Archive for where’s garrosh?

Monday mailbag

Posted in Mailbag with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 20, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

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Okay, so finally I can get to normal business like answering my reader mail!  As a matter of fact, there’s a TON of it that’s piled up while I was away, so it’s probably going to take some doing to get through it all.  So here we go…

 

Hail, Acting Warchief!

I look forward to Garrosh’s speedy return. This is a continuation of an earlier question our esteemed Warchief answered for me, that I have discovered new information about.

To recap: I was confused about the use of flags to mark supply drops in Ashenvale, and the capture thereof to interfere with enemy resupply. Originally, my question was how this behavior had spread to the Dragonmaw as well. Recently, I had the opportunity to put the question to a Dragonmaw quartermaster … and the answer is head-slappingly obvious in hindsight.

Twilight Highlands is nowhere near as congested as Ashenvale. But, it is ABSOLUTELY ankle-breaker country. You’re not getting anything in by land. At least, not without losing a lot if it to ambush.

So, yeah. Stealing the enemy’s flags makes excellent sense here, too.

And best wishes for our Warchief’s return to duty. If there is anything this Blood Knight can do to assist, I can be found at the Wayfarer’s Rest in Silvermoon, when I’m not on-call with the Horde Medical Corps.

–A Concerned Citizen

Huh.  Okay, I guess this one was a leftover letter for Saurfang from when he was minding the shop.

Anyway, though, ACC, good to hear from you again.  And yeah, I guess it makes sense that the Dragonmaw would be adopting the same flag-marking methods that we were originally using in Warsong Gulch.  I’m actually kind of relieved that there’s some sense behind what they’re doing, considering how lately the Dragonmaw have been…um…kind of shaky in terms of how on top of things they seem to be.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Zaela and all.  She’s a good warrior.  But you know, there’s a difference between being a good warrior and being a good person to have in charge of things, you know?  And like, with Zaela, sheesh.  Not the brightest bulb.  If there’s a big fight coming, sure thing, I want her fighting on my side.  But if there’s something going on that requires you to have your wits about you, or able to wrap your brain around something bigger than “me see, me smash”?  Yeah, not so much.

 

Greetings again, Your Warchieferousness!

Thank you for your reply re: the housing issue in Orgrimmar. It’s unfortunate that you can’t solve this issue with the same speed with which former acting Warchief Hellscream created it, by unilateral fiat – but then I suppose if he had bothered to investigate before spewing his frankly racist edict we wouldn’t have this problem, would we? I shall, as suggested, look into Razor Hill in the interim.

With regards to to baking, I’m afraid my skills in that area of cooking extend little past spice bread and tasty cupcakes – like many self-employed aggressive problem solvers, my culinary skills revolve around making use of things I slaughter horribly on my travels. Also, as a Knight of the Ebon Blade I bear the “blessing” of the Lich King in the form of an unfortunate addiction to causing pain and suffering … there are ways and means to alleviate it, but you may wish to avoid my cooking.

Regarding the issue of pseudonyms, I think I’ll pass – every second Death Knight Arthas raised during the Battle for Light’s Hope decided that being Joe Smith, formerly of Goldshire, was not sufficiently “grimdark” enough for a soldier in the Lich King’s service, and changed his name to “Darkreaper of the Nightfall” or something similarly pretentious and absurd. Some of them, seeking to emphasize their existence as agents of the Lich King’s will, changed their names to “Arthas”! Not that they can spell it, mind. I suspect the Lich King left them too long before he raised them.

(Koltira “Deathweaver”? Used to be Koltira Twillweaver, of Goldenmist Village. Though he was a pretentious ass then, too.)

Yours,

Twilight Vanquisher Aimee

Knight of the Ebon Blade (still not the cake vendor)

Still the Goblin Frickin’ Slums

The FUCK is this?!  Okay so this is another one for Saurfang I guess, I get that, fine, makes sense he’d have some follow-up mail from the last few weeks…but DUDE!  How much hate mail was he GETTING about me?!  Frankly racist edict by unilateral fiat WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!!

But ANYWAY, as far as YOU go, Aimee (OH NO, look out, AIMEE is pissed at me – watch out or she might write an angsty mid-tempo acoustic guitar ballad about me and take me down a few pegs with her bitter understated irony!), you go right on ahead and find yourself a nice comfy place down in Razor Hill.  Keep an eye on the kids down there while you’re at it, that should be a job you can stay on top of no problem.  In the meantime we orcs and tauren will take care of the real job of defending Orgrimmar, Corpsey McBoneyknees.

Anyway, there’s got to be some mail in here somewhere that’s actually for ME…

 

Hi Omgipwnedurface,

Just thought you should know you’ve been kicked from the guild.  You should have been trying to make a good impression if you wanted to pass your trial, but you haven’t given us any reason to keep you.  You didn’t show up for two raids you signed up for and you haven’t logged on for, like, weeks.  It’s really inconsiderate to just disappear without warning and leave us hanging like that.  Would have been nice for you to at least drop us a note before you vanished.

Good luck finding a new guild,

Manageurdeath

Guild Leader

[West Coast Avengers]

THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!?!

Okay, okay, so for anyone who’s not connecting the dots yet – this guy is my guild leader (or, well, he WAS my guild leader) from the Earth Online guild I just joined.  Well, the guild I just joined as of like a month ago, right before the whole Alcaz Island deal.  I haven’t logged on since I’ve been back, what with me being a little busy PUTTING MY LIFE BACK IN ORDER, but APPARENTLY I’ve just been kicked out of the guild!

Because yeah, you know what, you’re right, Manageurdeath, that was really inconsiderate for me not to give you guys a heads up that I was going to be away a few weeks DUE TO BEING FUCKING KIDNAPPED!  Oh wait, did I mention the part where I was dragged to a Twilight’s Hammer stronghold where I was going to be used in a fucking BLOODLETTING CEREMONY to have the FUCKING SPIRIT OF CHO’GALL BURN OUT MY SOUL AND TAKE UP RESIDENCE IN MY FUCKING BODY?  Did I mention that part??

You’re right, dude, I TOTALLY should have cleared this with you to make sure it would be adequate justification for me missing out on the fucking Board of Directors raid we had scheduled!

HOLY FUCKING FUCK’S SAKE.

Actually, you know what, hold on.  I need to find Spazzle for a second.  You guys hold tight for a minute.  Here, funny video to kill some time while I’m doing this:

OKAY, so I just tracked down Spazzle and had him trace that e-mail from the guild guy to find out where this fucker is from.  I was expecting him to be from someplace way out in the middle of nowhere, where he’s got nothing to do but play this game and think he’s all hot shit for being the guild leader, because for fuck’s sake guild leaders always seem so fucking full of themselves, but anyway, check THIS out – turns out this guy is logging on from Theramore.

FUCKING THERAMORE.

The guild I was in was being run by some goddamn fucking ALLIANCE, and not even an Alliance from someplace fucking IMPORTANT, no, run by an Alliance stuck out in the run-down town out in the middle of the fucking swamp where there’s nothing for those assholes to do but bang Jaina all day, only THIS fucker doesn’t even seem to be able to pull THAT off seeing as he’s fucking logged onto the game 37 hours a day!

So you know what, I’ll tell you this, Manageurdeath, I don’t know who you are exactly, but I’m going to fucking find out, and WHOEVER you are, mark my words, you have fucked with the WRONG ORC.  Enjoy your little podunk swamp town while you can, because I’m telling you right now, somehow, someday, I am going to open up such a can of fucking DISASTER on that place, you and all your little Jainabanging friends aren’t going to know what even fucking HIT you.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

UGH.  Okay, so there’s still a pretty big pile of mail, but I’m in NO mood to deal with any more of this shit today, so I promise I’ll answer as much of it as I can next Monday.  In the meantime, keep it coming.  I’ll talk to you all later when I’m not dreaming dreams of ruins in the fucking swamp.

UGH!!!

Filling in the gaps

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 19, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

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Okay, I was planning on writing this a lot earlier, but I ended up sleeping WAY late that first night back in Orgrimmar, which had me up late last night, and blah blah, up-late-sleeping-in domino effect.  Any of you who’ve gotten into a late-nighter groove on Earth Online know the drill.  Anyway, I’m back in Grommash Hold finally and settled in, and HOLY SHIT it’s good to be able to crash in my own bed again.

So I’m figuring you’re all probably wondering what was going on on my end of things since the last time I posted.  Saurfang and Garona have been giving me the run-down about their side, but I’m still in the process of getting caught up on what Saurfang was posting here while I was out of it.  Anyway, let me try to fill in what I can and maybe fill some gaps for you guys.

Last time you heard from me I was flying down to Alcaz Island.  When I got to the island, Dontrag and Utvoch were still just chilling at one of those naga conjuring rune circles with Skarr, and so I figured I’d gotten there in time to get a jump on things.  Before I could get my bearings, though, a gang of tauren led by Magatha Grimtotem showed up and attacked.  At the time I assumed they were Grimtotem, but from the sound of things now, they must have been Twilights and just happened to be tauren.  Probably hand-picked, actually, so they could seem like they were Grimtotem.  Maybe.  Anyhow, they attacked, and somehow or other Skarr managed to get loose not long after.  Magatha was hanging back some and I could hear her chanting something, but I was a little too focused on the couple dozen dudes I had beating on me at the time, so I wasn’t really paying too much attention to it.

What happened next is still pretty fuzzy.  All of a sudden there was a blinding flash, and I remember being thrown back a long ways.  I think I hit my head on a tree or rock as I was falling back, but before I passed out I remember seeing a lot of the other tauren and maybe D&U getting thrown around by the blast.  I don’t remember seeing Skarr from that point – I think he was the explosion.  Looking back on it based on what Saurfang’s told me, I guess he must have been walking around with some kind of explosive enchantment, and Magatha detonated him when she arrived.  So he really was a time bomb, just a lot more literal than I was figuring.

And for that matter…turns out I was right, just not for the right reasons.  I thought Skarr was the phylactery, and we’d gotten baited into a trap bringing him out in the open.  Well, we got baited into a trap, all right.  But Skarr wasn’t the phylactery.  He never was.  He was the bait.

The next several…days, I guess? I’m not sure…were a blur.  All I can remember is bits and pieces.  Being picked up and dragged around, sounds of the ocean, grunting from ogres and ettin…that sulphury smell from the incense that the Twilights always seem to have burning all over the place.  Purplish walls.  I don’t know how long I was out before I finally came around for good.  Even then I felt pretty groggy, so I’m figuring the fuckers were using some kind of magical mojo on me to keep me subdued.

When I finally came around, I was in the Bastion of Twilight.  Magatha was running the show.  Which, considering the place was obviously overrun by Twilights and not Grimtotem, didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.  But man, was she ever proud of herself for having me under wraps.  I had a few choice words for her…okay, you know me better than that, I had a few choice paragraphs for her…but after I got the initial outrage out of my system (which granted took a while), I managed to get her monologuing.  Thank goodness for villains who can’t fight the urge to run their mouths, that’s all I’m going to say.

So come to find out, Magatha cooked up the story about the phylactery and fed it to the other Grimtotem through Arnak Grimtotem and Isha Gloomaxe, had her people running around making trouble for the ogres under the pretense of finding it, knowing that sooner or later word would get back to the Twilights and they would be all “WTF there’s no phylactery, is this bitch crazy?”  Which okay, she is, but whatever.  Arnak and Isha were the only other Grimtotem who ever knew the real story, or part of it, anyway – there was no phylactery, it was just Magatha’s way to get the Twilight’s Hammer’s attention and bait them into coming for her.  Which they did, in Thousand Needles.  And when they raided the Grimtotem and captured Magatha to interrogate her, they were really doing exactly what she wanted.

Once she was the Twilights’ “prisoner,” that put Magatha in a position to make them an offer they couldn’t refuse.  Sure, there wasn’t any phylactery, but she HAD found a way they could revive Cho’gall, and she was ready to make them a deal.  All she needed was the Doomstone, which the Twilights already had, that collection of tauren relics, which the Grimtotem already had, and a new body for Cho’gall spirit to set up shop in.

On the drawing board, that was going to be Skarr – THAT was his special duty, the job Cho’gall had in mind for him.  Somehow or other Cho’gall knew it could be possible to bring him back in a new body if need be, and had Skarr in mind to be the one, which a handful of those Gordunni ogres were aware of even if Cho’gall didn’t spread word around among the cult in general.  Who knows, maybe one of Magatha’s tribesmen in Feralas got wind of this from the ogres somehow, and that’s what got the call rolling on this idea in the first place.  Anyway…

The only thing that was missing was Magatha’s end of the deal.  I’ll give her this much, she’s no idiot, and she knew better than to trust the Twilights to hold up their end of the bargain if she went ahead and gave them Cho’gall up front.  So that was her one ace in the hole: she was the only one they knew of who could do it, and they weren’t getting any resurrection until she’d gotten her payoff.  As far as the other Grimtotem were concerned, the payoff was help in regaining power, retaking the Grimtotem’s lost territory…but in reality, Magatha knew that was a lost cause.  For now anyway.  The Grimtotem were reduced to bands of renegades, they were banished from tauren society and cast out of the Horde, they couldn’t even get the Alliance to give them the time of day…there was too much lost and too many enemies stacked against them for them to hold on very long even IF the Twilights helped them regain a foothold.  Better to let the Twilights get Cho’gall back, and let the world burn.  At least her enemies would burn with it.

But what she wanted was to be sure one enemy in particular would be the first to go down.

Remember that letter I wrote to Magatha, when she asked me for help in her coup in Thunder Bluff, and I told her where she could stick it?

Yeah.  Guess who.

That’s when they started letting information about all of this start reaching us, to set off their plan to lure me out.  Eventually when we went after Skarr, they started putting the pieces in place for a backup plan that would let them kill two birds with one stone – let us get Skarr, feed us more information through him, then set me up to be captured…and then put me into the Skarr role as Cho’gall’s future place of residence.  A live Cho’gall and a dead Garrosh all in one fell swoop.  Cho’gall’s revived spirit would take over, my soul would be burned up by the restoration – “consumed by the fires of resurrection” as she put it – and my body would be corrupted into something more “suitable” for him.  Fun stuff.

Eventually they even had good luck on their side.  In my stupidity, I sent that fucker Johnny Awesome to Thousand Needles, where the Twilights were still holding Magatha in “protective custody,” which gave her an opening to round up all the magical doohickeys she needed and cover her tracks all at the same time.  I mean, think of it – at this point she was ALREADY basically screwing over her own tribe for the sake of helping the Twilights burn the world down.  So now rather than having to come up with another cover story to keep leading the other Grimtotem on, she just sent Johnny Awesome to round up the stuff she needed from them, then got him to KILL Arnak and Isha, the only Grimtotem who knew anything at all about what Magatha was really up to in the first place.  And then he comes back, “steals” the Doomstone for her, and sends her off on her way, so as far as anyone can tell, she’s just ESCAPED the Twilights rather than working with them.

Gotta admit, this is all so sly and sneaky I’d actually be kind of impressed, if it wasn’t all so totally revolting.

Anyway…you can probably see how everything played out from there, the trap-within-a-trap at Alcaz Island, and all the rest.  Which brings us back to me being held in the Bastion of Twilight.

Eventually a couple of ettin dragged me out of my cell and set me up in a scaffold in the middle of Cho’gall’s old throne room.  Still a little groggy from whatever spells they’d been casting on me, but I guess they needed me conscious for the big pay-off.  Either that or Magatha wanted me awake so I could feel every last bit of it.  Probably both.  The scaffolding actually didn’t feel THAT tight, and the wood seemed to have a little give to it, but I wasn’t sure how much time I was going to have to struggle with it at that point.

Anyway, Magatha stood up beside me with the Doomstone in hand, tauren relics set up all around us, and started doing some incantations that who the fuck knows what they meant.  Apparently the ritual called for some kind of ritual bloodletting (blood is life or some shit like that), and since Magatha wasn’t exactly one to turn up a chance to rub some salt in the would, she had the cultists bring her Gorehowl – she was going to spill my blood with my own axe.  And then, just to add insult to injury…wait, no, she was already adding insult to injury…to add extra insult to insult and injury, she decides she has to get her last jab in, and says something along the lines of, “Fitting, isn’t it, a little loosed blood sets you on your way to becoming a monster that will lay waste to your world…like father, like son, eh, Hellscream?”

And I’m not going to lie to you – THAT?  That pissed me.  The fuck.  OFF.

And seriously, when you’re trying to finish an old-school warrior, Magatha, what’s the one thing you never want to fucking do?  Yeah.  Feed him extra free rage.

Crack.

Snap.

Broken scaffold.

Pummeled tauren bitch crone, flying across the room.  Gorehowl back in the right hands, and a whole room full of Twilights running in to take a number at the deli counter OF MOTHERFUCKING PAIN.

Just so happens, as I was starting to fight my way back out, Saurfang and the rest were making their way in.  I think they might have run into a couple batches of cultists that Magatha sent back out to the exit to secure the way out while I was on the move.  Kinda wish I’d been there to see the looks on their faces when they came out of the portal, actually.  “Okay, guys, we’ll just lock this down and WHERE THE FUCK DID THIS OTHER ARMY COME FROM **CLEAVE**”

So…I think that covers everything.  I probably missed a few details here and there, but fuck, this was long enough already, no need to go piling on more.  Anyway I can try to answer any left over questions you guys might have.  Otherwise, it’s going to be good to get back to semi-normal life, answer my mail, all that good stuff.  I’ll write more soon, about some less apocalypsey stuff.

I’ll say this much, though.  Magatha’s day is coming.  I can take some comfort in knowing that now she’s probably an even greater outcast, even more alone, than she’s ever been, now that she’s not only an exile from the tauren, but she’s even betrayed the one remaining tribe that would have had her.  But this?  Just wait till I finally get my hands on her, and get a chance to crush her under my heel.  CRUSH her.  See if the elements protect her then.  Crush and burn and drown and suffocate.  ‘Tis a little dream I have.

More soon.  And also, um…yeah.  Thanks for coming after me.

Live Blog: Storming the Bastion

Posted in From the Desk of Saurfang with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 17, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

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Citizens of the Horde,

I write to you today from our staging ground at the Twilight Citadel.  As you are no doubt aware, as I write these words to you, we are about to launch our incursion into the Bastion of Twilight; once underway, my chirographically proficient aide Mokvar will continue to update this space to keep you all informed of our progress – a process I am told is generally referred to as “live blogging.”  Before passing full control of our communication over to Mokvar, I am taking the liberty here of offering these opening remarks to set the stage, as it were.

I arrived at Twilight Highlands with several Kor’kron detachments late last night, and immediately prepared our forces to move on the Bastion of Twilight.  Zaela offered Dragonmaw support for our operation, even volunteering to accompany us herself; I cordially declined the offer – I believe my exact words were “I think you’ve done enough already, thank you” – and suggested that Zaela and her troops instead stake out the Twilight Citadel perimeter, a baby-steps measure of safeguarding from which she might benefit from practice.

[Never send a Dragonmaw to do a Saurfang’s job.  –Mkvr., ed.]

 

It’s over to me now, by the way, so I guess I don’t really need the usual brackets.  Mokvar here.  I’ll try to keep posting these quickly.  It’s going to depend on what’s going on at the time, obviously, but I’ll try to stay on task.  Hopefully this will go well.

Keep refreshing this page to update – I’ll be continually adding to the post as we go along.

 

8:02 PM - Zoning into the Bastion now.  We’ll see how this goes…

 

8:05 PM – All troops are inside.  Already a bit pecular — there are corpses of a couple of cultists here by the entrance.  They don’t seem like they’ve been dead for very long.  We’re moving in further into the major chamber.

8:08 PM – Well that explains that.  In the big room just inside the Bastion, there were two more dead cultists, then on the far end of the room yet another one dead, along with one live Twilight cultist — in the middle of combat with Garona. She seemed like she was doing fine by herself, but Saurfang and the closest batch of Kor’kron jumped in to help finish the cultist off.  It bears noting — he got the most hilarious look of “Oh, come ON” on his face just before they dropped him.

 

8:10 PM – Also, I just have to ask: don’t these guards look around at all?  That is, sure, the cultists that Garona attacked before we got here were stationed in pairs, but they were also all within eyeshot of each other.  Isn’t it kind of strange that each pair pretty much stood around keeping to themselves while Garona was killing their friends at the other end of the room?  Just sayin’.

 

8:14 PM – Garona says she stealthed ahead to check out more of the Bastion before we got here.  According to her, most of the cultists that are here seem to be clustered near Cho’gall’s old command room — the Throne of the Apocalypse.  She says there were enough there packed close enough together that she didn’t want to risk stealthing in any further.  There weren’t many Twilight’s Hammer people elsewhere in the place, other than these groups of guards near the entrance, so she decided to come back here first to make sure she’d cleared an escape path for herself just in case.

 

8:16 PM – Moving on further now with Garona on board.

 

8:17 PM – Hang on, AFK – combat!!

 

8:20 PM – Sorry, back.

We were about to head down the next hallway, but a portal opened up near the entrance, and about a dozen Twilight cultists came through and came running up on us from behind.  Contrary to what you might think, crazed apocalyptic world-destroying lunatics don’t have the basic manners to lay off the guy in the back who’s just trying to mind his own business and write.

Anyway, Saurfang and the other made pretty short work of them just the same.  I think we’re clear now. 

 

8:21 PM – Spoke too soon.  Another wave coming through the portal!  Stand by.

 

8:22 PM – Seriously, why do these Twilight people always insist on coming at Saurfang in twos?  After all this time, does the word “CLEAVE” really not ring any bells to these people?

 

8:25 PM – Give up your futile struggle, doomed fools!  All is but chaos and darkness!  The Hour of Twilight shall fall, and the sun shall set on your mortal realm!  Accept the inevitable and embrace the end as we have!

 

8:27 PM – Yikes, sorry!  one of those damn cultists freaking mind-controlled me for a minute there!

Funny he would make me write that, though, rather than, say, try to stab somebody.  Then again, I guess even these cultists need an outlet sometimes.  That and they’re insane.

 

8:29 PM – Cultists taken out.  We’ve only lost two Kor’kron so far, so we’re handling them pretty well.  Still, we’re going to hold position here and watch that portal.  That’s two waves of cultists that have come through, so we don’t want to move on right off and be taken by surprise.

 

8:33 PM – Nothing coming from the portal so far.  Saurfang has decided to leave a group here to stand guard while the rest of us use the portal and see what’s going on on the other end, wherever it is.

Saurfang’s also making a big point of us all going through together, and how he doesn’t want to go through, find himself in a room with a hundred cultists, look around, and see he’s all by himself.

I asked if he was worried he would be overwhelmed.

He said no, he just figures that that would give him a huge head start on the scoreboard and he wants to play fair by the rest of us.

Damn I love Saurfang.

 

8:41 PM – We’ve just gone through the portal, and this is a little eerie.  The portal took us all the way to the heart of the Bastion — straight to Cho’gall’s old command room, the Throne of the Apocalypse.  Based on the waves of cultists that were coming through the portal just a few minutes ago, I was expecting us to be swimming in them when we came out on this side, but strangely enough, the throne room is empty.

Empty, and a mess.  The place is still in tatters from Cho’gall’s last battle here.  The huge hole in the floor, leading down to Sinestra’s lair in the Twilight Caverns below, is still there and visible, but it’s been more or less covered by a series of wooden planks and platforms.  All around the room there are different pieces of conjuring paraphenalia, much like the junk the Twilight’s Hammer had down in Ahn’Qiraj, only here it looks to be strewn all over the place, some of it broken.  In the middle of the room there’s a heavy wooden prisoner’s scaffold — broken as well, nearly cracked into splinters in some spots.  There look to be broken chains laying around it on the ground as well.

The biggest eye-catcher, though, is the fact that the room is littered with bodies — cultists of all races, several ettin, a handful of ogres.  Most of the bodies look to be recently dead, many of them still seeping blood across the floor.

We’ve only just had enough time to take all this in, and now we’re hearing some commotion going on a ways down the hall, heading back out from the throne room.  We’re on our way out now.  Stand by.

 

8:44 PM – Just made our way through the Sanctum of the Ascended.  Three more dead ettin here, and no shortage of blodd spattered all around.  We’re still hearing noise from further out, but it sounds like we’re getting closer.

Saurfang and Garona are picking up the pace and growing visibly fired up by all this, and I can’t really blame them, considering the short list of candidates who could have a hand in this much damage…

 

8:46 PM – Heading down into the Twilight Enclave now — this is definitely where the noise is coming from.

 

8:50 PM – HOLY CRAP, they have a gronn!!  (By the way, weren’t there only supposed to be a handful of gronn in existence?  How do these Twilight Highlands cultists keep digging up extras?)  Anyway, this one is pretty much as big as a gronn could get and still fit in here.  It’s blocking the view of the far exit, and it’s got a gang of cultists swarming around it — not swarming like they’re attacking the gronn, but swarming like they’re all on the same side against a shared target, in the doorway.

 

8:53 PM – Okay, time to settle your bets on this one — it’s Garrosh!

Also worth noting that we were finally able to see him in the doorway because he just bladestormed down like half a dozen of the cultists.

And, with a patented “You answer to Saurfang now!” from the overlord, here we go!

 

8:56 PM – Well, here we were going to go.  Just as we were starting to charge in, we suddenly found ourselves rooted in place by some kind of slowing field, then guess who comes swooping in on that freaky wind serpent of hers?  Magatha Grimtotem herself!  (Nerf earthbind totems!)

 

8:59 PM – A large chunk of the cultists broke off to attack our group.  Including, you guessed it, two who ran right at Saurfang.  Together.  Why, seriously, why?

Meanwhile, Magatha’s landed and taken out a glowing, pulsating orb — is that the Doomstone?  She’s chanting something and the orb is glowing brighter.

 

9:02 PM – …Only nobody really noticed that Garona was unaccounted for, and she just popped out of stealth behind Magatha!  Stunlock!  And pissed-off stunlock too, from the looks of it!  Ha!  (Nerf rogues!)

 

9:04 PM – Another bladestorm from Garrosh, and now it’s just down to him and the gronn.  The only other cultists left are the ones busy fighting the Kor’kron…and they could probably be holding their own okay if it weren’t for the old guy cleaving his way through them.

 

9:05 PM – Crap.  Saurfang managed to close in on the gronn to help Garrosh, but the gronn must have heard him coming because it just turned around and hit him with some kind of shockwave effect, which did a knockback on Saurfang and threw straight back into Garona.

 

9:09 PM – Okay, mixed bag here.

The good: Throwing down that shockwave distracted the gronn just enough that Garrosh was able to get a few good hits in on him, and by the time it got its bearing back, it was short…um…an arm.

Now — YEAH! — short a head!

The bad: Saurfang getting flung into Garona kept her from doing her stun-lock thing, so now Magatha is back up and remounted on her blasted wind serpent.

 

9:13 PM – With the gronn dead and the cultists pretty well under control, Magatha tried flying out the doorway away from us — as she swooped by, though, Garrosh managed to leap up and catch the wind serpent’s tail.  Magath kept going and she’s carrying him with her away from the Enclave.  Saurfang and Garona have collected themselves and the bunch of us who aren’t locked down the remaining cultists are heading up after them.

 

9:20 PM – We’ve made it back up to Wyrmbreaker’s Rookery.  Magatha’s wind serpent is zig-zagging around, and it looks kind of shaky so maybe Garrosh has gotten in a few good swings on it while he’s been holding on.  Still, though, between the wind serpent thrashing around and Magatha letting loose some lightning bolts, they just managed to shake Garrosh loose and dropped him on the rookery balcony, overlooking the Highlands.

Magatha pulled away with the wind serpent, but then she just stopped and pulled the Doomstone out again.  I couldn’t hear from here, but she started saying something, maybe another one of her chants, and the stone started glowing insanely brightly in rapid pulses.  Then she hit Garrosh with one more lightning bolt — looks like he just shook that one off mostly — and threw the Doomstone down on the balcony.  It gave off an energy burst when it landed that pushed Garrosh back a few feet.  It’s pulsing faster and brighter now, and giving out a humming that’s getting louder by the second.

 

9:24 PM – Crap, I think Magatha just overcharged the Doomstone!  The pulsing is more like a strobe effect now, and the buzzing noise is going right through my ears.  Magatha’s flown off from the overlook on her wind serpent, but right now I think we’ve got bigger things to worry about — Saurfang just grabbed Garona to pull her back and shoved everyone back from balcony.

 

9:25 PM – Yep, it’s gonna blow!  If I’m still too close give my internet router to Spazzle…

 

9:26 PM – Garrosh jumped!  He just jumped off the balcony to get clear of the blast!

 

9:30 PM – OW, my ears.  And my eyes, too, for that matter.  Wow that was explosion was sensory overload… Going to need a minute to steady myself here…

The explosion pretty much took out the entire balcony…there are chunks of the floor and walls still crumbling and breaking loose…cracks all around the room are going to make the place pretty unstable to move around in.

Saurfang just did a quick head count to make sure the bunch of us were okay.  Garona’s already making her way over toward the ledge to see if there was anything down below for Garrosh to have grabbed on to…

 

9:34 PM – HA!  The wyvern!  Garrosh just came floating on up into view on his wyvern!  It must have been flying around the Bastion and caught him when he jumped off!  See, see, I told him it was a good-looking animal back in Ashenvale, but does anyone listen to me?  Nooo.

Um, I mean, yeah!  Garrosh is safe!

 

9:40 PM – Whew…. Okay, so we’ve gotten the cultists cleaned up, and Garrosh had landed and rejoined us (not too close to the cracked and unstable falling-apart room, mind you).  Saurfang’s in the process of surveying the troops, but just eyeballing it I’d say our casualties were relatively light.  Granted we lost Magatha, and there are still some gaps to fill in about what was going on here, but Garrosh and Saurfang and the rest can worry about that afterward.  For now we’re just concentrating on gathering up and getting ready to bring everyone back home to Orgrimmar.

Stand by a minute, I think Saurfang’s going to want to wrap things up here before we head out.

Also I need to go find some aspirin.

Also Spazzle had better not have made off with my router.

 

Victory is ours, friends!  And so, with Warchief Hellscream returned to us safely, the time has come for me to relinquish the mantle of leadership and return to my post in Northrend.  I wish to thank you all for your support and your courage, and also for continuing to read this space which I have maintained for the Warchief as best I could.  I trust Warchief Hellscream will resume his communication with you in short order, and I am sure he will look forward to hearing from you, his people, as much as you will no doubt look forward to once again benefiting from his sage words.

And with that, people of the Horde, I sign my final note to you.  It has, as always, been an honor to serve with you.

Lok’tar ogar, friends.  Honor go with you all.

 

-Saurfang

Bastion of Twilight — and YOU’RE invited!

Posted in Spazzle Speaks with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 15, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

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What’s up!

Hey all, it’s Spazzle again.  I’m making this update for Warchief Saurfang, since he’s in Twilight Highlands now getting ready for the attack on the Bastion of Twilight.

I talked with him and Mokvar before they left, and convinced them to let me set a special arrangement for the attack.  I know that there are a lot of you who’ve been taking an interest in what’s been going on through all of this, between the Twilight’s Hammer Cho’gall plot, and Magatha, and Garrosh’s disappearance – so I figured, why make you all wait to find out what’s happening after the fact?  So I’ve set things up so that Mokvar will be able to live-blog the entire operation while it’s happening, and you’ll all have the chance to follow along!

So, here’s the deal: Saurfang has the attack planned for this Friday at 8:00pm EST.  Consider this your very own virtual raid invite!  We’ll have a blog post up at that point, and Mokvar will continue updating as the operation unfolds.  Tell your friends!  Spread the word!  Be there to see first-hand (kind of) what happens, live and in person (kind of)!

Spazzle

Highlands Bound

Posted in From the Desk of Saurfang with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 14, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

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Citizens of the Horde,

I have received a coded message from Garona Halforcen:

Saurfang:

Heading to Twilight Highlands ASAP.  Based on information from prisoners, ritual equipment was divided between Silithus and TH to cover “contingencies.”  Info may or may not be reliable.  Information distributed to general cultists may be inaccurate or incomplete.

Will check in with Zaela when able.

-Garona.

I have myself contacted Zaela of the Dragonmaw Clan and, as of a short while ago, Garona is indeed in Twilight Highlands and on the move.  Moreover, Zaela further informs me that there has been increased Twilight activity in the Highlands, particularly in the area surrounding the Twilight Citadel.  I find this news troubling, and more than a little irritating; given the efforts invested by Horde heroes to contain the cult and overthrow its odious Bastion of Twilight, it does not sit well with me to learn that we may actually have allowed the Twilight’s Hammer, in whatever limited numbers, to regain a foothold in their old fortress.  Someone, as the saying goes, really dropped the ball there.

As the unscrupulous ogre Draz’Zilb has been relieved of duty in light of his recent conduct, I have been forced reluctantly to call upon a number of warlocks from the Cleft of Shadow for information on matters necromantic, as I am no longer at all sure what to make of the state of the Cho’gall plot.  According to Grol’dar, the spirit of Cho’gall, even absent a stable phylactery, could be restored to life successfully at the site of his death, provided an adequate repository of necrotic power and a new vessel for the spirit to occupy.

Hardly coincidental, then, that agents of the Twilight’s Hammer appear to be taking renewed interest in the Bastion of Twilight.  I would hazard a guess that our own impatient operative Garona is likewise on her way there, if she is not there already.

If she is already there, in any case, she will not long be there alone.  We set out for the Highlands, friends.  Honor go with us all.

 

-Saurfang

Going Rogue

Posted in From the Desk of Saurfang with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 13, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

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Citizens of the Horde,

A peculiar turn of events has taken place in Ahn’Qiraj.  I have just received word from Krug Skullsplit that the impulsive rogue Garona Halforcen has left him in sole charge of our Twilight captives and departed from Silithus.  According to Commander Skullsplit, Garona completed the interrogation of the last of the prisoners – the majority of whom, to her credit, have survived the process – then took off suddenly without explanation, save a rushed indication that she would be in contact with further updates shortly.  As Garona has proven in the past to be a valuable operative, it is my hope that this erratic behavior is well justified and that she will take pains to explain herself soon.

Meanwhile, on the topic of Horde operatives whose work has proven valuable, the prestidigitous ogre Draz’Zilb appealed to me earlier today for permission to undertake his own questioning of our Grimtotem captives, given his expressed prior success in extracting information from members of the tribe.  His suggestion was that he could likely verify the repeated Grimtotem claim that they were uninvolved in and unaware of the aggressions that occurred at Bladefist Bay and, more importantly, Alcaz Island.  I agreed to the ogre’s request, with, as it turns out, mixed results.

On the positive side, we now have fairly reliable confirmation of our original Grimtotem testimony.  None of the Grimtotem tribesmen had any awareness of any of the aforementioned Twilight’s Hammer activity; and the extent of their involvement in the events on Alcaz Island was the sending of a scouting party to the island well before catastrophe struck – scouts who, furthermore, have not been heard from since.  Draz’Zilb’s methods leave me highly…dubious…that this final testimony would be false.  It is, however, these very methods that leave me less than entirely satisfied with this entire undertaking.  Prior to today, I was only aware of the fact of the ogre’s assistance in previous interrogations, and, absent any further, troubling information, I was content to let him proceed with his proposal.  However, upon arriving to observe the questioning in person, I was most thoroughly disturbed by the spectacle that greeted me; by this point, three Grimtotem captives had already died to Draz’Zilb’s particular interrogation “techniques,” and I was quite uninterested in having a fourth life placed indirectly on my conscience.  Let me make no mistake: that we will kill during times of conflict is a matter of necessity; how we will kill is a matter of choice.  And I will not permit such unscrupulous undertakings to tain the honor of the Horde.  No matter how dire the battle, we must never forsake it.

As such, I have relieved Draz’Zilb of his support duties and dispatched him back to Brackenwall Village, where, I am sure, the venerable ogre chief Tharg will tend to him appropriately.  Meanwhile, in light of this confirmation of Grimtotem innocence – a term I use here in its more relative and situationally specific sense – I have begun to make plans to release many of our prisoners, provided a number of containment measures around their various settlements to ensure their ongoing good citizenship.

Once again the old adage proves true, friends: never trust an ogre not to be two-faced when he has two heads.  Honor go with us all.

 

-Saurfang

Draz’Zilb’s Discovery

Posted in From the Desk of Saurfang with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 10, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

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Citizens of the Horde,

Some days ago I alluded to a conjuration proposed by the morally tenebrous ogre Draz’Zilb which, performed upon those entities who were in close proximity of the then-hostage Skarr, might cast some light on any magics unleashed on Alcaz Island.  With the unexpected departure of Warchief Hellscream’s personal wyvern – still at large despite our continued efforts to find it – one of our prime subjects was taken from us, but since that time we have had occasion to revisit the conjuration with respect to our other remaining subjects: the omnisyllabically discursive soldiers Dontrag and Utvoch.

After having the procedure explained to them – a process which took no small measure of time, given the pair’s peculiar reluctance to allow Draz’Zilb to complete a sentence unimpeded until I intervened –

[Saurfang doesn’t have to get a word in edgewise.  When he talks, everybody else’s words stop what they were doing and turn into “Yes sir.” –Mkvr., ed.]

the duo were initially uneasy about the ritual, as they indicated some prior experience witnessing the effects of Draz’Zilb’s spellcasting.  After some reassurance, however, we were able to carry on with the process.  The results were revealing, though perplexing.

Draz’Zilb’s original notion was that the proximity of Dontrag and Utvoch (and the wyvern) to Skarr at such time as Cho’gall’s spirit was summoned from within him would leave residual magic traces – aftershocks, in essence – on them that we would then be able to detect.  Draz’Zilb’s divination did indeed detect powerful magical signatures lingering on the pair; based on his examination, however, these magics were not consistent with the unlocking of a living phylactery.  Instead, he believes that the magical effect to which our subjects were exposed was purely explosive in nature – powerfully explosive at that.

While our information is, of course, incomplete at best, Draz’Zilb has suggested that his findings correspond to a sort of magical explosion that can be detonated by feeding off of the life energy of a living being.  Such a measure would not be out of character for the Twilight’s Hammer, as we have had first-hand experience with their willingness to use suicide bombers in their attack on the Doomhammer.  Nevertheless, it leaves us with many questions about what actually occurred to the ogre Skarr: not least among them, of course, being where he was when the detonation occurred, and indeed whether he himself was the instrument of the explosion – and, if so, what are we left to conclude about his role in the revival of Cho’gall?

Dontrag and Utvoch are, sadly, of little aid in filling in the gaps of our knowledge, as it is likely that the explosion incapacitated them prior to their removal to the island’s underground tunnels, and one can hardly expect them to retain clear memories of the final instants immediately prior to the detonation.  I will likely dispatch Krog to the island once more to search for additional evidence, though I am not optimistic about there being anything left after our original exhaustive searches.

I have additional measures to tend to personally for the investigation.  For the moment, however, having just spent much of the day with Dontrag and Utvoch, I believe I will grant myself a brief respite at the Orgrimmar tavern.

[Saurfang doesn’t always drink lager, but when he does, he prefers Captain Rumsey’s. –Mkvr., ed.]

I will update again soon, friends.  Honor go with us all.

 

-Saurfang

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