Archive for trainees

30 Days of Character Development #5: Korrina

Posted in 30 Days of Character Development with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 1, 2014 by Garrosh Hellscream

[Each week, a post will profile one of the blog’s many supporting players.  (See the first profile for more details.)  Feel free to chime in with recommendations for other characters you’d like to see more about.]

 

korrina_profile1Name:  Korrina

Occupation:  Horde military trainee, apprentice blacksmith, part-time ore miner

Class:  Warrior (arms)

Age:  15

Group affiliations:  Horde (member), Dead Peons Society (a.k.a. “DPS,” member and resident badass)

Known relativesThura (mother), Broxigar (great-uncle, deceased), Varok Saurfang (great-uncle), Dranosh Saurfang (second cousin, deceased)

First appearance:  “Being a role model is a full-time job” (first mention of trainee group), “Dead Peons Society” (first mention of DPS by name), “Buried treasure” (first full, named appearance)

Key posts and plot points:

  • Garrosh first took on a group of high-aptitude trainees in “Being a role model is a full-time job,” and the group adopted its name in the eponymous “Dead Peons Society” after an…unfortunate incident involving a lazy and excessively fragile peon.  Korrina was part of the group from the beginning, but was not named specifically until the Krasarang Underground arc.
  • Along with many of her fellow DPS trainees, Korrina accompanied the Warchief to Pandaria and continued her training there, in part under the guidance of Mag’har blademasters Krimpatul, Burzum, and Ishi.
  • Korrina and the other trainees joined Krimpatul on an ill-fated mission to secure the Temple of the Red Crane for the Horde, beginning in “Departures.”  In “Fear leads to anger,” Garrosh learned of an Alliance victory at the temple that appeared to claim the lives of the trainees; unknown to the Warchief, Krimpatul led the trainees into hiding in a nearby system of caves, as detailed in “Reports of my demise” parts 1 and 2.
  • C13_3-2At the urging of Elder Cloudfall, Garrosh traveled to the temple grounds to investigate the trainees’ disappearance.  There, after accidentally falling into the underground caverns, he found Korrina and the rest of the DPS, in “Buried treasure.”  This post marked Korrina’s first formal appearance in the blog and the first time she’s referenced by name.  Garrosh and the trainees eventually made their escape from the caves, though not before Korrina demonstrated her badassery on some unsuspecting saurok.  (And she would have put the hurt on Varian, too, if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids Gurtash and Ruekie…)
  • For those keeping score at home, DPS members who have been named thus far are Korrina, Gurtash, Ruekie, Giska, and Kulkesh (our main players in the Krasarang story); Ruekie’s twin sister Tuekie; and Lok’osh, who was killed in the saurok cave.
  • Korrina is based on the baby arms warrior of long-time WCB co-conspirator Khizzara, author of Blog of the Treant.  Many thanks to Khizzara for letting me steal her character, and for her many contributions to her character – including a large portion of the in-character responses that follow!

In his/her own words:

Describe your relationship with your mother or your father.  Was it good?  Bad?  Were you spoiled rotten, ignored?  Do you still get along now, or no?

Well, I don’t know who my dad is.  My mom never talks about him.  I think he was killed in honorable combat like a true orc hero, but his death made mom sad so she doesn’t say much.  She doesn’t talk about my greatparents either.  They probably died in the 2nd or 3rd war?  I’m not sure… I should ask but sooooo awkward!

My mom is pretty cool though.  Good in a fight.  She’s not as famous as some of my relatives, though…

Mom was a pretty good mom, I guess.  She had to go off and fight and stuff when I was small, something about how her axe was super special, and she had to go chop down an important tree or something.

…Okay, I know that sounds lame, but it was harder than it sounds, okay?

Anyway, since my dad is dead, I had to stay in the orphanage while she was gone to war.  That happens to everyone, though, so whatev.  She’s back now but I’M off at war.  I write to her, though, so she won’t worry too much.

C10_2-2What are your most prominent physical features?

My totes awesome purple mohawk!!! And my bulging biceps LOL

Name one scar you have, and tell us where it came from.  If you don’t have any, is there a reason?

Only ONE!!??  I’m a WARRIOR, I’m MADE of scars!  Okay, hmm… Well, most are just nicks and cuts and things, but once, when I was pretty little, I was playing on top of the old bank in Orgrimmar, the one before Warchief Garrosh rebuilt things, and I slipped and fell and landed on the cactus in front of the door!  So all these cactus needles went through my left arm and leg and had to be removed, so I have all these evenly spaced circular scars there.  It looks pretty cool, actually.

How vain are you?  Do you find yourself attractive?

Um… I guess I’m pretty average looking??  I never thought about it much.  Looks aren’t important when you’re usually covered in dirt, sweat, and blood, anyway.

Describe your happiest memory.

This is maybe stupid, but once while mom was away my uncle Varok came to visit me at the Org orphanage — well, I guess he was visiting Warchief Thrall, but he spent a whole day with me.  He showed me some cool fighting moves and bought me ice cream and a little teddy bear (which I still have, shh!) and let me stay up real late while he told me stories.  It was a pretty chilly night (it gets cold in the desert after dark), but I didn’t want him to send me to bed, and orcs are tough, so I didn’t complain.  And it was a really clear night, so he pointed out all the major constellations in the night sky, and we watched the Blue Child come up.

What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?  Color?  Song?  Flower?

Strawberry.  Deep purple (like my hair!).  Power of the Horde by the ETC!  Twilight jasmine is pretty, and purple too!

Who do you trust?

I trust my fellow DPS with my life.  And my captain/Warchief Garrosh.  Never go into battle with people you don’t trust.

I also trust my axe, Lizardbane.  (I named it that because it’s great for killing saurok!)

Can you define a turning point in your life?  Multiples are acceptable.

- When my mom went to war and I had to live at the orphanage

- When I started warrior training

- When I went with the DPS to Pandaria

How are you with technology?  Super savvy, or way behind the times?  Letters or e-mail?

I’m not a goblin or a nerd, but yeah, I grew up with computers, so I know some tech stuff.  Letters or email?  LOL it’s not like I’m old and in my 20s or something.  I just text or whatev.  Unless it needs to be more official, and then it depends on how urgent the message is.  Birthday card for Uncle Varok?  Snail mail.  Homework?  E-mail.  And if I really need to send a message, I find that AXE to the FACE works pretty well.

What does your bed look like when you wake up?  Are the covers off on one side of the bed, are they all curled around a pillow, sprawled everywhere?  In what position do you sleep?

I sleep on my side with my hand on Lizardbane.  Usually I wrap the blanket all around myself kinda like a cocoon.  I don’t need a blanket though.  A warrior can sleep anywhere, anytime!

C14_2-2How do you react to temperature changes such as extreme heat and cold?

I endure them without complaint.

Are you an early morning bird or a night owl?

Night owl.  Do NOT talk to me before 10 am unless you want an AXE to the FACE.

Are there any blood relatives that you are particularly close with, besides the immediate ones?  Cousins, uncles, grandfathers, aunts, etc.  Are there any others that you practically consider a blood relative?

I love my Uncle Varok, but I don’t get to see him much.  He’s stationed in Northrend.  This is going to sound dumb, but I want to be as awesome as he is someday.

My cousin Dranosh was a cool guy, but he was way older than me, so I didn’t know him much.  I was sad when he died, though.

I didn’t really meet my uncle Brox.

I guess I’m mostly on my own, but it’s okay because the DPS is like family.

What does you desk/workspace look like?  Are you neat or messy?

I keep my weapons and gear neat and tidy because well-maintained gear is gear that keeps you alive!  Otherwise… well, just… don’t look in my bags, okay?

Do you have any irrational fears?

I fear failing to protect my friends, but that seems pretty rational to me.  I’m also kinda scared of falling off buildings and landing on cactus.  Cactuses.  Cactusi?

C14_2-3What would your cutie mark be?

Your skull with my axe through it for asking something so stupid.

If you could time travel, where would you go?

Knowing the Bronze Dragonflight, it’s probably a matter of WHEN, not IF.  And I doubt I’ll have much choice in the matter of where.  But I guess I’d like to see Draenor… the old Draenor, before it shattered.  When the orc clans were still brown and strong.

What might your ideal romantic partner be?

I’ve never thought about it.  I guess… strong, confident, skilled in combat, smart (no peons please!), tough, loyal, honorable… a real ORC man, you know?

But I dunno, seems like a bad idea to fall in love.  Everyone dies young, so you either lose them, or they lose you, and your kids grow up in the orphanage.

Describe your hands.  Are they small, long, calloused, smooth, stubby?

Why?  That’s kinda creepy.  Do you have some hand fetish or something?

They’re strong and wield a big axe.  Think about that when you ask questions.

What’s your favorite comfort food, favorite vice, favorite outfit, favorite hot drink, favorite time of year, and favorite holiday?

Pulled pork.  Um, what?  I don’t think I have any of those.  My armor.  Hot cocoa!  Autumn.  Brewfest.  Um!  I mean!  WINTER VEIL.  Yes.  Winter Veil.  >.>

How do you smell?  Do you wear perfume or cologne?

Strong hands.  Big axe.  Remember?  Get away from me, you creeper!

Besides, I’m standing right in front of you.  What are you going to ask next, what I’m wearing?  When I’m standing right in front of you?

But come on, I’m a warrior!  I wear plate armor and do vigorous physical activity all day.  I don’t smell of roses.  Idiot.

 

Previous Profiles:

  1. Spazzle Fizzletrinket
  2. Ben-Lin Cloudstrider
  3. Dontrag and Utvoch
  4. Taktani

* * * * *

[A few reminders and announcements!  First and foremost, last call for the Transmogs for Shayari contest – today is the last day to send your entries to garrosh1337@gmail.com.  I’ve already gotten many great outfits, and will be looking forward to seeing a few more before the day is out.

Along those lines, I’m planning to put together a pretty big post next weekend, showing off the wide range of looks that folks have offered for everyone’s favorite half-draenei girl.  (Sorry, Garona.  Don’t come after me.)  In order to give myself room to put that post together, without derailing the blog’s main continuity too much, I’m also going to skip next week’s 30 Days profile.  I’ll have a new profile haphazardly slapped together the following week (or weekend, most likely).  Any requests, as far as whom?

And speaking of next weekend, just a reminder that we’ll be having our next installment of the SoO meta raid.  As always, all are welcome; as always, feel free to add Averry#1116 on RealID to reach me to come join the fun.

And finally, one more item to look forward to next week: It’s mailbag time!  The Warchief is already busy sorting through his mail, but he can always use more.  Use the e-mail address above or the handy form below to submit your thoughts and questions before it’s too late!]

 

Remembered

Posted in Comics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 27, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

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* Lok’osh was one of the DPS trainees until he was killed by saurok.  Garrosh learned of his death here.

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* After falling from a ledge in the caves, Gurtash woke to find he’d injured his hand.

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* Elder Cloudfall gave Garrosh this speech (among other bits of cryptic goodness) when the Warchief first visited Tian Monastery.

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Exit strategy

Posted in Comics, General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 24, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

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So the good news was that it didn’t take very long for me to find Gurtash.  He dropped a pretty long way, but not particularly far, so tracking him down wasn’t too big a production.  Other than him being shell-shocked from getting an owie on his hand, or whatever the hell else was making him all jumpy all of a sudden.

The bad news was that it WAS a pretty long way down, so getting back up to the other trainees was going to be a giant pain in the ass, especially considering I had a kid in tow who wasn’t going to be good for much first-hand climbing.  Luckily there were a bunch of ledges and outcroppings on the way up that were pretty much within range of a good heroic leap.  Which, yes, by the way, I can do straight-up vertically, because I’m fucking OP that way.  Anyhow, a few jumps and we were almost there, but…well, you know the old saying about the last step being a doozy.  A couple more feet and we would have been all set, but, hey, you know me.  Even dangling from a great height, I always try to look for the positive.

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So once we finally got past the clown shoes portion of the proceedings, we were finally able to make it to the opening Giska spotted and escape to the surface.  We came out in a rocky area near a lake, where we had the joy of another batch of saurok who were only too happy to stop their fishing trip to make trouble.  And promptly get their asses handed to them.  Stupid lizards.

By this point it was starting to get dark, so we made camp in the wilds for the night.  I figured once the kids had a chance to rest up, we could start making our way back to Domination Point.

And, speaking of getting back to business, I think it’s been way too long since I’ve dipped into the ol’ mailbag, so consider this your last call to contact your Warchief about all your burning questions.  Cue the handy-dandy web form for those who have an irrational fear of e-mail…

The dark below

Posted in Comics with tags , , , , on December 15, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

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Between a saurok and a hard place

Posted in Comics, General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on December 9, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

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So after King Chin made his exit, and I got my voice back after yelling for, oh, ten, maybe fifteen hours, we figured it was time to get the hell out of the caves before the saurok were able to follow through on their plan to collapse the place in on us.  The caverns were mostly a big winding maze, but I figured backtracking the way those other humans had come would probably be our best bet to get closer to a way out.

There had been signs of life scattered all over the place in those caverns from the get-go – old torches and tools, extinguished campfires, all kinds of little odds and ends – but they were relatively scarce in the deeper parts of the caverns.  For whatever reason, I guess the saurok weren’t too interested in venturing too far underground.  As we made our way along, though, we started finding more and more random saurok junk.  I took is as a good sign that we were headed in the right direction.

Another positive sign: actual saurok.  Well, a positive sign in the sense that it probably meant we were getting closer to the surface.  Not so positive in the sense that, you know, they wanted to kill us.  Just because they were clearing out of the place doesn’t mean they didn’t have time to stop and pick a fight, because, hey, when you’re a stupid lizard man, any time is a good time to get your ass handed to you.  Funny how the equation gets changed a little when you add yours truly to one side of it, huh?  Then THEIR side of the equation gets straight-up flipped upside down.  That’s right, bitches, YOU JUST GOT RECIPROCALED.  Only then I guess that might make the equation into a proportion, and then we would have to cross-multiple our…melee attacks…and…carry the one…um…FUCKING MATH METAPHORS.

Although, credit where it’s due: some of the kids are getting to be totally not terrible in a fight.

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Anyway, we chopped our way through a few more packs of saurok while we continued toward the surface, or at least our best guess at which direction that would be.  Eventually, every so often, the ground started to shake with tremors.  Hard to say for certain, but the smart money says that was the saurok shaman working their mojo to try to collapse the caves.  The longer the quakes continued, the stronger they got.  At one point we had to change direction after one passageway was blocked by falling rocks, and eventually the tremors became so strong that cracks would break open in the ground beneath our feet.  And then I guess the quakes decided that even that wasn’t quite enough for them, because, well…

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* Lok’osh, one of the DPS trainees who’d gone to the Temple of the Red Crane, was killed by the saurok before Garrosh arrived in the caves.  Garrosh learned what happened to him here.

* * * * *

[Quick OOC notes:  Yes, as I’m sure many of you are ready to point out, Gurtash wasn’t actually present for the last page above, so you wouldn’t think there could have been comic panels drawn for those events.  Just roll with it for now; it all gets accounted for eventually!

By the way, anyone needing a quick refresher on which trainee is who can find a visual cheat sheet at the end of this post.

Also, thanks to everyone who came for the “Meta” raid a couple weekends ago!  It was a great time for me, and hopefully for everyone else involved.  I’d like to see about making it a semi-regular event – maybe one weekend a month or so?  Stay tuned for updates!]

Strange bedfellows

Posted in Comics, General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 19, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

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So I’m going to spare Gurtash having to draw like ten pages of action shots and bottom-line this for you: it took a little doing, but Varian and I were able to beat down that sha that sprung up out of where-the-fuck.  Which shouldn’t come as much of a surprise – I mean, really, anyone who thought I would be writing this to inform you we’d been fucking KILLED, take a step forward.  Then take another few steps toward the nearest steep ledge and just fucking kill yourself, because seriously, too stupid to live.

Anyway, once the sha was out of the way, we got back to the much more important matter of beating the shit out of each other.  Check it out, though – we weren’t even five minutes into round two when ANOTHER sha popped up out of nowhere and had something to say.  So we had to drop everything again and take care of the sha.  Fucking rude, if you ask me.

Anyway, we polished off this one and got back to business.  For a few minutes, anyway, until – can you believe this shit? – ANOTHER sha showed up.  At which point it was way past rude getting to be just plain annoying.

Now, if it depended solely on pinhead Varian, we probably would have been going round and round like that for-fucking-EVER, but because your Warchief IS indeed the sharpest tool in the shed, after this pattern repeated itself another, like, eight or nine times, I realized that it was our fighting that was causing the sha to keep spawning.  Feeding off of our anger and hate and…well, really, let’s just call it the whole damn sha cocktail.

So, on the up side: Now we knew how to keep the damn sha from rolling up on us over and over.

On the down side: I had to put a (temporary) stop to adding to the human’s scar collection.

Seriously, do you know how fucking DISTASTEFUL it is to be stuck in a room with Varian and not be able to punch him in the face?  (Note to Genn Greymane: How the fuck do you DO it, man?)

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Seriously.  How, Genn, how?

Anyway, that went on for a little while.  At least the trainees weren’t within earshot most of the time, so I could give Varian an earful.  Otherwise I’m liable to GET an earful from Orphan Matron Battlewail whenever I get back to Orgrimmar, what with the giant bone she has to pick with me about swearing so much around the kids.  Because, yeah, in situations like these, watching my language should TOTALLY be one of my priorities, right?

Anyhow.  Whatever.  After fuck only knows HOW long with Varian playing the role of “annoying little bird sitting on Garrosh’s head and pecking away verbally,” I finally managed to get him talking enough to find out how he ended up down there – after the battle at the temple, word got back to him that his soldiers had chased some orc trainees into the wilds, and he went out to join in the search.  Something about making sure his people didn’t get “overzealous,” whatever the fuck that means.  Anyway, while he was scoping out the area he managed to fall down one of those cracks in the ground, same as I did.  Idiot.  So here he was.

I’m not sure how long we were stuck there basking in the glow of each other’s delightful company, but eventually Giska came running in with a scouting report.  Apparently there were noises coming our way, and so she snuck off to check on it all stealthy-monk style, and, come to find out, there was a handful of humans heading our way.  Because hey, why not, right?  Was there anybody NOT in these caves at this point?  Who knew the fucking saurok caves were party central around these parts?  Hey, maybe fucking Koltira Deathweaver was down here too – mystery solved at last!

So, fast forward to the humans arriving, the initial “Holy shit, it’s Garrosh!” moment (RECOGNIZE, BITCHES), and the clusterfuckery of getting them to cool it before we got an in-person reminder of what’s black and white and tendrilly all over.  From that point, the humans huddled off to themselves, but I managed to listen in on bits and pieces.

I guess these newest arrivals had found the main entrance to these caves, up in the heart of Saurok Town, and had gone in searching for King Chin.  From what I can gather, they had to make their way through a shitload of saurok activity.  Seems over the last couple hours, the saurok had been spooked by the appearance of a bunch of creepy black monsters (GEE I WONDER WHERE THOSE COULD HAVE COME FROM), and now it looked like they were getting what passes for shaman in lizard-land to do some kind of rituals to close off these caves altogether with earthquakes and cave-ins and shit.  So that spurred the humans to pick up the pace looking for Varian, and look at that, they found him safe and sound, because things always work out nicely that way so long as your name isn’t fucking ME.

Luckily, the humans had a mage with them.  I say “luckily” there, because for some reason I thought, hey, cool, mage portal, we can all just pop the fuck out of here, only I didn’t realize that APPARENTLY mages can rig their portals so they can only be used by the people they WANT to use them, because I guess mages are FUCKERS like that.  So I guess the “luckily” was, in fact, only “luckily” for them, as opposed to a big juicy serving of UP YOURS for me and the kids.

And of course, class act that he is, Varian couldn’t resist sticking it to me on his way out the door.  Portal.  Whatever.

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Cheat Sheet

Posted in Words from Behind the Curtain with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 18, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

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As promised in my last post, here’s an overview of the state of the blog.  I realize that after two years of accumulated in-jokes and storylines, the Command Board may be a bit disorienting to a newcomer (or, for that matter, to a long-time reader who blinked at the wrong time), so I’ve tried to break this down into a semi-sorta-kinda FAQ.  Most of this will be familiar to long-time readers (though I’ve also included a few behind-the-scenes notes that some of you might find interesting), but I hope it’ll explain a few things for new arrivals.

 

I hate Garrosh!  Why does Garrosh seem so sympathetic in this blog?  Are you one of those Garrosh apologists/fanboys?

Comically enough, I originally started the blog because I really didn’t like Garrosh either, and saw the blog as a way to have a few chuckles mocking him.  It wasn’t long, though, before I decided that I would get sick of the outright-mockery approach pretty quickly, so I started branching out.  Part of the result was letting blog-Garrosh become (I hope) a bit more multifaceted, while still remaining true to his temperamental self.  Including the LOLs.

Ultimately, I don’t set out to justify anything Garrosh does, just to present it in a way that makes sense in light of the character, and if that pushes a black-and-white scenario into some shade of gray, well, that makes for a more interesting story anyway.  And, keep in mind, the story here is being told, generally, from Garrosh’s point of view, so I don’t know how that perspective wouldn’t be sympathetic.  Everyone is the hero of their own story, after all, and nobody thinks they’re a bad person.

 

Why isn’t there anything here about the siege of Orgrimmar?

What are you talking about?  There was a post titled “The siege of Orgrimmar” a good solid year ago – if anything, shouldn’t you be asking why Blizzard is coming so late to the party?  (By the way, I didn’t realize until just now that patch 5.4 was released almost exactly on the one-year anniversary of the “Siege or Orgrimmar” post.  How awesomely freaky is that?)

Anyway, to give a real answer: Time-wise, the blog has not yet reached the events of patch 5.4.  The storyline is currently playing out the midst of 5.2; Lor’themar Theron and Jaina Proudmoore have recently set up shop on the Isle of Thunder, while Vol’jin is still recovering from his injuries at Shado-Pan Monastery.

This time lag between the game and the blog, by the way, is partly by design.  I’d always intended the blog to run a bit behind the game; coming into MoP, I realized that if I tried to follow in-game events too closely, I wouldn’t have time to adapt my own ideas to fit Blizzard’s story.  There have already been a few instances in which Blizzard’s story has taken a turn that’s forced me to change gears in a way that would have been disastrous if I didn’t have a month or two of lead time.  Of course, I’m clearly more than a month or two behind – that’s been a result of various real-life circumstances slowing down my output over the last few months.  I’m working on it!

 

So the blog basically retells in-game events, from Garrosh’s point of view?

Yes and no.  The blog operates within Blizzard’s continuity (with the aforementioned time delay), but also weaves additional storylines in and around the canonical Blizzard plots.  Anything that happens or is stated explicitly in-game is canon, obviously, and the blog is bound by it.*  That said, I sometimes like to put other stories around Blizzard’s, to give them context that might change the way those events are perceived.  (This was a large part of my motivation for the Timequake story leading into Theramore, or, more recently, the blog events surrounding the Divine Bell / Domination Offensive storyline.)

Also, while the point of view is mostly Garrosh’s, there are some posts that present events from other perspectives.  Most notable are the “guest” posts by Spazzle (Garrosh’s tech goblin), which help fill in story details that Garrosh wouldn’t necessarily be privy to.  You can always identify a post written by someone other than Garrosh by the color of the text – Spazzle’s posts, for instance, are always written in green text, and almost always include the phrase “Spazzle Speaks” in the title.  Also, as a rule of thumb, when Spazzle et al post, Garrosh remains oblivious to anything that might be revealed; the conceit at work here is that Garrosh doesn’t really care what anyone else is writing, so he doesn’t bother reading it.

* The one instance that I’ve flat-out fudged in-game details is the way I’ve chosen to incorporate the events of “A Little Patience.”  From the Alliance point of view, that scenario takes place almost immediately after Varian arrives in Pandaria; in the blog, I’ve pushed those events a bit later in the story.  This was largely a matter of convenience: I knew that I wanted there to be a military operation in Krasarang in which Garrosh’s trainees went missing, and I realized fairly late in the going that “A Little Patience” lent itself to that story pretty readily.  Hopefully those Alliance-side readers out there will be willing to turn a blind eye to my blatant and shameless revision.  (Horde bias rears its ugly head again!  GRR!)

 

Garrosh has trainees?  When did that happen?

Right here!  As part of the escalation of the war effort, the Kor’kron started a training program to prepare orc teenagers for eventual military service.  When Garrosh learned that Gurtash – an orc boy from the Orgrimmar orphanage whom Garrosh had taken under his wing – had been conscripted, Garrosh volunteered to take Gurtash’s trainee group under his own supervision.  (Side note: In my head-canon, Garrosh has a bit of a soft spot for the orphans, being as he is one himself.)  The trainees, who have nicknamed themselves the Dead Peons Society (DPS for short) have accompanied Garrosh to Pandaria and joined him on a few adventures.  Fairly recently, they went missing after the Horde loss in the “A Little Patience” scenario, and were eventually found by Garrosh, hiding away in an underground system of caves.  That’s brought us up to the point where we are now, story-wise: Garrosh and the trainees underground, looking for a way out.

 

Is the entire supporting cast from within the game?

Mostly, but not entirely.  I’ve invented a few characters for the blog – Spazzle being the highest-profile – but I’ve tried to keep it limited, and tried to restrict those characters to fairly peripheral positions in the lore.  The one glaring exception was the storyline involving Garrosh’s mother, Lakkara, who isn’t mentioned anywhere in the actual lore.  It just struck me as odd that there’s no record of who she was, or what happened to her, and besides, in a mythology packed to capacity with father/son relationships, I thought it was about time somebody’s mom got a little screen time.

Otherwise, when a character turns up who doesn’t exist in-game, that character was often inspired by a reader and/or based on someone’s game character.  For instance, both Gurtash and Mortimer (Garrosh’s personal wyvern) became blog characters thanks to mailbag letters from Khizzara from Blog of the Treant; Khizzara’s own namesake has made a few appearances as Spazzle’s cousin; doodle-prone kitty druid Taktani became a full-fledged character (and boy, is she ever a character) after making several mailbag contributions; and many of the DPS trainees are modeled on the baby orc alts of friends.

In general, though, if you see a supporting character turn up whose name you don’t recognize, the smartest first guess is that he or she is based on a questgiver or other NPC somewhere in-game.  (Wowpedia is your friend!)  I deliberately picked a lot of relatively minor NPCs – people like Mokvar, Elder Cloudfall, and Dontrag and Utvoch – to use as supporting characters because I figured their relatively peripheral status gave me more latitude to work with them, give them backstories, etc.  After all, what are the odds that Blizzard would actually do something with one of these people to contradict my own concoctions?

(Either way, if you’re not sure who someone is, I’ve also maintained a partial list of supporting players on the About the Blog page, including some of the more pertinent information about them.)

 

Speaking of which – in the SoO raid, Mokvar is a mini-boss!  Isn’t he missing?  How are you going to deal with that?

First… um, yeah, that whole “no way they’re gonna do something with this guy” really blew up in my face on this one, huh?

And second… So, everyone who thought I was going to lay out this big storyline for Mokvar, and make such a production out of his disappearance…and then have it turn out that he really is dead…step forward.

Didn’t think so.

For those of you unclear on Mokvar’s whole story, which has been unfolding gradually for quite a while, you can check here for a brief overview and links to the relevant posts.  Very short version: After becoming the victim of a mysterious attack, Mokvar sets out to track down a powerful relic from his warlock days, with the aid of a human named Deliana (who was Mokvar’s Alliance equivalent in the old dungeon set quests); over the course of his quest, he starts to behave increasingly strangely, culminating in his eventual flight from arrest in Orgrimmar.  His whereabouts are now unknown.

Stay tuned.  You’ll see where this is going!

 

With Mokvar gone, how are you handling the transcripts?

Prelinimary: The blog contains several transcripts of conversations that Garrosh has engaged in.  The premise from the outset has been that Mokvar is (or was) Garrosh’s personal scribe, and records all these conversations for posting.  This explains, by the way, a number of occasions when Garrosh mentions summoning Mokvar to an event, or otherwise noting Mokvar’s presence, as a way of leading in to a transcript.

Since Mokvar is off the grid, Garrosh has passed transcription duties to two people: Gurtash, who records his transcripts in the form of comics; and Taktani, a friend of Dontrag and Utvoch and long-time mailbag contributor, who’s started to (and will continue to) write a few transcripts, laden with her own unassuming brand of commentary.

 

What are these guild chat logs that keep cropping up?

Garrosh and several of the supporting characters play an MMORPG called Earth Online – the basic premise being that, to these characters, Azeroth is reality, and our real world is actually the game world of the MMO.  Garrosh started his own guild, called <Warchief>, and several familiar faces (including Spazzle, Sylvanas, Lor’themar, Faranell, Garona, and Dontrag and Utvoch) are members.  Also worth noting is that Jaina Proudmoore is a member of the guild…although she doesn’t realize (yet?) who her guildmates are in “real life.”

The guild chat logs recreate some of the exchanges that the members of <Warchief> have within their game, usually including regular guild chat, officer chat, and, in some cases, whispers.  I make no pretense about the fact that some aspects of these logs are based on my own guild-chat expeiences, especially officer chat.  The transcripts are always presented from the point of view of whoever posted them – usually Garrosh, but occasionally Spazzle.

 

Where did this whole thing about lemon squares come from?

Garrosh loves lemon squares.  Don’t you?

Real explanation: Very early in the blog, Edenvale of The Gamer’s Fridge posted a recipe for Garrosh Hellscream’s lemon squares, and pointed me to her post with a comment on the Command Board.  Since then, it’s become a bit of a running gag – the recipe, according to Garrosh, was his greatmother’s secret family recipe, and he was most perturbed that this random night elf had apparently gotten ahold of it.

 

What does “FYV” mean?

An abbreviation of one of Garrosh’s favorite turns of phrase, of course: “Fuck you, Varian!”  Among other things, Garrosh often finds a way to slip that phrase into his EPIC VERSE compositions.

 

Speaking of which, what’s this “EPIC VERSE”?  Garrosh writes poetry?

You sound surprised.  Garrosh is an orc of many interests.  What, do you think he’s some kind of one-note caricature or something?

Okay, fine, game-Garrosh kind of is.

Honestly, I just got a kick out of the obvious dichotomy of Garrosh Hellscream, gruffest of the gruff, also writing poetry on the side.  True to form, Garrosh doesn’t view his compositions as just any poetry, so he prefers to call them EPIC VERSE.  In caps.  Always.  It’s sprinkled throughout the blog – almost always in purple text, to stress its epic-ness – and ranges from limericks, to parodies of other famous poems, to reader requests, to epic rap battles.

 

So, that’s as much as I can think to cover.  Other gaps can probably be filled in through the Major Storylines page, but if there are questions that anyone still has, in terms of getting caught up or clarified, by all means toss them into a comment and I’ll make sure it’s answered.  And so, on that note, I’ll sigh off with the promise – unconditional promise! – that before the week is out, you’ll have the continuation of the actual STORY part of the story!  Which left off, as you might recall, right here:

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Reports of my demise (part 2)

Posted in Comics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 18, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

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Picking up right where we left off last time

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Reports of my demise (part 1)

Posted in Comics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 12, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

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So how about that, huh?  The DPS kids were tucked away in the system of caves, making camp in a small chamber deep underground.  We burned up a chunk of time talking over each other at first, with everybody wanting to know how everybody else had gotten there, but after I explained about how I’d found the caverns, I finally managed to get their side of the story from Gurtash.

So…let’s kick it over to the kid himself.

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Buried treasure

Posted in Comics, Mailbag with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 25, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

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A couple days ago, I finally took Elder Cloudfall’s advice and flew over to the Temple of the Red Crane to check on the aftermath of the Alliance offensive there.  I’m back at Domination Point now.

So…this is probably going to be kind of a long story.  Bear with me.

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I got up extra early to make the trip over.  I didn’t bring anyone else along – just Mortimer and me.  I didn’t want any extra people making noise and drawing extra attention, and besides, depending on what I found there, I figured I might prefer to be by myself anyway.

I could see the remains of uniformed orc bodies scattered around the outskirts of the temple grounds, but I wasn’t able to get close enough for a better look right away.  The place was crawling with Alliance patrols.  Strange, seeing as the temple itself looked like it was back in the hands of the pandas, so it’s not like the humans were keeping watch over their own outpost.

I took a pass around to size up the deployment of patrols.  They were circling around the temple, but also ranging to the north and east, where the temple grounds gave way to swampland.  A little ways into the wilds there were some mogu ruins spread out over some hills.  A pair of humans looked like they were standing guard outside what used to be the entrance to a cave in the hillside – used to be, until it had been sealed with rocks.  Probably a cave-in.  Not sure what the point would have been of posting guards, but who knows what these humans are thinking.

I flew further up into the surrounding hills.  More patrols.  Mostly circling around a handful of cracks in the ground and rock face.  It took me a few minutes, but it finally hit me that the cracks would have led down into the same caverns as the cave entrance.  Probably, anyway.  I was never too great with spatial relations that didn’t involve swinging an axe.  Anyway, whatever was in there, the Alliance were keeping all possible points of entry locked down.  Maybe even sealed the cave themselves, who knows.

Whatever it was, if it was important enough for all this attention, I figured it was worth checking out.  So I landed by one of the cracks.  Now, granted, there were a bunch of Alliance soldiers patrolling around there, but, you know…to make a short story shorter, hi, how are ya, chop chop, dead dead, moving on.

I set a grappling hook in the rocks and lowered myself down into one of the cracks.  The opening was narrower than I was expecting, and went down further – I think each of the cracks opened into a different point in a series of tunnels, as opposed to one big cave like I was thinking originally.

Now for the fun part.  While I was still lowering myself down, guess what?  My rope snapped.  Maybe I really HAVE been putting on some weight lately.  To be fair, the Shrine of Two Moons really does have some kickass food.  So anyway, down I dropped.  Don’t you worry, though, because my fall was cushioned by a big ol’ pile of ROCKS.  Awesome, huh?

After I took a minute to thank life for chiming in with another installment of Hey Everybody, Let’s Piss Off Garrosh: The Home Game, I started exploring.  At first, the caverns seemed to have been built by someone, with walls and floors made up of stonemasonry.  Pretty soon, though, gaping holes in the walls gave way to a system of natural tunnels that wound around deeply and grew wider, mostly, the further they descended from the surface.  Looked like side passages splintered off pretty regularly, but I tried to stay with the widest path.  I figured that would make it easier to retrace my steps if I needed to.

Eventually, after I’d made my way deep underground, the jagged walls all started to blur together, and I started to worry that I was starting to travel in circles.  I was about to try retracing my steps when I happened to look down a side passage, and saw flickering light in the distance.  I made my way closer, turned a corner, and then…well…

Every once in a while – not often, but sometimes – life decides to be generous.

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