Roundhouse cleave to the face

I’ve got a return trip to Hearthglen lined up for tomorrow, but between then and now I figured I’d put in a little game time.  In this case, though, I got to unveil a little surprise to the rest of the guild…


[You have logged on.]

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  oh wow thats freaky

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  yeah, that’s really weird

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Oh you’ve got no idea.  This guy was a flake even by Mylune standards.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  hi garrosh

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  heya boss

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Sup, guys

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Hey, chief.  I was just telling everyone about Tembw’bam out in ZG.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  hello sir

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  I kind of wish I’d been there to see it, sounds like he was a real hoot

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  You could say that, yeah…

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  wait could he turn into an owl too?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Not that kind of a hoot.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  theres different kinds?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  wow your an idiot

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  I mean I think he sounds entertaining

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  oh

[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] has logged on.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  he sounds like kind of a moron if you ask me

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  are you talking about tembwbam or dontrag?

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hey Sylvanas

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Does it really matter, as far as accuracy?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Hello, Spazzle.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  lol

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  tembwbam

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Haha

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  no i’m dontrag

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Are you sure?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I thought you were Utvoch.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  no he’s utvoch

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  i’m utvoch

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  yah thats what i said

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  only i said he instead of i

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Hmm, I could swear you were Utvoch, Dontrag.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  You really do enjoy messing with them, don’t you?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  huh are you sure

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  no she cant be sure if she’s wrong

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I hardly think I’m wrong.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  In fact, I’m quite sure you’re Utvoch, Dontrag.

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  haha

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  huh so that would make me dontrag?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  no your not dontrag utvoch

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Can you blame me, really?

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  i dont know, she seems pretty sure

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Look at them.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  she’s messing with you you moron

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  lol this is epic

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  It’s like spinning a dog around hundreds of times, and then playing catch with it.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  See what I mean?  Plenty of moron to go around…

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  lol, ok point taken

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Not so.  I’m pretty sure most dogs could outwit either of them.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  she is?  oh damn

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So anyway… Yeah, the dude from ZG was a piece of work.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  oh so speaking of which, garrosh

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  how come you wanted a rogue for the trip to STV and you didn’t invite me?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Oh for fuck’s sake…

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  i know i’ve told you about how i like the beaches down there

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I’m sure you did

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  right, so?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Whether I was listening at the time is a whole other question

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  haha

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  ouch!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  omg

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  seriously though why would you take krog instead?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Hang on, tabbing out

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  oh sure, tab out now

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  ugh

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I wouldn’t worry about it too much, Garona.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I’m sure the Warchief had his reasons.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  yea well we’ll see

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Okay, so what’s the catch there going to be?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  There’s no catch.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I’m not *always* trolling, you know.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  ok so dontrag and i just went over this and we’re pretty sure he’s dontrag and i’m utvoch

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Well I’m glad we’ve finally been able to put this mystery to rest.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Okay, back

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  i know, that was going to bother me till we figured it out

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I had to help someone get set up on the game

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  New player so I’ve been having to walk him through setting it up

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  oh cool, anyone we know?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Haha, yep

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Nice, who is it?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  You’ll see in a minute

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  did you remember to use your refer-a-friend for them?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Oh hell yes

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I want my hang glider

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  oh ok

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Okay, here we go

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  This is going to be epic

[ChuckNorris | Saurfang] has joined the guild.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  welcome Chuck

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  hi chuck

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So yeah, you guys might know ChuckNorris here better by his real life name, Varok Saurfang

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  whoa

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  holy shit!

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Oh HELL yes!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Haha, yeah, I finally convinced him to give it a try for the freebie month

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Greetings, High Overlord!

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  welcome, sir!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Saurfang, if you type /g it’ll set your chat line to type here in the guild chat

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  greetings overlord

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  is this working?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yup

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  reading you loud and clear, sir

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  ah, there we are.  greetings and honor to you all, friends.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Welcome to the guild, Overlord.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  LivinDeadGrl here is Sylvanas, Saurfang

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  a pleasure to ‘see’ you, as it were, dark lady

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  And you as well, Overlord.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  no need here for such formality, dark lady.  we are all soldiers of the horde and friends here; ‘varok’ will suffice.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Or Rokky

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Haha!  Rokky it is!

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  no, most certainly not ‘rokky’

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Yes, sir, Rokky struck from the record, check.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Anyway, Saurfang, let me do the quick introductions here, so you know who’s who

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  We covered Sylvanas… Bartleby is Mokvar… MrBadcrumble is Spazzle Fizzletrinket, I think you met him a couple times…

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  ahem

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Ugh, fine.  Nightengayle is Garona…

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  a pleasure as always, Saurfang!

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  And SteveKravitz and GilbertRose are Dontrag and Utvoch, in some order, nobody really remembers which

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  i’m dontrag

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Also nobody really gives a shit

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  sorry our existence isn’t more relevant sir

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  a moment, i should note all this down.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I’ll hook you up later with a mod that will let you add a note to people’s names in-game to help keep track of everyone

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  If you need help with anything while you’re getting the hang of the game, sir, don’t be reluctant to speak up

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  yeah we can definitely help give you an armed escort wherever

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  many thanks to you all, friends.  i suspect it will take some doing before I am adequately acclimated to the environment here

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Also, Sylvanas?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Yes, Warchief?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  If you start asking him about the warlocks or what Dranosh means again, I will end you

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I can’t imagine why you would think such a thing of me, Warchief…

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  so what class are you playing, saurfang?

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  i believe this is called a ‘texas ranger’

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  oh hey i bet sylvanas could show you a lot about that class

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  No

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  uh no

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  no

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  i thought she was a ranger

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Not that kind of ranger

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  is she a different spec or something?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  spirits help me i wish i could stunlock people over the internet sometimes

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I’m a Dark Ranger.  It’s not the same thing.

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  so the ranger talent trees are dark, texas and what else?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Utvoch

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  yes sir

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Stop talking before I come over there and chop you up into many many tiny little pieces

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  yes sir

[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch]  sorry sir

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  At any rate, I had really only come on to check on my auctions.  I need to leave for a meeting for the moment.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  later, Sylvanas

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  bye BQ

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  farewell, dark lady.  honor go with you.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Back soon!  ^_^

[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] has logged off.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  So I’m guessing you’re at the ranch starting zone, Saurfang?

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  it would appear so, yes

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  there appears to be a peculiarly liveried human here who, inexplicably, has an exclamation point hovering above his head.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  that means he has a quest for you

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Right-click on him and he’ll show you a write-up of what he wants you to do.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  ah, interesting.  a moment…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I’ll head over to the starter zone in a minute and give you a few dollars to get you going

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  did you get the quest, Saurfang?

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  a moment, i’m still reading.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Ah, he must be reading all the quest text.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  People do that?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Apparently.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  indeed.  i would hate to overlook some critical detail, as i’m sure this ‘rancher’ fellow’s monologue must include information that will hold some importance later on.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  oh wow, that’s so cute

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Well, he’s new.  No harm in taking his time and soaking it all in.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  it appears i am needed to acquire a hot iron and brand six of the cattle in the nearby pens.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  the branding iron should be kind of shining now, so you can spot it

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  i must say, this does not at the outset appear to be the sort of heroic undertaking i might have supposed a fantasy adventure would present.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  The early quests are pretty simple, so you can get used to the game mechanics

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  To be fair, the quests never exactly get particularly complicated.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Well yeah, but at least you get some bigger and badder stuff to fight.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Eventually as you level up, you get new zones opened up for you to quest in, too

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  There’s also an expansion coming up that’s going to add a whole new continent to the game

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  have they announced a release date yet for land down under?

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  I doubt he’ll be max level before Down Under comes out, though.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  yeah, LDU’s coming out in like another month and a half

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  well then, that mission is completed, uninspiring though it was.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  he should have a follow-up for you now

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  indeed.  a moment while i read.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  someday when he’s all hardcore and speeding through quests we’ll look back at this and laugh

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  haha

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Watch, in a week he’ll be better than all of us

[Officer][Bartleby | Mokvar]  He’s Saurfang, he probably already is.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  hmm, so it would seem that the ranch’s livestock has taken losses recently due to itinerant vermin.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  i am being called upon to hunt down some dozen of the coyotes lurking about and slay them.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  There you go, that should be more up your alley

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  i will grant that this mission sounds a bit more promising, although i’m at something of a loss as to why the rancher would specify twelve of the creatures.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  if the vermin are proving problematic, would it not make more sense for me to stay at my task until they have been eliminated altogether?

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  respawn timer would make that a real pain

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  It’s probably best not to overthink these things.

[Nightengayle | Garona] has earned the achievement [Level 50]!

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  grats

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Grats, Garona!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  whew, finally

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  and thanks

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  now to start gearing

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  hmm, that coyote died rather easily.

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  I would imagine you’re used to that happening.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  indeed.

[Guild][ChuckNorris | Saurfang]  now for the next animal.  i appear to have an ability called ‘roundhouse kick’; let me see what it does on this one.

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  go for it

[You have been disconnected.]










[You have logged on.]

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  what was that??

[Bartleby | Mokvar] has logged on.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Damned if I know…

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] has logged on.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  did you guys just get knocked off too?

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  i swear that wasn’t me this time…

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  Yeah, I did.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Same here

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hmm let me check something

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  that was so weird

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, I can’t remember that ever happening to me before

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Even when my internet cuts out, it doesn’t just boot me right away I like that, I end up just hanging for a couple minutes first

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  oh wow

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  it looks like the whole server got knocked offline for a minute

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  oh yikes

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  i wonder what caused it

[Guild][Bartleby | Mokvar]  You know, come to think of it…

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Well, either way, Saurfang is probably all confused now

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Let me go see if I can track him down and get him situated again

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I’ll be back in a few maybe…

[Guild][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  later boss

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  bye garrosh

[You have logged off.]


“Perhaps I should stick to this Saronite Sweeper game instead…”

6 Responses to “Roundhouse cleave to the face”

  1. Charles Jenkins Says:

    I love it when things come together.

  2. Tandeleina Says:

    [Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] spirits help me i wish i could stunlock people over the internet sometimes


    This. A thousand times this, a thousand times over.

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