handing that responsibility off to YOU, the Warchief’s LOYAL READERS AND MINIONS.  I’ve decided to add a fourth winner to the contest — to be determined by all of you!  Check out the five candidates below, and vote in the poll at the end of this post!

Finalist #1 – Snow Blossom:  Our first contender was submitted by Dragonray from Azerothian Life, who even posted the outfit in a blog entry a few weeks ago:

A little more formal than some other looks, but still simple and classy.  Bonus points for the off-hand fan, which will fit in especially nicely if Shayari finds her way to a clothier in Pandaria at some point.

Finalist #2 – My Robe and Wizard Hat:  From Sintra, this one is a variation of a similar outfit he’d also submitted, but with a color scheme that I thought suited Shayari a bit better (in general, I think reds and blues suit her a little better than greens):

Besides, you know I had to toss at least one classic wizard hat into the mix.

Finalist #3 – Scarlet Sindorei Robe:  From Khizzara, this robe set includes an alternate look using a Replica Magister’s Crown for the head:

Just a beautiful all-around look, as illustrated by some of the close-up detail shows Khizzara provided.

Finalist #4 – Antiquity:  Khizzara wasn’t done yet, though, because she still had this gem” in her pocket:

 

In her submission, Kash (a.k.a. Khiz) noted that most of the pieces in the outfit are pretty optional, as the gown itself can stand on its own.  I’m inclined to agree; not only does it work perfectly well as an outfit by itself, but it does so with a style and elegance that you don’t see in many other cloth pieces.

Finalist #5 – Indiana Shay:  I knew there was going to be at least one more vest/pants combo in here, and after wavering between a few excellent options, the nod finally went to this outfit from Malauch:

Cool, stylish, and strikes a nice balance between being adventurous enough for Shayari to wear while crawling through some dungeon and being dressy enough for her to keep on for more professional matters back home.  Bonus points for the hat (even though I’m not 100% sure it would make it into cartoon form…but I would try!), which makes me feel like Shay must be a secret Harrison Jones fan.

So, those are our candidates!  Now it’s time for you to make your voices heard:

Congratulations to all our winners, and thanks once again to everyone who submitted entries to the contest — the response was far greater than I was expecting, and the quality of submissions across the board made it much, much harder to pick my favorites than I was prepared for.  But, it’s not over yet — get voting!

 

[A few final programming notes: A reminder, tomorrow night — Saturday, March 8 — we’ll have having this month’s SoO Meta Raid, starting at approximately 8:00 PM Eastern.  As always, everyone is welcome to join in the fun; you can reach me on RealID as Averry#1116.  Since Averry is finally, FINALLY on the last stage of his legendary quest, I might try to coerce a few people to hop on a few minutes early to help me fight some Celestials..

More on the way soon, but I’ll toss in a disclaimer now: There are a couple posts coming up that will be very labor intensive to assemble — bear with me while I work on them, and I promise I’ll try to make the wait worthwhile.]

Monday mailbag

Okay, people, it’s been WAY too long since I’ve dipped into the ol’ mailbag, and I have a HUGE backlog of letters, so let’s get right to it, shall we?

 

Hail Warchief!

The Feast of Winter Veil is approaching, and it made me think. What do you hope to get from Greatfather Winter this year? Do you have any special family traditions? I look forward to seeing Orgrimmar all decorated for the festivities.
Happy Holidays!

–Lorewalker Shara

PS you may want to avoid using tinsel to decorate around Mortimer, unless you like festive poop! Might be a good idea to keep Taktani away from it too, thinking about it.

Hey, Shara, thanks for writing.  Hopefully Orgrimmar is looking all Winter Veily these days.  I’ll be back for a check-in soon, but I’m probably only going to make it back to town JUST in time to catch the end of the festivities.  As for my wish list… I remember addressing this point a couple years ago, and most of the stuff on that list still stands – especially Varian and Magatha’s heads on pikes – but there are a few more things I can think of that I might add to the list for this year.

• An actual explanation that makes sense for what the hell was going on with Mokvar while I was away.
• A wireless network here in Pandaria that’s actually reliable, so I can log onto Earth Online without it being a fucking comedy show.
• An on-site goblin tech guy who can maintain that network without the whole thing going kablooey and spitting out two burnt pieces of toast every time there’s a breeze, because let me tell you, Grizzle Gearslip ain’t happening.

Come to think of it, so far all of these could pretty much be covered if I could get a bunch more Spazzles.  Because really, as much as I clown on the guy, he actually knows what he’s doing and gets shit done, and unlike half these other jokers, I don’t have to worry about him running around behind my back doing spirits-know-what.  So, other additions to the list:

• A scribe that doesn’t have traitorous tendencies, a busted-up writing hand, or the disposition of a six-year-old on a sugar high from eating all the Hallow’s End candy EVER.
• The secret to controlling the sha.
• A First War commemorative chess set.  This is the normal-sized, less creepy version of the chess set Medivh had over in Karazhan.  It’s been rumored to be in the works for years, and I’ve finally started to see them showing up on ebAH.  Yes, I play chess.  Don’t act all surprised, for fuck’s sake.
• Varian’s head on a pike.  Did I mention this one?

As far as having family traditions for Winter Veil…not really.  I mean, keep in mind, Winter Veil is a pretty recent thing for us Mag’har.  We didn’t have Winter Veil back in Nagrand, so we only started picking it up at all after Thrall came out to Garadar a few years ago.  Greatmother Geyah really has taken a liking to it, but that’s about it.  Plus, not to get maudlin and shit, but it’s kind of hard to have family traditions when you don’t really have a family.  I mean, I never knew my dad, and my mom died when I was young.  I’m an only child.  As far as I know.  Assuming Grom wasn’t a bigger pimp than anybody’s given him credit for.  Anyhow, point being, Greatmother is pretty much the only family I’ve got nowadays, and even SHE’s not a blood relation – she’s just the one that raised me after Lakkara died.  So, yeah.  AREN’T YOU HAPPY YOU BROUGHT THAT UP?  BET YOU FEEL PROUD.

 

Greetings Warchief!

I am in desperate need of your assistance. I approached Regent Lord Lor’themar with my issue but he said that it was beyond his scope and directed me to contact you.

I recently inherited a house and it is in terrible need of redecoration. You have done a great deal of renovation recently and I was wondering if you could give me some tips to make my house look amazing. Attached is a picture of the house.

Thanks,

–Tegwin

Grats on the new house, Tegwin.  Not so grats on the place looking like such a shithole.  Because, yeah, that place needs some work.  I mean, seriously…the wispy, billowy day-glow curtains?  A bearskin rug with the bear head still attached?  Strewn out there like you’re getting ready to do a photo shoot you already know you’re going to regret in five years?  And… Is…is that a hookah?  Just sitting there, right out in the open, in the living room?  What are you, one semester removed from college and stuck with a slacker troll roommate who keeps swearing he’ll have his half of the rent this month, and this time he means it, mon, only you know perfectly well that’s not happening because felweed’s a hell of a drug?

So, okay, a few things.  You have to lose the pastels, first of all.  I know that probably goes against every last one of your blood elf sensibilities, but trust me on this.  You want strong, commanding colors – the kind that will make people think “Holy fuck, some serious shit goes on in this place” when they walk in.  Lots of reds and grays.  Err on the side of darker.  Go too dark with the red and you get a bloody crimson, which is still pretty badass.  Go too light and you get pink.  See where I’m going with this?

Mount some weapons on the walls.  If you haven’t cleaned them lately and they’ve got some bloodstains, all the better.  It adds to the color scheme I’m talking about, plus it conveys a message of “This person is not to be fucked with.”  Spikes.  You can never have too many spikes.  Or skulls.  Get some skulls in there.  If you can carve up the body of one of your enemies and, say, make their skull into a chair for yourself, awesome.  Or maybe turn their bones into an end table.  A hat rack will do in a pinch.  If you haven’t killed any notable enemies lately, but you’ve got an infamous foe that you really only know by reputation but somebody in your family killed, and you have THEIR remains somewhere handy, that’s just as good, because that fucker was brought down by your bloodline (AGAIN NOTICE THE BLOOD MOTIF) and you totally deserve to share credit for the accomplishment.

This is all for your living room, of course, and I know my tastes can be a little hardcore.  I figured you might want to take it down a notch or two for your bedroom, so I went to Garona to get a woman’s opinion.  Didn’t get very far, though.  I told her I had a question about the bedroom and tried to ask her if she matches her rugs and curtains, or words to that effect, but she just got all pissy for some reason.  So, not much help there.  I seriously don’t know what’s up with her sometimes.

Speaking of which…

 

Dear Warchief,

I’m writing this letter to you in secret and I hope it gets to you and I’m not killed in the process.  *looks around*

It’s about Garona Halforcen.  Sir, she scares the everliving shi—uh—crap out of me.  *looks around again*

I happened upon some history stuff about her and now I’m all confused.  She was there when the first invasion from the Dark Portal, then she had a kid with an old man, and she is half-orc, half-dradne dranin demon *looks up spelling* DRAENAI.  (She looks like an orc.  Smells like one too.  I don’t see it.)

Now I’m all confused and sitting in a dark tunnel with a lot of thinking time had me thinking about her again.

What I want to know…*looks around*

How old is she?  She’s got to be like….ANCIENT.  *hides paper, looks around*

She doesn’t make sense and I don’t want to ask her.  She’s scary.

–Ruekie, Shaman In Training

PS:  There’s a lot of talk lately with the orc kids about the Red Pox, and if there is something scarier than Garona it’s that. I heard you had it once. Did it hurt? Can you get it again? Can we get it? Can an outbreak happen again? Too many questions and we are getting freaked out. Like FREAKED out. Really.

Okay, first of all… Um, Ruekie, you realize we were JUST in those caves all alone and out of earshot of Garona, right?  Not sure why you didn’t just ask your questions THEN, but whatever.  Kids.

First, the Red Pox?  No, seriously, you don’t want to get into the Red Pox, that was just a bad scene all around.  I don’t know why you kids would be talking about it now, but really, just let that shit die.  Nobody needs to be digging up THOSE memories for anybody.

Okay, now that that’s settled, on to your main point.  Yeah, I’ll grant you the scary thing with Garona.  Scariest bitch I know who hasn’t come back from the dead.  Although it’s probably a sad statement about my life that the list of people I know who HAVE come back from dead is a lot longer than you would figure.  Because – I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before – NOBODY STAYS FUCKING DEAD ANYMORE.

Anyway, here’s the deal with Garona.  Yeah, she’s half orc, half draenei.  Back in the day, Gul’dan bred an orc and a draenei to create a personal assassin – enter Garona.  Yeah, she looks mostly orcish, but I guess these racial mixes are kind of a crap shoot as far as which race’s physical traits you get.

Anyhow, to tell you the truth, I’m not sure exactly when Gul’dan actually orchestrated her birth.  I know it was definitely before the Dark Portal opened, and that was about 30 years ago, but before that, there was a window of about 20 years when Gul’dan was up to some Really Bad Shit, so the breeding experiment could have happened anywhere in there.  Let’s shave off the first couple years to give Gul’dan time to come up with this idea and for Garona to be brought to term.  That would mean that Garona would have to be anywhere from, say, 32 (She’s not.  Seriously.  I’m 35.  There’s no damn way she’s younger than me.) to around 48 or so.  Anywhere in between, your guess is as good as mine.

Hang on, though – this gets more complicated when you add the fact that Gul’dan had Garona aged magically so that she could get right to work, no childhood needed.  Swell guy, huh?  Anyway, the age of adulthood among orcs varies a little from clan to clan, usually somewhere from 13 to 15.  (Yeah, I know, kid, can you believe it?  Technically you’re an adult.  Hard to imagine you’re a grown-up, huh?  Well, let me clue you in on a little secret: That thought won’t stop seeming weird for another 20 years.)  So that would mean, however old Garona is according to the calendar, she really has the body of a woman 13-some-odd years older.  So now we’re looking at a physical age putting her somewhere between 45 and, like, 60-something.  Which is kind of a big deal when you consider that 70 is about as old as you could reasonably hope to live as an orc, even if you do a perfect job taking care of yourself.

Oh, but hang on, we’re not done yet.  It’s about to get more complicated.  (Don’t look at me – I didn’t make this shit up.)  Because, see, since Garona has that draenei half, her aging is even more fucked up.  Draenei live for…like…forever.  I mean seriously, I think the average draenei lifespan is something like “infinity minus twelve.”  So you mix THOSE genes in with our good, wholesome “70 if you’re super lucky” orcish genes, and…well… You’ve got a woman who’s technically, like, 40, only with the body of a 53-year-old, only not really because 53 doesn’t mean anywhere near the same thing to the draenei part of her, so…um… Who the fuck knows?

She’s old, okay?  Only she’s kind of not.  Only she is.  Whatever – you go figure it out.  Meanwhile I’m going to go check around the room and make sure there aren’t any whooshing sounds coming from the corners.

 

The following is written in elegant, but slightly shaky, cursive script on pale peach-colored parchment paper

My dear little Roshy,

How are you doing? I have missed you. It’s beautiful here in Nagrand – we’re having the most glorious late-fall weather.  I hope all is well in Orgrimmar.

Why didn’t you tell me you have a girlfriend?  Sounds serious too… She has been sending me letters telling me about how deeply in love you both are, and has included many pictures of you with little hearts and flowers drawn on them.  She says you’re getting married in the spring?  Why didn’t you mention it?  You would think you’d keep your own family informed, dear.  We’ll have to have a little chat the next time you visit.  You are coming home for Winter Veil, are you not?

Also, you should take some pictures of the two of you together.  And perhaps find a new photo studio.  These look like they were printed on magazine paper instead of proper photo paper.  I can’t properly frame them for display, especially not with the lipstick kisses smeared all over them.

All my love,

–Greatmother Geyah.

Hold on, hold on, what… how the… it… GODDAMMIT, SOMEBODY IS FALSIFYING RECORDS OF THEIR WARCHIEF, and…and…  Oh fucking hell, now I’m going to have to go out there and explain Photoshop to her.  It was bad enough when I had the bright idea to try to show her the internet.  Nothing in my e-mail for two months but forwarded pictures of wyverns asking for cheeseburgers.  And WHO is this woman who’s…ugh.  You know what?  I don’t even think I want to know.  Even though I can probably think of a couple likely suspects.

Now I’m just imagining somewhere in Orgrimmar there’s a dim, candle-lit room with walls covered by pictures of me, and…no, no, don’t even go any further with that, Garrosh.  That way madless lies.

And now on top of everything, I have to squeeze in a trip to Nagrand before Winter Veil totally runs out on me, or I’m never going to hear the end of it.  Ugh.  Maybe I’ll bring Gurtash, and see if I can maybe distract her a little with the cute kid factor.  Or Ruekie?  I bet she’d like Ruekie.  Plus Rook might want someplace to hide anyway, what with her probably having Garona out for her head as soon as this post goes live.

 

Very good to hear you have escaped the Saurok caves unharmed. The Horde would be in a very dire position if we were to lose our leader.

I do have one question. Have you ever thought of asking a mage if they could manage to conjure lemon squares? I have no complaints, but the same old sticky buns are a bit tiring after some time (not to mention they turn stale and hard as a rock after some time sitting in a bag). Perhaps you should collaborate with my wife? I am sure she would be very good to collaborate with, or maybe another mage closer to your location.

Regards,

–Shen-Wei Pureblossom

Thanks for writing, Shen-Wei.  You know, I HAVE thought of this lemon squares angle before, but here’s the thing.  First off, there was a point around this time last year that I really thought Gija down in the Cleft of Shadow was on to something, but the problem is, lemon squares don’t really lend themselves to conjuring, apparently.  I mean, you can abracadabra up some pastries that are sorta, KINDA in the same ballpark as lemon squares, but you can tell they’re not the real thing.  It’s like the drop-off from real leather to that fake shit that the damn DEHTA hippies try to pass off and think they’re fooling anybody.  And once you’re used to eating the real thing, I mean, come on.  It would be like going from having me as Warchief to, I don’t even know, a fucking TROLL or something.

Second of all, having spent my whole life eating those lemon squares, let me tell you, we don’t need mages recreating Greatmother’s recipe, because IT’S ALREADY MAGICAL.  (See?  See how I’m already working on smoothing things over with her?  For real, I’m so fucking diplomatic you could just shit a brick.)

Also, even setting all that aside… Nothing personal, but I don’t take anybody up on any suggestions that include the phrase “perhaps you should collaborate with my wife” ever since the Incident That Shall Not Be Discussed over at Tharl Stonebleeder’s house.  Now stop making me think about things that cannot be unthought.  MOVING ON.

 

Hail Warchief.

Rumors are flying that there is a red pox outbreak. Is this anything like the scourge?

–Kelytas, Blood Elf Paladin, Borean Tundra

Wait, again with the Red Pox?  No!  We’re not going to talk about the Red Pox.  Why the fuck is everybody so curious about the Red Pox all of a sudden?

 

I really enjoyed that Photo-Op you had with King Varian a while ago.  I couldn’t help but notice that King Varian had a wonderful tousled-Anime-pigtail thing going on that was at the same time sexy but tough, and you…well, you just look cranky.

I checked in with the Couturier Barbershop in downtown Orgrimmar and was quite frankly shocked at the dismal array of hairstyles available.  An up-swept Mohawk with a scarf?  Are you kidding me?

I know you might have a couple of things on your plate right now but seriously, you really need to look into this before the entire Horde start looking like extras from Naxxramas.

Maybe you could contact King Varian, find out who does his hair and we could have a Stylist Exchange with one of our Barbers so they could learn some new hair techniques and bring back the Glory of the Horde.

I also noticed that our Tailors are in desperate need of new patterns.  Malevolent-style silk pantaloons?  Really?  That is so last-season…

–A Concerned Fashionista Blood Elf

Lor’themar, is that you?

Yeah, let me get right on that.  I’ll send a special diplomatic courier right over to Stormwind with a note that says, “Who does your hair??”  Yeah, that would go over great, I’m sure.

Hmm.  Actually, come to think of it, a message like that would probably seem SO weird to Varian that it might fuck with his head a little.  Like, I can totally imagine him reading that and thinking, “Garrosh wouldn’t give a shit about my hair…WHAT IS HE UP TO?”  And then he gets all paranoid and shit.  And meanwhile I’m just sitting back and not doing anything, and the longer this goes on the more paranoid he gets – ESPECIALLY when it’s time for him to go to the barber, because, hey, THIS IS WHAT GARROSH WAS ASKING ABOUT.  And maybe he gets so messed up and suspicious that he stops going to the barber altogether, and his hair grows and grows, and finally he’s just got this total mess of a rat’s nest on his head, until maybe he eventually can’t stand it anymore and shaves it all off and ends up bald.  Same as me.

There you have it, ACFBE.  Problem solved.  Garrosh comes out ahead of the curve yet again.  Boom.

 

Hail, Warchief!

I’m studying Orcish History at school and need to write an essay. I thought I’d write about the Red Pox and it’s impact, and I thought it would be neat if I could quote you on the subject, if you don’t mind.

I know it was a terrible illness, but there aren’t any first-hand records that I’ve been able to find. What was it like to live with the Red Pox? Do you remember much from those years? Did you notice any major differences between Orcish society as a whole and the way Orcs lived in Garadar? Pretty much anything you can remember would be great.

Thanks!

–Anonymous Scholar, Orgrimmar

Okay, so at least NOW I have some idea of why everybody’s got the Red Pox on the brain this week.  So okay, fine, just this once I’ll talk about it, seeing as I’m probably one of the only Red Pox survivors a lot of these kids will have the chance to meet.

It sucked.

What, you wanted more?  FINE.

I’m not going to waste time going over the symptoms, because there must already be records of that, and I’m pretty sure neither one of us wants to spend our lunch break reviewing my childhood vomiting habits.  But yeah, I had it as a kid, and even setting aside the physical suffering of it all, I can’t stress enough how much of an effect it had on the culture of Garadar.  I mean, you asked if there were any major differences between Garadar society and orcish society as a whole?  Fuck, what WASN’T different?  The Red Pox hung over our whole culture.  It touched everything.  We had whole generations who were born and died – prematurely, granted – under the bane of that thing.  That was the worst part of it, really – the sense of resignation it left us with.  It was like, for a lot of us, there was this sense that the Red Pox came for our grandparents, and then it came for our parents, and now it’s going to come for us.

Over the years, our shaman kept working to find a cure, and every so often there would be a glimmer of hope that maybe they had something.  But then there would always be some disaster that would undo it.  After a while that became part of the gloom and doom of it – the shaman would come up with a new possibility, and you never quite stopped hoping, but deep down you were thinking, “Okay, let’s see what fucks it up THIS time.”  Even when they finally did find a cure, and the suffering could finally end, a lot of us couldn’t even quite believe it was really happening.

Adding to all this, by the way, was the fact that over in Telaar, the draenei had their own parallel illness going on for a while.  It was called the lank distemper – or the “Lanks,” as a lot of folks ended up calling it.  Basically an infection that caused severe dehydration and loss of appetite, so the afflicted would wither down to these scrawny shadows of their former selves.  Sometimes the two diseases would flare up as if they had a contest going to see which one could kill more victims.  Which made for some miserable times for everybody involved.  Believe me, for anyone who was living through it, you do NOT want to get them started on the whole Lanks / Red Pox rivalry.

Is that enough?  Are you happy yet?  Or do I need to relive the time the conjured healing sphere rolled between Bullrok’s legs and into the lake, too?

 

Dear Garrosh;

Winter Veil is here! Time for a great orc cheer! Lok’tar!

I am so looking forward to making cookies and milk for Greatfather Winter this year with my new cooking skills I learned from Pilgrim’s Bounty holiday. I may even add some lemon squares to add some extra favor. I’m really hoping this year he’ll give me a ferocious armored bloodwing with exotic leather saddle for riding. That would be so cool! (Sigh, I’ll probably end up with another copper racer though.)

What are you hoping for Winter Veil this year, Mr. Garrosh sir?

Varian on a spire tree?

Blood and thunder!

–Ruekie, Shaman-Still-in-Training

PS: Greatfather Winter looks awful familiar, but I can’t quite figure it out. Kinda like Mr. Saurfang, but that would be impossible…I think. (Nothing is impossible with Mr. Saurfang.)

PPS: Winter Veil holiday is a great time for eating. Try no to eat too many lemon squares, though, sir. It doesn’t take much to make your muscles look like marshmallows.  D: 

Bye!

Wait, Ruekie AGAIN?  When the hell is she writing all these letters?  Fuck, maybe I should hire HER as a scribe, if this is how fast she can crank out pages.  Anyway.

So also, before we get into anything else…hang on, you want a BLOODWING for Winter Veil?  A frigging BAT?  All of a sudden, a WYVERN isn’t good enough for little miss tornado-pants?  You’ve seen Mortimer in action, up close and personal, and you’ve decided, “Nah, let’s give the universe a sporting chance – keep the wings, take away all the parts that really make the wyvern badass, and replace them with a giant blind rat”?  Are you KIDDING me?

I already answered the part about what I want for Winter Veil a few letters up, so no need to get into that again.  And I’m not going to dignify the lemon squares thing with a response.  But I have to comment on that thing you said about Greatfather Winter.  You know, one thing that people always say about Greatfather Winter is that there’s no way the guy could possibly fly all around the world and deliver presents to everyone in just one night.  Well, I think you might have found the one gaping hole in that theory.  So, next time you find yourself in an argument with some skeptic who doesn’t want to believe in Greatfather Winter, just unload this one on them:

“I’m telling you, there isn’t enough time for Greatfather Winter to do all that!  It isn’t physically possible!”

“What if Greatfather Winter is really Saurfang?”

“Oh… Um… Well then.”

 

Yo Mon!

I hear you had de red pox, mon. On dat game Earth Online dey has a disees call chicken pox. Es dat de same? (What do chickens haf to do wit dat?)

Dey say in dat game, once you hav it, you cannot get et again. Yah, mon, you are now invisible to dat disees, like de lich king’s horse.  Dat is good news!

Cheers, mon!

–Bobbette, Out der somewhere

…

Okay.

So.

I am beginning to get the very distinct impression that I may be getting trolled.

 

Hey mon!

What’s dis I be hearin’ about da Red Pox breakin’ out again?  It be all anybody be talkin’ ’bout dese days!  If you get it, does dat mean ya turns red?  I remember seein’ some red orcs back in Hellfire Peninsula, mon, was dey havin’ da Red Pox?  Dey go from green ta red?  Don’t get me wrong, mon, I don’t want nobody gettin’ sick, but if dere be anudda outbreak, look on da bright side – all dat red an’ green togetha be lookin’ nice an’ festive for Winter Veil!

–Bob, Shado-pan Monastery

I hate you.  I really, truly hate you.

 

Excuse me, Warchief, I write to you from Dustwallow marsh, I came here to see if I could find test subjects for a new flamethrower, and found something much more interesting, there is this mysterious woman on the road to the ruined theramore (hah!) and she seems to be able to send me back in time to look at theramore and the swamp before theramore was destroyed, I went to sleep at mudsprocket and woke up in present day. She seems upset that I was killing humans as soon as I was there, and refuses to send me again.

–Ritaba, Mudsprocket 

Wait, wait, hang on.  Let me get this straight.  You’re telling me that there’s someone hanging around Dustwallow Marsh sending people back in time to Theramore before we blew it up?  As in, making it possible to totally sidestep our whole victory and interact with the place like it was before?  That… fucking hell, THAT DEFEATS THE WHOLE POINT OF US BLOWING IT UP IF YOU CAN FUCKING DO THAT!

You know, this has the Bronze Dragonflight written all over it — or at least it WOULD, if it weren’t for the fact that this is PRECISELY THE SAME KIND OF SHIT they they’ve been recruiting people to PREVENT for years now, and by the way didn’t I just march through like 50 miles of steaming shit over their whole “integrity of the past” deal last year?!  But hey, apparently it’s NO BIG DEAL when you’re talking about Theramore, right?  SURE!  WHY NOT?  Hey, how about I zip on back to the past and start fucking with shit too, because I GUESS THAT’S ON THE MENU NOW, RIGHT?

Fucking dragons.  FUCKING TIME TRAVEL!

UGH!

 

I have been reading the history of Pandaria, and discovered something no one has bothered to take note of, seven burdens of Shaohao, the story of how the last emperor of Pandaria defeated the six sha and locked them away in a poor fashion (He couldn’t have kept them from causing havok any time someone gets cranky?), and there are older writings indicating a beast with seven heads, perhaps there is a seventh sha never recorded, it could be the key to controlling them.

–Yinsun, Vale of Eternal Blossoms

Now see, THIS is an example of some research that might actually be useful.  You might be on to something there, Yinsun.  It DOES seem kind of fishy that we have this story about Shaohao and his seven burdens, and this seven-headed thingamabob, and then we only have six sha that we know about.  It’s definitely worth considering whether we’ve got one more sha on the loose that nobody’s thought of.  (Hell, I was even bouncing ideas about this around with some people on Twitter a little while ago.)

For anybody keeping score at home, we might as well start with the basics.  Right now, we’ve got six sha accounted for: the Sha of Doubt, the Sha of Anger, the Sha of Despair, the Sha of Violence, the Sha of Hatred, and the Sha of Fear.

So, okay, let’s suppose there’s one more out there.  Since the sha we know about all seem to be named for pretty major negative emotions or vices…hmm…let’s see, what do we have left for major negatives?

There could be a Sha of Greed, I suppose.  Although…I mean, we have goblins with us, and I have to figure if there were a Sha of Greed, people like Grizzle Gearslip would be setting the fucker off left and right.  The Sha of Jealousy, maybe?  Makes sense on paper, but again, you’d figure we’d be having outbreaks all over the place, seeing as we’ve got a base full of people who’ve been watching me stroll around day after day.  And you KNOW the peeps get jelly when they feast their eyes to the pure awesome that is yours truly, amirite?

So we’re kind of running out of major vices to pair up with the missing sha.  What else is there?  Free-associate, Garrosh… hmm… the Sha of Gluttony?  The Sha of Sloth?  The Sha of Anteater?

Hang on…I think that line of thought took a wrong turn on me somehow.

Maybe we’re going about this wrong.  Time to think outside the box a little.  For all we know, this last sha could be kind of a niche sha, something more specific and less…well…grandiose.  Which might explain why this one might have been able to fly under the radar all this time.  So, let’s see, what else could be out there as the sneakier, subtler bane of our existence…

• The Sha of Social Awkwardness
• The Sha of Small Talk
• The Sha of Poor Table Manners
• The Sha of Bad Penmanship
• The Sha of Bad Spelling
• The Sha of Typos (possibly related to above)
• The Sha of Not Picking Up After Your Wyvern
• The Sha of Repetition
• The Sha of Redundancy
• The Sha of Telegraphing Bad Jokes
• The Sha of Walking Really Slowly in Front of People at the Mall
• The Sha of Paper Towels with Inexplicably Strong Perforation So You Try to Snap Off One Square and End Up Yanking Out Half the Roll
• The Sha of Telling the Same Story Over and Over and Over Again Even Though Yes I Already Know How You Met Eitrigg Okay Tirion

Okay, you know what?  This is going nowhere fast.

Wait, wait, hang on a second… I could swear I HAVE seen another sha somewhere.

HOLY FUCKING HELL THAT’S IT!  THE SHA OF HAPPINESS!  Come to think of it, I even remember seeing this fucker on Twitter!  Fuckin’ A, I KNEW all those annoyingly happy assholes like Mylune were up to no good!  IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.

 

Okay, that’s going to do it for this time, but keep those letters coming.  You guys really stepped up to the plate with this batch of letters, so you know what that means — THE BAR HAS BEEN RAISED.  So keep it going, and I’ll try to be back with more wise words soon.  Handy form included:

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Δ

Spazzle Speaks: Tours of Duty

A little Earth Online interlude while Garrosh spins his yarn from Pandaria…

 

You have logged on.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Interesting.  What kind of research, Leslie?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  hi baddie

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  Hey mon.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  its really pretty technical

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  HI MRBADCRUMBLE

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hey everyone

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  probably pretty boring if its not what you do

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  hey

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Greetings, Spazzle.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  i can try to explain some of it to you if you think it would help.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hey

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Oh I’m sure it’s fascinating.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  lol prof

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  I just got back from the echo isles a little while ago

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  i’ve got a handle on it, prof, its my job after all

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  If you’d care to elaborate, of course.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Certainly no intrusion intended if you prefer not to.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  working on Jaina again?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  Tanks for checkin’ up on it for me, mon.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  well yes, but i would imagine understanding the nielas vector hypothesis would be part of your job, too, and we’ve already established you don’t really have a handle on that.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Everyone needs a hobby.  ^_^

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  omg i do too

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  it’s fine

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  u think your right about everything

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  I had some business down there anyway

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  oh hardly.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  i know my nielas vectors, though.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  hey

[Lorthemar] has logged on.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  look, i supervise mages for a living, i would think i know about nielas vectors

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  i would think you’d know about them, too.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  so see?  i’m not always right.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  ugh whatever

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  hi lor

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  just had to be careful not to be seen by any kor’kron on the way

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin]  Hey, Lor mon.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  I STILL WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU KNOW ALL THIS STUFF PROF

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  i’ve said before, i read a lot.

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Greetings, all!

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  brb

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  You run into any trouble?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  HI LOR

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Good evening, Lor’themar.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  not really

[Guild][Lorthemar]  And how is everyone this fine evening?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hey lor’themar

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Good evening.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  doing ok

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  How are you settling in on…the Isle of Thunder, is it?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  just missing my baby

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Yes indeed.

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Not badly at all.  Setting up took some doing, but we had some good help on hand.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  there are more kor’kron in razor hill than there used to be

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  AWWW

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  It’s good you were able to get your internet connection working from there.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I know our…esteemed Warchief has been having stability issues.

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Oh?  I thought you two sat next to each other while you played.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Goodness, I just reread the last thing I said, and I must say it gave me quite the chuckle.  ^_^

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  I think after they rebuilt the inn, they used it as an excuse to ramp up security

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  not right now

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  At any rate, I know I would be lost without my connection.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  I’ve noticed you really seem to be online, like, ALL the time

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  WE USUALLY DO

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  i’m away on business for a little while

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  I don’t think I’ve logged on without you being here

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Well, that’s partly because, being undead, I don’t strictly need to sleep.

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Oh, I see

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Which frees up lots of online time.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  don’t you have work you need to do in the undercity, though?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  Garrosh give ’em enough time, they be makin’ lots more places “secure.”

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  so for right now the game is a way for us to still hang out together a little

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Yes, but I just take it with me everywhere.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Some of the warlocks worked out a way to project a likeness of my computer screen onto a writing tablet I carry around – an Eye Pad of Kilrogg, they call it.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  IT MAKES ME GLAD I STARTED PLAYING THIS GAME

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  anyway, I got down there without much trouble

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  The name, I will admit, is inelegant.  I may have marketing give it another pass.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  EVEN IF I’M STILL KIND OF A NOOB

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  What’s da word from Trall?

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  Ji?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  its ok, sweetie, being a newbie might be a nice change of pace for you

[Guild][Lorthemar]  You know, it’s a funny coincidence, I’m doing some traveling for work as well.

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin]  I know how dat goes, mon.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  all clear so far

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  LOR’THEMAR

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Yes?

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin]  Dis game be a way for me ta talk ta people too.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  nobody seems to have noticed anything going on down there

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  oh wow small world

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  -Don’t- say any more about what you’re doing.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Improbable though it would seem, I don’t think she realizes who you really are.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  which is kind of weird, considering it’s been months since they took out the kor’kron occupation

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin]  Been tryin’ ta not talk too much fa real what wit I got a nasty sore troat dese days, mon.

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Yeah, don’t remind me.  I get that a lot.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Well, yes, there’s that.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  i hope you feel better, bobby

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  While Garrosh still be in Pandaria, Eitrigg be da one mindin’ da store in Orgrimmar

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  But you’re also wasting a potential tactical advantage if you give away too much around her.

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] has earned the achievement [Grand Central Station]!

[EdwardBear | Ji] has earned the achievement [Grand Central Station]!

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  He be no friend a da changes Malkorok been makin’ in da Kor’kron.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  yeah

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin]  Hey, grats, mon!

[Officer][Lorthemar]  How do you mean?

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  I just wish things would get back to normal again

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  or more normal at least

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Congratulations, all!

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  sorry, leslie was running me and puff through an instance

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  THANKS DEAR

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  …Really?

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Really what?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  my pleasure sweetie =)

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  i didn’t see your tell till just now

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  Dey gonna get worse before dey get better, mon.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  yeah

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  ty leslie

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  it’s ok

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Has…nobody told you who Proudleslie is?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  yw eddie

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  I haven’t…

[Officer][Lorthemar]  No, who is she?

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  did you find anything out?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  OH WOW ONE MORE BUBBLE AND I’LL LEVEL TOO

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  oh boy

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Proudleslie is Jaina Proudmoore.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  I talked to thrall, yeah

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  next thing u know your going to be all grown up!

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  = )

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  had to be careful not to give away too much

[Officer][Lorthemar]  …

[Officer][Lorthemar]  She’s…she’s…  WHY??

[Officer][Lorthemar]  WHY would we let her be in the guild?

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  what did he say?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  then i can get you all geared up and ready for big people adventures!

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  Sylvanas convinced Garrosh to let her stay.

[Officer][Lorthemar]  By convincing him we’re living in Upside Down Crazy Land??

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  the easiest place for you to reach the earthen ring is at the twilight citadel

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  I APPRECIATE ALL THE TIME YOU’VE BEEN SPENDING HELPING ME LEVEL

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  most of their heavy hitters are still over at the maelstrom, but they usually don’t let just anyone over there

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  No, Regent-Lord, by pointing out that keeping her close, without her knowing who -we- are, puts us in a position to ply her for information that might be of use to us.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  how’s that been working out for you, by the way?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  aww, anything for my baby

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  ok

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Hush now.  It’s an ongoing project.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  At any rate, Lor’themar, please try to be careful what you say

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  so your best bet is to head down to the twilight highlands

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  i kinda like getting to take care of you here after everything you do for me

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  MY PLEASURE, M’LADY

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  they’ve been working on setting up again there since the twilight’s hammer was driven out

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  ❤

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  what’s that?

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Ugh, fine.

[Officer][Lorthemar]  This is not good for my rage.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  aww thats my lil puffy magic dragon  =)

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  what’s what?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  = )

[Officer][Lorthemar]  And of course Garrosh took the anger management counselor with him to Pandaria.

[Officer][Lorthemar]  To spite me, I’ll bet you anything.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  plus did i mention you look sexy as a fireman?

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  the twilight’s hammer

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  rawr  😉

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  To be fair, keeping an anger management specialist close to Garrosh is probably a wise move.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  she’s kind of got you there

[Officer][Lorthemar]  *looks in guild chat*

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]  long story

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  i wish i could adequately impress upon you the sheer magnitude of the fact that you’re making *me* want to vomit.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  oh boo prof, havent u ever been in love before

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]  last year’s bad guys

[Officer][Lorthemar]  I can’t believe this woman is beating me.

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Anyway…

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  oh

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  as a matter of fact.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  what happened?

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Let’s talk about something else before I get too annoyed.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  the scourge.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  oh  =(

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  at any rate, i should log for now, i have some packing to do.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  i really don’t know if it’s going to accomplish much going to them, though

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin]  Be seein’ ya, mon!

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  BYE PROF

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Hmm, speaking of which, do you know anything about what’s going on with Faranell?

[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged off.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  sorry if i brought up bad memories prof

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  it’s worth a try

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I was going to ask you, actually.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  blah missed him

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  All I know is that he’s going to Orgrimmar at the request of your Lady Liadrin.

[Officer][Lorthemar]  That’s all I know as well.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  if anyone will have any ideas about what happened to mokvar, it would be them

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Liadrin told me she was requesting Faranell from you, but was rather dodgy about details.

[Officer][Lorthemar]  I’d assumed she would have told you more.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  i hate to say it, but i think we might already know what happened to mokvar

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Not particularly, only that she had need of his alchemical skills for some of her work with the Dalaran refugees.

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Don’t they have apothecaries in Orgrimmar?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  Tons over in the Valley of Spirits.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I raised that point myself.  All she would say was that it’s a matter of some delicacy and she would prefer to call on someone she knows.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  it’s possible mokvar is really gone

[Officer][Lorthemar]  It’s exhausting having our supposed underlings running around on their own like this.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Preaching to the choir, Regent-Lord.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  if he is, and i go, then he won’t be any more gone, and all i’ll have done is waste some of my own time

[Officer][Lorthemar]  We need better minions.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  We really do.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  if he’s not, and i don’t go, then it might cost us something more valuable

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  the only mistake would be not to act

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Hmm, guild chat is quiet.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  believe me, I hope you find something.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  I’m just trying not to get my hopes up

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Jaina and Kalecgos are probably talking in tells.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  well either way, i should be back soon

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  i should get going

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  me too

[Officer][Lorthemar]  I wonder what they’re talking about that’s so secret.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  talk to you soon

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  good luck

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Probably you.

You have logged off.

Spazzle Speaks: The Goblin is Always Greener on the Other Side of Guild Chat

After Garrosh put up that guild chat log yesterday, I thought it might be helpful to see things from another perspective…

You have logged on.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  hi baddie

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  check the appendix, then.

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  hi mrbadcrumble

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  it should be on a right-hand page, under a map if i recall.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  Hey, mon.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hey everyone

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Good evening, Spazzle.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hey sylvanas

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  ok ok fine, i know better than to argue with you about these things

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  hey, how are you feeling?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  I DONT WANT TO IMAGINE HOW MUCH TIME YOU MUST HAVE SPENT IN LIBRARIES STUDYING THIS STUFF PROF

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  Better, mon.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  should I even ask what they’re arguing about this time?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  if only you knew.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  Chen say pretty soon I be healed up enough ta be back on ma feet an outta dis monastery.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Honestly, I’m not even sure how they got started.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  that’s good

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  ah

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  seriously you must be some kind of master wizard with everything you seem to know

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  Can’t happen soon enough, mon – don’ like dis sittin’ around.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  not really.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  so what are you working on?  are we about to get achievement spammed as usual?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  i’m not particularly powerful as a caster; i just have a good handle on theory.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  yeah but you have to take care of yourself

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  YOU’D PROBABLY BE A GOOD TEACHER THEN

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Nothing imminent.  I’m laying the groundwork for some longer-term projects at the moment.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  Any news from Trall?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  maybe thats why his name is professor! =)

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  meh.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  i think of it more as “professor” in the “mad scientist” sense.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  not last i heard

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  which is fitting, considering i spend most of my time in a laboratory developing biochemical agents of mass destruction.

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged on.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  haha yea right, your being sarcastic again

You whispered to [LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]:  have you talked to lorthemar?

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  When ya see ’im let ’im know I be dere as soon as I can, an den we deal wit’ Garrosh.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  drat, i’ve been caught.

[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] whispered:  Speak the devil’s name…

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  hi pwn

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin]  Hey OmgipwneduMon!

[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] whispered:  Oops, mistell.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  Speak a da devil, mon.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Hey

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hey boss

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Greetings, dear Warchief.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  is your connection any better pwn?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I guess we’ll find out in a minute

You whispered to [LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]:  k good

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  lol

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged off.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  i really don’t like all this sneaking around

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin]  Haha!

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  omg

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  now see, for instance, i can’t work -that- kind of magic.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  i just deploy verbal irony; i can’t conjure it up in actual events.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  Ya won’ need to much longer.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  i swear i didnt do that!

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged on.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  Soon we’ll be makin’ our move.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  UGH

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin]  Leslie!  Do it again, mon!

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  WB PWN

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  i didnt do anything!

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I take it your connection is none too improved since last time, Warchief?

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin]  You put da connection voodoo on him, mon!

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]:  still using the network grizzle set up for you?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, apparently

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Also that Bob guy is rubbing me the wrong way already

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered:  Yeah

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  On the topic of what you’ve been doing, Leslie, has work continued to be hectic?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  He’d better watch it before I end up stabbing him in the neck

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]:  honestly, you might as well hire a couple extra tauren to send up smoke signals for your wifi

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  You were starting to say, but ended up being sidetracked by ProfHubert.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Speaking of me stabbing people, by the way, did you manage to get Lori straightened out?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  BTW COULD I GET A GUILD INVITE FOR MY FRIEND

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  sure puff, just whisper me the name

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  ugh not really

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  If you’re referring to leadership of the guild, I think I’ve convinced him to be reasonable and pass it back

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered:  HER NAME IS LIVINGREDGIRL

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  He was quite agitated before.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  You know, not for anything, but didn’t we used to ask people to APPLY to this guild once upon a time?

You whispered to [HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]:  seriously?

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered:  ?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  does it really matter?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  just some office politics i’m trying to stay out of mostly

You whispered to [HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]:  don’t you think that’s going to be a little confusing?

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered:  Y

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I don’t particularly care about his moods

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  does anyone in this guild actually do anything other than sit around in guild chat?

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged off.

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  i do!

You whispered to [HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]:  because of how similar that is to LivinDeadGrl?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  me to!  just got my set bonus last night in fact

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  i’m level 52 now!

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin]  I mostly just hang out here in da capital cities, mon, an’ stir tings up in trade chat!

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered:  OH I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THAT

[Lorthemar] has logged on.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  grats eddie

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  hi lorthemar

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered:  SHOULD I GET HER TO REROLL?

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin]  Somebody gotta be da resident smartass in dis guild, right?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  hi lor!

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  um, i have some bad news for you…

You whispered to [HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]:  no, she already has this toon… I just hope she doesn’t get a lot of mis-tells

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Greetings, all!

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hey lor

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Hello, Lor’themar.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  lol

You whispered to [HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]:  I’ll send her an invite

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Hail, Spazzle.  Dark Lady.

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] whispered:  TY

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  yea bobby, prof has seniority on you

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  if only you knew.

You have invited [LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] to the guild.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Lor’themar, I should probably warn you straight away…

[LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] has joined the guild.

[LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza] has been promoted to the rank Recruit.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  he spends most of his time in-game making sarcastic comments to people

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Welcome, LivingRedGirl!

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  welcome red!

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged on.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  there you go!  welcome to the guild!

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  in point of fact, that’s not actually specific to in-game.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Thank you all

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  lol

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  wb pwn

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So as I was saying. I don’t care if Ponytail is happy about it as long as he manages to get his panties unbunched long enough to hand over guild control

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Garrosh was just on and will likely be back momentarily, so please try to humor him.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  Garrosh be runnin’ outta friends fast.

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered:  Oh and by the way

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Hello, Garrosh…

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Oh drat.  Two seconds too slow hitting return.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh and LOOK who’s here now

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  yeah, but I’m *one* of his friends

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Oh goodness, LivingRedGirl, you look almost just like me!

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered:  Do you want to explain to me why I never heard a word from you about the whole Mokvar fiasco?

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Haha looks like it yes

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]:  um

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Good evening, Warchief.

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered:  YES UM

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  At any rate, Leslie…

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, yeah, good evening, good morning, happy new year, whatever

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]:  I guess I figured you were already getting updates from people more important than me

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I know office politics can be precarious, Leslie.  I’m not unfamiliar with them myself.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Are you ready to stop fucking around and put me back in place as guild leader?

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]:  and I was probably still hoping there would be some explanation for everything

[Officer][Lorthemar]  While I still have my objections to the way you’ve been conducting yourself toward me and my people, Garrosh…

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  Ya ever stop ta ask yaself why, mon?

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered:  At this point I don’t particularly CARE about why

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  mostly just a coworker trying to drag me into his conflicts

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Or am I going to have to smack a bitch up first?

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]:  look, I understand why you’re doing what you’re doing

[Officer][Lorthemar]  …case in point.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  The bitch being you, by the way

[Officer][Lorthemar]  *sigh*

[Officer][Lorthemar]  In any case…I don’t want to hurt the guild over our personal squabbles.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  ugh hang on

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Ah, interesting…

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  That’s refreshingly non-suicidal for you, Eyepatch

[Officer][Lorthemar]  So, yes, here.

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]:  with the mokvar thing

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has been promoted to the rank Guild Leader.

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]:  it’s just hard for me to accept a friend going off the deep end, is all

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  GRATS PWN

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged off.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  ok that could have been ugly

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Is there anything particular to this conflict your coworker is trying to involve you in, Leslie?

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin]  Dis is way too entertainin’.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  anyway, like I was saying

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Or is it more along the lines of your typical…in-office sparring?

[Officer][Lorthemar]  I almost feel bad for him.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  i tried to warn him about getting his network set up

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  1 SEC SHE HAD TO AFK

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  but oh no, he sees a goblin and just figures “catch-all tech genius”

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Ah, I see.  No rush.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  since it appears most of my best sources of entertainment are away or disconnecting, i suppose i should go get some work done

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  look, I understand why you’re doing what you’re doing

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Be well, ProfHubert!

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  later prof

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  in my absence, bob, feel free to take over as interim satirist

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin]  Hah, tanks mon.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  just try not to stage some kind of sardonic coup while i’m away

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin]  Haha, no promises, mon.

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  bye prof

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged on.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle]  bye prof

[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged off.

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin]  Welcome back, mon!  We missed ya!

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  WB AGAIN PWN

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  and I’m helping thrall because, well, he’s thrall, and I don’t think it’s right the way the trolls are being treated

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Welcome back Omgipwnedurface

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  UGH UGH UGH

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  wish I could do something to fix it, chief

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, I know

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  but I think you may be kind of stuck with it until you get back or orgrimmar

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  In all honesty, Warchief, the fact that you’re having such connection difficulties at the moment may be a reason not to resume control of the guild just yet…

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I’m not sure there’s much to be gained from a guild leader who’s unable to be online to tend to the responsibilities of leadership.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  but that’s as far as I can go

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, I hate to say it, but you might have a point

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  And frankly it’s getting way too annoying trying to stay on

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I can well imagine.

You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]:  I won’t stab him in the back

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So yeah, let me do this

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] has been promoted to the rank Guild Leader.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  GRATS MRBADCRUMBLE

[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin]  Hey, grats, mon!

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Does leadership always change hands so often in the guild

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  whoa seriously?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  NOT REALLY

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  Ya got ta listen to ya conscience, mon.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  He already has control of the web site and he’s got the best handle on all the nuts and bolts

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  WELL MAYBE LATELY YEAH

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So just as well to let him mind the shop for now

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  A wise decision, of course, sir.

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Congratulations, Spazzle.

[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered:  I hope it’ll let ya sleep if tings go bad.

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered:  Also because, even with the Mokvar thing, you’re the only one of these clowns I actually trust

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  thanks lor

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Okay, so…

You whispered to [Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]:  thanks chief

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I’m going to empty my mail just in case, and then log off here before something else pisses me off

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Of course, sir.

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered:  And I get why you kept quiet

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  It’s gotten quiet

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered:  But let me make this clear

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  THAT USUALLY MEANS THE OFFICERS ARE TALKING

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered:  Mokvar is dead to me

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Oh

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered:  And if I ever find out where he’s run off to, he’s a dead man

[Guild][Lorthemar]  I know it can be a bit unnerving.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  hey

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] whispered:  Anyway…later

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  hi spazzle

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  you haven’t heard anything from mokvar, have you?

[Guild][Lorthemar]  I wasn’t sure what to make of it myself when I first joined the guild.

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has logged off.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Are you new

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  not since he ran off

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  why?

[Guild][Lorthemar]  …

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  oh hi lorthemar

[Guild][Lorthemar]  No.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  this is bad

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  did you join recently?

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  this is really bad

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Me

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  what?

[Guild][Lorthemar]  …

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  no, i could swear i’ve seen you before

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  I only just joined a few minutes ago

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  you remember the recall totem I told you about?  the one he left me to hold?

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  lorthemar seems new though

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  yes

[Guild][Lorthemar]  I…

[Officer][Livindeadgrl | Sylvanas]  Perhaps you just have one of those faces?

[Guild][Lorthemar]  I believe I need to log off and step away from the game for a bit.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  the spirit link that a shaman makes with these totems makes them give off a green glow

[Guild][Lorthemar]  It’s not good for my rage.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  it jsut went out

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  i’m sorry if i upset you, lorthemar

[Lorthemar] has logged off.

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  oh bother

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  oh

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  back

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  that’s bad?

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  yeah

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  sorry

[Guild][Livindeadgrl | Sylvanas]  Welcome back, Leslie.

[Guild][Livindeadgrl | Sylvanas]  Now where were we?

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  the only reason the totem would go out like that is if mokvar were dead

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  sorry livindead, i cant right now

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  but he can just wake up again, right?  like last time?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  i just came back to say bye and log

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  theres stuff happening here rl and i need to go

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  no, not like ‘waiting for my ankh to kick in’ dead

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  and so does puffy

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  like for real dead

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  like right now

[HonaleePuff | Kalecgos] has logged off.

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  oh dear

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle]  actually i need to run too

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  I need to go

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Is everything all right, Spazzle?

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  I have to check on this

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle]  no

You have logged off.

I hate wireless networks

Here’s another example why.

You have logged on.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  haha yea right, your being sarcastic again

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  drat, i’ve been caught.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  hi pwn

[Guild][Bob]  Hey OmgipwneduMon!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Hey

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hey boss

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Greetings, dear Warchief.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  is your connection any better pwn?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I guess we’ll find out in a minute

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  lol

You have been disconnected.

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You have logged on.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  UGH

[Guild][Bob]  Leslie!  Do it again, mon!

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  WB PWN

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  i didnt do anything!

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I take it your connection is none too improved since last time, Warchief?

[Guild][Bob]  You put da connection voodoo on him, mon!

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  still using the network grizzle set up for you?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, apparently

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Also that Bob guy is rubbing me the wrong way already

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  Yeah

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  On the topic of what you’ve been doing, Leslie, has work continued to be hectic?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  He’d better watch it before I end up stabbing him in the neck

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  honestly, you might as well hire a couple extra tauren to send up smoke signals for your wifi

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  You were starting to say, but ended up being sidetracked by ProfHubert.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Speaking of me stabbing people, by the way, did you manage to get Lori straightened out?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  BTW COULD I GET A GUILD INVITE FOR MY FRIEND

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  sure puff, just whisper me the name

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  ugh not really

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  If you’re referring to leadership of the guild, I think I’ve convinced him to be reasonable and pass it back

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  He was quite agitated before.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  You know, not for anything, but didn’t we used to ask people to APPLY to this guild once upon a time?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  does it really matter?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  just some office politics i’m trying to stay out of mostly

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I don’t particularly care about his moods

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  does anyone in this guild actually do anything other than sit around in guild chat?

You have been disconnected.

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You have logged on.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  there you go!  welcome to the guild!

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  in point of fact, that’s not actually specific to in-game.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl]  Thank you all

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  lol

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  wb pwn

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So as I was saying.  I don’t care if Ponytail is happy about it as long as he manages to get his panties unbunched long enough to hand over guild control

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Garrosh was just on and will likely be back momentarily, so please try to humor him.

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  Oh and by the way

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Hello, Garrosh…

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Oh drat.  Two seconds too slow hitting return.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh and LOOK who’s here now

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Oh goodness, LivingRedGirl, you look almost just like me!

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  Do you want to explain to me why I never heard a word from you about the whole Mokvar fiasco?

[Guild][LivingRedGirl]  Haha looks like it yes

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  um

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Good evening, Warchief.

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  YES UM

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  At any rate, Leslie…

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, yeah, good evening, good morning, happy new year, whatever

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  I guess I figured you were already getting updates from people more important than me

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I know office politics can be precarious, Leslie.  I’m not unfamiliar with them myself.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Are you ready to stop fucking around and put me back in place as guild leader?

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  and I was probably still hoping there would be some explanation for everything

[Officer][Lorthemar]  While I still have my objections to the way you’ve been conducting yourself toward me and my people, Garrosh…

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  At this point I don’t particularly CARE about why

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  mostly just a coworker trying to drag me into his conflicts

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Or am I going to have to smack a bitch up first?

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  look, I understand why you’re doing what you’re doing

[Officer][Lorthemar]  …case in point.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  The bitch being you, by the way

[Officer][Lorthemar]  *sigh*

[Officer][Lorthemar]  In any case…I don’t want to hurt the guild over our personal squabbles.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Ah, interesting…

[Officer][Lorthemar]  So, yes, here.

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  with the mokvar thing

[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has been promoted to the rank Guild Leader.

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  it’s just hard for me to accept a friend going off the deep end, is all

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  GRATS PWN

You have been disconnected.

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You have logged on.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle]  bye prof

[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged off.

[Guild][Bob]  Welcome back, mon!  We missed ya!

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  WB AGAIN PWN

[Guild][LivingRedGirl]  Welcome back Omgipwnedurface

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  UGH UGH UGH

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  wish I could do something to fix it, chief

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, I know

[Lorthemar] whispered:  Now that we’ve settled the guild issue, Warchief…

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  but I think you may be kind of stuck with it until you get back or orgrimmar

[Lorthemar] whispered:  Well…can we talk man to man?

You whispered to [Lorthemar]:  Yeah okay

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  In all honesty, Warchief, the fact that you’re having such connection difficulties at the moment may be a reason not to resume control of the guild just yet…

[Lorthemar] whispered:  Well, concerning the goings-on in Pandaria…

You whispered to [Lorthemar]:  Actually, I don’t know.  CAN we?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I’m not sure there’s much to be gained from a guild leader who’s unable to be online to tend to the responsibilities of leadership.

[Lorthemar] whispered:  …

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, I hate to say it, but you might have a point

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  And frankly it’s getting way too annoying trying to stay on

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I can well imagine.

[Lorthemar] whispered:  Never mind.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So yeah, let me do this

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] has been promoted to the rank Guild Leader.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  GRATS MRBADCRUMBLE

[Guild][Bob]  Hey, grats, mon!

You whispered to [Lorthemar]:  Whatever, Lori

[Guild][LivingRedGirl]  Does leadership always change hands so often in the guild

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  whoa seriously?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  NOT REALLY

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  He already has control of the web site and he’s got the best handle on all the nuts and bolts

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  WELL MAYBE LATELY YEAH

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So just as well to let him mind the shop for now

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  A wise decision, of course, sir.

[Officer][Lorthemar]  Congratulations, Spazzle.

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  Also because, even with the Mokvar thing, you’re the only one of these clowns I actually trust

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  thanks lor

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Okay, so…

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispers:  thanks chief

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I’m going to empty my mail just in case, and then log off here before something else pisses me off

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Of course, sir.

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  And I get why you kept quiet

[Guild][LivingRedGirl]  It’s gotten quiet

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  But let me make this clear

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  THAT USUALLY MEANS THE OFFICERS ARE TALKING

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  Mokvar is dead to me

[Guild][LivingRedGirl]  Oh

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  And if I ever find out where he’s run off to, he’s a dead man

[Guild][Lorthemar]  I know it can be a bit unnerving.

You whispered to [MrBadCrumble | Spazzle]  Anyway…later

[Guild][Lorthemar]  I wasn’t sure what to make of it myself when I first joined the guild.

You have logged off.

Mutiny!

Since we finished with Shan Kien a few days ago, I’ve been back at Domination Point, partly checking in on things there with Warlord Bloodhilt and General Nazgrim, and partly giving myself a break from Baine and Lor’themotherfucker.  Maybe if I leave them alone with each other, they’ll have no option but to bitch and moan at each other until one of them reaches bitch-and-moan critical mass and spontaneously combusts.  Not likely, I know, but it’s a little dream I have.

As part of my much-needed recuperation time, I finally managed to get Earth Online set up on my computer here.  The internet here at the base is still kind of spotty – I’ve been having to pick my spots as far as when I can blog for the entire time I’ve been here – but Grizzle Gearslip tells me the connection should be stable enough now that I shouldn’t have any trouble getting some gaming in.

 

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[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  what about blurry vision?  slurred speech?

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  oh hey

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Well well, look who we have here!

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  no

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  it’s probably not one of ours, then.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  I hope you feel better, ji

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Hey people

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  You sense of humor is, as always, most amusing, Doctor.

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  anyway, does anyone have a level 30 something they’d like to team up with?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  But you should be wary of making such jokes, as they may only encourage some to believe we’re actually pursuing such untoward efforts as the creation of plague.

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  actually never mind, i should probably get going

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  see you later, ji

[EdwardBear | Ji] has logged off.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  yeah, i can’t imagine where anyone would get that idea about us.

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  has garona gotten there yet?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Huh this is weird…

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  What is, Warchief?

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[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  do you think he got mad and logged?

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  oh hey, Garrosh

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  welcome back.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Well, I suppose we’ll see presently, won’t we.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Ugh

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Thanks, Doc

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  did you see my tell?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Is everything all right, Garrosh?

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  Yeah

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  I just didn’t get a chance to answer

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I think so

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  what happened?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I’m not sure, my connection just went out on me

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Well, hopefully it was an isolated hiccup and won’t continue causing you problems.

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  But no, she didn’t get here yet

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  ah ok

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, hopefully

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  Why?

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  just curious

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So anyway, as I was saying

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[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  thanks baddie

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  You two are well, I hope.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  PRETTY GOOD THANKS

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  re-wb

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  And back again.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  hi pwn

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  same problem, boss?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  havent seen u in a while

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Pretty much

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Just getting knocked offline randomly

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Quite frustrating, I’m sure.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, I’ve been traveling for work, so I haven’t been able to log on until now

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  what kind of internet connection do you have there?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  yea i know how that goes

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  i’ve been having to travel around some for work too

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  If you’re looking for something more specific than “apparently a bad one,” you’re talking to the wrong guy

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  hmm

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So anyway

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  How interesting, Leslie.  Anything specific you’re working on these days?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Did they change something in the guild management panel?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I’m sure the details would be fascinating.

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  at the bottom of your UI, mouse over the icon that looks like a little planet

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  that will show your network info

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Not that I’m aware of.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Why do you ask?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  lol your always so interested in my work

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  oh boy…

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  Okay, I’ve got it

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I’m just curious about people’s professional experiences.  ^_^

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I’m showing a lot fewer guild management options than I used to

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So I’m wondering if they changed something

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  ok, at the very bottom of that info box there should be a string of numbers and letters

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  lol well theres alot going on here but alot of it i cant really talk about

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  copy that to me

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Well, no.  Perhaps you should peruse the guild roster a moment.

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  Hmm, okay…give me a minute…

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  here we go…

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Oh but those are the most interesting ones to chat about under the anonymity afforded by the internet.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  well, you’ve established you work in Dalaran.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  well yes

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Hang on, I’m juggling a couple things

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  if it involves magic research i could probably save you some time finding the tomes you need.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  HOW DO YOU FIGURE

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  THX1138-NCC1701-PU36

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  oh man

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  well, based on our conversation the other day, I probably know your libraries a bit better than you.

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  who set up your connection down there?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  your serious

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  my serious what?

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  Grizzle Gearslip

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  Why?  How bad is it?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  no, ‘your serious’ is a question

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Okay, guild roster

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  no, “you’re serious?” is a question.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  “your serious” is an incomplete noun phrase.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Um.

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  ugh… he’s good with mining and construction

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  …

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Just exactly

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  WHAT

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  THE FUCK

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  IS THIS?

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  but for networking he might as well be trying to put something together with one of those electronics kits from the wonderworks

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  if you don’t want my help, you can just say no.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  What is what, pray tell?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHAT

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  HOW exactly is it showing SYLVANAS as guild leader???

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hoo boy…

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Well, there *are* in-game mechanisms for such things.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  When the current leader is offline for a prolonged period.  ^_^

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  You fucking OVERTHREW me?!?!

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[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  I don’t think he would jsut rage quit

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Ah, here he is.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  wb pwn

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  looks like you’re having connection trouble

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Okay so AS I WAS SAYING

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  You OVERTHREW me??!

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  can’t say I’m surprised you’re having trouble staying on

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  You could say that, yeah

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  ^_^

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  So…it’s bad.

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  let me put it this way

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  And hey, hold on, she couldn’t even have DONE this without another officer, so that means either you or Mokvar, Spazzle

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  congratulations, the base hasn’t burned down yet

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  um, well…

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  What’s going on with Mokvar now, anyway?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  It’s funny you should ask, Warchief.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  so yeah staying on topic

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  I was the one who signed off on the dethrone

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I…see

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]:  Fucking hell is THIS what you were talking about???

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered:  um, what?

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]:  With the “they’re going to turn against you” cryptic bullshit

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  well to be fair, boss, you’d been away for a while and there was no telling when you’d be able to get on again

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered:  you realize that was another version of me whose memories i don’t share, right?

You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]:  UGH FUCKING TIME TRAVEL

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  and your connection right now isn’t exactly helping

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah yeah whatever

[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered:  fucking time travel indeed.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  You people have had your fun, now reinstall me before I get on a boat headed north

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Oh, very well, Warchief.  If you insist.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I seriously don’t know what the fuck is wrong with people, I look away for a minute and everything turns into a fucking cartoon

[Lorthemar] has logged on.

[Lorthemar] has been promoted to Guild Leader.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  …

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Oops.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  YOU’RE FUCKING RIGHT OOPS

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  grats lorthemar!

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  oh this should be good.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  That honestly was a legitimate mistake.  Albeit a funny one.

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Oh…wow…really?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  CONGRATS ON THE PROMOTION LOR

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I was about to click on you to promote you when Lor’themar logged on.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  i will bet you any amount of money you’re not the only person saying “wow, really?” right now.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  And, well, his character name is right ahead of yours alphabetically.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  So…he bumped you down one spot on the guild list, and…

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Well…thank you, guildmates!

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  are you seeing this, lor?

[Guild][Lorthemar]  This is truly an unexpected honor

[Guild][Lorthemar]  But one for which I shall endeavor to prove my worthiness!

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  yay lor!

[Guild][Lorthemar]  I really don’t know what else to say!

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  i know you’ll make a good guild leader =)

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Thank you!

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  guess not

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  He probably doesn’t realize he has to turn on officer chat.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Okay so seriously

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Oh, hello, Omgipwnedurface.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  yeah probably

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, hello

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So before you get speechifying again, Livindead just made a mistake handing you the reins

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So before you get too excited

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  oh yikes

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Hand them back over

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Oh.

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Well, I suppose LivinDeadGrl DOES have more experience as an officer.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  NOT TO HER YOU FUCKING WASTE OF SPACE

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  PROMOTE -ME-

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Fine, fine, let me find where the command is…

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell]  does anyone know if there’s a popcorn vendor anywhere in game?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Well FIND IT FAST LORI

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  WHILE YOU STILL HAVE ONE EYE TO LOOK WITH

[Guild][Lorthemar]  I’m working on it, calm down…

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  what are u looking for sweetie?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Oh fuck you, Hair-Care

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Huh.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  WHAT? I’M NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING

[Guild][Lorthemar]  You know what?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  oops sorry, that was pwn

[Guild][Lorthemar]  No.

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Fuck YOU.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  i thought it was u typing there

You have been kicked out of the guild.

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  jkhfgkjshgfkjysdgkfiuhsdfjkghskgf

You whispered to [Lorthemar]:  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  I know, I know

[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] whispered:  My apologies, Warchief.

[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] whispered:  I’m trying to calm Lor’themar down now.

[Lorthemar] whispered:  Fuck you, Garrosh

[Proudleslie | Jaina] whispered:  omg what happened?

You whispered to [Lorthemar]:  Oh you REALLY want to die, don’t you

[Lorthemar] is ignoring you.

You whispered to [LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]:  Well now he’s ignoring me

You whispered to [LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]:  So you can tell him to stop being such a tempermental baby while you’re at it

You whispered to [Proudleslie | Jaina]:  Don’t even get me started

[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] whispered:  Of course, sir.

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  yeah, he’s pretty upset

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  I don’t know what we’re going to do about GL, but I can invite you back to the guild at least

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  Oh gee thanks

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  I don’t fucking believe this shit

You have been invited to join the guild <Warchief>.

You have joined the guild <Warchief>.

You have been promoted to the rank Recruit.

You have been promoted to the rank Member.

You have been promoted to the rank Officer.

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[Officer][Lorthemar]  Well that’s just too bad, now isn’t it?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Lor’themar, I understand, but please try to be prudent at least.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  FUCKING HELL

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  wow this is a really bad day for pwn

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  welcome back, boss

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  UGH this is infuriating

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Actually, while we’re inviting, let me bring a friend in as well, if nobody minds.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  sure

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Between the disconnections and Ponytail here all I need is a pickle for the crap sandwich that is my day

[Bob] has joined the guild.

[Bob] has been promoted to the rank Recruit.

[Bob] has been promoted to the rank Member.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  hi bob!

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  WELCOME

[Guild][Lorthemar]  Greetings, Bob!  As Guild Leader, let me welcome you to the guild!

[Guild][Lorthemar]  I’m sure you’ll feel right at home with the <Warchief> tag below your name.

[Guild][Bob]  Tanks, mon!  It’s good ta be here!

[Guild][Bob]  I be lookin’ forward to goin’ on epic missions with lots a ya!

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  This guy seems familiar

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  OH SHIT

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  ^_^

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So…you play EO too, huh?

[Guild][Bob]  Hey, mon!  Do I know ya?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  sigh

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I’ll get you all for this

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  No

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  um

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Nice to meet you

[Guild][Bob]  Good ta meet ya too, OmgipwneduMon!

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  But for now… I’m going to log off before this vein in my forehead bursts

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  quick recommendation, boss?

You whispered to [LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]:  You GET his ass in line, you understand me?

[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] whispered:  Of course, dear Warchief.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  next time you log on, if you think you smell burning hair, turn off your computer

[Guild][Bob]  So I got a question if anybody knows.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Fine

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  For the duration, Lor’themar, you might want to change the GL title from what I’d set it as.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Taking off now

[Guild][Bob]  If da Lich King’s horse be Invincible, how come I could see it?

[Officer][Lorthemar]  What’s the title now?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  “Queen.”

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina]  no no, thats invisible

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  oh man, good thing Garrosh is leaving

You have logged off.

Monday mailbag

Before I really get rolling with my investigations in Kun-Lai summit, I figured I’d make a pit stop and check on the mail.  Here’s what we have this time around…

 

Dear Warchief,

I haven’t had the chance to get out to Pandaria yet, but I look forward to joining the war effort soon.  In the meantime, I’m curious, what’s your take on all that Pandaren beer I’ve been hearing so much about?

–Kalaban, Undercity

Thanks for writing, Kalaban.  Gotta say, I’ve been dipping into the local panda brews quite a bit since I’ve been out here (Can you blame me?  Have you SEEN the cast of characters I’ve got surrounding me?), and they’re not bad at all.  It’s really pretty hard for me to give much more of a review than that, because if there’s one thing panda beers have going for them, it’s VARIETY.  They’ve got these lighter, thinner ones that personally I think are almost like drinking water (I’m gonna bet those are pretty popular with the blood elves), all the way up to some serious, heavy-duty, knock-you-on-your-ass brews.  Plus everything in between, including all kinds of flavor varieties.  I guess that’s what happens when half the population seems to work in the brewing industry in one way or another.

And really, quality-wise you can’t complain about any of it.  The ones that are so-so are still totally drinkable.  And the ones that are GOOD?  Man.  They make half the stuff you get during Brewfest seem like you’re drinking carbonated kodo piss.  Speaking of which, I’m almost afraid to imagine what’s going to happen when the pandas get their first look at Brewfest next year, because holy shit.

That’s the other thing you notice about the pandas, I’ve got to say.  Dipping into the beer is so much a part of their culture that you don’t even realize that almost the entire population has a constant, low-level buzz going.  And the funny thing is, yeah, sure, they enjoy drinking and all, but they manage to stay really chill about it, like you never see any angry drunks anywhere (take notes, Tirion).  But it’s also like a cultural expectation that they stay vaguely buzzed even beyond the sheer fun of knocking a few back.  Which, by the way, makes me worry about General Nazgrim going native on us – you may have noticed, dude has this nasty habit of boarding ships and then winding up smashing them to bits, and I’m thinking that trend won’t be helped if he starts getting into the habit of boozing it up to boot.  Not to mention, he’s a general and needs to stay combat-ready.  Can’t have him getting a beer belly on us.

 

Hail Mighty Warchief!

Someone is going around posting this…uhhh….manipulated image of you.  It’s a travesty and demoralizing to the horde! This cannot keep going! I find too many who are laughing at this.

The fool cryptically added FYG and sign it J. I am not sure what that means, but it can’t be nice. Fattening Your Gut? Fondly Yours Garona? (bitch!) F..ff..ffffffuucc…. ooooooh……OH. OOOOHHH! O.O

SIR, THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! I WILL HUNT DOWN THIS…THIS…LESS THAN A PEON WORTHLESS SCUM, SLIT HIS THROAT, AND MAKE A NECKLACE FROM HIS TEETH AS A GIFT TO YOU!

I WILL NOT STAND HAVING SOMEONE MAKE YOU LOOK FATTER THAN JI!

I WILL HUNT DOWN AND KILL EVERY PERSON WHO’S NAME STARTS WITH THE LETTER J STARTING WITH THAT FREAKING BLONDIE BOY JOHNNY AWESOME!

(Like the caps? Me too.)

After all the J’s are dead, their heads hanging of the gates of Ogrimmar,  and the streets flowing with their blood…can we like, go out? I think you’re so cute…even if you have a little bit of a belly. (You may want to take it easy on the pancakes and lemon squares, sir.)

Forever in my Heart,

–Tuekie, Rogue Trainee, Ogrimmar

PS: I’m older than I look. Ok?

Okay, so first of all, just so everybody knows, Tuekie here is one of the Dead Peons Society trainees that I’ve been working with the last few months, part of that whole group Gurtash is in.  She’s actually the twin sister of Ruekie, a shaman trainee I think I’ve mentioned once before.

And yes, I know.  Somebody had twins and named them Ruekie and Tuekie.  And yes, I agree.  Death is too good for some parents.  (Granted, “Ruekie” and “Tuekie” are nicknames, and their original, given names – Rue’kara and Tue’kara – are a little better, but still, come on.  You don’t give your twins names that fucking rhyme.)

Anywhow.  Tuekie here was part of the original group with her sister, but we ended up having her stay back in Orgrimmar rather than join us for the trip to Pandaria, in no small part because…yeah.  As you might have noticed…just a little tiny bit TOO fond of her mentor.  So between the fact that in Pandaria I wouldn’t have the ability to send her back to her parents at the end of the day, and the fact that, as a rogue, who KNOWS what she could get up to sneaking around all invisible and shit…yeah, better to let her stay with mom and dad.  FYI, there were a couple other trainees who ended up needing to stay back in Orgrimmar for one reason or another, so they’re still continuing their training back there while the other eight trainees are down here with me.

Oh and also, Teukie?  “I’m older than I look”?  Um, I KNOW how old you are.  You’re freaking fourteen.  I’m thirty-four, and you’re fourteen, and I haven’t hooked up with a teenager since I WAS a teenager, and the less said about that draenei girl in Nagrand the better, seeing as I don’t want Greatmother coming down here and boxing my ears.  So will you give it a rest already because it isn’t going to happen, okay?

Seriously, do other teachers have to deal with this shit?  Don’t stand so close to me.

Now as for the OTHER important part of this letter…

OMG WTF IS THAT SHIT?!?!

Okay…so…this is where I am TOTALLY on board with Teukie, because whoever is behind THAT thing…I…it…just…HOLY FUCKING HELL.  “F.Y.G.” OMG

Okay.  Okay…calming down…deep breaths…let’s look at this thing rationally.

So…we know we’re looking for someone whose name starts with a J.  (By the way, I’m not sure if Johnny Awesome is really going to be our prime suspect here, but you know what?  Go kill him anyway.  Fucker.)

Also, based on…the product…it’s probably a safe bet that this is someone who really, really doesn’t like yours truly.  So, right there, that narrows the field down A LOT, right?

Add to that the fact that that image is clearly using an Earth Online character model.  So we’re dealing with someone who probably plays EO, or at least is familiar enough with the game that they would think to dip into it for the image.

So…J’s…  Ji Firepaw couldn’t be it – yeah, he plays EO a little, but he’s pretty clueless in-game and I don’t see him being able to do that kind of image manipulation.  Jorn Skyseer at Domination Point is out – he isn’t a gamer at all, and I’ve always gotten along pretty well with him.  Jorin Deadeye?  Hmm…I don’t THINK he plays EO, but let’s maybe not cross him off the list just yet.

There have to be other options, though.  Think, Garrosh, think…someone who doesn’t like you, whose name starts with J…plays Earth Online…

Oh.

OH.

THAT FUCKING BITCH?!?!!

Ohhhhh man is she in for it.  Let’s see how funny she thinks it is when I march down there and blow up her whole damn—OH WAIT, I TOTALLY ALREADY DID.  So you know what?  If this is her idea of revenge, if the worst thing she can come up with to get back at the Horde is to doctor up some sad little picture to send around the internet, hey, knock yourself out, Jaina.  Have fun.  Pretty fucking sad, when you think of it.  Also pretty ironic that she’s making pictures of ME to put on the internet – seriously, lady, you want to go over some of the image searches for YOU that come up in my Google hits on a daily basis?

 

Dear Warchief Garrosh,

I just recently found your blog and just caught up on all of your postings. It’s been nice to see the more orcish side of such a larger than life leader. Plus, your lemon squares are truly a gift from the Light! Even though I am Forsaken, those lemon squares manage to bring life back to my taste buds.

I wanted to share a story I thought you might enjoy. I was searching for news on the events happening in Pandaria, and I came across a picture of Lor’themar Theron. I showed my husband (a blood elf paladin) the picture, and his response was “Who is the guy with the eyepatch?” I couldn’t help but laugh. Don’t tell Lor’themar, I’d hate for him to get angry at me. I’d rather not have him glaring at me when I join up with the Reliquary in Pandaria.

Fare well in Pandaria, Warchief.

–Beshara Dawnblaze, Forsaken priestess of the Shadow and Light

Thanks for writing, Beshara.  I’m not gonna lie.  I LOL’ed reading that.  I’m still kinda sitting here chortling, because…hehe…

“Who’s the guy with the eyepatch?”

“What, you mean Eyepatch?”

“That can’t really be his name, can it?  People must call him something else, right?”

“Ponytail, maybe?”

“That’s not really a name, either.”

“Hair-Care?  Cyclops?”

“I don’t think he would really answer to those, would he?”

“Well then I’m out.”

So, also, see?  SEE?  NOBODY knows the dude’s name, not even his own people.  It’s not just me, and it’s not just the Earth Online gang.  Other that Sylvanas, who seems to be able to remember him for some reason.  Maybe it’s an undead thing.  As far as those of us among the living go, though, I swear it’s like the guy has some crazy psychic field around him that makes everyone forget him as soon as they look away.

Anyway, I’ll look forward to meeting you when you get down here, Beshara.  Tell you when, when you see me in person, if you want to crack me up right out of the gate?  Just walk up and say “Eyepatch.”

 

Hey mon,

I got a surprise for ya, mon!  Dat letter ya got from Tandeleina in ya last mailbag?  She was right, mon!  I am Vol’jin!  She figured it out, mon!  I’m up an’ kickin’ an’ still on da loose!  Ya bettah watch ya back, mon, ’cause I be comin’ for ya!

–Bob, Shado-Pan Mon Echo Isles

Okay, seriously, dude, do you think I haven’t figured out your MO yet?  Come on.  This jackass keeps writing to me, and more often than not he just comes up with some crazy ridiculous bullshit to yank my chain and jerk me around.  And you know what?  I’m man enough to admit a lot of the time he’s gotten me to bite.  He’ll write some load of crap, and I’ll take the bait, and rant at him about it for a while, and meanwhile I’m sure he’s kicking back in troll-land laughing his ass off because trolls think positively EVERYTHING is fucking hilarious because felweed.

Well guess what.  You’re not getting me this time, Bobbo.  Yeah, you’re Vol’jin.  Sure you are.  Absolutely.  You somehow miraculously survived the attack in the saurok cave, and you’ve gone off in hiding to heal up, and meanwhile you’ve been putting this WHOLE GIANT CONSPIRACY together behind my back, I’m sure, and recruiting people to help you, and biding your time before The Glorious Revolution where you overthrow me or some shit.

Yeah, sure.  That’s real fucking likely.

Probably.

…

Where did I put that note from AlternateTimeline!Faranell again…?