Archive for piggie awards

Without Breaking a Few Eggs

Posted in From the Desk of Saurfang with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 27, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

marogg

Citizens of the Horde,

Some days ago I wrote to you in acknowledgement of certain accolades that had been given to Warchief Hellscream for his work on this forum.  In so doing, I noted that perhaps I should begin perusing the internet, as it was apparently home to a great many laudable works such as those being recognized by these so-called “Piggie Awards.”  True to my word, I have these past few days invested some time surveying – I am told that “surfing” is the descriptive metaphor currently in fashion – the internet.

I am both impressed and, indeed, not infrequently horrified.

While undertaking my “surfing,” I did make a point of investigating the works of those other bloggers nominated with Warchief Hellscream.  I was particularly delighted to discover that on Edenvale’s Gamer’s Fridge blog, the Warchief had apparently volunteered the delicious lemon squares recipe of his dear Greatmother in Nagrand: a treat indeed, and one that I know was always a favorite of my son Dranosh.  I find myself once again impressed by the Warchief for having offered this recipe to be freely shared across the internet.  Truly his generosity and thoughtfulness know no bounds.

In contrast, I was appalled to discover that this same recipe was being offered at a cost by one of our own, Orgrimmar infantry chef Marogg.  Upon further investigation, I found that this was far from the only recipe that Marogg was dispensing in such a manner; indeed, it would appear that he had devised an entire system by which recipes could be purchased with “Orgrimmar Cooking Awards,” which even more troublingly can only be acquired by performing menial tasks for this same Marogg.

I am, quite frankly, rather enraged that our infantry chef would extort labor from our own people in this fashion.  My outrage was magnified, as you might imagine, upon discovering that among these menial tasks was a request for Horde citizens to steal rice from our own people – the less fortunate residents of the Valley of Spirits, no less.

I cannot overstate what a vile undertaking I find this entire charade to be.  As such, I have relieved Marogg of his duties pending a full investigation of the matter, and appointed his sous chef Gar’dul as head infantry chef.

I will write again soon with updates on more pressing matters.

 

-Saurfang

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A Commendation of Public Record, Involving the Internet

Posted in From the Desk of Saurfang with tags , , , , , , , on January 23, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

quillandpaper

As I believe I have made clear on at least one occasion, I am admittedly not as familiar with the ways of the internet as are my younger colleagues.  As the latest illustration of this fact, I was not aware that this forum allowed for its readers to reply directly to my letters, in the form of “comments” that are appended to the end of my message.  This was, however, brought to my attention by my calligraphically adroit aide Mokvar, by way of his directing my attention to a response to yesterday’s message.  In it, a reader rightfully praised Warchief Hellscream for his efforts in the creation of this blog, and moreover alluded to a more official recognition conferred a few short days ago.  As I have had confirmed by the telecommunicative goblin Spazzle Fizzletrinket, Warchief Hellscream was recently the recipient of an honorable mention in the category of Most Noticed Blogger Breakthrough in this year’s “Piggie Awards” as presented at MMOMeltingPot.

I will confess, I do not understand what this means.  Nevertheless, it is doubtless a very great honor for the Warchief, one for which I heartily congratulate him, and moreover, since I am currently serving as acting Warchief myself, I feel it only appropriate that I should accept this accolade on Warchief Hellscream’s behalf.

Therefore, I wish to thank whatever persons or entities are responsible for the awarding of this honor.  I do not know what the process of nomination entails, or indeed if there is one, and even if there is, I am unsure of exactly how one advances from nominee to award recipient.  Presumably it does not involve honorable combat, as the Warchief would not have been present of late to participate; though I suppose it is not out of the realm of possibility that his would-be opponent would have seen his matchup and, assuming the attempt would be futile, forfeited the match without having learned of Warchief Hellscream’s current situation.

[This reminds me: Someone once challenged Saurfang to a duel.  Before Saurfang had a chance to respond, the challenger realized what he’d just done and ran away…and kept running.  When the challenger had gotten 100 miles away, Saurfang said “I accept.”  The challenger immediately fell down dead on the ground.  –Mkvr., ed.]

In any case, I would like to offer my heartfelt thanks and appreciation to whoever may have been involved in the nomination, and/or voting, and/or vetting, and/or selection that led to this award, provided that there were people undertaking such things in some form.  I would also like to recognize nominees Stubborn of Sheep the Diamond, Niki “Edenvale” Casselberry of Gamer’s Fridge, and the writers of Flavor Text Lore; fellow honorable mention recipient Bravetank of the eponymous blog; and of course, my highest respect and honor to this year’s winner, Apple Cider of Apple Cider Mage.

Again, I would beg my readers’ forgiveness for the fact that, in all candidness, I do not know who any of these people are.  I am assured, however, by the digitally bookwormish goblin Mr. Fizzletrinket, who is familiar with the works of the above authors, that this recognition is well-deserved indeed.  I may in fact need to make an effort to begin perusing this internet of which I’ve heard so much, as it would seem I am missing out on a great deal.

Turning back to more corporeal concerns, the investigation is progressing steadily, and I will have a number of updates and thoughts to share with you all in my next letter.

Thank you once again on behalf of Warchief Hellscream, friends.  Honor go with us all.

 

-Saurfang