Visiting Ashenvale

The inspection visits to Ashenvale have been a mixed bag so far.

On the plus side, we’re bombing the shit out of Astranaar, and watching stuff blow up is always fun.  I even got to ride a wyvern and drop a few bombs myself, which let me tell you, was fun as all fuck.  I went around three times – BOOM!  I wanted to do more, but apparently the fucking wyvern was getting tired, so I had my guards beat it and tell it to quit being a such a pussy.  Then I reassigned it to flight point duty and put it on the Winterspring-to-Silithus round trip.  THAT SHOULD TOUGHEN IT UP.  (Shit, this is going to get the DEHTA fuckers going again, isn’t it?)

I wanted to have them blow something up while I as there and then have Mokvar draw me walking away looking all unimpressed, because you look way cooler when you don’t even bother looking at an explosion, but Mokvar said he couldn’t draw, which was really fucking inconvenient, so I sent him back to Orgrimmar and told him to start milling inks and not leave until he’d gotten trained up.  I’m not going to have lackeys riding around with me who can’t be bothered maxing up the necessary skills. LIKE HE HAS ANYTHING MORE IMPORTANT TO DO THESE DAYS.

On the down side, what the FUCK is going on with Splintertree Post?  We used to have a pretty secure holding, and now we’re under siege by a bunch of fucking giant orange TREES?  The hell?!  Dammit, I’m all for advancing the battle onto fronts like Astranaar, but that doesn’t mean you get so preoccupied you let the stupid elves roll up on your original base!  Oh and never mind the whole Durak business – yeah, let’s let the demons who nearly destroyed our whole race PLANT ONE OF THEIR OWN RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR OUTPOST.  Who the fuck is in charge out there anyway?  They always say incompetence starts at the top…

By the way, I never thought I’d say this, but going around in these night elf forests is starting to make me think maybe the blood elves are actually the tough side of the family.  I mean, yeah, they’re scrawny and prance around way too much for my liking – trust me, I know, the last thing Thrall did before skipping town was stick me with a whole delegation of them hanging out right in my fucking throne room, and don’t think for one minute that Thrall didn’t laugh his ass off all the way to the Maelstrom over that one – and yeah, the whole sunshiny enchanted woods they have in Eversong isn’t helping matters.  But shit, look around this place, and it’s like these night elves felt the need to fucking dip everything in glitter.

I still need to check in at the new fortifications at Zoram’gar, but first I need to make one side trip.  More later.

 

 

[Header image provided by Rioriel from Postcards From Azeroth, reproduced here with permission and many thanks.  Click here to see the souped-up Postcard version!]

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4 Responses to “Visiting Ashenvale”

  1. Try leaving some of your yummy Lemon Bars!!!

  2. Oh snap, my readers have infiltrated your blog Garrosh ….muahahahahaha.
    They are a hungry lot so I’d suggest baking up something.

    • Garrosh Hellscream Says:

      Yeah, yeah, fine, tell you what — lemon bars for everyone… available to you for the low low price of two Orgrimmar Cooking Awards. SEE WHAT I DID THERE, BITCHES? I’M TAKING IT BACK.

  3. Dude, the glitter? Why do you think I LEFT? Also, back in the day with no epic mount, that place was a pain in the ass.

    I advise sending others to raid Dolanaar if the glitter is bothersome, incidentally.

    I suppose it might seem traitorous to be so interested in Horde doings, but it’s not as if you wouldn’t be trying to set shit on fire anyway.

    ~Euridice

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