Archive for ben-lin cloudstrider

They might be giants

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , , on May 30, 2015 by Garrosh Hellscream

org13

So, I think we can safely say that Earth Online raiding probably isn’t going to be a reliable way to relax and blow off steam. Which is kind of weird, seeing as how you’d THINK it would help you destress to hop online and run around killing things in virtual reality… except that you still wind up having to deal with people who make you want to log off and run around killing things in REALITY reality. Go figure.

I tried talking to Ben-Lin a little, but not being a gamer herself, I don’t think she gets it. She kept asking me variations of “Why do you devote so much time to an activity that you clearly do not enjoy?” I mean…seriously. You might as well ask that about LIFE. I would’ve figured a freaking COUNSELOR wouldn’t be so out of touch. Oh well.

Anyhow. This morning I managed to clear out some time to go over a few reports from Pandaria. Looks like, since the fall of the Thunder King, the Zandalari influence down there has dropped off a ton. They’re not gone altogether, but their numbers have taken a big dive. Not sure if that’s because our people put just that hard a beating on them the last few months, or if they’re decided to high-tail it to greener pastures now that their thunder buddy’s taking a (hopefully permanent, but who the fuck knows these days?) dirt nap. Either way, I’m not going to complain. Fewer trolls around is never a bad thing.

Still, with the Zandalari mostly cleared out, this might be an opportunity to dip into some of the resources they had going for them. Case in point – as Grottee “Green Tirion” Metalbeard brought up in his mailbag letter recently (you know, the letter so frigging massive it had its own fucking gravity well) – these Zandalari fuckers had mounts and minions that were GIANT FUCKING DINOSAURS.

DINOSAURS, MOTHERFUCKER. YIPPEE-KI-YAY.

Now, mind you, a whole shitload of those dinosaurs got killed off when Ponytail and his helpers were rolling over the Zandas, because why would anybody ever fucking think ahead, right? Luckily, I hear tell there’s still a pretty massive supply of them a ways north of the Pandaria mainland on this island called the Isle of Giants. Which, I mean… “Isle of Giants”? Seems a little on the nose to me, but then again, I commissioned a warship named Hellscream’s Fist, so I guess I’m not one to talk.

Anyway, point being, this could be a major asset for us, so I’m sending word to General Nazgrim in Domination Point that I want him to send a scouting detail up to the Isle and size up how things look. Lingering Zanda presence, prospective dinos, size and scope, all that good stuff. For right now, I’m going to have him send a small, reliable unit for recon purposes only. In the meantime, I’m going to operate under the assumption that he’s going to bring back good news – because when was that EVER a bad assumption to make around here? – and get some Kor’kron beastmasters lined up to go with me when I head back to Pandaria in a couple weeks.

More soon.

Raid night

Posted in Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 27, 2015 by Garrosh Hellscream

earthonline13

So, everything that’s been going on has kept me fairly busy, but still, what with Gurtash still being a big question mark and there not being a whole lot I can do about it, what little down time I have has still been giving me a little too much time to think. So I figure this is a good time for me to get back online to distract myself for a little while…

You have logged on.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] ok now get the pizza guy

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh dammit i blew a cooldown by mistake

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Welcome back, Warchief.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its ok steve itll be back up before we’re at the boss

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] okay, all set

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Thanks

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] gil

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yes, perhaps just soon enough before the boss for him to blow it again.

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] did relogging fix it?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Looks like it

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] gil!

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] which, surely, he would never do.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Get me back in group before I turn it on?

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] incoming

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wtf why am i still losing health

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you have food poisoning

[MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] has invited you to a raid group.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] from one of the taco guy mobs

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh

[Bartleby | Mokvar] has logged on.

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] there we go

You have joined a raid group.

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] oh hey, and there’s our tenth

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you need to clear your stacks

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] you can’t cure it?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, let me just see about the settings on this thing before I try doing anything else

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i CAN

[Officer][Lorthemar] Well hello!

[Officer][Lorthemar] It seems like I haven’t seen you in ages, Bartleby.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hang on gil

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] let me know if you need any help with it

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey

[Bartleby | Mokvar] has joined the raid group.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hi bart

[Guild][Lorthemar] Welcome!

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] wb mok

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Thanks

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Indeed, it’s good to see you again, Mokvar.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] but i only have so many charges of penicillin

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ve got you

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Welcome back to the land of the living. Perhaps literally, from what I understand.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] so it would be easier if you could just watch your stacks yourself

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] crap what was that??

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Heh, yeah

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i lost like half my health!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh hey bart, wb

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Hey everyone

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yea that was [Induced Vomiting]

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] it takes a bunch of health but now the poisons out of ur system

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, I’m glad that’s over with. Being dead isn’t something I would have wanted to make a regular thing of.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you know in my other guild we just let people die if they get avoidable stuff on them

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] thats harsh

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Sorry I’m late, by the way

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol that would be funny

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh it’s not so bad at all if you know how to manage the situation to your advantage.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] that way they learn to stop doing it

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] shut up ut

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] not a big deal, we’re just re-clearing the food court

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I would have been happy to assist you in that regard, had it come to it.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] its not a big deal, no need to let him die

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean steve

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] steve

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, I think I’ve got this set

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Zoning back in now

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Heh, yeah, hopefully I won’t have any more reason to hold you to that.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] clearly the people in your -other- guild possess the capacity to learn.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] maybe no NEED really but it might just be fun anyway

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] What are you working on anyway, boss?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] :(

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] has entered the raid instance {BLACK FRIDAY}

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] aww gil *hug*

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] installing LEA

[Officer][Lorthemar] He’s setting up an addon for the raid.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Ahh

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] :)

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ah, cool, you got raid warnings working

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] u should try to be careful tho

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, now let’s see…

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] if it’s any help, next time you see a food poisoning cloud, steer away from it and let me send one of my pets to get it

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Oh, yeah, those food poisoning debuffs are nasty

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] i can send a vulture or maybe a raccoon

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}<<<~~RW::testing, testing

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] those helped a lot in my other guild

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] With any luck, this will help people be a little more…conscious of the goings-on in the encounter.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] At least the ones from the food court mini-boss

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] o.O

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ya but then wont they get food poisoning and die?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, there we go

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] yea no kidding bart

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[**RAID GROUP COMPOSITION**]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Raider Name]~~~~~~[Class]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]~~Teacher
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Bartleby | Mokvar]~~~~~~~Chef~
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[GilbertRose | Dontrag]~~~~Cashier
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]~~~Lawyer
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Lorthemar]~~~~~~~~~~Hairdresser
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[MrBadCrumble | Spazzle]~~~Firefighter
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Nightengayle | Garona]~~~~Nurse
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[ProfHubert | Faranell]~~~~~Zookeeper
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Proudleslie | Jaina]~~~~~~Paramedic
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[SteveKravitz | Utvoch]~~~~Cashier

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] better the pet than you

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Looks like it’s working okay

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] not so sure about that lol

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] shut up steve

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::here we go, raid warnings up and running

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] cool

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] I watch that guy and I’m like, man, I wish *my* food poisoning hit that hard

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] ok guys

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] no, that’s the whole point of a scavenger. they have highly resilient digestive systems.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] we’re clear here

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no kidding, bart – i feel the same way about some of the self-heals these mobs have

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] let’s get moving to the dept. store entrance

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh okay

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, no kidding

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::HEY

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i wouldn’t want to get your pets killed

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] awww thats sweet of you worrying about the poor animals

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Makes me wish *I* could be a mini-boss

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::YOU HEARD HIM

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yes, that is indeed touching.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GET YOUR ASSES MOVING

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lol yeah me too

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hey, you know, I could get to like this thing

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] admittedly, the expression of compassion suffers somewhat from being directed toward a collection of pixels.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] what

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WHATS UUUP BITTTCCHHHEESSSS

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hoo boy

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] who’s doing that?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh dear.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol pwn has a new toy

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh yeah

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] um

[Guild][Lorthemar] That’s Omgipwnedurface.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Man, I wish I had something like this in real life

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i think maybe there was something wrong with my game

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well, there is.

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I think I might end up regretting this

[Officer][Lorthemar] You just couldn’t have done the raid warnings yourself, eh, Spazzle?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] insofar as you’re the one playing it.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Trust me, boss, you do.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um who else would be playing my game?

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I think he kinda wanted to do them himself…

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ut you idiot

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] might i suggest literally anyone?

[Officer][Lorthemar] Ugh, I can already tell it’s going to get old quickly.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] okay

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean steve

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, people

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] i think we’re set

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We had a little trouble with this encounter last time, so I’m going to run through this real quick

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Now now, Regent-Lord, let is focus on the task at hand.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i know the encounter so I’m going to afk real quick

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We start the encounter split in two groups

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh ok is gayle’s gonna afk imma make a quick bio

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And reserve petty infighting for its own time and place.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOLD IT

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::HOLD IT RIGHT THERE

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::NO FUCKING AFK’S

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::IF YOU HAVE TO GO, FUCKING HOLD IT

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::TILL LATER

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] shoulda kept a cup by you’re desk steve

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WE ARE NOT

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::REPEAT NOT

[Officer][Lorthemar] -sigh-

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] eww gross

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] lol

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::CAPITAL N CAPITAL O CAPITAL T

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GOING TO GET STARTED WITH THAT PANDAREN WATER TORTURE

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WHERE WE SPEND THE NIGHT BLEEDING TO DEATH

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::FROM THE SLOW DRIBBLE OF A THOUSAND CHAIN AFKS

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I must say, Warchief, this is an occasion when I can appreciate your more authoritarian approach.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GODDAMMIT

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok ok sorry

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok back

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I know, right?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] so are we doing a break now or not?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] …

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i thought we weren’t

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Putting out some food

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::AS I WAS SAYING

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Come buff up while we get set.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Steve and Gilbert are going to take the registers and handle the waves of shoppers

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ty bart

[Guild][Lorthemar] Thank you, Bartleby.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Healers will stay in the middle so they can keep an eye on both groups

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] The rest of us will be clearing inventory in the stock room

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] bartleby, you should try to stay near the healers too

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] try to send some extra buffs to whichever group needs it

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You guys on the registers need to check out the shoppers as they come in

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You need to keep up with the pace they’re coming in, but not go too fast

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] If you check out too many too fast, the next waves spawn faster and eventually we’re going to get overrun

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If they end up spawning too many, I can go over and pick some up as well.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] you guys at the registers

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So you want to check them out slowly

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] And by slowly I mean FUCKING SLOW

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Not an ideal solution, but I can do what I can, then use my [Restraining Order] to drop aggro.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] try to use as many credit charges as you can

[Officer][Lorthemar] Good idea.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ok

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] payments over time help balance out the pacing a lot

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok got it

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] I’ll admit, having those two doing a key job doesn’t exactly make me bubble over with confidence.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Once we fill out the sales quota for phase 1, that’ll spawn the boss

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] i know

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] There’s no aggro reset so you need to get the fuck out of the way once Bridezilla spawns

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and the bridesmaid adds

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] True, but they’d be in no less of a position to derail the attempt in the stock room.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] and let BadCrumble pick them up

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Don’t get close to the fitting rooms

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Yeah, true.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Burn down the two bridesmaids LDG marks, then everyone on the boss

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If we can handle the phase transition well, we should be fine.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s been out biggest difficulty.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] manage trash waves, burn boss, profit

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] got it!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Everybody good then?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yes sir

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] looks like it

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] go go go!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay then

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Here we go

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Initiated:BRIDEZILLA]]

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Everyone to your places

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I have the left side of the stock room covered.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok I have everyone in range

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I’m good on the right side

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 1]]

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ve got the whole inventory group covered

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] incoming

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] except lor

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok gil can you try not to get too far from the register

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] your getting out of range

[Guild][Lorthemar] I need to be this close to be in melee range.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok

[Guild][Lorthemar] I’ll back up to get in range if I start getting hit.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, so far so good

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A little extra focus on this side, Professor?

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] stock room clearing out fine so far

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] keep it going

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We can probably afford to clear the shoppers a little faster

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] could you use a hyena or an ocelot?

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] yeah

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ocelot, please.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] gil you need to stay in range

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 2]]

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] on it.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok thats better

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] we’re good over here

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good, they’re evening out now.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Heals going okay?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] if gil can keep in range yea

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i can reach him gayle

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] I’ll put out some carrots

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Shoppers?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] [Sharp Eyesight] for your range.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] actually

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] we’re getting behind

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Which wave are we on?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] 2

[Guild][Lorthemar] Two

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] should i send a pet out to help?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] 2

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Pick it up, guys

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s not good.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I didn’t mean THAT slow

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 3]]

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We should be on

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] well there we go.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] did we clear wave 2?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] no

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What are you guys doing up there?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ugh

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] trying sir

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You guys need to get more payments over time rolling on all of them

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] bart can you buff them up

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] What do we need, coffee for haste or spinach for might?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Both, if you can.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Okay, but I’ll have to blow my [Smorgasbord]

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] do it

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] More PoTs

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] having it later won’t matter if we don’t get there

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] More PoTs

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Done

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That should help.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Channeling {Customer Dissatisfaction}]]

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay, braintrust, now you should

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] INTERRUPT THAT

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] oh fuck

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] too late

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh crap

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We have a manager incoming

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] on my way

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Where at?

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] can you cover this here lor

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Querulous Manager Spawned]

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] register 4

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] ok

[Guild][Lorthemar] I’ll do the best I can.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] ugh

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::BadCrumble to register 4

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::ProfHubert to register 4

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::SteveKravitz to register 4

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] picking him up

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] ok

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::Bartleby to register 4

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::whatever the fuck you do

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] no guys

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::DON’T STAND CLOSE TO OTHER PEOPLE

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] crap

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] spread

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] spread

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Querulous Manager Casting {Frightful Admonition}]]

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Crap

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] damn i’m feared

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Can someone clear him?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] he’s out of range

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] shoppers loose

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m coming out

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] grabbing them up the best I can

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh dear

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] crap

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] He got feared into the dressing room…

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh dammit.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Frantic Bridesmaids Spawning]]

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugghhhhh

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] WE’VE GOT BRIDESMAIDS

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] got some on me

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] summoning my honey badger.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::MANY BRIDESMAIDS

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] dammit i’m down

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] putting it on some of the bridesmaids.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::HANDLE IT

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We can’t be shorthanded now

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] getting him up

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] you sure prof?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] CLEAR

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[Proudleslie | Jaina] Casts: {Defibrillator} on [GilbertRose | Dontrag]

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Not the first time she’s said that, am I right?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] they hit pretty hard

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] watch

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] whew ok

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] maybe not the time, chief

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh wow yea

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] honey badger doesnt give a fuck

[Officer][Lorthemar] -snicker-

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] More heals on MBC

[Guild][Lorthemar] We’ve got bridesmaids back in the storeroom now

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::FUUUCCCCKKKKK

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lot of adds loose still

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] trying

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Kind of hard for him to get them all when jackasses spawn too many

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] we’ve got a lot of damage coming in

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] bah, I’m dead.

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] yet again.

[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m down, too.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I’ve got a bad feeling about this

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ugh i’m dead

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] second time

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] amatuer.

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] focus the manager, maybe if we can get him out of the way

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::everyone on manager

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::NO AOE, FOCUS FIRE

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] well so much for that

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] i’m down

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] aaaaaand i have some friends

[Bob] has logged on.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] my defib’s on cooldown =(

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It doesn’t much matter at this point.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] dead

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] UGGGHH

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] just wipe it

[Guild][Lorthemar] Yeah.

[Officer][Lorthemar] I knew it was going to be trouble relying on them for that job…

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] yeah

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] OK

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] SO

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] problem is they’re way more suited for shoppers than anything else

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::SO

[Officer][Lorthemar] I know…

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Ended:BRIDEZILLA (100%)]]

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WHAT

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::THE FUCK

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::WAS THAT SHIT

[Guild][Bob] ’ey, you get ’em, mon? link da loot!

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I can revive. Don’t release.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I MEAN SERIOUSLY

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] no bobby =(

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOW WAS THAT EVEN REMOTELY FUCKING POSSIBLE

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i know, that was rough

[Guild][Bob] ahhh dat sucks, mon

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] you know, the worst part is it was actually going pretty well there

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] what happened

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] until it started coming apart

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[[[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Casting {Death and Taxes}]]

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Hang on

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] why yes, everything was going just swimmingly until suddenly everyone was dead.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] You two

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Gil and Steve

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ugh dammit Gil get over here so you don’t accidentally start the encounter again

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no i’m steve

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I DON’T FUCKING CARE WHICH ONE YOU ARE

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We may need to come up with a creative way around this phase.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Look, you two

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] We put you

[Officer][Lorthemar] Hopefully “creative” in a non-hacking, non-exploit sort of way, yes?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] on fucking CASHIER duty

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] right

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yes sir

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, Regent-Lord, you’re so charmingly boy scoutish.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] So hang on

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But fine.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Look at this.

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[**RAID GROUP COMPOSITION**]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Raider Name]~~~~~~[Class]
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]~~Teacher
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Bartleby | Mokvar]~~~~~~~Chef~
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[GilbertRose | Dontrag]~~~~Cashier
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]~~~Lawyer
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Lorthemar]~~~~~~~~~~Hairdresser
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[MrBadCrumble | Spazzle]~~~Firefighter
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Nightengayle | Garona]~~~~Nurse
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[ProfHubert | Faranell]~~~~~Zookeeper
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[Proudleslie | Jaina]~~~~~~Paramedic
>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~[SteveKravitz | Utvoch]~~~~Cashier

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um ok

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] IT’S THE ENTIRE REASON YOUR FUCKING CLASS EVEN EXISTS

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOW

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] HOW

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] also, FUCKING HOW????

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I have a thought. What about this.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] how what sir?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] ljksdhfglishpg9tj78w945e3fyhvwol384t6y7holsighd

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] It would have to be an improvement over what we’re doing, really…

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] sorry sir

[Guild][Lorthemar] I really just don’t understand.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We’re not managing the shoppers in the first phase well enough.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Granted, I wasn’t out there.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] So let’s bypass them.

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] how?

[Guild][Lorthemar] But how could you have gotten that far behind on shoppers?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Let’s zerg phase one.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] um i dont know

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] What’s “zerg”?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Were you even using any of your abilities at all?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i think so

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Nothing, really.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I just made up the word. I just thought it sounded good.

[Guild][Lorthemar] You…think so?

[Guild][Lorthemar] …

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well what does it mean?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It means we all swarm the adds in the first phase.

[Guild][Lorthemar] How do you not know if you were even USING your abilities?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] All in a big, overpowering mass.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] try not to get upset lor

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i dont know

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Rather like felhounds, come to think of it.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i’m clicking on buttons and stuff

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Well the thing is, though, the faster we take the first adds, the faster more will spawn.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Do you know what they DO?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] i have a cashier alt in my other guild

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] If we try to power through them, we’ll be swimming in them.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] maybe i can try to explain this to you guys?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] how do you know?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] True.

[Guild][Lorthemar] How do…

[Guild][Lorthemar] …

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But we’re swimming in them anyway.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] oh wow that would be really nice gayle

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok i can try

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] This way, at least, we can all be focused on powering through the checkouts.

[Guild][Lorthemar] Blazes…

[Guild][Lorthemar] They should not be at the raiding stage and still need someone to explain what their abilities do!

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And once we spawn the boss, we won’t have any more shoppers spawning.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lor dont get so upset

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] lor I agree but we are where we are

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] It’s actually not a bad idea.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] It’s risky, but yeah, if it works…

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] would you prefer no one help them and they keep making mistakes?

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] hey, why are all the officers so quiet?

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Maybe if we blow all our cooldowns and buffs right off the top.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] My thinking exactly.

[Guild][Lorthemar] I would prefer to have guildmates who knew what they were doing!

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Spazz, what do you think? Number crunch real quick?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] hey look lorthemar

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] uhh yea…

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] they’re talking in officer chat.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] we’re doing the best we can okay

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] about what?

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I’m coming up with a 32.33% chance of survival

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] repeating

[Guild][LORHTHEMAR] Actually not okay, but still.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] Of course

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] and its pretty lousy for you to be getting all nasty about it

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] like considering

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] probably about how much you fail.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Well, that’s a lot better than we’re doing right now

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] oh :(

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? Considering?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i mean come on man, you only just joined the guild

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Agreed, Warchief.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] ya wasnt it just a couple weeks ago?

[Guild][Lorthemar] …

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] we hardly even know you and you’re gonna be talking crap about people?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well i can’t see any way at all that this won’t end well.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay

[Guild][Lorthemar] ………

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] actually i think he joined like a month or so after i did

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’ll spell it out to these clowns

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] but ya man who are you to be coming down on everyone

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::Okay, listen up

[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh SCREW THIS

[Guild][Lorthemar] I’m

[Guild][Lorthemar] LOR’THEMAAAAARRRRRR

[Guild][Lorthemar] THERONNNNNNNN

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Initiated:BRIDEZILLA]]

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] whats going on

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] oh crap

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] He started the encounter!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] dammit lor’themar

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Bargain Shoppers: Wave 1]]

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GO GO GO GO GO

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ugh this repair bill is gonna suck

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::GET IN THERE

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] ugh

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] picking up as much as I can

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[BRIDEZILLA Frantic Bridesmaids Spawning]]

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] and the wheel turns again.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] dammit lor’themar!

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] well damn that was fast

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] Well, now we know I can tank really well

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar] just extremely briefly.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Oh fucking hell

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] -sigh-

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ugh my defib is still down

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Regent-Lord…

[Guild][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] I don’t think it’s really going to matter, leslie

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] down.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] me too

>>>{Lethal Encounter Addons}~~RW::[[Encounter Ended:BRIDEZILLA (100%)]]

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Dammit Lori

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] you idiot, lor’themar

[Guild][Lorthemar] At least I have roasted quail.

[Lorthemar] has logged off.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Ugh

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I am not looking forward to the email that will surely be coming this afternoon.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Okay people

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] This clearly isn’t going to work tonight

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] Let’s call it a night and try to start fresh next week

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] ok pwn

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] yea probably just as well

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh] I’m gonna log. Maybe Ben-Lin’s got some free time

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] sorry sir, i’ll try to do better

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Of course, sir.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i’ll try to help puffy finish leveling too

[Officer][MrBadCrumble | Spazzle] later, chief

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] maybe he can help a little

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well, we know he’s magical.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar] You know, if we need someone to swap in next time, I might know someone.

[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] right?

[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] does that include miracles?

You have logged off.



Yeah, so. I’ll write more later, after go find Ben-Lin. And beer. Lots of beer. Not necessarily in that order.

More soon.

30 Days of Character Development #6: Mylune

Posted in 30 Days of Character Development with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 1, 2014 by Garrosh Hellscream

[Each week — or some remote facsimile thereof — a post will profile one of the blog’s many supporting players.  (See the first profile for more details.)  Feel free to chime in with recommendations for other characters you’d like to see more about.]

 

mylune_profile1Name:  Mylune

Occupation:  Caretaker of Hyjal, wildlife custodian

Race:  Forest nymph

Class:  Druid

Age:  Unknown, though her behavior would suggest fairly young by nymph standards

Group affiliations:  Guardians of Hyjal (member), Cenarion Circle (member)

Known relatives:  Cenarius (exact relationship unclear, but all forest nymphs are descended from dryads, who are daughters of Cenarius)

Earth Online notes:  Mercifully, no one has told Mylune about Earth Online.  Or possibly about the internet.  Probably for the best in both cases.

First appearance:  “Of wyverns and pine cones

Key posts and plot points:

  • Garrosh has only encountered Mylune a few times, but those few times have been memorable ones.  He first met everyone’s favorite overly energetic nymph in “Of wyverns and pine cones,” in which Mylune was a bit too excited to meet Mortimer.  This came as a shock to no one — least of all Hamuul Runetotem — other than the Warchief himself.
  • Garrosh had another run-in with Mylune (much to his chagrin) a few months later, in “Attack of the petting zoo.”  This time around, Mylune unleashed her boundless affection on a pack of armed critters dwelling amid the northern plateaus of Mulgore.  This time, however, the critters were ready to put up a fight, the distress of which eventually launched Mylune into what can only be described as a psychotic episode.  For the record, Hamuul narrowly missed winning Malfurion’s office pool on when she would snap.
  • It only follows, then, that when Ben-Lin Cloudstrider organized an anger management seminar in the appropriately named “Anger management,” Mylune would be one of the attendees.  Given that the session consisted of putting Mylune, Garrosh, Lor’thermar Theron, and Tirion Fordring in a room together…well…the exercise proved less than productive.  Unless, of course, you’re Faranell, in which case it was a terrific way to spend an afternoon.

In her own words:

What are your most prominent physical features?

Hi!  How are you?  I hope you’re having a super happy wonderful day, because why wouldn’t you when we have this beautiful world to share with all our adorable woodland friends!

Oh… Did you ask a question?  Okay!  Well, I guess I have extra big blue eyes — for looking out for all the cuddly animals!  And my long pointed ears…to listen for the cuddly animals!  And…oh, and my slender but surprisingly steel-trap-like arms, for hugging the cuddly animals!  They’re just so sweet and cute, so how could I resist!  And hug them to my bosom!  Nice and close to my heart, that’s big and warm and just bursting with love for the animals!  Does that count too?

Name one scar you have, and tell us where it came from.  If you don’t have any, is there a reason?

I do have this one little scar on my shoulder here, but you know?  It’s a funny thing!  I don’t really remember where it came from.  Isn’t that weird?

Describe your happiest memory.

Ohhh that would have to be the first time I went up to Nordrassil.  It was before that mean demon guy climbed up there and made everyone sad for a while, and I’ll always remember walking through the passage to the peak of Mount Hyjal, and seeing all the animals running around and playing, just bunnies and squirrels and raccoons and skunks and chipmunks and OH MY LUNE they were all so adorable, and the sun was shining and the birds were singing, and like three rainbows all appeared in the sky, and I just ran and ran all around with the animals and we played and hugged and snuggled and it was all such a big happy wonderful blur but Mal says it was okay because eventually I passed out from exhaustion and finally got quiet and also because ale.

Is there one event or happening you would like to erase from your past?  Why?

The incident.  Only Miss Cloudy-bear said I should try not to think about the incident.  So, what?

What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?  Color?  Song?  Flower?

Coffee ice cream — I really really like coffee, did you know it helps give you extra energy?  Isn’t that just super?!  And my favorite color is green, and my favorite song is…oh, you know that one?  It always seems to be playing when you walk through the forests.  You know the one?  It goes like this — laaa, la la la laaaaa, la la la laah, luh la lahhh?  It’s so pretty!  I don’t really understand where it’s coming from, though.

mylune2Who do you trust?

Hamuul, and Malfurion, even though Hamuul can be all my cranky-hooves sometimes.  And Mal always seems to be hovering around watching me like he’s looking for something, but I know it’s just because he cares.  I trust all my forest nymph sisters, too, even though a lot of them don’t really hang out with me much.

Can you define a turning point in your life?  Multiples are acceptable.

The incident.  OH MY LUNE!  Why do you keep bringing up the incident?!  I’m not supposed to think about that!  What?  What incident?  Happy thoughts!  HAPPY THOUGHTS!

Is there an animal you equate to yourself?

<Mylune’s eyes go large and dewy>

I have to pick ONE?  But they’re all so SQUEEEEEEE!

How do you react to temperature changes such as extreme heat and cold?

I don’t deal with cold as well as my cousins the frost nymphs, but I really, REALLY don’t like extreme heat!  That’s sounds like something from those burny guys from the Firelands!  You’re not with THEM, are you?!

Are you an early morning bird or a night owl?

I’m always up bright and early!  Why waste the warm snuggly sunlight?

Are you a good cook?  What’s your favorite recipe?

OH MY LUNE why do you keep trying to talk about the incident?  What’s WRONG with you?  Okay, you know what!  Fine!  FINE!  YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?  WE’LL TALK ABOUT IT!  SO YEAH, I’M GOOD MOTHERFUCKING COOK, AS IF YOU DIDN’T ALREADY FUCKING KNOW!  AND YOU KNOW WHAT I COOK REALLY WELL, IT TURNS OUT?  RABBIT FUCKING STEW!  BECAUSE GUESS WHAT, ASSHOLE — SPOILER ALERT: THE DEATH OF THE SOUL TASTES FUCKING DELICIOUS!

Do you have any irrational fears?

Gee, I don’t know, what do you think — maybe I have a deep-seeded fear of HAVING ANOTHER FUCKING BLACKOUT AND WAKING UP AMID THE BODIES AGAIN?  YOU THINK MAYBE THAT KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT?

What would your cutie mark be?

Oooh, well, maybe a heart or a rainbow, or, hey, HOW ABOUT A FUCKING SKULL AND CROSSBONES, BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT IF YOU’RE GOING TO KEEP BRINGING IT UP, YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!

mylune_profile2If you could time travel, where would you go?

WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK I WOULD GO, ASSHOLE?  MAYBE BACK TO THE GODDAMN INCIDENT YOU WON’T STOP FUCKING TALKING ABOUT!  MAYBE I’D LIKE TO TAKE THAT ONE BACK, YA THINK?!

Are you superstitious?

I know karma’s a bitch, I can tell you THAT much!

Describe your hands.  Are they small, long, calloused, smooth, stubby?

COVERED WITH DARK RED STAINS OF LOST INNOCENCE THAT WILL NEVER, EVER COME OUT.  I WASH THEM, AND WASH THEM, AND THEY NEVER COME OUT.

How do you smell?  Do you wear perfume or cologne?

Um… <deep breath>  Smell?  Oh, like smelling salts?  Um…yes, those might be handy.  They’re usually pretty helpful.

Is…is Hamuul around anywhere?  I think I need to talk to him.  I don’t know if the herbs Miss Cloudy-bear gave me are working…

 

Previous Profiles:

  1. Spazzle Fizzletrinket
  2. Ben-Lin Cloudstrider
  3. Dontrag and Utvoch
  4. Taktani
  5. Korrina

* * * * *

[A few quick OOC notes looking ahead:  I have a big stack of material on the way (hopefully) over the next week-plus, then, the weekend after next, remember that we have our next Meta Raid.  Clear your (raid) calendars for Saturday, May 10, at 8:00 PM EDT!

That Saturday (May 10) will also mark the beginning of a short break I’ll be taking from posting — I’m going to take the following week off to tend to RL commitments and do some advance prepping for the next stretch of posts.  To send you off with a bang, though, and to add an extra perk to the Meta Raid, I’m going to have one last post going up that night, right as we’re gathering for our night of SoO hijinks.  (Place your bets now on whether I’m going to cook up something to leave you hanging for a bit…)]

The Tao of Ji Firepaw

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 14, 2014 by Garrosh Hellscream

orgrimmar4

So since that last little…discovery…Liadrin’s been buzzing around Orgrimmar, helping with the relocated refugees.  At least as far as the world at large can see.  Most of the new arrivals have settled in pretty well.  A few are pretty eager for some payback against the Alliance, in fact, so we’ve even gotten a few new recruits out of the deal.

Mostly, though, she’s been helping Shayari get adjusted.  Ordinarily, I wouldn’t be too keen on a blood elf taking up the job of teaching someone what it means to be Horde, but I’ve worked with Liadrin enough to know she’s got a pretty good head on her shoulders.  Plus Shayari already seems to be on decent enough terms with her, so she’s probably going to be more comfortable with Liadrin than she would with some other random person.

Meanwhile, I had a meeting this morning with Krog, who was reporting on a few investigations he was working on while I was in Pandaria.  What he found ended up prompting me to schedule another impromptu meeting this afternoon.

Kicking it over to Tak’s record…

 

(Yay!  I get to be Mr. Warchief’s scribe again!  Mr. Warchief looked super serious, so I guess this was a big important meeting.  Ms. Ben-Lin Panda Lady was there, and so was Mr. Krog, another orc I don’t know too well.  I’m sure he’s nice, though!  Mr. Warchief must have a hard job if he needs so many people to help him!  I hope I do okay!

Mr. Malkorok came in at the start of the meeting, but he only stayed for a minute.  He didn’t look very happy, though.  He should smile more!  I bet he wouldn’t be so grumpy then.  He brought Mr. Goblin and Mr. Ji Panda Man with him.  I think maybe their feet were sore, because Mr. Malkorok was carrying them by their collars.  That’s nice of him!  Maybe he’s starting to be nicer!)

MALKOROK – Here they are, Warchief.  Let me know if they cause you any…difficulty.  (flinging Spazzle and Ji into the room)  I’ll be only too happy to use less of a soft touch to show them out.

(I guess not.  He seems so mean sometimes.  I don’t understand why.  =(  )

GARROSH – That’ll be all for now, Malk.  I’ll check in with you later.

MALKOROK – Yes, sir.  If you’ll excuse me, then, I have a few matters to see to with the provisioners.

(Mr. Malkorok left.  Yay!)

SPAZZLE(rubbing his head)  So… um… what’s going on, boss?  You know if you wanted to see me, you could have just shot me an IM, or—

GARROSH – Yeah, well, I wanted to make sure you got over here without any extra stops along the way.

JI – Oh.  Um… is it a surprise party or something?

(Ooh is it?  I love parties!  Yay!)

GARROSH – Oh, there’ve been some surprises, all right.

JI – Is there cake?

SPAZZLE – Ji…

GARROSH – But this is no party.

(Oh.  =(  )

SPAZZLE – So… what’s up, boss?

(Mr. Warchief looked back at Mr. Krog and Ms. Ben-Lin-Lin.  Then he turned back and stared at Mr. Goblin and Mr. Ji for a minute.  He looked really angry – I wish he wouldn’t get so upset!)

GARROSH – Did you really think I wasn’t going to find out?

SPAZZLE(blinking)  Um…?

JI – I don’t think I underst—

GARROSH – YOU keep quiet, Paddington.  I’ll get to you.  (turning back to Spazzle)  Now then.  Back to you.

SPAZZLE – Uh… okay…

GARROSH – See, I’ve had Krog here looking into a few security matters while I’ve been away.  And, oh man, did he ever have an earful for me this morning.

SPAZZLE – Oh…  So, um… what was Krog… uh… looking into, chie—

GARROSH– Don’t sit there and act like you don’t already know, dammit.  Don’t insult my intelligence on top of everything else.

(Mr. Goblin started looking really nervous.)

GARROSH(pointing to Ji)  Now, THIS one I could understand, because seriously, who knows WHAT Stuffed-With-Fluff here is thinking any given day.  But YOU?  You’re the last one of ANY of these clowns I would have expected to go sneaking around behind my back.

SPAZZLE – I… sneaking around…  (eyes going wide)  Oh… oh frak

GARROSH – OH FRAK IS RIGHT, whatever the fuck it means.  Did you SERIOUSLY think I wasn’t going to find out you were getting mixed up in this Mokvar business?

SPAZZLE – I swear, boss, I only ever talked to Vol—V—ohlOh.  Oh!  Oh…yeah.  The Mokvar business!  Right.  That’s…that’s what I’ve been doing, all right.  Red-handed, yes sir.  That is indeed the entirety of my suspect behavior, absolutely.  Don’t, um, don’t know what I was thinking, chief!  (slapping his own hand repeatedly)  Bad!  Bad Spazzle!

GARROSH – Dude, seriously, you are so fucking weird sometimes.

(Everyone’s so upset today!  It makes me sad.  =(  )

JI – Garrosh, you shouldn’t be angry with Spazzle.  I was the one that—

GARROSH – Believe me, Deep-Dish, there’s PLENTY of blame to go around.  From what I can tell, you’ve BOTH been keeping plenty busy.  MATTER OF FACT – Krog, you wanna give them the short version before they start getting a case of patchwork memory?

KROG – Yes, sir.  (flipping through a note pad)  Shortly after Eitrigg banished Mokvar

GARROSH – Only good move the old prune made while I was away, by the way.

KROG – …Fizzletrinket was observed meeting with Mokvar and the human Deliana in Everlook, Winterspring.

SPAZZLE – Wait, how did you trail me to Everlook?

KROG – I’m a rogue.  Work it out.

SPAZZLE – But why were you observing me?

KROG – I observe everyone.

GARROSH – He’s very thorough.

SPAZZLE – But I hadn’t done anything—

GARROSH – Until you did?

KROG – To continue…  (flipping through pad again)  No unusual behavior observed until some weeks later.  A short time after the purge of Dalaran, Fizzletrinket is known to have reached out to Earthen Ring contacts in and around Orgrimmar.  Shortly thereafter, Firepaw observed traveling to Earthen Ring outpost in Twilight Highlands.  Subsequent investigation indicated Firepaw had approached Earthen Ring elders concerning locating Mokvar.

GARROSH – So.  Here’s where one of you starts talking.  I don’t really care which one.

(Mr. Goblin and Mr. Ji stared at the floor.  Maybe they didn’t hear Mr. Warchief?  Oh, or did someone drop something?)

GARROSH – Okay then.  How about this.  Why weeks of nothing, then all of a sudden you jump into Mokvar mode?  Was it a signal?  Some message he got to you somehow, maybe something you planned for at your little get-together in Winterspring?

JI – We haven’t heard anything from Mokvar, no…

GARROSH – I know he gave you something, Greenie.  Some— what was it, Krog?

KROG – A small parcel, sir.  Delivered to Fizzletrinket in Everlook.  I wasn’t able to confirm what it was exactly.

GARROSH – Yeah.  So…was that part of it?  Or is it some other surprise I get to look forward to?

SPAZZLE – It… it was a totem.

GARROSH – Go on.

SPAZZLE – It’s called a recall totem.  Shamans attune themselves to them so they can teleport back home with their Astral Recall spell.

GARROSH – And Mokvar was giving it to you because…?

SPAZZLE – So… when this was all over…he could bring himself home.

GARROSH – Oh, so you mean, back home to the place he got himself BANISHED from?  And you just went right ahead and helped him set up to pop back into town and do spirits-knows-what he’s planning?

SPAZZLE – It doesn’t really matter at this point…

JI – You don’t know that.

GARROSH – What the hell does that mean?

SPAZZLE – The totem… the totem went out.  It fizzled out.  The spirit link between Mokvar and the totem was broken, and the only reason that would happen is if Mokvar was dead.  Like, for-real dead.

JI – We still can’t be sure.

SPAZZLE – You only say that because you’re not a shaman.  You don’t understand.

JI – I say it because I’m not a pessimist.

SPAZZLE – Anyway.  That’s…that’s why we were trying to reach the Earthen Ring.  To see if there was any way to find out for sure what happened to Mokvar.

GARROSH – You just said he’s dead.  What else is there to know?

SPAZZLE(shrugging)  I don’t know.

GARROSH – Huh.  Dead.  (thinks)  Good then.  Best news I’ve heard all day.

BEN-LIN – Garrosh, please—

GARROSH – Not now, Ben.

BEN-LIN – If he is indeed gone, there is nothing to be gained from—

GARROSH – Ben, CAN it.  So.  You two.  Why?

SPAZZLE(staring down)  I guess I just wanted to believe there was a reason for all the weird things he was doing.

BEN-LIN – Garrosh, it does not appear there was really any harm in—

GARROSH – DAMMIT, BEN, STOP ACTING LIKE MOKVAR WAS SOME POOR INNOCENT VICTIM!  I still don’t understand half the shit he was doing, but I don’t need to.  Dealing with some human, with that Neeru Fireblade…most of all cutting some kind of deal with MAGATHA.  You haven’t been around that long, Ben, so I don’t expect you to have any idea what that MEANS—

BEN-LIN – I understand your anger, Garrosh.  But what Ji and Spazzle have done—

GARROSH – IS THE SAME DAMN THING.  (glaring back at Spazzle and Ji)  Listen… I can deal with the bitching from Baine.  And I can take it from Lorthe’motherfucker, because what else would I expect from him?  And I can take it from Sylvanas, because let’s face it, she’s kind of evil anyway.  They come with the job.  I inherited them.  But THEM… Spazzle and Mokvar… I CHOSE them.  I fucking LET THEM IN.  And now—

BEN-LIN – And now you feel betrayed and angry.  I understand.

GARROSH – Is this where you give me one of your speeches about pushing the anger down and burying it, or some shit?

BEN-LIN – Not at all.  Your emotions are real and valid.  They cannot be contained and ignored, or they will only fester; they must be let out, and dealt with.

GARROSH – Listen, you’re here to help me try to talk sense to Double Stuff over there, not to start fortune cookie-ing on me.

SPAZZLE – Look, chief, I get why you’re mad, and I’m sorry…

JI – I’m not.

GARROSH(blinking)  Excuse me?

BEN-LIN(facepawing)  And here we go.

JI – I’m not sorry.  Mokvar is my friend.  He’s your friend, too.  I don’t know why you’ve chosen to forget that, but I don’t regret trying to help him.

GARROSH – Lunchbox, maybe you just haven’t been paying attention to what the fuck’s been going on, or maybe it all just slipped out of your damn head, what with all the bacon fat you’ve got up there apparently—

SPAZZLE – Whew, and I thought I was in trouble up to a minute ago.

GARROSH – …but I tried to help Mokvar too, when all the weird crap started happening.  I tried to PROTECT him – and he thanked me by running around with at least two and maybe three or four of enemies.  If he was such a great friend, you want to explain to me why he’d be dealing with the likes of Magatha?  Riddle me THAT one, Pudge.

JI – I don’t know.

GARROSH – Yeah, so—

JI – That doesn’t mean he had no reasons for doing what he did.  It only means we don’t know what those reasons were.  Until I find out, why should I assume the worst?

GARROSH – Because you’ve got an ounce of sense in your head?  OH WAIT, APPARENTLY YOU DON’T.

JI – Garrosh, I don’t know all of what Mokvar was doing, but I know he’s a good man.  So whatever he’s done, I’m willing to trust it was what he needed to do.

GARROSH – Yeah, well, that’s great, Second-Serving, but you know what?  Some of us have to live in fucking REALITY-LAND.

JI – Garrosh—

GARROSH – Seriously, Ben, do you hear this shit?

BEN-LIN – I do.

GARROSH – I don’t know where he gets this crap.

BEN-LIN – We study it, sir.

GARROSH – Yeah, well— what?

BEN-LIN – Consider, Garrosh: I know – well, I suspect – you are already familiar with the Huojin philosophy of action, that challenges are to be faced directly and decisively.

GARROSH – Yeah, I remember one of you people yammering about that when you first got here.

JI – That was me.

GARROSH – It was?

JI – Yes, sir.  Right before you made us fight an arena full of monsters.

GARROSH – Ah.  Well then.

BEN-LIN – And while we hold to this ideal of decisive action, Garrosh, another key component for us is that those actions be based upon the world as it is, not as the world as we might wish it to be.

JI – Otherwise, you expend your energy trying to force square pegs into round holes, then raging at the pegs for not fitting.

BEN-LIN – It is a point I have tried to make with you before, Garrosh.  Much of your anger, I feel, stems from insisting of the world, “This is not supposed to be happening this way,” then attempting to force it to happen some other way.

GARROSH – Funny, I feel pretty sure it stems from the fact that I’m surrounded by TRAITORS AND FUCKING MORONS.

KROG – Um…

GARROSH – Not you, K.

BEN-LIN – “Traitors and morons,” as you put it—

GARROSH – FUCKING morons.  Not just garden variety.

BEN-LIN – …being a perception, you see, grounded on the insistence that those people’s choices and intellects should be something other than they are.

GARROSH – I… erm… what the FUCK does any of this have to do with fucking ANYTHING?  I don’t even know what we’re fucking TALKING about!

JI – It’s not that complicated, Garrosh.  Things happen in the right way, at the right time – when you let them, rather than struggling against them.  Mokvar needed to act.  So he followed the path that the world placed before him.  Just as I, faced with a friend in danger, acted by following the path that was available to me.

BEN-LIN – According to Huojin, the greatest wrong would be not to act.

GARROSH – Oh for fuck’s sake… Well, whatever, Heaping-Helping, your “paths” or whatever have reached a dead end.

JI – Actually, I’d wanted to ask you, I was thinking—

GARROSH – Well DON’T.  DON’T think.  Just do what you’re fucking told for once.  Starting with parking yourself at home and staying there.  (turning to Krog)  Krog – escort Stay-Puft here back to his house, and make sure he stays there.  I’ll have a guard sent over to keep an eye on the door.

KROG – Yes, sir.

GARROSH – Consider yourself under house arrest until I decide what to do with you.

JI – But I think there still might be a—

GARROSH – THERE’S NOT.  THE END.  Now GO.

JI – If you say so, Garrosh.  Time will tell, I suppose…

(Mr. Krog left with Mr. Ji.  I’m confused.  Everybody seems so upset and nervous and they’re yelling and arguing and nobody seems to be getting along even though we’re all friends and I don’t understand why.  It gives me sad kitty face.  =(  )

SPAZZLE – Really, chief, try not to be too hard on him.  He’s just been worried since Mokvar disappeared, and—

GARROSH – Why are you talking like you’re off the hook now yourself?

SPAZZLE – Um…

GARROSH – You can count yourself lucky that, far as I can see, you’ve mostly just been the messenger in all this.  And BOTH of you are lucky Mokvar’s gone to the big rez timer in the sky, otherwise I wouldn’t be nearly so generous with either one of you.  But you, Short Stack, you can consider yourself under house arrest too while I cool down.  Just so happens, I’m not so worried about you trying to skip town before I post the guard.

SPAZZLE – Uh…yeah, okay, chief… I guess I can keep myself busy online for a while, while you…you know…think things over.

GARROSH – I mean, seriously, with all the time you spend on Earth Online, you’ve practically been on self-imposed house arrest almost the whole time I’ve known you.  You’ll live.

BEN-LIN – I think it is wise that you are not rushing to a decision with angry, Garrosh.

GARROSH – Yeah, whatever, Ben.  Anyway, Spazzle, you get your tail back home pronto.  I need to go track down Faranell and see if he’s finished those tests on Shayari yet.

BEN-LIN – Shayari?

SPAZZLE – Yeah, she’s…  (stopping himself, looking to Garrosh)  Um, that is…

GARROSH(shrugging)  Whatever, I’d end up telling her anyway.  Shayari’s my daughter.  We think.

BEN-LIN – Your… you have a daughter, Garrosh?

SPAZZLE – It’s okay if you need to sit down.  I did at first.

GARROSH – Yeah, we think so.  Faranell’s doing his tests now, but her story seems to check out.

BEN-LIN – I see.  (thinking)  Well then.  I will clear my schedule for the next week.

GARROSH – Turns out, she was born back in Nagrand when I was like eighteen, only I never knew about her until just a few days ago.

BEN-LIN – So…you have a long-lost, newfound…teenage daughter?

GARROSH – Yeah.

BEN-LIN – Very well.  The next two weeks.

SPAZZLE – You haven’t heard the best part yet.

BEN-LIN – Oh dear.

GARROSH – Uh, yeah, she’s…kind of…well, her mother was draenei.  Shayari was living with the Alliance in Dalaran until, you know, the shit hit the fan and Jaina kicked her out…

BEN-LIN – A month.  One month, but that is as far as I can go.

GARROSH – Anyhow.  I need to go find the doc.  Might as well get this confirmed, as if there’s any doubt left at this point, what with how Mortimer is doting over her.  I’ll expect you back at your house before the guard gets there.  Don’t make me come looking for you, Greenie.

(Mr. Warchief left, still grumbling a little.)

BEN-LIN – A daughter… why that is… How old did you say she is?

SPAZZLE – Seventeen, I think.

BEN-LIN – Goodness, that is…that is simply remarkable!  And he had no idea until now?

SPAZZLE – You wouldn’t ask that if you’d seen the shade of gray he turned when he found out.

BEN-LIN – My word… This is astounding!  Garrosh reunited with an unknown daughter, from across faction lines!  I scarcely have words for it!

SPAZZLE – Huh.  You know, not for anything, but you seem really jazzed about this.

BEN-LIN – Are you kidding?  (beaming)  This is going to put my grandchildren through college.

 

 

[A quick update on the Transmogs for Shayari contest!  First of all, thank you to the many readers who have already sent in outfits for Shay – they’ve been great so far, so keep them coming!  I just wanted to correct an error that I noticed in the original announcement: I had listed the deadline for the contest as Saturday, February 27.  This is problematic, in that February 27 is not a Saturday.  Don’t ask me what happened there.  I was probably having another one of my many episodes.  At any rate, I figure I may as well err on the side of giving people more time rather than less, so let’s revise the due date to the next Saturday after the 27th, which would be March 1.

I think.  Hang on.

<checks calendar all paranoid-like>

Yes, there we go.  So, officially: the deadline for the Transmogs for Shay contest is SATURDAY, MARCH 1!  Get thee to mogging!]

30 Days of Character Development #2: Ben-Lin

Posted in 30 Days of Character Development with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 19, 2014 by Garrosh Hellscream

[Each week, a post will profile one of the blog’s many supporting players.  See the first profile for more details.  Feel free to chime in with recommendations for other characters you’d like to see more about.]

 

benlin_profileName:  Ben-Lin Cloudstrider

Occupation:  Counselor, specializing in meditation and stress/anger management

Age:  57

Race:  Pandaren

Class:  Monk (retired)

Group affiliations:  Horde (member), Huojin Pandaren (member), Shang Xi’s Academy (former student)

Known relatives:  Ting Cloudstrider (daughter), Dewei Cloudstrider (son), Kenji Cloudstrider (husband, deceased)

First appearance:  “Anger management

Key posts and plot points:

  • Ben-Lin met Garrosh – along with many other blog notables – while conducting an anger management seminar in the fittingly titled “Anger management.”  The session proved…less than productive.  Since then, she has continued to meet with Garrosh in an attempt to teach him to better control his temper.  (Admittedly, visible results have been questionable at best, but let’s be fair – she had the deck stacked pretty heavily against her.)
  • Traveled with the Horde expedition to Pandaria and accompanied Garrosh on his first trip to Tian Monastery (“I think I can remember your name”, “Shock the monkey”, “Getting around with the Shado-pan”, and “The geometry of shadows”), where the Warchief first encountered Elder Couldfall.  She also joined Garrosh on a follow-up journey to Tian to recruit Elder Cloudfall’s aid in “Moments of transition.”
  • Worth noting is that Ben-Lin appears to be one of the only people capable of making Garrosh stop and listen with any regularity (such as “ordering” him back to bed while he was sick with the Pandaren flu in “A sniffly Warchief is a cranky Warchief”).  Evidently, the Warchief has trouble holding his ground with greatmotherly women.
  • A few behind-the-scenes notes for those who might be interested: Ben-Lin is a veritable walking bundle of science-fiction referentiality.  The name “Ben-Lin” is a deliberate nod toward another even-tempered mentor figure – and, in fact, the name was largely chosen specifically to set up this joke:
    ben_panelHer last name, “Cloudstrider,” was likewise meant to parallel “Skywalker.”  (Also worth noting – the names of the two pandaren who have become mentors of sorts for Garrosh: Cloudstrider and Cloudfall.)  And, lest the Babylon-5 fans among you feel neglected (I know you’re out there!) – Ben-Lin’s outfit and, to a lesser extent, speech patterns were designed to be reminiscent of the B5 character Delenn.

In her own words:

What is your most prominent physical feature?

I have been told that my eyes are fairly distinctive.  They are violet, which is highly uncommon among pandaren, and held by many among our people to be a sign of inner balance.  This was pointed out to me many times as a small child, though my parents would likely have held me as a counterexample at the time.

Describe your happiest memory.

Ironically, the passing of my husband Kenzi.  This is not to say that I wished his death, or that I do not miss him dearly.  He was some years older than me, and had been in poor health in his final months.  The night he died – he knew the end was close – we sat and reflected on our life together.  There was no sadness or regret.  Each memory served only to remind us how much more this life had given us than we could ever fairly have asked.  He held my paw, and thanked me for making him young, then passed away peacefully.  I did not feel grief.  I felt – and continue to feel – grateful.

Is there one event or happening you would like to erase from your past?  Why?

No.  I believe that every step of our journey is a part of what makes us who we are.  I have had misfortunes and hurts, as do we all, but they have all left remainder that has helped to shape me.  Without any one of them, I do not know who I would have become.

C3_4-5Can you define a turning point in your life?  Multiples are acceptable.

There are two: my coming to Shang Xi’s Academy, and my departure from the Wandering Isle to begin a new life among the Horde.  Each marked the beginning of a new adventure.  The first began in my youth and opened a world to me of learning, friendship, love, enlightenment – all of which are, of course, different words seeking vainly to express the same thing.  I look forward to discovering where the second will take me.

How are you with technology?  Super savvy, or way behind the times?  Letters or e-mail?

I am almost comically inept with most machinery.  Much of it is new to me; having lived almost my entire life on the Wandering Isle, I was not in a position to keep up with the latest inventions.  This is likely for the best.  Given my poor skill level, exposure to the latest technologies would only have provided me with new and better ways to embarrass myself.  Letters, most certainly.  I do not have the e-mail.  To this day, I know the internet only by reputation.  (That reputation does not, by and large, inspire me to investigate further.)

What does your bed look like when you wake up?  Are the covers off on one side of the bed, are they all curled around a pillow, sprawled everywhere?  In what position do you sleep?

My bed tends to be relatively tidy, and I make it each morning after rising.  I sleep on my back; I am a very deep sleeper, and usually do not stir very much during the night.

Are you an early morning bird or a night owl?

An early morning bird.  I wake each morning just before dawn.  Wherever I live, I always take care to have a window that faces east, so that I may watch the sun rise.

Are you a good cook?  What is your favorite recipe?

I cannot say that I am an expert cook, but I am told that my wildfowl ginseng soup is quite good.  I wish I could have inherited my father’s skill with the steamer; I often miss his steamed crab surprise.  I have tried many times to recreate it.  The result often tries even my discipline over my temper.

C4_2-1What’s your preferred means of travel?

I prefer to travel by foot when possible.  If not, I am adequately proficient in the use of Pandaren kites.  I prefer not to employ animal mounts, as I suspect they have destinations of their own that they would prefer over mine.

Do you have any irrational fears?

Is there any other kind?

What might your ideal romantic partner be?

My years of study and meditation tell me that it is unwise to cling to some imagined ideal; such perfect fantasies serve only to impoverish our appreciation of the reality before us, beautiful often precisely for its flaws.

My heart, however, tells me: Kenji.  Again, I am grateful.

Are you superstitious?

I am a mother of three.  Hardly can one say that, without having spent many hours with crossed fingers.

How do you smell?  Do you wear perfume or cologne?

Though my sense of smell, I would venture, is unremarkable, I do have a sensitive nose, which most perfumes tend to irritate.  My one compensation is that I often let snow lilies soak in the water before washing my fur.

 

[OOC note: Running a little behind on posts after a bit of a trying week.  Luckily, there’s a lot in the pipeline, so we should have some relatively rapid-fire posting this week, including, yes, the follow-up to that last little freakout-inspiring nugget.  Also stay tuned for news and announcements concerning the return of the Friends-of-WCB meta raid!]

Burdens of the spirit

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 14, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

cradleofchiji

After the disaster with the Divine Bell, I spent a couple days channeling old-Nagrand-Garrosh – brooding and moping in my quarters here at Domination Point.  Other than occasional tactical reports from General Nazgrim, most people had the good sense to leave me to myself.  Hell, even Dontrag and Utvoch managed to keep their yaps shut for a couple days.  This may or may not be related to me slapping them around several times when I first got back to the base.

The time to myself gave me the chance to think more about where to go from here.  After what went down at the Emperor’s Reach, it’s painfully obvious that I need to start taking matters into my own hands.  Trouble is, in practical terms, I’m not sure what that actually ENTAILS.  So, one step at a time: Time to act one the one avenue I have open to me, and worry about what comes next when I get there.  Elder Cloudfall told me he could help prepare me for my destiny, or however he fortune-cookied it, so it’s time to take him up on the offer.

Granted, I’m not exactly thrilled about what little I’ve heard about that Kypari Zar place, so a few more answers might be nice.  Any bets on whether I’ll actually get them?

Anyway, I had some trouble tracking down Cloudfall at first.  He wasn’t anywhere on the base, and Ben-Lin didn’t know where he’d wandered off to.  Finally, Jorn Skyseer told me he’d been talking with Cloudfall about some of the areas nearby that our hunting parties have been hitting up, and he pointed me toward the island to the east.  The one where the trainees used to go crane hunting when we first set up shop here in Pandaria.

I flew over to the island, with Taktani in tow.  Cloudfall was sitting on a rock along the shore.  He and Zhi-Zhi were sitting back to back in one of those meditation poses that look like they would hurt your legs like hell, eyes closed, off in their own little world.

 

GARROSH – Hey, Gramps.

(Mr. Elder Panda man and his money friend just keep sitting on the rock and being quiet.)

GARROSH – Elder?

(Elder Panda still doesn’t respond.)

GARROSH – Hello?  Chimps?  Anybody home?

(Mr. Monkey didn’t answer either.  I hope his ears are okay!)

GARROSH(tapping Zhi-Zhi on the shoulder)  Hey, Banana Boy!

ZHI-ZHI(jumping, startled)  AAAH!  Oh…oh, the One!  Much apologizing, Zhi-Zhi did not see you, was thinking great thoughts.

GARROSH – Uh, yeah, whatever.  So listen, I… Hang on.  (turning to me)  Tak?

TAKTANI – Hi!

(Mr. Warchief kind of stared at me for a minute.  Maybe he forgot what he was going to say?)

GARROSH – Yeah, hi.  So now that we’ve met, is there a reason why you’re not, y’know, writing anything down?

TAKTANI – Oh!  I’m sorry, Mr. Warchief.  I forgot to bring my paper.

GARROSH – You…forgot.

TAKTANI – I left it back in my room!

GARROSH – You realize that’s the ENTIRE reason I bring you places, right?

TAKTANI – Don’t be mad!  I’m sorry!

(Mr. Warchief rubbed his eyes and forehead for a minute.  I think maybe his eyes were sore because of how sunny it was.  I should give him some sunglasses for his birthday!  Does anyone know when his birthday is?)

GARROSH(still rubbing his eyes)  Of all your crimes, Mokvar, this may be the most grating…

TAKTANI – I don’t understand, Mr. Warchief.

GARROSH – Never mind.  Okay, look, Tak, you’re not off the hook yet.  You just made some extra homework for yourself.

TAKTANI – But I’m not in school, Mr. Warchief!

GARROSH – Yeah, well, maybe this will teach you lesson #1: Don’t forget the tools of your damn trade!

TAKTANI – I’m sorry!  :(

GARROSH – So…here’s what you’re going to do.  Most of the sand around here looks pretty wet.  So YOU, little miss Swiss Cheese Brain, can just sit yourself down and write your notes in the sand, and then come back with your paper and copy it later.

TAKTANI – Ooh, that sounds fun!

GARROSH – BEFORE THE DAMN TIDE COMES IN.  (sighs)  Okay.  So.  Back to you, monkey boy.  What’s up with Old Man Furball here?  Is he off in some weird panda brain-freeze zone or something?

(While Mr. Warchief was talking, I started writing everything in the sand like he said, like this and this and this and YAY this is fun!  Oh and I did like he said and came back later to copy it all down and I even brought Mr. D and Mr. U to help check my spelling, because they’re smart and nice.  And SEE, Mr. Warchief, I got it all done just like you said!  Oh oh oh but while I was writing it out, there was a seagull flying around, and it pooped on the first page.  I hope you notice it’s there before you touch it.)

 

I didn’t.

 

ZHI-ZHI – Ah, ah, yes, Elder Cloudfall is in deep meditation.  Much more focused than Zhi-Zhi.  As matter of fact, Elder has been teaching Zhi-Zhi meditation techniques, teaching to block out everything around Zhi-Zhi.  Will help to center Zhi-Zhi.

GARROSH – So you can think more great thoughts.

ZHI-ZHIAhh!  You are understanding!

GARROSH – So how long does it usually take for Captain Comatose to come back out of these—

CLOUDFALL(not moving, eyes still closed)  I can hear you, Warchief Garrosh.

ZHI-ZHI – Elder!

GARROSH – So, Gramps, if you could hear me, any particular reason you didn’t answer me before?

CLOUDFALL(continuing to keep his eyes closed)  I was in the midst of pursuing a line of thought.  I felt it more pressing that I complete it.

GARROSH – Isn’t it kind of rude to just ignore people when they talk to you?

CLOUDFALL – Is it not rude to interrupt people who are clearly meditating?

ZHI-ZHI – But, erm, Elder, you are hearings all the transpiringses…um…were we not practicing our deep meditation exercises?

CLOUDFALL – I have been practicing these techniques since before your great grandmother was born, Zhi-Zhi.

GARROSH – So anyway, now that you’re done with that—

CLOUDFALL – I’m not.

GARROSH – You’re what?

CLOUDFALL – As I said, Warchief Garrosh, I have been availing myself of the peace and solitude of the beach to think.

GARROSH – Um, okay?

CLOUDFALL – I’m not finished.

(Mr. Panda Elder still hadn’t opened his eyes, and now he settled back into place more.)

GARROSH – Hang on, you’re seriously going to blow me off so you can fucking go back to…whatever, going over your grocery list or backtracking to wherever you left your keys, or whatever the fuck you’re doing?

(Mr. Panda didn’t say anything.)

GARROSH(to Zhi-Zhi)  Is he for real?

ZHI-ZHI(shrugs and waves one hand)  Is easier not trying to argue, truths to telling.

CLOUDFALL – There.  (opens his eyes, stands, and turns to Garrosh)  Now I am finished.

GARROSH – Well yay.

TAKTANI – Yay!

GARROSH – DON’T START.

TAKTANI – Oh.  :(

GARROSH – So do you mind telling me what was so important that it couldn’t wait?

(Mr. Panda man looked around the beach a few times.)

CLOUDFALL – Your pupil, Gurtash, and his peers.  I understand they used to come here on occasion.

GARROSH – Oh.  Yeah.  They used to go hunting here.

CLOUDFALL(nods)  This is a sacred place, you know.  The Cradle of Chi-Ji, the Great Crane.

GARROSH – Look, if you’re going to start complaining that they came here to—

CLOUDFALL – You misunderstand me, Warchief Garrosh.  I did not come here to pass judgment.  I came merely to visit a place of some import to the youths, away from the bustle of your fortifications, and allow them to enter my thoughts.

GARROSH – Ah.  Yeah.  They’ve been in mine a lot lately, too.

CLOUDFALL – Indeed.

(Mr. Warchief got kind of quiet and Mr. Panda man stayed quiet for a minute too and watched him.)

CLOUDFALL – In any case, I’m sure you did not seek me out to revisit such things.  How may I be of help to you?

GARROSH – By doing what you came here for in the first place.  You said you could help me get ready for this great destiny of mine.

CLOUDFALL – Indeed.  Or rather, I believe I can help you to meet it.  Whether it will prove to be great or not will be very much up to you.

GARROSH – Well, either way, you said that this Kypari Zar place is where he need to go to get started.  So, whenever you’re ready to go, let’s go.

CLOUDFALL – I also told you that you carry many shadows with you.

GARROSH – Kind of the point of us going to that Zar place, right?

CLOUDFALL – Indeed.  But you carry more now.  Perhaps needlessly.

GARROSH(sighs)  Can you bottom-line this, maybe, or are you going to do a whole speech again?

ZHI-ZHI(waving his hand)  Really much easier not to tryings with the arguings.

CLOUDFALL(pointing northward)  The temple to the north.  That is where the…calamity occurred?

GARROSH – Yeah, don’t remind me.

CLOUDFALL – Have you gone there since then?

GARROSH – No.

CLOUDFALL – You should.

GARROSH – Look, Gramps, I get that you’re probably going for some kind of hippie closure crap here, but if you think it’s actually going to IMPROVE my mood to go up there and find a bunch of—

CLOUDFALL – Warchief Garrosh, no facts that you find there will be so damaging to the soul as the nightmares your mind has conjured in their absence.

GARROSH(looking north)  Yeah, maybe.

CLOUDFALL – And in the process, you may allow yourself the opportunity to bring one lesser shadow with you on our journey.

GARROSH(sighs)  You’re just going to stonewall me until I go, aren’t you?

ZHI-ZHI – Really not worth tryings to—

GARROSH(slapping Zhi-Zhi)  Shut it, Spanks.

CLOUDFALL – Kypari Zar will still be there when you are done.

GARROSH(turns and starts to walk toward Mortimer)  Yeah, fine.  I’ll drop little miss Happy Kitty here off at the base, and get a couple things squared away, then…  (stops, then looks back at Cloudfall)  You know, I’ve heard of that Kypari Zar place before.

CLOUDFALL(perks an eyebrow)  Oh?

GARROSH – Last year.  I didn’t even know what “Kypari Zar” was.  But someone in…high places…told me if I went there, I would die.

CLOUDFALL(nods slowly)  You may.  In fact, you will.

GARROSH – Not the best sales pitch, Gramps.

CLOUDFALL – You will die if you go there.  But then, you will die if you do not.  Just as I will die if I take you, and I will die if I do not.  That we will die is assured, Warchief Garrosh.  The only question is how, and when, and why.

GARROSH – That’s a cop-out and you know it.

CLOUDFALL – I know no such thing.

GARROSH(shrugs and climbs onto Mortimer)  Well, whatever.  I’ve got enough on my mind these days, what’s one more thing, right?

CLOUDFALL – If I might make a suggestion, Warchief Garrosh.  A great many years ago, a former mentor offered me certain words of solace.  A phrase of great power and wisdom, and consolation to the soul in times of need.

GARROSH – What’s that?

CLOUDFALL – Have a drink.  Next one’s on me.

 

Not the worst idea in the world, actually.  I might head downstairs and see what we have on tap.  Meanwhile, I’m going to put a couple things in order here at the base, then take Mortimer back out for a flight over to the Temple of the Red Crane.  For better or worse.

More soon.

Anger leads to hate

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 30, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

dominationpoint5

So, a couple hundred dead Lion’s Landing troops later, and I’m still not feeling a hell of a lot better.

After the news came in from the Temple of the Red Crane about the Alliance attack, I sent Garona with a small stealth team to see if they could assess the damage.  When she got back last night, she reported that there was a limit to how close they could get, but from what she could tell, the losses were as bad as we’d thought.  Apparently the Alliance set up traps around the perimeter of the temple, then baited our troops right into them.  Honorable human tactics at their finest.  Anyway, at that point, the way was clear for them to move in and finish off the rest of our forces.

Still too soon to get any kind of solid count on casualties, or, for that matter, if there were any prisoners taken.  But so far, the only people accounted for as alive are the runners that Scargash sent to Domination Point near the end.

Ben-Lin spent a big chunk of the day yesterday trying to persuade me to come have a sit-down with her.  And Cloudfall – who still doesn’t even really know his way around the base in the first place – popped in once or twice to try to fortune-cookie his way through some business about the serenity to accept those things that can’t be changed, or some shit like that, and then some other crap about anger often being an “outward projection of inner recrimination,” and you know what?  I’m not in a mood to listen to those two right now.  I’m not interested in calming the fuck down.  I’m way past that.  And you know what else, Elder?  I don’t need you waddling around in philosophical circles about centering myself and understanding who I’m really mad at.

I KNOW who I’m mad at.  But I can only KILL the damn humans.

I’ll take my comforts where I can get them, thanks.

I should have known better – for one thing – than to treat that temple as an easy-pickings mission and send a small force.  Send a bunch of…just a small force.  No overwhelming numbers.  No heavy armaments.  Which was stupid.  At this point, I shouldn’t be leaving ANYTHING to chance, pulling ANY punches, holding back ANYTHING.  If we’re going to do something at all, we need to be going all out.  Every operation, the goal shouldn’t be to win, period – it should be to win, EMPHATICALLY.  I said the other day that I need to start going at this war with both barrels, and look at me, right off the bat trying to half ass the operation at the temple.  And spirits know how many good people died because of it.

Because of me.

Because of those smirking, pink-skinned, two-legged rodents that I’ve allowed to continue infesting this world.  Because of them, I have the blood of children on my hands.  But it’ll be replaced by other blood soon enough, mark my words.  Human blood.  But not children.  Because I’m not just stronger than them.  I’m BETTER than them.  So they call us savages all they want — I won’t be sinking to their level.  No, no children.  But their parents?  Oh, oh, their parents.

I hope the Stormwind orphanage has lots of room.

So…moving on.

I have a few ideas for how we can still turn this around, starting with the damned Divine Bell situation.  Involving a certain ace we still have in the hole.  But better not to elaborate on that too much until I’ve after put a few things in motion.  More updates soon.

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