Archive for thrall

Mak’gora, verbal style

Posted in EPIC VERSE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 2, 2015 by Garrosh Hellscream

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EPIC VERSE BATTLES OF AZEROTH!

GARROSH HELLSCREAM

VS.

THRALL

BEGIN!

GARROSH:

I got the Scourge under wraps, so this round won’t be postponed.
Good thing Blackmoore named you Thrall, ’cause you’re about to be owned.
“Green Jesus,” never wrong? You were never warrior-strong –
Now I’ll shove those beads around your neck back up where they belong.
Aedelas gave you training; Taretha gave you sympathy;
I won’t say what Jaina gave you, but it’s BoP.
You might as well call yourself human, how you were shaped and apprenticed;
All you need’s some beige paint and a trip to the dentist.
Your reign as Warchief was a joke, and you are as well:
Every time I hear your name, I Go’EL-OH-EL.
You left me picking up your mess, and then I watched you leave it:
You failed to serve the Horde – now I’ll crush you beneath it. 

THRALL:

Too often since I went away I’ve heard tell of your crimes,
And I don’t know what disappoints me more: you or your rhymes.
I led the orcs from enslavement to the land we inhabit;
I only made one mistake – and I’m looking at it.
You’re not worthy of your line, you’re twisted as an ampersand;
You’re rhymes are weak and I won’t cheer, but I might give you a big hand.
You’ll keep losing your supporters and the lands you used to hold;
From your mailbag to your reign, you just keep on getting trolled.
So when they finally lead you off bound with chains and rope,
Where you’re going, drop some rhymes – but watch you don’t drop the soap.
I was blind to your crimes, but now you’ve gone past the line;
Now it’s time you finally answered— 

[Thrall hurls the Doomhammer at Garrosh; before it reaches him, though, Orgrim Doomhammer leaps in and catches it.]

ORGRIM:

                                             Yeah, I think this is mine.
Step aside for a real Warchief; challenge me, you’re going to lose.
You might wear my battle armor, but you could never fill my shoes.
Blackhand left our people pinned under Gul’dan’s thumb;
I showed a race enslaved that they could overcome;
I thought that you were fated to hold fast what we created,
But the going got unstable, and the unstable abdicated.
You made a half-assed call not knowing what the pros and cons were;
You played Frankenstein, then washed your hands of your monster.
And you now, Orcish Karloff – you plagued our kind like a pox,
And locked away our people’s hopes inside a heart-shaped box.
We both tried to tear an Anduin limb from unskilled limb,
Only mine was an adult – and I actually killed him.
Your challenge was a waste of time; you should have withdrawn it,
’Cause I own you both like the city that’s got my name written on it. 

[The wall behind them crumbles to reveal a makeshift Dark Portal, through which Blackhand emerges.]

BLACKHAND:

You people must be joking; now you might as well bounce,
Because you’re never trounce the one and only Warchief who counts.
The first to be crowned, rhyming fury unbound;
I built a mighty war machine – you ran it into the ground.
Well I’m back – I was the first, the best to rally orcish masses,
Now I’ll T.H. White Once-and-Future on your asses.
I’m unimpressed, Orgrim, with the rhymes you’ve busted.
Now I’ll correct my one mistake: thinking you could be trusted.
Our bond was iron, loyalty withstanding any test;
Your oath was what a noob picks through on an Outland quest.
So bring it on, Backstabber, and I’ll swat you right back;
You pose no threat; you’d better bet the pimp Hand is Black.

ORGRIM:

You want to take me on, Blackhand? You’d best hope for luck,
’Cause you only ever beat me in a timeline that sucks.
Lust for power kept you dreaming, so you were blind to Gul’dan’s scheming,
Then you followed Hellscream’s lead and sold us out to the demons.
You were Warchief in name, but power? Every last ounce’ll
Dribble down to you for show, straight from the Shadow Council.
It wasn’t till I took command that the First War was won—

BLACKHAND:

And then you led us to internment – yeah, nice work there, son.

THRALL:

We led the orcs back from the fall your madness brought on;
You may be Medivh’s king, but you were Gul’dan’s pawn.
You were a figurehead at best, with a fel employer;
It was only to your own kind that you were the Destroyer.
Oh, but since you mention sons, yours tried to demand
That he should rule, but he got his – by the Warchief’s command.

BLACKHAND:

Oh, look, the junior partner – sad you’re what would become of us;
No surprise, though; like your father, you were never really one of us.
Go play dress-up all you want; fish for praise but you won’t get it,
You just let others do the work and then swoop in to take the credit.
I earned my place as the greatest, and that glory will last—

GARROSH:

At least till Metzen gets another retcon hair up his ass…

BLACKHAND:

Yes, let’s get to you, pox boy, we’ll finish this quickly.
You’ve got rhymes like your childhood: rejected and sickly.
You couldn’t even finish this sad son of Durotan’s –
You should have Bane’d his back in half when you had the chance.
Captain Hammer here’s weak, but he still brought you ruination—

GARROSH:

That’s only ’cause I didn’t gem plot armor penetration.
Now you two old-school has-beens, watch your legacies unravel;
You’re done and gone (except for maybe FUCKING TIME TRAVEL).
My line is stuff of legends; your alias is famed –
They must have thought you’re Tom Riddle, ’cause you couldn’t be named.
I own my every call, each choice a notch in my own belt;
You couldn’t be more of a puppet if they’d made you out of felt.
I’m triumphant and a hero! I’ve slain humans, drakes, and liches!
I ride a wyvern that’s more badass than any of you bitches!
The greatest Warchief of them all, from the last to the first –
Epic mount, epic name, epic life, EPIC VERSE!

 

WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

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EPIC VERSE BATTLES OF AZEROTH!

 

[A quick two-part programming note: First, keep those suggestions coming!  While they will no longer be a regular weekly feature (because, whew, these are hard to write on a tight schedule!), I may still sprinkle them into the blog now and again, if these great suggestions keep coming in and people seem to be enjoying them.

Second — I’ve decided to push Garrosh’s next mailbag from this coming Monday to the following Monday (May 11), to allow the blog’s “main storyline” events to reach a point where the mailbag will seem less forced.  After this month, we’ll be back to our normal schedule of a mailbag the first Monday of each month.  Keep those letters coming!]

30 Days of Character Development #8: Ruekie

Posted in 30 Days of Character Development with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 4, 2014 by Garrosh Hellscream

[Periodically, a post will profile one of the blog’s many supporting players.  (See the first profile for more details.)  Feel free to chime in with recommendations for other characters you’d like to see more about!]

 

Name:  Rue’kara (“Ruekie”)ruekie_profile1

Occupation:  Horde military trainee

Race:  Orc

Class:  Shaman (elemental)

Age:  15

Group affiliations:  Horde (citizen), Dead Peons Society (a.k.a. “DPS,” member)

Known relatives:  Norok (father), Ba’laka (mother), Tue’kara (“Tuekie,” twin sister), Gru’vak (younger brother), Shayis Steelfury (aunt), Saru Steelfury (uncle), Sumi (cousin), Tumi (cousin)

Earth Online notes:  Ruekie does not play Earth Online.  (She might be scandalized by trade chat if she did.)

First appearance:  “Dead Peons Society” (first appearance of the DPS as a group), “Underground farmer’s market” (first named appearance)

Key posts and plot points:

  • Ruekie and her sister, Tuekie, were among the group of “high aptitude” trainees whom Garrosh took under his direct supervision in “Being a role model is a full-time job” and who embraced the group nickname of “Dead Peons Society,” or DPS, in the eponymous post.  When Garrosh left Orgrimmar to join the Horde’s forces in Pandaria, he brought most of the trainees with him, including Ruekie.  (For one reason or another, a handful of the trainees stayed behind in Durotar, including Ruekie’s sister, rogue trainee Tuekie.)
  • Ruekie’s first named appearance in “Underground farmer’s market,” in which Garrosh found an Earth Online dollar-farming operation in Pandaria.  Ruekie had the relatively merciful idea of stopping the operation by pointing out to the young dollar farmers that Horde trainees were paid an allowance considerably greater than their modest pay, and, well, that was the end of that.
  • In “Departures,” Ruekie joined the rest of the DPS in Pandaria on what was meant to be a routine operation at the Temple of the Red Crane.  That was before A Little Patience happened, though, and Alliance forces routed the Horde troops at the temple. Ruekie and the rest of the DPS fled to a nearby system of caves, here Garrosh would eventually find them.
  • The trainees’ underground episode in Krasarang provided a few major Ruekie moments: Before Garrosh arrived, the DPS had encountered saurok in the cave, and during the ensuing battle, ruekie_profile4fellow trainee Lok’osh was killed; after Garrosh found the surviving trainees, an agonized Ruekie confided in the Warchief about her unsuccessful attempt to heal Lok’osh…leading to a rare “Garrosh has a soul” moment (“Don’t blame the healer”).  Later, during the group’s escape from the saurok caves, Ruekie’s command of the elements played a key role in bailing the Warchief out of a precarious position (“Exit strategy”).
  • Ruekie, as a shaman, has always been a devoted admirer of Thrall.  (As opposed to her more hawkish sister, Tuekie, who is an avid Garrosh fan. Perhaps a bit too much. Like, Garona-esque too much.)  In light of her relatively positive interactions with Garrosh during the Krasarang adventure, it’s anyone’s guess who she would side with now.  You know, in the unlikely event that those two should come into conflict somehow.
  • Ruekie maintains a Twitter presence at @RuekieShaman.  Her Twitter voice is provided by long-time reader and commenter Rakael, whose in-game character Ruekie is the basis for her in-blog namesake.  Many thanks to Rakael for generously allowing me to steal her orc alt baby for my own nefarious purposes here, and for her ongoing contributions to Ruekie’s character (many of which appear in this very profile).

In her own words:

Describe your relationship with your mother or your father.  Was it good?  Bad?  Were you spoiled rotten, ignored?  Do you still get along now, or no?

My parents…well, I can’t say we had a bad relationship, I guess, but they were pretty much just there and not much else.  After the orcs moved to Kalimdor, my family didn’t settle in Durotar.  Instead, ruekie_profile3they moved to Camp Taurajo in the Barrens, which is where they raised Tuekie and me.  They never really taught us about orcish ways or customs.  Most of the time they were too busy dipping into the felweed brownies or whatever.  So Tuekie and I ended up spending most of our time with the tauren.  Tuekie was more outgoing, more of an explorer, connected with other orcs more easily when they passed through the camp.  I kept to myself a lot more.  Living with the tauren is what got me started studying the elements.

How vain are you?  Do you find yourself attractive?

I…um, me?  Do I…well, not really, I guess.  I’m just me.  Um…  <blush>

What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?  Color?  Song?  Flower?

Tigule and Foror’s Temple of Caramel-bor!  Brown (I know, not super exciting, but it’s soothing and reminds me of the earth).  Lakota’mani Girls (it’s a fun tauren festival song…people don’t seem to realize, but those tauren know how to throw a party!).  Marsh lilies.

Who do you trust?

I completely trust my teammates.  They’re really the first orcs I’ve hung around with on any kind of regular basis where I feel at home.  I’ll always admire Thrall as a shaman and for everything he did after the Cataclysm.  I didn’t really know what to expect from Garrosh when we started training with him, but he’s really done a lot to try to help us and take care of us.  Even me, when I really needed it.

Can you define a turning point in your life?  Multiples are acceptable.

I was too young to remember the internment – Tuekie and I were barely born when the orcs fled to Kalimdor – so that change in our lives didn’t really register.  The thing that really shook up everything was when Camp Taurajo was destroyed.  Afterward, we moved to Durotar and settled in well enough, but the memory of fleeing across the Barrens – not knowing where we were going, looking around wondering if Alliance were about to come for us, still smelling the smoke from the village – will stick with me for as long as I live.  Camp T was the closest thing to a home I ever knew.  Spirits keep you, Omusa.

ruekie_profile2Is there an animal you equate to yourself?

A wolf!  Spirit puppy FTW!  Awooo!

What does your bed look like when you wake up?  Are the covers off on one side of the bed, are they all curled around a pillow, sprawled everywhere?  In what position do you sleep?

The covers are usually off to the side even before I go to sleep.  I get too hot with them most of the time.  I sleep in kind of a weird position…it’s sort of hard to describe, actually.  Maybe it would be better for you to see it for yourself?  …  Why are you looking at me like that?  I just said…  <eyes go wide>  Oh jeepers!  I, um, no, I didn’t mean— that is— I’m not— Next question, please!  <blush>

How do you react to temperature changes such as extreme heat and cold?

I usually react by going “Oh dang!” because I just got tongue-tied and messed up the incantation for one of my fire or frost spells.

Are there any blood relatives that you are particularly close with, besides the immediate ones?  Cousins, uncles, grandfathers, aunts, etc.  Are there any others that you practically consider a blood relative?

I’m pretty close with my cousins, Sumi and Tumi.  They’re twins, too, by the way.  I guess it runs in the family.  Their mom – Shayis Steelfury – and my mom are sisters.  They all work down in the Valley of Honor.  Pretty much the only time I would come to Orgrimmar when I was little was when we would visit that side of the family.  My mom mostly tried to keep in touch with her relatives.  Father was pretty meh about it, though.

What does you desk/workspace look like?  Are you neat or messy?

It’s not really messy, but I feel like I’m always losing things just the same.  Like I’ll finish with something, and just put it down wherever I am, instead of things having a place where I’ll know to find them.

ruekie_garonaAre you superstitious?

Well, I mean, I talk to ancestral and elemental spirits, so I guess I’m kind of superstitious professionally.

What might your ideal romantic partner be?

Oh, I, um… Well, that would… You know what?  I…yeah, I don’t really talk about that with…who are you, anyway?  So that’s, um, that’s between me and my diary.  Which I keep hidden!  So don’t, like…you know… <blush>

What’s your favorite comfort food, favorite vice, favorite outfit, favorite hot drink, favorite time of year, and favorite holiday?

I love herbed mushroom salad.  (They grow some really great mushrooms in Feralas.)  Um, people have favorite vices?  Why?  Wouldn’t they rather be nice?  Anyway.  Um, my favorite outfit is probably my training uniform – it makes me feel like I’m on my way to being a real shaman!  There’s this Pandaren drink called kafa that I really like, even if it makes me kinda hyper.  Holiday…probably a toss-up between Hallow’s End and Winter Veil!  Candy and presents!

 

Previous Profiles:

  1. Spazzle Fizzletrinket
  2. Ben-Lin Cloudstrider
  3. Dontrag and Utvoch
  4. Taktani
  5. Korrina
  6. Mylune
  7. Mokvar

 

On the last night before the patch, trainees Giska, Korrina, Kulkesh, and Ruekie pay a final visit to their mentor. (Presumably, Gurtash was stuck taking the picture.)

On the last night before the patch, trainees Giska, Korrina, Ruekie, and Kulkesh pay a final visit to their mentor.
(Presumably, Gurtash was stuck taking the picture.)

Out of the frying pan, into the Firelands

Posted in Comics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 16, 2014 by Garrosh Hellscream

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* Mokvar pulled a sneaky bait-and-switch with Ji to keep Mylune from…detaining him at the Sanctuary of Malorne.

** Neeru Fireblade pointed Mokvar in the direction of the Council of the Black Harvest, and Ritssyn specifically, here.  As the green fire veterans among you may recall, Ritssyn and Zinnin were dispatched to the Firelands by Kanrethad Ebonlocke.

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* As Mokvar has detailed, the Nether Prism is a warlock relic which he had acquired years ago in Blackrock Spire; when its powers proved stronger than he could handle, he passed the prism off to the imp Vi’el, a collector or rare magic items, in Darkwhisper Gorge.  When Mokvar and Deliana returned to Winterspring to try to recover the Prism, however, they found Vi’el had been killed and the Prism was nowhere to be found.

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Posted in Comics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on August 28, 2014 by Garrosh Hellscream

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* Garrosh elegantly summarizes the salient points of Mokvar’s own account of his past, which he detained here and here.  There’s also this breakdown of Mokvar’s ongoing saga, but at this point, is anybody really not caught up yet?

** Spazzle filled Garrosh in on what he knew, re: Mokvar, in this post and its aftermath.

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* Surely everyone remembers the infamous binary punchcard from Gnomergan, right?

 

30 Days of Character Development #7: Mokvar

Posted in 30 Days of Character Development with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 25, 2014 by Garrosh Hellscream

[Periodically, a post will profile one of the blog’s many supporting players.  (See the first profile for more details.)  Feel free to chime in with recommendations for other characters you’d like to see more about.]

 

mokvar_profile1Name:  Mokvar

Occupation:  Scribe; former advisor to the Warchief; former mercenary; currently between gigs, as it were.

Race:  Orc

Class:  Warlock (currently and formerly), shaman (formerly)

Age:  44

Group affiliations:  Horde (former citizen, currently banished), Earthen Ring (former member), Veiled Blade (former member)

Known relatives:  Drulla (mother, deceased), Vokmar (father, deceased), ex-wife (heretofore unnamed)

Earth Online notes:  Founding member and officer of Garrosh’s guild <Warchief>; presumably demoted from officer status since falling out of good graces with Garrosh, though it’s currently unclear if he’s actually been demoted or gkicked.  Main toon is Bartleby (class unknown); has at least one alt, LamontCranston (not a member of <Warchief> and unknown by most of the guild, possibly all but Spazzle).

First appearance:  “Visiting Ashenvale” (first mention), “Underneath the bunker” (first transcript)

mokvarprofile2Key posts and plot points:

  • Garrosh first mentioned Mokvar in the very early days of the blog, during an inspection trip to Ashenvale.  After completing an aerial bombing run over Astralaan, the Warchief was most irate that Mokvar wasn’t able to adequately sketch him walking away from the resulting explosions; Garrosh ordered Mokvar back to Orgrimmar to train up inscription under pain of, well, pain.  (Interestingly, the job of keeping visual records of some of Garrosh’s expolits would eventually fall to Gurtash in the form of his comics.)
  • Mokvar would return a few weeks later in “Underneath the bunker” to record the first of many transcripts of the Warchief’s dealings.  (Also of note is that this transcript marked the first appearance of Dontrag and Utvoch.)  From that point on, Mokvar would frequently accompany the Warchief in his adventures, recording Garrosh’s discussions with such luminaries as Tirion Fordring (“Where did all the words go?”), Mylune (not once but twice), Garona and Johnny Awesome (“Awesome job, Mokvar”).
  • Mokvar traveled back in time to old Hillsbrad with Garrosh, Liadrin, Faranell, and Utvoch in an attempt to trace the origin of a magic “anti-plague” that was devastating the Forsaken (The Anti-Plague of Southshore).  While there, Faranell switched places with a past version of himself and inadvertently set off a series of events that would eventually cause massive disruptions to the timeline (Timequake).  In the ensuing chaos, Mokvar was one of the only people to be aware of the changes that had occurred, and helped the Warchief reset history to its proper course.  To this day, Mokvar remains one of the only people – along with Garrosh, Liadrin, and Faranell – who remembers the events that transpired in the other timeline.  (Okay, yes, Utvoch remembers, too…but would you really bet your next paycheck on him understanding any of it?)
  • Just before Garrosh left for Pandaria, Mokvar was attacked and killed under mysterious circumstances (“Death of the author”), though his death was made temporary by his ability to ankh as a shaman.  This brush with death marked the beginning of the Mokvar saga that continues to this day; a detailed, post-by-post account can be found here, but here’s the semi-sorta-short version: In his mercenary days before coming to Orgrimmar, when he was a member of the Veiled Blade, Mokvar had acquired, then disposed of, a powerful warlock relic called the Nether Prism; now, years later, the Prism’s prior owner (the drakonid lord Valthalak) has sent spectral assassins after Mokvar in an effort to recover his prize.  Mokvar reunited with old mercenary friend Deliana to try to recover the Prism, then launched into a run of suspicious, erratic behavior – traveling to Ironforge under diplomatic cover, then being charged with the murder of one of its citizens; turning for aid to Neeru Fireblade, then, even more damningly, Magatha Grimtotem; breaking out of Orgrimmar while under arrest, leading to his eventual banishment from the Horde.
  • mokvarprofile4After Mokvar disappeared from Orgrimmar, he remained off the grid for several months, save for elemental indications to fellow shaman Spazzle that he may have met his final demise.  Ji Firepaw, however, wasn’t willing to give up hope for Mokvar’s survival (and rightly so – did anyone really think that I was not only going to kill off Mokvar, but do so off-screen? Really?), and continued investigating Mokvar’s whereabouts.  Ji’s search eventually led him to Blackrock Spire, where Mokvar made his dramatic, fel-infused return in “The scouring of the Spire.”
  • True story: I originally introduced Mokvar not even as a real character, but as a plot device to justify inclusion of the transcripts.  I realized early on that I wanted to include dialogue in the blog, but I didn’t feel like it would fit stylistically to have Garrosh writing it out as it would appear in a novel – one thing I try to maintain (with ranging degrees of success) is the appearance that Garrosh really is writing everything in the blog, as a blog, rather than a short-story-but-we’ll-call-it-a-blog-even-though-we-know-it’s-really-not-wink-wink.  Mokvar as a scribe provided an excuse to include that extra material.  Another true story: When I was first choosing Garrosh’s scribe, I pretty much went into Grommash Hold and semi-randomly picked someone who looked like he didn’t have much else to do. Who knew?
  • For the fashion/transmog-minded among you: Mokvar’s warlock attire is roughly based on the Tier 9 warlock set.
  • Mokvar’s Earth Online character, Bartleby, is a reference to the title character in Herman Melville’s short story “Bartleby the Scrivener.”  (Scrivener = scribe!)  Mokvar likewise references the story on a few occasions when repeats Bartleby’s signature line, “I would prefer not to.”
  • For anyone who hasn’t pieced it together by this point: Mokvar’s close connection to Deliana is based on their parallel in-game roles.  Pre-Cataclysm, Mokvar (in Orgrimmar) and Deliana (in Ironforge) were the questgivers who sent adventurers on the (very long and painful) quest chains to upgrade the old “Tier 0.5” dungeon sets.  The two characters offered essentially the same quests, which provided the basis for much of the in-blog backstory about Lord Valthalak.  (Valthalak’s spirit was the end boss for that quest chain, by the way, and for anyone who missed it during vanilla, fighting him at level was a NIGHTMARE.)

In his own words:

In there one event or happening you would like to erase from your past? Why?

My last job with the Veiled Blade, when we went into Blackrock Spire to collect Valthalak’s goodies.  It turned out to be nothing but trouble, and cost most of us our lives – all of us, in fact, other than me and Deliana.  (And strictly speaking, it cost me my life, too; it just didn’t stick. So, congratulations to Deliana for being the last one left standing. Was anyone running a pool?)

What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? Color? Song? Flower?

Tigule and Foror’s Lok’tar S’more-gar.  Cerulean blue.  The Lokvad’nod Broxigari.  Any daisies I’m not pushing up.

Who do you trust?

After everything we’ve been through, I trust Deliana with my life.  The same goes for Ji and Spazzle.  I trust Thrall and Eitrigg implicitly, and I’ll probably always be grateful to Thrall for giving me a safe haven all those years ago.  I trust Liadrin for her judgment, Saurfang for general badassery, and Garrosh…well, I trust Garrosh to be Garrosh.

mokvarprofile3How are you with technology? Super savvy, or way behind the times? Letters or email?

I’m no Spazzle, but I’m good enough with technology to get by.  I’m not really what you would call tech literate in the broad sense, but I do okay with specific tasks on specific devices; once I learn how to do something, I’m usually fine, but then I don’t like to stray too far from what I know, even if something new and better comes along.  I still prefer to write by hand, but I usually end up having to type things out – people are always complaining about my handwriting.

How do you react to temperature changes such as extreme heat and cold?

Heat doesn’t bother me at all.  I hardly even notice it.  Cold, on the other hand… spirits, I hate the cold.  You could not have paid me enough money to go to Northrend.

Are you an early morning bird or a night owl?

Neither, really.  I have pretty strange sleep habits: I usually tend to sleep for 2-3 hours at a time, scattered around random times in the day.  It’s a holdover from my mercenary days, when we would often have to be on the move on short notice; I developed the ability to sneak in what sleep I could when I could, and it’s stayed with me.  So now you’re equally likely to catch me awake at some odd hour in the middle of the night, or asleep in the middle of the day.  It’s the main reason why I don’t like surprise visitors.  That and the recent habit that surprise visitors have been getting into of trying to kill me.

What’s your preferred means of travel?

On wolfback.  I like feeling my feet on the ground…or at least my wolf’s feet, indirectly.  If I have to fly, I’d rather take a zeppelin or gunship.  I’ve never gotten completely comfortable on a wyvern (although I still prefer them to bats or dragonhawks or…well, I don’t know how people manage to keep their balance on those carpets).  I’ll fly on one if I need to, and I have lots of times – it just makes me uneasy while I’m up there.

If you could time travel, where would you go?

Don’t even joke about that.

Are you superstitious?

I definitely believe that there’s something out there that’s either looking out for me, or has it in for me.  I’m still not sure which.  Check back with me again another time.  Unless I’m dead, in which case we probably have our answer.

What might your ideal romantic partner be?

Someone calm, grounded.  Stable.  Not prone to emotional swings or extreme highs and lows.  Someone who’s figured themselves out, gotten comfortable with themselves, grown out of the drama and the need for everything to be a thrill ride.

If your life were a genre, what would it be?

Pretty definitely something in the action/adventure area, or at least a suspense thriller.  Be careful what you wish for, I suppose.  Sometimes I think I should have listened to my mother and been a banker instead.  When I was younger, I couldn’t wait to go out into the world and have adventures.  Thirty years of adventures later, I think I’ve had more than enough excitement.  I’d love to be bored.  I’d love to settle down comfortably in a quiet corner of Orgrimmar once we get to the other side of all this, and age into some old man who everyone considers pretty dull and uninteresting, except for every so often when he rattles off another one of his crazy stories — which most of the kids probably won’t believe really happened anyway.  I think I’ll enjoy that.

 

Previous Profiles:

  1. Spazzle Fizzletrinket
  2. Ben-Lin Cloudstrider
  3. Dontrag and Utvoch
  4. Taktani
  5. Korrina
  6. Mylune

30 Days of Character Development #1: Spazzle

Posted in 30 Days of Character Development with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 5, 2014 by Garrosh Hellscream

[A few weeks ago, Rades and Vidyala over at From Draenor With Love came up with a pretty neat use of the “30 Days of Character Development” meme that’s been floating around.  Rades and Vid answered a selection of the questions, in character, in a pair of posts that offered a look at their Azerothian namesakes.

I loved this idea, and so, with a grateful nod and salute to Rades and Vid, I’m going to kick off my own variation.  My take is going to be spread the original 30 days over 30 weeks, with one post per week.  Each post will highlight one of the supporting (or not-so-supporting) characters in the blog.  I’ll include a selection of the original 30 questions, answered, a la R&V, in character, plus an assortment of additional information.  Those among you who, like me, grew up poring over comic book compendia like the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe may see a definite influence.

In the process, I think I may be able to give a few entertaining tidbits on some familiar faces, provide new readers (and old) an additional shortcut for getting a sense of who’s who, and also compile a sort of “blog bible” of character information (something I’ve been wanting to get around to for a while, for my own reference).

Every week (I hope!), you can expect to see one of these profiles.  While it’s possible that they may end up with a set day, I don’t plan to lock it in quite so tightly; much more likely, I’ll use the profiles to fill out the week’s posts without (hopefully) breaking up the main continuity too much.  Feel free to chime in with whom you’d like to see featured!  (Yes, Repgrind, I know.  We’ll get to Faranell eventually, I promise.)]

 

spazzle_profileName:  Spazzle Fizzletrinket

Occupation:  Tech consultant to the Warchief, part-time blogger, Earth Online guild leader

Race:  Goblin

Class:  Shaman (enhancement)

Age:  27

Group affiliations:  Horde (citizen), Bilgewater Cartel (member), Fizzletrinket Technologies (a tech startup that, admittedly, hasn’t been particularly active since the development of the TranslationMaster2000; owner)

Known relatives:  Khizzara Whizzingcrank (cousin and blogger namesake)

Earth Online notes:  Current guild leader of <Warchief>, appointed by Garrosh while the Warchief is stuck with an unreliable wireless connection in Pandaria.  Also administers <Warchief> guild web site.  Main toon MrBadCrumble (class unknown).  Had attended three straight EarthCons until missing this past year’s, due to being too busy freaking out over one of his friends being killed (this one didn’t take), charged with treason, banished from the Horde, and killed again (this one evidently did).

First appearance:  “LOK’TAR OGAR!” (first mention); “Spazzle Speaks” (first guest post)

Key posts and plot points:

  • Spazzle first introduced Garrosh to online gaming in “Earth Online”, set him up with a wireless network (which Garrosh historically calls “why fly”) in Grommash Hold in “Doing some gaming…”, and brought him along for a trip to EarthCon (at which Genesis Entertainment revealed their plans for the “Land Down Under” expansion) in “EarthCon.”
  • After Garrosh created the Earth Online guild <Warchief>, Spazzle set him up with an addon to save a record of guild chat in “Welcome to [Warchief]”, the blog’s first guild chat log.
  • In “Spazzle Speaks: Shamans United!”, Spazzle encounters Thrall on the way to the Echo Isles, where they discover the Kor’kron occupation.  After the Echo Isles are freed, Spazzle maintained secret contact with Thrall and Vol’jin, as revealed in “Spazzle Speaks: The Gobin is Always Greener on the Other Side of Guild Chat” and “Spazzle Speaks: Tours of Duty.”
  • After being banished from the Horde, but before disappearing to locations unknown, Mokvar met with Spazzle in “Spazzle Speaks: Parting Gifts” to entrust him with custody of his recall totem, a shaman relic connected to the Astral Recall spell.  While Spazzle was holding the totem, its elemental energy fizzled out – something that would normally only occur as a result of a shaman’s permanent death.  This development is first covered in “The Goblin is Always Greener” and further explored in “Spazzle Speaks: Dead End.”
  • As shown in several of the guild chat logs, Spazzle has become one of Ji Firepaw’s closest friends in the Horde since the disappearance of Mokvar.

garroshgurtashIn His Own Words:

Describe your relationship with your mother or your father, or both.  Was it good?  Bad?  Were you spoiled rotten, ignored?  Do you still get along now, or no?

My father and uncle both died when I was little, in a freak giant-rampaging-robot-gorilla accident.  I won’t bore you with the details, we all know how those go.  My mom and aunt split a two-family duplex-in-a-box and raised me and my cousin Khizzara together.  We weren’t rich, but we weren’t exactly hurting for money after the robot gorilla settlement.  So I guess Zzara and I got pretty accustomed to getting the toys we wanted.  Maybe spoiled, a little?  I didn’t really learn to be too independent until I had to.  Mom didn’t make it out of Kezan when the Cataclysm hit.

Who do you trust?

Khizzara – she’s more like a sister to me than a cousin.  Mokvar, despite everything.  Ji.  Thrall.  I trust Garrosh and Vol’jin both, in their way, but I think they both have some serious blinders on.

Can you define a turning point in your life?  Multiples are acceptable.

Definitely the Cataclysm.  I lost my mom, as well as my home back on Kezan.  It led to me meeting Thrall, becoming a (fairly crappy) shaman, joining the Horde.  And then of course there’s everything that’s come with moving to Orgrimmar and starting to work for Garrosh.  So it’s really easy to divide my life into two periods, B.C. (Before Cataclysm) and A.D. (After Deathwing).

How are you with technology?  Super savvy, or way behind the times?  Letters or e-mail?

Oh man!  I’m all about the newest tech.  Some days I’ll burn up a whole afternoon, just tinkering around, trying to come up with my own advances.  They…usually don’t go completely to spec, but still!  I’m generally a lot better with electronics than with machinery – if you’re building a robot, I’m totally the guy to design its brain, but you probably shouldn’t come to me first if you need to install a new arm.  E-mail, definitely.  My handwriting is pretty terrible because I type so much more than I write by hand.

C18sampWhat’s your desk/workspace look like?  Are you neat or messy?

Organized chaos.  It looks like a giant mess, with piles of stuff on top of piles of other stuff, but I know what’s in all of the piles.

What would your cutie mark be?

Um… Am I supposed to know what that means?

What’s your favorite comfort food, favorite vice, favorite outfit, favorite hot drink, favorite time of year, and favorite holiday?

The pandaren have these noodles that are really great comfort food, plus they only cost…like…five copper a pack.  I don’t know how they turn a profit on them.  Favorite vice is probably…I don’t know…wasting waaaaaaaay too much time screwing around on the internet.  There isn’t one outfit that I like best, but I’m pretty fond of a bunch of the t-shirts I have.  Earl grey tea.  Autumn, right when the leaves are starting to turn.  Hallow’s End.

If your life were a genre, what would it be?

Definitely a comic book.  And that’s even before you figure in the Gurtash factor.

 

[One last OOC note: The sharp-eyed among you may have noticed that the comic panel excerpted above (featuring Spazzle with Garrosh and Liadrin) doesn’t look familiar.  Consider it a preview — Gurtash strikes again in another day or two!]

Spazzle Speaks, In Which Ji Stumbles Upon an Unexpected Snack

Posted in Spazzle Speaks with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 22, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

orgrimmar19

So, um, did anybody else hear that?

Maybe it was just my imagination.  Weird.

Anyway…updates!

Ji got back from Twilight Highlands today.  He’d taken the suggestion I’d brought back from Thrall and had gone out there to visit Muln Earthfury and the Earthen Ring.  Unfortunately, it didn’t really lead anywhere.  Muln wasn’t able to sense Mokvar through the elements at all, or make contact with Mokvar’s spirit.  That last part is probably the closest thing to good news that came out of the trip, since if they were able to reach out to Mokvar’s spirit, that would be proof positive that he is dead.  I don’t know how much comfort that is, though, since individual spirits aren’t usually in the habit of showing up on demand.  I suppose one of the perks of being dead is getting to decide for yourself when you’re going to clock in.  So, I’m not sure how much comfort there is to be taken there.  You know Ji, though – always the optimist, so he’s already trying to dig up new leads.

Ji managed to get himself in a little trouble while he was out there, too.  On his way back from the Earthen Ring, he flew over the outskirts of Thundermar, where some of the dwarves had some meat hanging outside curing.  I don’t know if Ji just happened to glance in the right direction at the right time, or if he has a really great sense of smell, or if he’s got some kind of special radar like a hunter (Track Edible?), but hoo boy, he didn’t waste any time swooping down for lunch.  Once he landed, he also spotted a couple huge kegs of Wildhammer ale right there, and that was all she wrote.

Of course, the eating and drinking didn’t go on for very long before the Wildhammer dwarves noticed him.  Funny thing, though…at first, the dwarves just figured that Ji was one of the pandaren who’d joined the Alliance, and went over to join him for a drink.  Come to think of it, that is kind of weird that mix-ups like that don’t happen more often – I mean, it’s not like the pandaren on either side all go around wearing t-shirts that say “For the Horde” or “Boy It Sure is Neat Being in the Alliance (The Battle Cries Kinda Suck, but I Got to Punch Varian in the Face!)”.  Go figure.

Anyway, Ji being the unassuming type, he made the mistake of pointing out to the dwarves how nice it was that they were okay sharing their food and ale with him even though he’s in the Horde.  That was right around the point when he found himself being punched repeatedly.

Luckily, some of Warlord Zaela’s Dragonmaw were patrolling around the area, and they were able to bail Ji out and make sure he got home in one piece.  He mentioned that they flew him back to Dragonmaw Port on a proto-drake that they must have brought down from Northrend – sounded like they had a bunch of them, actually – but Zaela didn’t seem to want to talk about them.  I’m not sure if she was just irritated that her people had to stop whatever else they were doing to come rescue Ji, or if she just wasn’t feeling very talkative.  Ji can be a little chatty sometimes.  And he does have kind of a habit of putting his foot in his mouth.  I swear, if he tried his “I bet you can’t keep the men off you” line with Zaela, he should count his lucky space stations she didn’t take his head off right then and there.

Gotta run.  Ji’s coming over for dinner, which means I’ve only got nine hours to get enough stuff put together.  Talk to you all soon.

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