Archive for rak’gor bloodrazor

Spazzle Speaks: Darkspear Edition

Posted in Spazzle Speaks with tags , , , , , on January 11, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

darkspear

Big news just came in from Pandaria, and there’s really no good way to say it, so here goes.

Vol’jin is dead.

He was on a mission investigating a cave with Rak’gor Bloodrazor, Grizzle Gearslip, and a detachment of Kor’kron, when they were ambushed by saurok marauders.  Before the group could fend off the saurok, Vol’jin had been killed.  Word is that Rak’gor Bloodrazor died in the fight as well.

The news broke in Orgrimmar earlier today, and as you can probably imagine, people are freaking out over it.  Especially in the Valley of Spirits.  Eitrigg has ordered flags flown at half mast over the next week.

I’m not sure who’s going to take over at the Echo Isles.  I was never too clear about Darkspear rules of succession, to be honest.  In the meantime, while everyone sorts out what happens next, the Kor’kron are sending a unit led by Gul’tar down to the Echo Isles to maintain order and guard against any moves by the Alliance to take advantage of the instability.

At least that’s how they’re explaining it.  Who knows what’s actually going on.  All I know at this point is I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

There goes the neighborhood

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , on January 9, 2013 by Garrosh Hellscream

voljingarrosh

The Dragonmaw work crews have finished construction on Domination Point, and can I just say again what an awesome job they did getting the place built in no time flat?  Seriously, just a few days, and they have a whole fortress up and done.  I don’t even want to THINK about how long this would have taken if I’d let the goblins who did (or should I say ARE STILL DOING AND YES IT’S BEEN TWO FUCKING YEARS) Orgrimmar were working on it.

So that’s the good news.  The bad news is, no sooner did we finish construction on the place than guess who comes strolling on in with the newest wave of troops – Vol’jin.  After I SPECIFICALLY TOLD EVERYBODY not to tell him when we were leaving for Pandaria, to boot.  I guess I should count my blessings, what with him showing up by himself.  With my luck, it’s a miracle he didn’t bring Baine along with him.  And of course, now that I’ve said that, watch Baine show up here too.  Just what I need.

Anyway, Vol’jin turned up, and hold on to your ass, you’re never going to believe this, but guess what he started doing right off the bat?  If you guessed “COMPLAINING,” congratulations, you’ve been paying attention the last few months.  He went on and on, dontragging about us spreading our war to a new land, and utvoching about us driving the pandas away from the Horde with what we’re doing, and blah blah, boo hoo.

Want to know how much I care about Vol’jin’s objections at this point?  Here, I’ll give it to you in Earth Online tooltip terms:

carecup

Yeah.  That’s how much I care.

Of course, that didn’t stop Captain Camel Toe from griping up a storm for a while more, so I finally decided I was going to have to do something with him if I was ever going to get any peace.  We’d gotten reports from our scouts about a saurok cave far to the east – the saurok being these crazy aggressive lizard people who used to be shock troops in the pre-panda empire here – so I told Vol’jin I wanted him to go with the unit I was sending to check it out.  He still gave me some lip, but agreed to go.  He’s heading out that way now with Rak’gor Bloodrazor and a team of Kor’kron, along with a few volunteers from among the adventurers here at the base.  With any luck, Rak’gor will manage to get the troll out of my hair for a while.

Since they left, I’ve been going over documents here in the office I’ve set up in the main keep.  We have no shortage of notes here on Pandaria and its peoples, not to mention scouting reports on Alliance activity to the east.  Thing is, though, as much as I have information overload on all those fronts, and as important as it is for me to be getting our plans in order, the main document I’ve found myself focusing on for the last hour or so doesn’t have much of anything to do with Pandaria.  It doesn’t really have much in the way of pertinent information at all.  And yet I have it here on the desk, staring up at me, pulling my attention away from everything else.  A worn, bloodied scrap of paper, written in the slanted hand of an apothecary who never existed.

They’re going to turn against you.  Don’t let them.

Maybe this is what he was trying to warn me about.  Maybe not.  I may never know for sure.  All I know for sure is this: Dranosh died so that the Horde would have a chance to prevail.  And I’ll be damned before I let it be for nothing.

I’ll be damned.

And I can live with it.

 

"Seriously, mon, ya tink I didn't notice ya talkin' ta dat guy all quiet?  Oh, no, mon, dere's nuttin' fishy goin' on here at all."

“Seriously, mon, ya tink I didn’t notice ya talkin’ ta dat guy all quiet?  Oh, no, mon, dere’s nuttin’ fishy goin’ on here at all.”

Best-laid plans

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 13, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

org7

So I’ve been working with my trainees the last couple days, and other than the fact that by and large they have the attention span of a gnat on caffeine, and the fact that they seem to find every random thing hilarious, especially if you try to get them to STOP finding it hilarious, because when you try to get them to take something seriously for a change boy oh boy that REALLY brings on the LOL’s, and…what was I talking about?  I swear I should try to edit some of these things when I write them.  That is, if Spazzle can ever get his twitchy green ass around to showing me where the damn delete key is again.

Okay, so take two.  The trainees.  Once you get past all the crap that makes fourteen year olds annoying, which granted is a lot, they’re actually pretty good.  I mean you can definitely see the makings of some pretty decent warriors among the bunch of them.  Gurtash included, obviously, but then he does have kind of an unfair edge, what with me already having been showing him a few tricks.  I’ll keep you all posted on how this whole thing goes.

In the meantime, we had another planning session for Pandaria today.  We’re getting close to being ready to go…

 

EITRIGG:  Preparations are going to schedule, Warchief.  The fleet is now fully assembled at Bladefist Bay, and Grizzle Gearslip assures me that the last of the siege engines will be ready within a few days.

MALKOROK:  I would recommend keeping the fleet on rotating patrols until we’re ready to depart, Warchief.  If we keep the entire fleet docked, and the Alliance launches an attack…

GARROSH:  Good call.  I assume you can work out a rotation with Drok and the other captains?

MALKOROK:  I’ll see to the arrangements, Warchief.

GARROSH:  Good.  One other question.

MALKOROK:  Yes, sir?

GARROSH:  Who the hell are these people?

Garrosh points to two other orcs sitting around Malkorok at the conference table.

MALKOROK:  Sir?  You’ve already met Rak’gor Bloodrazor here; he was at our last strategy session.

GARROSH:  Oh, yeah, I remember him now.  Who’s the other guy?

MALKOROK:  Another one of my lieutenants, sir.  This is Gul’tar – former apprentice of Ga’trul, in fact, from the initial Pandaia landing force.

EITRIGG:  Did we ever find out exactly what happened with them, incidentally?

GARROSH:  Not much other than being pretty well wiped out by the second wave of Alliance forces.

MALKOROK:  You mean the ones that had to recruit the local fish men to fill out their ranks?

GARROSH:  <sighs>  Yes.

EITRIGG:  Speaking of which, as well, since we’re drawing close to being ready, we might want to gather as much information as possible on the land and its peoples.

MALKOROK:  I would imagine that may be a rare instance when those…preposterous new pandaren arrivals might prove useful.

GARROSH:  You’ve been getting pretty close to Ji since he started playing EO, haven’t you, Mokvar?  Pick up anything useful from him?

MOKVAR:  Not really.  Here’s the thing – Ji and all his people came from a place called the Wandering Isle, which isn’t actually part of Pandaria proper.

EITRIGG:  It’s an island nearby, though, isn’t it?

MOKVAR:  Well, sometimes.

EITRIGG:  Sometimes?

MOKVAR:  It’s technically not an island.

EITRIGG:  What is it, then?

GARROSH:  Hold on to your ass for this one…

MOKVAR:  It’s a giant turtle.

MALKOROK:  …What?

MOKVAR:  The Wandering Isle is a giant turtle that swims around the ocean – usually near Pandaria, but not always.  The pandaren that live there basically built a whole civilization on its back.  A lot of them don’t even know the truth about the “island.”

MALKOROK:  <grumbling>  Warchief… I suspect your…scribe here may be providing faulty intelligence.

GARROSH:  No, I got this same story about the Wandering Islse from Ji.

MALKOROK:  This would be the same pandaren who appears to be forever getting himself stuck in tight openings in the pursuit of food?

EITRIGG:  So I assume that since the Huojin live separately from the Pandaren mainland…?

MOKVAR:  They haven’t had any contact with the place in generations.  No help there as far as providing useful information.

GARROSH:  I guess we’ll have to get by on what we’re able to learn from Nazgrim and Krog, then.

MOKVAR:  While I’m thinking of it, though, Ji was asking me earlier about what’s going on in Ragefire Chasm.  I guess he had a few of his people go down there—

MALKOROK:  Is this really important enough to interrupt our planning, scribe?  You can’t seriously think the confusion of those perpetually confused bear people is more relevant than the imminent invasion.

MOKVAR:  I was just wondering—

MALKOROK:  Wonder all you want, scribe, just do it quietly.  Now then…

Vol’jin enters.

VOL’JIN:  Hey, mon, sorry I be late ta da meetin’!

GARROSH:  Oh fucking hell, who told him about the meeting THIS time?

VOL’JIN:  Was I not supposed ta know, mon?

GARROSH:  Not exactly.

VOL’JIN:  Oh, was ya plannin’ a surprise party for me, mon?  Is dere cake?

GARROSH:  <rubbing his forehead>  No, we’re not throwing you a surprise…you know what, fuck it, just sit down, Vol’jin.

VOL’JIN:  Tank ya, Warchief.

Vol’jin walks over to Malkorok at the table and turns to Gul’tar.

Ya be in ma seat, mon.

GUL’TAR:  I…what?

VOL’JIN:  Dat seat, mon.  Dat’s where I always sit.  Ya be in ma spot, mon.

GARROSH:  Vol’jin, does it actually matter?

VOL’JIN:  Ya, mon!  I’m a creature of habit, an’ I be feelin’ all outta sorts if I don’ sit in ma normal place!  Besides…

Vol’jin claps Malkorok on the shoulder jovially; Malkorok jumps in surprise, then glares up at Vol’jin.

…Malkorok an’ me tight now, an’ I be missin’ ma buddy if I sit somewhere else!

GUL’TAR:  <grumbles and turns to Malkorok>  I’ll just move, sir.  I would…hate to occupy the troll’s place.

Gul’tar moves over one seat.  Vol’jin sits next to Malkorok.  Malkorok stares at him icily for a moment; Vol’jin replies with an exaggerated grin.

GARROSH:  So…back to business.  What’s our latest from General Nazgrim?

EITRIGG:  He and his team have recovered from their injuries and indicate they’re making inroads with some of the pandaren in the northern mountains.

VOL’JIN:  Dey all make it t’rough okay?

EITRIGG:  Shademaster Kiryn and Rivett Clutchpop made it fine.  It seems their marksman, Shokia, is unaccounted for.

GARROSH:  I wouldn’t worry too much about her

EITRIGG:  Nazgrim reports the northern pandaren are in conflict with a tauren offshoot race.  He doesn’t make it sound like too dire a situation, though.

GARROSH:  Not something we need to worry much about, anyway, if this is going on in the northern regions.  We’ll be coming in along the southern coast.

MALKOROK:  Do we have any operatives scouting the south for us, then?

EITRIGG:  Just a number of volunteers who’ve been making their way around the continent of their own accord and checking in when they can.

VOL’JIN:  I tink dere was a group of Baine’s people doin’ some explorin’ in da sout’ too, mon.

MALKOROK:  What?  Bloodhoof sent his own expedition to Pandaria?

VOL’JIN:  Ya, mon.  Sunwalker Dezco was leadin’ it.

MALKOROK:  And why, I wonder, would he presume to send his own detachment without clearing it with Orgrimmar?

VOL’JIN:  I didn’t know da tauren had to ask permission ta do tings.

MALKOROK:  A loyal member of the Horde should be clearing obvious military operations with their Warchief, troll.

GARROSH:  Do you want to explain why Baine apparently saw fit to tell YOU about this expedition and not ME?

VOL’JIN:  <beaming>  I’m a people person, mon!

MALKOROK:  At best, this stinks of insubordination, Warchief.  And potentially disloyalty of a far worse kind.  How do we know they’re not conspiring for their own purposes?

EITRIGG:  You cannot seriously think the tauren would be engaged in something illicit?

MALKOROK:  I do not trust that Baine or the rest of his ilk.  He’s put himself at odds with the Warchief too many times already.

VOL’JIN:  Ya tink he’s disloyal, mon?  I been speakin’ my mind to Garrosh, too – ya be tinkin’ I’m a traitor?

GARROSH:  Not a traitor, Vol’jin, but I’ll tell you in no uncertain terms, the two of you HAVE been a grade-A pain in the ass the last few months.

MALKOROK:  As far as I’m concerned, you could very well be conspiring with him on whatever he’s up to.  Don’t think I’m not keeping an eye on you, troll.

VOL’JIN:  Oh, don’cha be worryin’, mon.  If I was ever workin’ against ya in secret, you’d know.

GARROSH:  I…  <rubs forehead>  That…doesn’t even make sense, you stupid troll.  By definition

VOL’JIN:  Besides, mon, ya don’ have ta be worryin’ about Dezco an’ his people.  He even has one a da orcs wit him.

EITRIGG:  Who?

VOL’JIN:  Kor Bloodtusk, I tink ’is name was.

MALKOROK:  A weak-minded puppet, most likely, lured over to that tauren’s misguided way of thinking.

MOKVAR:  I have to say, actually—

MALKOROK:  <glares>  What do you want, scribe?

Mokvar looks down.

Now then—

MOKVAR:  <turning back to Malkorok>  What I want?  I want to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike.

Behind Malkorok, Vol’jin beams and high-fives the air in Mokvar’s direction.

Or were you looking for something a little less big-picture?

MALKOROK:  <glaring>  Count yourself lucky, scribe, that you’re in the Warchief’s good graces…

MOKVAR:  Yeah, because you would never—

EITRIGGGentlemen.

GARROSH:  Yeah, guys, enough.  Cool your jets, both of you, we don’t have time for this crap.

MALKOROK:  Of course, Warchief…

GARROSH:  So, Vol’jin, now that everybody’s gotten all riled up over the tauren expedition, have we heard anything from them that would actually be USEFUL?

VOL’JIN:  Da one ting I heard was dere be a lotta old ruins from an older race, dat ruled before da pandaren.  I don’ know anyt’ing about ’em, but from da ruins it sounds like dey was everywhere.

EITRIGG:  Hmm.  Possibly worth assigning a team from the Reliquary to join the expedition to look into?

GARROSH:  Yeah, maybe.  This is a military operation, not an archaeology dig, but calling in some of the blood elves on this might help smooth things over with ol’ what’s-his-name.  Captain Peroxide.

MOKVAR:  How’s his eye doing, by the way?

GARROSH:  Don’t ask.

MOKVAR:  Ah.

GARROSH:  Anyway…  I think that covers everything for today, doesn’t it, Eitrigg?

EITRIGG:  Yes, sir.  I don’t think there was anything else on the agenda.

VOL’JIN:  Good party as always, mon.  Next one at my place!

MOKVAR:  If we’re done here, I’m going to head over to the Valley of Honor.  I need to catch up with Ji about a couple things.

GARROSH:  Good, keep him out of trouble for a few hours.

MALKOROK:  If you’ll excuse me then, Warchief, Rak’gor and I have a few arrangements to make ourselves.

VOL’JIN:  Don’ forget ta pick up da cake dis time, mon.

Malkorok blinks at Vol’jin, then shakes his head as he leaves, grumbling, with Rak’gor and Gul’tar.

<chuckling to himself>  Never gets old, mon, never gets old…

 

 

[Header image provided by Khizzara from Blog of the Treant, used here with permission and many thanks.]

Invasion incoming

Posted in Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 3, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

eitrigg

In light of the reports coming in from both Nazgrim and Krog from Pandaria, I decided we need to step up preparations for a full-scale military operation there.  Nazgrim’s been holding his own reasonably well under the circumstances…well, he WAS until this last report, anyway, and then…well, you know.  Point is, he’s been trying to keep it together down there, but it’s about time we gave our general an honest-to-goodness army to work with.

So, earlier today I held a strategy session to make plans to send a full invasion force to Pandaria.  We had the usual suspects there — Eitrigg, Malkorok, Mokvar to take notes.  Malkorok had his lieutenant Rak’gor Bloodrazor sit in for the planning.  Plus…an extra unexpected attendee, who…well, you’ll see.

Cut to the transcript.

 

GARROSH:  First, a status update.  The latest from Nazgrim is that he and his people are licking their wounds from a major battle with the Alliance forces down there.  They’ve moved from the Jade Forest to a town in the northern mountains while they recover.  Most of them, anyway.

EITRIGG:  Are Nazgrim and his team all right?

GARROSH:  Scratched up but still kicking, from what I gather.  Always hard to tell with Nazgrim — he’ll never let on if he’s really hurt.  You know him.

MALKOROK:  I assume our forces were victorious against the Alliance dogs, as they’re alive to tell the tale?

GARROSH:  Not so much.  The battle was basically a stalemate.

MALKOROK:  You mean to say, Warchief, that that fool Nazgrim failed not only to defeat a depleted Alliance force, but even to go down fighting like an orc?  And now he has the audacity to report this disgrace from the comfort of some remote bed while he nurses his wounds like a human?

EITRIGG:  Considering what Nazgrim seems to have had to work with…

MALKOROK:  And now you defend his incompetence, old man?

GARROSH:  Well hey, look, Malkorok.  Believe me, I’m all for being tough on the troops and all that, but to be fair, Nazgrim DID lose most of his actual Horde soldiers in the crash of the Hellscream’s Fist.

MALKOROK:  And proceeded to offset those losses by recruiting from among the locals, did he not?

GARROSH:  Yeah, but look at the locals.  I mean, dude, you know how I’m always saying it’s like I’ve got a bunch of trained monkeys working for me?  <scans around the room>  No offense.  But yeah, Nazgrim?  LITERALLY had a bunch of trained monkeys to work with.

MALKOROK:  What about the Alliance?

GARROSH:  What about them?

MALKOROK:  The Alliance reportedly took heavy losses and drew support from the natives as well.  Who did they have fighting for them?

EITRIGG:  <scanning notes>  I think Krog included something about this in one of his reports…

GARROSH:  Something with a “J,” I think.

MOKVAR:  Jinyu.

GARROSH:  Yeah, that’s it, jinyu.

MOKVAR:  <paging through reports>  Which…from the way Krog describes them…would be a race of…sort of…king-size murlocs.

GARROSH:  <blinks, then rubs forehead>  …The FUCK is Nazgrim doing down there?

MALKOROK:  You see?

EITRIGG:  Do we know anything else about the battle with the Alliance?  I will grant, it doesn’t sound like Nazgrim to flee the battlefield…

GARROSH:  Nazgrim’s report was pretty sketchy on the details there.  I’ve gotten some extra intel from Krog to fill it out some, though.  Looks like the battle between Nazgrim’s monkeys and the Alliance fish men…

Garrosh trails off, then stares into the distance for a moment.

EITRIGG:  Warchief?

MOKVAR:  Garrosh?

Garrosh shakes his head and pulls his attention back.

GARROSH:  Yeah.  Sorry.  I just heard myself saying that last part and had to take a minute to be sad.  Where was I?

MOKVAR:  Monkeys versus fish men.

GARROSH:  Yeah.  Monkeys versus fish men.  So according to— I mean seriously, doesn’t that sound like a bad videogame or something?

MOKVAR:  Just watch, if Spazzle isn’t coding that already, he will as soon as he reads this.

GARROSH:  I know, right?

EITRIGG:  Warchief…focus, please.

GARROSH:  Yeah, yeah, okay…  So…  <sighs>  …monkeys versus fish men.  Which I guess took place at the foot of this huge statue in a place called Serpent’s Heart.  From what I can gather, the battle was pretty even, which is kind of depressing  in itself, considering, when it was broken up by the arrival of this giant black monster.  Which basically wiped out both sides and left the survivors fucked up and scattrered.

MALKOROK:  What kind of monster could take out both armies?

GARROSH:  From what Krog reported, it…

Vol’jin enters.

Hang on.  What are YOU doing here, troll?

VOL’JIN:  I heard dere was a meetin’ going’ on, mon.  I figured mah invitation musta got lost in da mail.

GARROSH:  Uh, yeah, as if I would have sent YOU an invitation for these planning sessions…

VOL’JIN:  Ya see now, mon?  Ya be tinkin’ a me as such a good friend, I don’ even be needin’ an invitation!  Dat’s why everybody loves ya, mon.

GARROSH:  <rubbing forehead>  What.  Do you WANT.  Vol’jin?

VOL’JIN:  I hear ya be plannin’ an invasion in Pandaria, mon, and I be here ta keep an eye on what ya be doin’.

GARROSH:  Keep an eye on me?  I don’t answer to you, troll, nor do I have to EXPLAIN myself to you, so if you’re here to make life difficult, you can just head back to your island now.

VOL’JIN:  I be da leader of da Darkspear, mon, an’ I got a right ta know what da Horde be doin’.

MALKOROK:  You know I can easily take care of—

GARROSH:  Not now, Malkorok.  <grumbles>  Fine.  You can sit in, Vol’jin.  TRY not to make yourself into too much of a toothache.

VOL’JIN:  Oh don’cha be worryin’ ’bout me, mon.  Ya won’t even know I be here.  It’ll be like I be invisible.

Garrosh stares at Vol’jin for a long moment, then exchanges several pensive glances with Eitrigg and Mokvar.  He looks back to Vol’jin again and eyes him for another moment.

GARROSH:  Okay, well—

VOL’JIN:  Like da Lich King’s horse!

GARROSH:  Just SIT DOWN and SHUT UP, Vol’jin.

VOL’JIN:  Sure, mon.

Vol’jin takes a seat at the conference table next to Malkorok.  Malkorok glances at him and sneers; Vol’jin answers with an exaggerated grin.

GARROSH:  So as I was saying, like an hour ago…about the creature at Serpent’s Heart.  Apparently it was something the pandas call a “sha” — sort of a demon that feeds off of powerful emotions.

VOL’JIN:  <eyes narrow>  You don’ say, mon…

MALKOROK:  Hmm…interesting…  I wonder if our warlocks could influence these sha.  If they’re strong enough to take down two armies, they could be a powerful resource if harnessed…

VOL’JIN:  Dat be some bad mojo ya talkin’ ’bout, mon.

MALKOROK:  I thought you were going to be quiet, troll.

MOKVAR:  He’s right, though — these sha don’t sound like something we want to risk meddling with.

EITRIGG:  As it stands, I’m already troubled enough by some reports I’ve seen of demonic summoning by some of the initial fleet…

MOKVAR:  Wait, seriously?

MALKOROK:  You two would have our warlocks not avail themselves of all the power at their disposal for the benefit of the Horde?

MOKVAR:  Didn’t “our warlocks” get themselves into enough trouble already “availing” themselves of demonic power?

MALKOROK:  Yes, let’s have the scribe lecture us on the proper conduct of warlocks.

MOKVAR:  I used to be a warlock.

MALKOROK:  Oh, that’s right, you were, weren’t you?  Then by all means continue, scribe.  Tell us more about the evils of seeking power through demonology.

Mokvar looks back to his notes awkwardly.

GARROSH:  Look, the fact is, Nazgrim doesn’t have the people or the resources to establish a strong Horde presence in Pandaria or prevent the Alliance from doing the same.  I already have ships being prepared for a large-scale incursion.  The southern coast of Pandaria has a few locations that sound like they’d be well-suited for a base.  We can scout a specific spot while we finish gathering troops and equipment for the trip.

EITRIGG:  Grizzle Gearslip of the Bilgewater goblins says the construction team should have siege engines ready within a week or so.

GARROSH:  Well tell me this — when he says “a week or so,” does he mean a WEEK OR SO “week or so,” or is this a maybe-in-your-lifetime “week or so” like when those goblins “week or so”-ed their estimate on rebuilding the Orgrimmar ramparts after the Cataclysm?  Which they STILL haven’t finished two years later, by the way.

VOL’JIN:  So we be doin’ dis, eh mon?  Bringin’ da war to dis new land?

MALKOROK:  The war has already been brought, troll.  We now bring only victory.

GARROSH:  Once the equipment and siege engines are ready, it’s just a matter of lining up troop deployments.

MALKOROK:  Most able-bodied adults not otherwise committed to important duties have been conscripted for service, Warchief.  Rak’gor and I are in the process of assigning veteran supervisors to the new trainee program as well.

EITRIGG:  What trainee program is this?  I haven’t heard anything about it.

MALKOROK:  Nor would you.  It’s a Kor’kron program.

EITRIGG:  I didn’t realize the Kor’kron operated in secret now.  Has Saurfang adopted some new policy?

MALKOROK:  <visibly annoyed>  The program…is for recruiting and training of orcish youth for service to the Horde, as per the Warchief’d edict after the Northwatch Hold…events.

EITRIGG:  Orcish youth?  What age do you mean?

MALKOROK:  I shouldn’t need to tell you the traditional age of passage, old man.  Fourteen — the age a youth is fit to take a blade for the honor of his clan.

VOL’JIN:  By da spirits, mon, dey be children!

MALKOROK:  A boy is a man the day he can slay a foe in defense of home and kin, troll.  I wouldn’t expect you to understand such things.

VOL’JIN:  Yah, mon, I really don’ get out much.  Ya know, I don’ get invited to da cool kid parties.

GARROSH:  Can’t imagine why.

MALKOROK:  Nevertheless…don’t make it out as if the trainees are being handed swords and pushed blindly onto a battlefield — they are being trained and guided by some of our finest warriors.  If anything, this is an honor.

GARROSH:  Fourteen, though, huh?  I thought it was fifteen.

MALKOROK:  No, Warchief, fourteen.

GARROSH:  Are you certain?  I’m pretty sure it was always fifteen back in Nagrand.

MALKOROK:  No, sir.  I suppose that might have been a regional difference?

GARROSH:  Huh, okay.  Fourteen, then.

VOL’JIN:  I don’ be likin’ da sound a dis, mon.  Not one bit a it.  Draggin’ our war into other people’s lands, roundin’ up children ta make inta soldiers…

GARROSH:  Well imagine my surprise, Vol’jin.  Imagine my complete and total SHOCK to see YOU griping and complaining about what I’m doing.  You know, I might actually LISTEN to some of these objections of yours if you didn’t object to EVERY SINGLE THING I do.

VOL’JIN:  Maybe if ya listened once in a while before ya did dese tings, mon, ya wouldn’t have to listen to people complainin’ after ya did ‘em.

MALKOROK:  I don’t hear anyone complaining except for you, troll.  Other than that simpering tauren you usually have leading you by the nose.  I’m half surprised he’s not here as well.

VOL’JIN:  I drew da short straw, mon.

GARROSH:  All right, enough of this.  Both of you quiet down.  It’s settled — we’re moving ahead with the Pandaria plan and getting ready for a departure within the next few weeks.  And TROLL, get this into your head: this is happening.  And I have no intention of listening to you bellyache every step of the way.

VOL’JIN:  Don’cha worry ’bout dat, mon.  If dere be one ting I know by now, it’s dat you ain’t gonna listen.

GARROSH:  Damn right.  You’re finally getting it.  Okay then… I think that covers everything.  I have another meeting I need to get to in the Drag in a few.  For now, let’s get things rolling gathering materials and finalizing troop assignments for the invasion.  Oh, and Eitrigg?

EITRIGG:  Yes, sir?

GARROSH:  When we compile the final roster, for the love of the spirits, make sure Dontrag and Utvoch aren’t on the list.

EITRIGG:  Yes, sir.

GARROSH:  There are going to be enough potential headaches as it is on this mission — the last thing I’m going to need it THOSE two yammering in my ear.

VOL’JIN:  Oh, hey, mon…

GARROSH:  Oh for fuck’s sake… What now?

VOL’JIN:  You talkin’ bout dem two orcs who got to Orgrimmar late after da Theramore raid?

GARROSH:  Yeah, you know them?

VOL’JIN:  Yah, mon, dey came by da Echo Isles after dat.  Dey was getting deyselves all confused, mon.

GARROSH:  “Confused” has a short ramp-up time for them.

VOL’JIN:  No, but listen, mon — dey was like, “It be de Echo Isles, right?  Den how come we can’t hear an echo when we talk?”  An’ dey kep’ tryin’ ta yell stuff into da air to see if dey could get an echo!

GARROSH:  <chortles>  Oh…dude…that’s like the time I was saying something to them about Razorfen Kraul, and they were like, “So do all the quillboar there crawl?  We thought they knew how to walk upright.  Is it some kind of a rule there?”

VOL’JIN:  <laughing>  Ya better not let dem go to da Howling Fjord, mon, dey might tink dey’re losing dey hearing ’cause dey don’ hear da howling!

GARROSH:  <chuckling>  Well hell, you should have seen them the first time they saw Thousand Needles.  “Are you sure it’s a thousand of them?  I only counted like 60.  Did we miss some?”

VOL’JIN:  <laughs more>  You shoulda told ’em we switched to da metric system, mon.

Garrosh guffaws, leaning against the table.  Vol’jin laughs heartily as well and wipes a tear from one eye.  After another moment spent laughing, Garrosh and Vol’jin look up at each other and both of their faces fade into uneasy expressions.

GARROSH:  <scowls>  Fucking troll.

VOL’JIN:  <aside, muttering>  Don’ blame me, mon, I voted for da basic campfire…

Garrosh and Vol’jin both get up and stomp out of the room in opposite directions.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,016 other followers