Archive for rexxar

Remind me not to do that again

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , on June 2, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

thunderlordstronghold

Okay, so maybe that wasn’t such a hot idea.  Believe me, as of this morning, I’m paying for it.  So this is going to be a short post, seeing as right now just looking at the computer screen is making my eyes hurt, and my head still kind of feels like it’s swimming around in oatmeal.

UGH.

The worst part of it is, it ended up being for nothing, because even though APPARENTLY T’chali did know what became of Sabellian or Sablemane or whatever the fuck we’re calling him this week, and even though I guess he TOLD me…damned if I can remember any of it.  And no way am I going back up there to try to get the information out of T’chali again, because I’m pretty sure I know how that’s going to end up.  Either more incoherent blogging or a dead troll.

So bottom line, yeah, we’ve got one of the last children of Deathwing running around loose somewhere, presumably somewhere in Outland, but who knows what he’s up to or where.  But hey, you know what, if nobody else seems to think this is something to worry about, and they’re content to kick back and smoke another bowl or play catch with their bear or something, hey, fine.  I’m going to leave a heads-up with Greatmother in Nagrand and with Nazgrel over in Thrallmar just so people are aware that, you know, there’s the outside chance of a fucking BLACK DRAGON showing up one day, but other than that, pfft, whatever.  It’s your planet, guys.  Have fun.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go brush my teeth and take a nap before I start heading back to Azeroth.  The hell with this shit.

Advertisements

Long live the king

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 31, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

So here’s a curveball I didn’t see coming.  After I talked with Rexxar, I flew to Bloodmaul Ravine to see what was going on with the ogres.  Sure enough, they all seemed a lot more relaxed than I would have figured.  There used to be a time when the Bladespire and Bloodmaul ogres were at each other’s throats, but now they’re acting like old friends – joking around, drinking together, the whole nine yards.  Thing is, though…if you take a few deep breaths around there, it’s not too hard to figure out why everybody’s so much more mellow.

Uh huh.

Let’s put it this way: felweed’s a hell of a drug.

And I know what you’re going to say – isn’t felweed used for potions, like isn’t it medicine?  Well seriously, dude…it’s ALL medicine, you know?

So it took some looking around, but I finally tracked down this new king of the ogres at the cave that used to be Gruul’s lair.  And you’ll never guess this one – the new king of the ogres?  A fucking TROLL.  Specifically, a troll witch doctor named T’chali.  Which was a hell of surprise to me, as I’m sure it is for you too if you’ve heard of this guy, because last I knew, fucker was supposed to be DEAD, buried alive by the Bloodmaul ogres down at the southern end of the canyon.  All he would say about that was “Reports of me deat’ be greatly exaggerated, mon,” whatever the hell that means, and I really don’t know why I’m even surprised anymore when people who are supposed to be dead turn up alive again, because apparently that’s just the thing to do these days.

Anyway, T’chali was just a bundle of laughs, by which I mean, dude couldn’t stop laughing his ass off over nothing in particular, but it wasn’t hard to figure out why, seeing as every five minutes he was offering me a hit from his hookah.  I’m not even exaggerating, every other thing out of his mouth was “hookah, mon” this and “hookah, mon” that.  Fucking stoner.

When he wasn’t busy cracking up over the fact that his feet moved when he walked, I was able to get the story out of him about how he ended up becoming king.  A ways back he’d gone on a whole big chain of quests for the ogres to help them break free of Gruul and his sons – this was before Gruul finally got his ass handed to him a few years ago.  Eventually after all he did to help them, the ogre mystics gave him the blessing to visit Ogri’la – I guess this is some kind of a big deal to these ogres – and proclaimed him king of the Bloodmaul and Bladespire alike.  Based on what I can see, it wasn’t long before he got some brews going and got the hookahs fired up, and I’m going to stick my neck way, WAY out and say that productivity in ogre-land probably took kind of a dive right around that point.

T’chali did mention one thing that didn’t really hit me until I’d left.  He had made a passing reference to getting some help in his adventures from a human named Baron Sablemane, who had an axe to grind with the gronn for killing countless relatives of his.  It didn’t hit me until later that the gronn in Blade’s Edge Mountains had been responsible for killing huge numbers of black dragons…and that there had been a high-ranking black dragon in Outland named Sabellian…which would fit right into how COMPLETELY uncreative most of these dragons are about their humanoid alter egos.  (I mean seriously, people WEREN’T supposed to figure out that Victor Nefarius was Nefarian?  Really?)  And it would also mean there’s a son of fucking Deathwing still running around loose in Outland.

I asked Rexxar about this when I got back to Thunderlord Stronghold, and check this out – not only does Rexxar know about this Baron Sablemane guy, and not only did he confirm T’chali’s description of him and his personality and his woe-be-to-Gruul-and-his-sons-for-slaughtering-my-kin obsession, all of which might as well have been capped off with giant glowing letters over his head that read <Hey Guess What Everyone I’m the Son of Deathwing>, but Rexxar actually considers this guy a FRIEND of his.

Apparently the thought never occurred to Rexxar that anything might be up with this guy.  Um…BLINDERS, anyone?  Seriously?  So I figure I’m not getting a lot of help from Rexxar in checking up on this.  So I’m going to pay T’chali another visit later tonight and see if I can get anything else useful out of him.

 

 

[Header image provided by Rioriel from Postcards From Azeroth, reproduced here with permission and many thanks.  Click here to see the souped-up Postcard version!]

Thunderlord Stronghold

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 30, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

While I’m here in Outland, I figured I would make a few stops and see what’s been going on out here since I left for Azeroth.  Today I flew up to Thunderlord Stronghold in Blade’s Edge Mountains today and paid a visit to Rexxar.  I knew Rexxar mostly by reputation before he moved out here years ago, and we ended up meeting briefly a couple times before I wound up making the move to Azeroth to take charge of the Northrend campaign.  He remembered me well enough, although it would be nice if I could maybe meet him at some point and have him refer to me some way other than “Oh yeah, Grom’s kid.”

I tried floating the idea of him coming back to Orgrimmar with me and taking a position as an advisor, but he wasn’t interested in leaving Blade’s Edge or getting himself tangled up in politics.  Can’t really blame him on that one.  I think he told Thrall the same once before, which I can respect, although it’s kind of a waste for as big a badass as him to just be hanging out here in the middle of nowhere.

Mostly, though, we ended up talking animals.  Pretty much as soon as I got there, Rexxar’s bear Misha took a liking to Mortimer, and the two of them spent most of the day chasing each other around playing.  Which got Rexxar and I talking about them, and if you know people who have pets – or are one yourself – you know what happens when you get two pet people together.  Worse than people with kids…not least of all because people who have kids don’t really give a shit about what the other people have to say about theirs.  They mostly just nod politely until it’s their turn to talk about their own little snot-nose.  Pet people, though, they just eat up each other’s stories, and they’ll yammer on all day if you let them.  Poor Gor’drek and Nekthar made themselves pretty scarce pretty fast.

Funny story, though – turns out, while Rexxar was still living in Kalimdor and wandering around in Feralas and Desolace, somehow or other he ran into that forest nymph Mylune.  Which is never a good thing when you’re traveling with a furry animal.  So…I’m sure you can fill in this part…she right off started getting all grabby and huggy with Misha.  But here’s where it gets great – Misha would have none of that shit, and after she went and ignored a “You might not want to do that” from Rexxar, the bear fucking MAULED her.  HAH!  So we had a good old time comparing fail-notes on that nutjob.

Also talked a little to Tor’chunk Twoclaws (yeah, that really is the dude’s name, and yeah, I feel for him too) (*chortle*), who tells me the ogre troubles they used to have up there have quieted down a lot the last couple years.  Seeing as we always had all kinds of headaches with the ogres down in Nagrand, I’m always kind of interested in how people in other areas have been getting on with the fat fuckers.  According to Tor’chunk (honestly, not trying to be mean, but I just can’t get past that name), the Bladespire ogres up there recognized a new king a ways back – something about someone gaining the blessing of Ogri’la, which the Bladespires talk about like some mysterious, mystical place even though it’s right there on the fucking maps.  Since then they seem to have calmed down a lot.  I’m kind of curious about this, to tell you the truth, so I might have to swing by and introduce myself to this new king guy, one leader to another.  Because I’m nothing if not a smooth diplomat.

 

 

[Header image provided by Rioriel from Postcards From Azeroth, reproduced here with permission and many thanks.  Click here to see the souped-up Postcard version!]

Fitting names and key words

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 6, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

earthonline1

Probably not much of a shock to anyone, but after yesterday I really needed a little time to just take my mind off the whole Twilight situation, so I ended up hopping onto Earth Online for a while.  So I was going around leveling my new gardener alt, when I ran into this other player and, well, what resulted was probably one of the most gloriously accurate things I’ve ever seen in the game.  Here:

I mean, isn’t that…just…yeah.  HAH!

 

While I’m at it, what with the new year, this might also be a good chance to look back at this first year of the Command Board.  Well, first partial year, anyway…I only just started this thing up at the tail end of August.  But still!  Anyway, it’s definitely been a fun ride so far, but one thing I just look a look back at is the Google search terms that have been bringing people to the blog.  Some of them make plenty of sense, but some of them…well…

Let’s just say some of you people really need to talk to someone.

Let me be really clear about this.  I think it’s awesome that you guys are coming here to read the blog, and I’m happy that people are finding their way here one way or another.  I’m not going to turn up my nose at blog visits from anybody.  But, that being said, HOLY FUCKING SHIT some of these search terms are disturbing.

The most common ones are actually pretty good.  Matter of fact, it kind of feels good when I see someone come to the Command Board based on search terms that make it pretty clear that they’d heard about the blog somehow.  Like for instance, these were the top search terms last year:

warchief’s command board
the warchiefs command board
warchief command board
garrosh hellscream blog
warchief command board blog

So yeah, cool, so far so good.  Then there was this one, which I figure was a typo except it had a bunch of hits coming from it, and I get what they were going for but it’s still kinda funny:

warchief command boars

I can think of at least five directions you can go with that.  YMMV.  Have at it an enjoy.

Then, things start to take a HARD left turn into Asshole-ville.  Here’s a sampling:

“my pants got caught” “dangling or dangle or dangles or dangled or hang or hanging or hangs or hanged or hung”
why isnt the warchiefs command board working for me
sergeant dontrag the door is closed
mistress command eat my shit
jaina proudmoore head
wyvren muscle fuck
omg son of arugal
what is the warchiefs wife
sylvanas for warchief
rexxar for warchief
jaina proudmoore nude
sylvanas windrunner fuck
jaina proudmoore fucking
jaina proudmoore gets fucked
jaina proudmoore fucked

Okay, so first of all…I have to admit, I’m kind of scared now.  I’m going to be really, really optimistic and assume that my regular readers are like…you know…vaguely well adjusted and…um…manage to get laid on a semi-regular basis.  Some of the passers-by, though…yeah, you guys really need to get out more.

Especially the Jaina thing.  I mean I know I clown on her a lot, but come on, guys.  For realsies.  This is just kinda sad.

That said…thanks for finding your way here one way or another!  Barring some catastrophe, you can look forward to lots more thrilling tales and brilliant insights from your Warchief in the year ahead.  AREN’T YOU LUCKY.

Visiting Desolace

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , on November 5, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

Just got back from the final part of this last inspection tour, this time making a couple stops in Desolace.  Most of the time there I was in Shadowprey Village, which, well…you know, trolls.  Wall to wall trolls.  So you can probably imagine how that went.  And I mean, they seem to be on top of things there pretty much, but I’m at a loss for what it is that these trolls find so fucking funny all the damn time.  You try to talk to them about anything, and it’s just a big laugh riot.  I’m starting to wonder if they’re all just smoking something.

I’d heard they had some pretty good seafood there, so I tried asking Lui’Mala about it, since I figured she would be in the know what with her being the fishing trainer there, but apparently the question was too damn funny for her to pull her shit together enough to answer, so yeah, on to Plan B.  I finally managed to get an answer out of Jinar’Zillen, who told me they were a little short on fish at the moment, but they’ve been bringing in some really high quality crab lately if I wanted to swim down and bring up a few of the traps.  I couldn’t help but wonder why they would actually need the fucking Warchief to go haul back his own crab traps, what with it being a fishing village where you’d think there’d be someone around whose actual fucking JOB that would be, or at the very least they’d have some random noobs to go do it just to keep them busy and out of trouble, but whatever, what with all the traveling I haven’t had the chance to do my usual swimming routine anyway, so fine.  He said they were having their best luck with the traps a little way to the north, so I swam down there, only when I got there I couldn’t see any traps anyplace – and while I was looking, this huge orca came rolling up on me and decided it was snack time.  Didn’t work out so well for him, but still.  Turns out, the orca was kind of famous around the village – name of Blubbergut apparently – so I don’t know how Jinar’Zillen could have mixed up his feeding territory with the trapping spots.  Still, that solved the whole problem with the lack of fish, so at least I got a decent lunch out of it.

After I finally got tired of trying to figuring out what all the trolls were finding so damn hilarious all the time, I ended up spending most of my time hanging out with Rokaro, a Champion of the Horde and successor to Rexxar there in Desolace.  Speaking of which, gotta say, we had a fun time exchanging Rexxar stories, since we’d both spent a lot of time with the guy, and if you know Rexxar well, trust me, you get a lot of entertaining stories about him.  Not to go spreading a lot of stories out of school (seeing as I was hardly ever actually IN school), but you know, you watch Rexxar closely and it’s not too hard to connect the dots.  Hangs out with a bear all the time, always wearing a weird wolf mask…well, you do the math.  Although I have to admit the bear thing is kind of cool…it would be nice if we could at least get Rokaro a worg or something.

We ended up swinging by the Mannroc Coven for a while, which is this area that’s overrun with demons that had been summoned by the Burning Blade.  We spent a little time wiping out a few dozen of them just kicks, but these were pretty obviously low demons on the demon totem pole, so they were really easy to kill, and after a little while it just started getting boring.  So we just headed back and figured we’d leave the rest of them to be finished off by some aspiring adventurers, um, looking for…you know…some critical mission vital to the survival of the Horde.  Or some shit like that.

 

 

[Header image provided by Angelya from Revive and Rejuvenate, used here with permission and many thanks.]