Archive for oblique references
Averry stepping in for Garrosh.
So…yeah. That way-too-long July that I warned about last time? You know, way, way back when I made my last post, back when devilsaurs ruled the earth? Well, the crazy-busy July started kicking my ass in June, which has led to the current (most recent) lull in blog production.
So…sorry. I feel bad that I keep having these dead periods in the blog, and I appreciate all of you who’ve hung in there through my disappearances. I won’t promise that where won’t be any more of them (I know it would be a promise I couldn’t keep, despite best intentions), but I will promise, for what it’s worth, that I’m not going anywhere until I’ve seen the Warchief’s story through to the end. I have a LOT of story still planned, and there’s exactly ZERO chance of me bailing on the blog before I finish telling it. Keep hanging in there with me, and I’ll do my best to make it worthwhile.
Now then, with that said, we have a little business to get to. First and foremost, with my schedule finally becoming a little more human in August, we’ll be’ll be able to pick up our Meta raiding ways soon. I’m planning to resume our regular monthly Flex raid beginning Saturday, August 9. As always, catch me on RealID (Averry#1116) around 8:00 PM EDT to join the party. For anyone new to the raids, we try to hold them each month, on the Saturday that marks the final day of that month’s Darkmoon Faire.
Second of all, a return to a semi-sorta-normal schedule also means that I’m going to be able to resume blogging more regularly. While I haven’t been posting these past few weeks, by the way, don’t think that I haven’t been working on getting blog material lined up for production. In fact, here, witness the heap of posts that are currently written and ready to go! (Yes, I write by hand first, then transcribe and/or draw from there. At least most of the time. For whatever reason — don’t ask me why — I write more easily when I’m doing it on paper rather than at the keyboard.)
(Right now, by the way, the main limiting factor in posting all this material is the time involved in preparing comics for much of it. The writing is something I can do in small bursts whenever I have a spare ten minutes; the drawing requires much longer blocks of interrupted time. Still, take some comfort in knowing there’s a full pipeline on its way…)
Anyway, the point is, I have a lot of stuff prepared for you, and will have it going into production very shortly — very likely to kick off Meta raid day this Saturday. For anyone who’d like the tiniest of peeks at what’s on the way, I’ve edited the Major Storylines index page for Mokvar’s ongoing story to include the titles of the next several posts…
Also! I’m sure many of you already listen to the Lorewalkers Roundtable podcast (and if you don’t, you should!), which streams every Saturday afternoon at 2:00 PM eastern. I’ve recently started contributing to the show, in the form of letters from Garrosh as he bounces through time with Kairoz. I believe the Lorewalkers have been running the feature under the unofficial title of “Letters from a Fallen Warchief,” though I kind of prefer to think of it as “When in the World is Garrosh Hellscream?” Either way, they’ve been fun to write and even more fun to listen to Lorewalker Sol read in an orc voice. Definitely hop over for a listen! I’m writing them very much in the voice of blog!Garrosh, even if they detail events that the blog hasn’t gotten to. Yet. (If you don’t think I’m planting little details in these letters that I can pick up in future blog posts…well, it’s nice to meet you.)
And also…yes, I’ve seen it. If you know what I’m talking about…well, you know. If you don’t know, I’m not inclined to spoil it for you. But…yeah, stay tuned. I’ve got some work to do.
Be seeing you,
So, we were right about Ji heading down here to the Burning Steppes. Only trouble is, by the time we landed at Flame Crest, he’d already come and gone. (Boy, it sure is a shame we didn’t get down here faster, like, say, if SOMEBODY hadn’t wasted shitloads of time fucking doodling.) And yeah, he hooked up with Eitrigg’s son Ariok when he got here, and I guess the two of them took off to check out Blackrock Mountain. And yeah, that’s one MORE thing I might have to smack Eitrigg around over when we get back home, because fucking hell.
I headed over to Blackrock Mountain with Spazzle and Gurtash, and after some initial ohh’ing and ahh’ing from the noobs, we headed into Blackrock Spire. It was a weird thing — I’d poked my nose in here once before, back when I was rounding up the Blackrock orcs (Malkorok included) when I brought them into the Horde, but this was different. Now the place was like the haunted house version of Blackrock Spire. Every few rooms we ran into these reanimated, undead versions of the drakonids and dragonspawn that used to hang out here back in the day, back before the Black Dragonflight got cleaned out. Well, they were back for an encore now, at least some of them, at least in fairly diminished form. Don’t know what’s causing it, but I can tell you it’s creepy as well.
Mind you, none of that really mattered once I chopped them into pieces every time any of them got in our way. But still.
We poked around the spire some, and finally, a fair ways in, we finally stumbled onto the guests of honor themselves — Ji and Ariok, poking around in some kind of summoning chamber. Apparently they found some kind of ritual altar there that Lunchbox seemed sure had some connection to…you know, I’m still not even sure about the details. Something about the dragon guy that was in the middle of Mokvar’s whole deal. I wasn’t in much of a mood to listen to that crap, but Ji was focused on the damn altar like he thought it was a pork chop, and then Ariok started chiming in with HIS two coppers, and hoo boy were we off to the races then, what with the bitching and the complaining. You know, the Anytime Somebody Talks to Garrosh These Days special.
Anyhow, we went round and round a few times, and to tell you the truth, I was just about to throw my hands up and let the idiot poke around the damn altar just to shut them up, when we started hearing more snarling and growling from those dragon-zombie-whatever-the-fucks from down the hall. Then sounds of combat, and general rattling around, and then, before we even had a chance to go check out what the hell was going on, well…
You know, I’m not sure if I want to kill her or if I’m starting to like her.
Anyway, by that point, Shayari was already right there, so I figured I might as well let her go ahead and see if she can figure anything out about the damn altar, and maybe satisfy everybody’s morbid curiosity about the whole Mokvar thing. Plus, you know, good luck getting her to NOT do something, because, hey, maybe I’ve mentioned this already, fucking hell.
[Notes and Notables: As I announced a few posts ago, I'm going to be taking a short break from posting, but rest assured that I will be using a not-inconsiderable portion of that time getting things lined up for the next sequence of posts. The always preposterous and sometimes exciting adventures of
everyone's favorite some people's favorite the Warchief will continue with "Scene of the Crime" on Wednesday, May 21.
Also, a Shayari fashion note: The sharp-eyed among you will recognize Shayari's outfit in this post as the "Indiana Shay" outfit submitted by Malauch in the Transmogs for Shay contest. Malauch was one of our five voters' choice contestants; I'd never actually announced a final winner on that front, but that was in large part because the polling ended up being an endless back-and-forth between Maualch's entry and Khizzara's "Scarlet Sindorei Robe." So, since I'm only too happy to have a wealth of mage looks (and happy readers!), I'm going to go ahead and (belatedly) declare both Malauch and Khizzara winners in a dead heat. Grats to all our winners, thanks to all who submitted and voted, and by all means keep an eye out for more stylish looks from our resident half-draenei mage in training!]
You have logged on.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] That’s what I told him, but I think we may just have to humor him for the time being.
[Officer][Lorthemar] Once we finish our work on the animus golem here, we should be able to augment our resources.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] thanks!
[Officer][Lorthemar] Oh, hello, Spazzle.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You -do- seem to have been spending a lot of time on that of late.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Spazzle.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] np
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] hey guys
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Hey, mon.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] anyway hate to craft and run but i need to log for now
[Officer][Lorthemar] Well I suspect it’s going to yield some very useful results, once Aethas gets done with it.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: hey
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: how are you feeling?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] later leslie
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i have some magic research to go work on
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] how’s everyone doing?
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Better, mon.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] You’ll have to keep me posted of your progress.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I jus’ got one ting I got to do here in Pandaria, den I be ready to come back to Durotar.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] too bad prof’s not on, he could probably help you
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Start workin’ on cleanin’ up da mess dere.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] lol oh dont get me started with him again
[Officer][Lorthemar] Oh, speaking of which, it looks like Jaina is doing some magic research herself.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: that’s good, I’m glad you’re almost recovered
[ProfHubert | Faranell] has logged on.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Something of a quiet night tonight, Spazzle.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: What about you, mon? I haven’t heard much from ya in a while.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] oh hey there he is
[Officer][Lorthemar] Now I just have to see…
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: eh, it’s just been kinda crazy here
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg i’m leaving so dont try to get him started
[Guild][Lorthemar] What kind of research, Leslie?
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I bet, mon.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: i’m in the burning steppes with garrosh
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: looking for ji
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] started on what?
[Guild][Lorthemar] I’ve been working with a number of mages myself of late.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: we just landed in flame crest a little while ago
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ah, well it’s good to see him logging on, I suppose.
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] leslie’s doing some kind of magic research
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ya talk to Ariok dere, mon?
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] who, faranell? why’s that?
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] oh its actually really cool lor
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m actually not entirely clear on the details, Spazzle.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] One moment.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: no, he’s not here, that’s the thing
[Guild][ProfHubert | Faranell] well that should be…adequate.
[Guild][Lorthemar] Oh? How so?
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: vahgruk says ji came here a couple days ago
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: i guess ariok went with him to blackrock spire to look for clues about mokvar
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Yes, Leslie, this sounds interesting indeed. What are you working on, pray tell?
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok my dungeon queue just popped, probably going to be quiet for a few
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] omg prof geez
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Might be some fireworks is ya find ’em, mon. Ariok ain’t no fan o’ da Warchief.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Evidently there was some sort of calamity at the Apothecarium earlier.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: yeah, so I hear
[Officer][Lorthemar] I must admit, if it weren’t necessary for us to be discreet about who we are, I would love to lord our animus research over her.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] what kind of calamity?
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Matter of fact, mon –
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ariok heard how Garrosh been treatin’ Eitrigg, he might take care of our ‘Warchief’ problems himself.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] well
[Officer][Lorthemar] You know she would burn up with jealousy if she knew what we have on our hands.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: I’m not going to… I don’t even know what you’re suggesting, but I’m not going to
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m not sure; the good doctor has been rather secretive the last few days.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] not to brag but
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] we drained the power of the thunder king into a staff!
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I know ya don’ wanna hear it, mon, but da sooner we do somethin’ ’bout Garrosh, da easier it gonna be for all of us.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Though I’m not likely to complain – whatever is going on down there has prompted Bragor Bloodfist to spend much of his time in the Apothecarium as well, which means less time with him hovering around me.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh wouldn’t help Ji.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ariok is.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I understand why.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] huh, okay
[Officer][Lorthemar] she drained the power… of…
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Ariok see Ji, an’ all he know is he’s Horde, and he need help, and he gonna give it to ’im.
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: hey
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh, he don’ see tings dat way.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] anyway!
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] i need to run!
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh don’t see nothin’ but power an’ vengeance, mon.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: He don’t see da Horde like Ariok, or me. Or you.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] A propos of nothing, Lor’themar, you strike me as someone who might know a thing or two about fine dining. Would you happen to know what type of wine goes best with crow?
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: well hello, person who’s never talked to me before but now takes a sudden inexplicable interest.
[Guild][Proudleslie | Jaina] see everyone soon!
[Proudleslie | Jaina] has logged off.
[SteveKravitz | Utvoch] has logged on.
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: um, yeah, sorry
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Da way I see it, da Horde is family.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Good evening, Dontrag.
[Officer][Lorthemar] I… just… she… HOW?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Interesting.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Da world knock us down, family pick each other back up again.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] hey
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Three excellent questions, Regent-Lord.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Garrosh, he don’t see family.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Don’t understand it.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Never had one.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] but i’m utvoch
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, is that your alias, then?
[Officer][Lorthemar] I think I need to go lie down.
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: I just heard about the… whatever, down in the apothecarium
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] lol what?
[Officer][Lorthemar] This is not good for my rage.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: you never met lakkara, did you?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Well, it’s a curious thing, Dontrag.
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: is everything okay?
[Lorthemar] has logged off.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Who dat, mon?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Just now, Jaina Proudmoore logged off. And a few seconds later, you logged on.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or should I say, you logged -back- on.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] yeah i logged back in, haven’t gotten to play in a couple days
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: i’ll manage.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: never mind
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh come now, Dontrag.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or whoever you really are.
You whispered to [Bob | Vol’jin]: anyway, we’ve been over this before
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] that would be utvoch
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] So you would have us believe.
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: what about shay? is she okay?
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: I ain’t gonna keep on ya, mon.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Do you really think we wouldn’t put two and two together?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] well no, two and two is pretty easy math
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And yet far greater than the calculus of your deception would presume us capable of!
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um what?
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispers: Ya a good mon, Spazzle. I know ya don’ wanna turn on someone ya tink is a friend.
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispers: i’m sure shayari is wonderful, wherever she is.
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispers: Ya be loyal. Dat’s a good ting.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] How long have you been Jaina Proudmoore, Dontrag?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] dontrag’s not even here
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh no? Then to whom am I speaking? Are you -still- Jaina Proudmoore?
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: wait
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Nay, have you in fact been Jaina Proudmoore lo this entire time in the guild?
[Bob | Vol’jin] whispered: Time gonna come, though, ya gonna have ta decide how long ya gonna be loyal ta Garrosh, when he ain’t loyal ta us.
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: wait
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: what???
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no i mean dontrag is over in the valley of honor visiting his nephew ug’thok
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] he should be on soon though
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: where is she??
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh come now, Dontrag, don’t insult our intelligence.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] why would i do that
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If you’re going to make up a cover story, at least keep your lies straight.
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: that’s the 5000g question, now isn’t it?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We all know Utvoch isn’t your nephew.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] what
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] no no not utvoch, ug’thok
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: what happened??
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Don’t try to hide behind an obvious typographical error, Dontrag.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m utvoch
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or are you Ug’thok?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or perhaps Ig’thak?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or Jig’nak?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or – as the trail grows clearer – JAINA!
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: well, she was settling in well enough, and we were starting to go over a few lessons.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m confused
[GilbertRose | Dontrag] has logged on.
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: she seemed to be taking more of an interest in azerothian geography, but i figured she was curious about the lay of the land in her new home, so i ran through an overview for her.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Oh, and here’s your alleged nephew.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Or might it be Kalecgos? All bets are off at this point.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] um, whats going on?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] who’s kalecgos?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] WHO INDEED!
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: and evidently, she spotted a vacation destination that looked too good to pass up, because off she went.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] what the hell?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] But one thing at a time!
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] We were just discussing, Utvoch, how your uncle, heretofore known by his alias of “Dontrag,” has at last been exposed!
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you can’t be serious
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] dammit ut what did you do
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i swear i just logged on
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you let her run away?!
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] As his true identity, Jaina Proudmoore!
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] and said where you were
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wait, what about jaina?
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: i didn’t LET her do anything.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] The woman who has incurred the rightful wrath of the Horde!
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] isn’t that the lady that was in all those tabloids with thrall?
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: as the swollen purple region on my head will readily attest.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Ruthlessly persecuted our citizens in Dalaran!
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Indeed! Sullied the good name of a beloved Warchief!
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] ok but what about her?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Don’t act like you don’t know, Ug’thok.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] If that -is- your real name.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] wait, ug’thok is my nephew
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] that’s what i tried to tell her
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: incidentally, i’ll be sending garrosh the bill for the repairs to my jaw.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] No, Ug’thok is -Dontrag’s- nephew.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] right but i’m dontrag
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: it was brand new, too.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] and i’m utvoch
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: typical.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Now don’t be ridiculous, the both of you.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Why, if -you- were Utvoch, Dontrag, then that would mean that you are also Dontrag’s nephew.
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: man seriously
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] no that’s ug’thok not utvoch
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] And clearly you could not be his nephew.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] right because we’re not related
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you have GOT to find her
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Because JAINA PROUDMOORE IS NO ONE’S NEPHEW!
[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] ok you know, i’ve been out of my dungeon for a while, but i’m just sitting here in awe, BQ
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: capital idea. how do you suggest i do that?
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] um
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] …
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: I… I don’t know, can’t you home in on her or something?
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i’m really confused
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] It therefore stands to reason, Dontrag, that since you are Jaina, and as such cannot be Utvoch, it must therefore be Dontrag who is Utvoch, and therefore your nephew.
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: this isn’t some sci-fi/fantasy novel, i can’t just wave a magic wand.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] my eyes are starting to hurt
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: well i can. but you know what i mean.
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] but how can he be my nephew, i’m an only child
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: dude really
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: that time I lost a BOOK garrosh loaned me, he beat me till I was green and brown
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] SEE? And the tangled web of your would-be deception comes further unraveled!
[ProfHubert | Faranell] whispered: aren’t you always green and brown?
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: a DARKER SHADE – goblins bruise differently, ok??
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] i think i need some grog
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: the point is, that was just a book – you lost his DAUGHTER, man!
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] yea me to
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] are you having fun?
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Perhaps you can conjure some, Jaina.
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: ugh I need to go
You whispered to [ProfHubert | Faranell]: you need to get on this, really
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] um
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Does it show? ^_^
[Guild][SteveKravitz | Utvoch] whatever
[SteveKravitz | Utvoch] has logged off.
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] At any rate.
[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag] i guess we’ll be back later.
[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] I need to take off – see you later
[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] I’m glad we cleared all this up.
[GilbertRose | Dontrag] has logged off.
[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] Take care, Spazzle.
[Guild][Bob | Vol’jin] Dark Lady, I jus’ gotta say, dat was beautiful.
You have logged off.
[Addendum! Remember, we have our next Meta Raid coming up this Saturday at 8:00 PM EDT. Just as a logistical matter, I'd appreciate it if anyone who thinks they're likely to attend would let me know, whether it be through a comment, an e-mail, a message on Twitter, or what-have-you. Looking forward to "seeing" many of you over the weekend!]
I mean, really. I seriously need some better fucking minions.
[One final noteworthy note -- this post features a cameo from Transmogs-for-Shay winner Sintra E'Drien, in the person of his DK Equemorticia... um... I think. I neglected to write down the exact spelling of that name. Oops, if error resulted?]
* In case you missed that debacle from MoP beta, here.
[The adventures of Spaz Slade continue tomorrow! Also, a HUGE thank you to Khizzara, who is responsible for the idea of doing a noir comic. (Or, alternatively, if you were rolling your eyes most of the way through this one…um…blame her!)
So this one was a surprise. Here I was, going through my volumes and volumes of fan mail LIKE I GET ON A DAILY BASIS, and lo and behold, I get a message from someone nominating me for an award. The someone in question was Myriade, writer of Myriadoscope, and the award in question was something called the Liebster Award, which I didn’t really know anything about at the time but which I could already say with confidence that I DAMN WELL FUCKING DESERVED.
So I did a little looking around to see what the deal was with this award, and what I would need to do to beat out the other nominees to win it, like if there was honorable combat involved because holy crap you know I would be all over that shit, but, come to find out, it doesn’t work that way. There’s no final WINNER, just a chain of nominees naming other nominees to draw people’s attention to other blogs. Which is kind of cool, as far as spreading the word about good reads, even if it IS a little hippie for my tastes what with the “we’re all winners!” vibe, which, come on.
Anyway. Here’s the quasi-official description of the award, which everybody seems to be quoting, because it’s the hip thing to do these days:
Well, it is only an AWESOME award given to up and coming bloggers. Given by other up and coming bloggers. It’s a cool way to find other blogs and feel like you are getting into the blogging stratosphere. It is simple, you get nominated by someone else, mention their page and a link to their blog in your Liebster Award Post, answer the 11 questions they give you, then tag 11 other nominees and give them a new set of 11 questions to answer.
So, as you can see, receiving the nomination means I have some work to do now. FUCKING AWESOME IDEA FOR AN AWARD, FOLKS, HONOR PEOPLE BY STICKING THEM WITH FUCKING HOMEWORK. Anyway. Here are the 11 questions from Myriade:
1. Favourite race/class in WoW and why?
Quick note on the lingo here: Those of you who aren’t as internet-savvy as yours truly might be a little thrown off by that “WoW” acronym. Apparently it’s a new thing in online circles to use that as an abbreviation for “Whole of World,” as in, fucking everywhere. Which, granted, is kind of like how some people will literally say “LOL” now rather than just laughing, which I’ve never really gotten on board with myself, because fuck those assholes. Anyway.
As for the actual question, I mean, come on, you even need to ask this? Orc, because what the fuck else would I want to be, and warrior.
2. Achievement/Title you’re proudest of?
Obviously, the easy answer here is the title of Warchief. Hard to top that one. Still, I could probably make a case for Chieftain of the Warsong Clan, since that one came from me pulling my emo head out of my ass to assume my place as leader of our clan and Grom’s successor.
But, nah, I’m still going to go with Warchief.
Although, since I’m probably going to be heading down to Blackrock Mountain soon, I may have to see about picking up [Leeeeeeeeeeeeeroy!] while I’m in the neighborhood.
3. What’s in your bags (any character, or all of them)?
Huh. I’m not sure if this is asking about real life, or my Earth Online characters. I mean, for myself in reality, I don’t really walk around with a whole lot of stuff on me. (Such as, you know, a shirt.) I try not to weigh myself down more than I have to, seeing as I need to be ready to leap into action at a moment’s notice, and really, keeping Mannoroth’s tusks balanced on my shoulders can be a tough enough job on its own, without lugging extra crap around with me.
As for my EO toons, hoo boy, they have flat-out TOO MUCH stuff in their bags. Just tons of random crap, receipts from vendors, little odds and ends that they’ve picked up but aren’t really useful for anything but I still haven’t ever gotten around to tossing. And by the way, I just have to ask, who the fuck is the psychopath over at Genesis Entertainment who designed the bag system in Earth Online? Dude, you can’t carry fucking ANYTHING with you! You pick up like six or seven things, and your bags are full. Have these game designers never left their houses or something, so they don’t even know about stacks of 20?!
4. Favourite expansion/instance/boss fight?
Huh. Another Earth Online question. Okay. Well, there’s still plenty of content I’ve never gotten around to, to be honest, but I’m pretty fond of the BlizzCon raid. It’s always kind of a hoot seeing which random contestant spawns you get in the cosplay gauntlet leading up to the Joker Jay <Host with the Mohr– er, Most> boss. But I think my favorite encounter is the Lore Panel council fight — you know, the one with the lead quest design guy, and the historian adds, and most of all the council leader guy, Chris what’s-his-face, the dude with the beard who kinda sounds like Varian. I LOVE getting to run up and smack that guy in the face. Especially if it’s one of those pulls where he randomly mind controls me for a minute and makes to do some shit that doesn’t make a damn bit of sense.
5. Pet peeve in WoW?
Wait, you want me to narrow this down to one? I don’t know about that. But here’s a few, off the top of my head:
Gnomes. OMFG gnomes.
Whoever it is who keeps using the last of the toilet paper in the Grommash Hold outhouse and not putting out a new roll. (Your Warchief does NOT like having to do the Waddle of Shame over to the storage shed.)
“There”/”their”/”they’re”. Because FUCK YOU, internet:
Varian, especially the way he keeps breathing.
Being corrected on which one is Dontrag and which one is Utvoch, as if anybody really gives a shit.
6. What inspired your blog?
I think I mentioned this way back in my first post. It all got started when Eitrigg recommended I take up blogging. He said I might find it a helpful outlet, to talk about what’s on my mind, keep a running record of my experiences, all that sort of thing. I think he figured it would give me a chance to reflect more, and think about situations before acting. Or some lazy old man shit like that. Anyway, that’s how it got started, and it’s just been a gravy train of awesome since then. AREN’T YOU LUCKY.
7. Favourite blog-related moment?
Umm… Well, considering I detail almost everything that happens to me here, pretty much any moment from the last couple of years would be a blog-related moment, right? Gotta say, that one mailbag where Windblossom wrote in about clocking Varian still gives me all kinds of happy. Memory lane:
I’m sure there others. I might point out others as I think of them.
8. One thing you can’t live without?
Okay, okay, go ahead and make your joke about lemon squares.
Real answer? Sappy as it sounds, Gorehowl. Not even for what an awesome weapon it is, either. Having it with me is like a constant, living (but not) reminder of where I’ve come from, of the legacy of my father and the resilience of the Horde, of everything our people have endured and overcome. Having it with me is like a validation of our kind. Like a little part of Grom is still here, watching what he enabled us to become.
9. Place you’d most like to visit?
Hmm. You know, I’ve gotten around a whole lot the last few years, between the Northrend campaign, and all my inspection visits around Azeroth, and now all our work in Pandaria… I’m not sure if there’s really anywhere I haven’t gotten to see at this point, other than, like, other planets and shit. Or, say, getting to see places I know, like back home on Draenor, back before things got all fucked up. But that would be changing WHERE I’d most like to visit to WHEN I’d most like to visit, which is cheating, for one thing, and also, FUCKING TIME TRAVEL.
10. Favourite fictional character?
At the risk of being repetitive, this guy:
I mean, can you imagine if someone like that actually existed?
11. Soundtrack to your life?
Well, most days, when things are going fairly well, it’s pretty much this:
But there’s also this:
(Also, in that one, note the Mortimer cameo at 3:24!)
And, let’s face it, given the clowns I usually have surrounding me, some days I feel like it might as well be this:
And last but not least, if I’m honest, when I’m in one of my more puckish moods, this:
Also, the kazzoo? That’s totally me.
So, next up. This is the part where I’m supposed to link 11 more blogs, and give those bloggers 11 questions of their own to answer. One problem, though — I was going back through some blogs to tag, and while there are a few that still haven’t gotten a nomination already, for every one I found that no one had gotten to, there were like 10 would-be nominees that were already off the table. So, you know, if you do the math there, that means that in order to pull together my 11, I would have to rifle through something like 110 blogs, and, I mean…I’m just way too lazy for that shit. I mean really.
SO. Here’s where I cheat a little and change things up, so I can still do some tagging and point some attention to some worthy bloggers, while also indulging my laziness. STAND BACK, BITCHES, because your Warchief is about to flip the script like Lor’themar flips benches.
SO, here’s the deal. I’m still going to toss out 11 questions to be answered, but instead of scraping together a blog list to tag, I am tagging…YOU. That’s right, you — if you’re reading this post, consider yourself tagged, so you scroll your ass right down to the comments and post a reply with your 11 answers. NO DUCKING OUT ON THIS COMMAND FROM YOUR WARCHIEF, PEOPLE. Especially if you’re one of my regular readers and commenters — I know you’re out there, and I know who you are, and most importantly I KNOW WHERE MANY OF YOU LIVE.
And now, the questions. READ ’EM AND WEEP.
- Do you write a blog? Link it here if so!
- What was the first Azerothian blog you ever read? Was there an early memorable post that hooked you?
- Recommended reading, part one! Link and endorse three bloggers that you’d encourage your fellow readers and minions should check out.
- Recommended reading, part two — link one single post, from wherever, that makes you think “OMG, people HAVE to read this.”
- How long have you been reading the Command Board? What post or storyline was your jumping-on point?
- One more chance for shameless self-promotion: Are you on Twitter? Give yourself a non-Friday #FF here if so. Also feel free to recommend a few accounts worth following.
- What class do you play on Earth Online? (Don’t try to deny that you play. I know my readers.)
- What real-life ability to do you wish your Earth Online character could use?
- Here, I’ll throw a bone to Utvoch. The age-old hoof question: Fem-taur or draenei girls?
- Whose head would you rather have on a pike, Varian’s or Magatha’s?
- If the world were going to end (or change substantially) in, say, oh, six months or so, what would be your bucket list of things you’d want to get done first?
There, you have your assignment. Get to it! YOUR WARCHIEF HAS SPOKEN.
Time for the fashion show at last! It’s taken me a lot of time to get all the Transmogs for Shay entries sorted out, but I’m finally ready to declare some winners and, more importantly, show off the full gamut of sartorial goodies that many of you have sent my way!
A few preliminaries: Thank you to everyone who submitted entries! It was a lot of fun to pore over your designs (even for someone like me, who has never once transmogged anything, ever) (No, really.) and imagine how they might look on everyone’s new favorite half-draenei girl. Choosing winners was extremely difficulty, and honestly, if you wiped my memory and asked me to do it again, I might very well chose different ones — it really was an embarrassment of riches. As such, by the way, I make no guarantees that I won’t dip into more of these outfits if I decide to get ambitious with Shayari’s wardrobe at some point. In fact, I’d say it’s likely that I will. With proper in-blog acknowledgement, of course!
To make the imminent outpouring of fashion more manageable, I’m breaking the outfits down into various categories. Otherwise, the transmogs are listed in the completely arbitrary order that they ended up in the folder I keep for blog images. Apologies if the layout of pictures gets a little messy at times; WordPress doesn’t seem to have the more cooperative editor in the world where these matters are concerned. I’ve included links when available, and tried to link back to the blogs of any other bloggers who submitted entries (please tell at me if I missed you).
And so, with no further ado…on to the transmogs!
N.S.F.G. (Not Safe For Gurtash)
Somehow, I knew this category was going to be necessary. Even though one of the contest criteria was that the outfits needed to be something that could be safely entrusted to Gurtash to draw…well…you know what tends to happen with transmog. Still, I’d decided well in advance that I was going to include all the entries here, so let’s see how some of you sick, sick individuals decided to torment our poor, teenage trainee…
Our first questionable submission comes from Sintra E’Drien, and, well…yeah.
Sintra, don’t say I didn’t warn you if/when Garrosh turns up at your house.
Somehow, I knew someone was going to stick Shay in a bikini. Aliok ended up doing the honors with this number, pointing out rightly that every girl needs a beach outfit, especially with the nice beach near Sen’jin Village. She’s right, of course, but I shudder to imagine what would happen if Gurtash had to draw this…or, for that matter, if Garrosh caught Shayari hanging out with the trolls.
While Aliok was at it, though, she apparently went to the trouble of working up links for an assortment of items compiled by none other than Bob himself. No, really. Aliok writes that Bob informed her, “Dese be for Gurtash so he being practicing his art skills, hahaHA!” Our first offering, such as it is, is for Noblegarden parties:
Next up from Bob, Shay sporting a variation of the dress that I’ve come to think of as the Soridormi gown:
Next, Bob digs out the Lovely Purple Dress to offer a little “celebrity style“:
And finally, Bob gives us an option for those Winter Veil parties:
Um, yeah, thanks, Aliok. Gurtash says thanks, too. Somewhat less sarcastically. (I know, I know. Fucking troll…)
DRAENEI WITH A BLUE DRESS ON (Color May Vary)
Now for some of the real entries! First up, a look at the assortment of dresses, gowns, and robes that were submitted. Since Shayari is a mage, and somewhat girly to boot, I figured these would be a key part of her wardrobe.
First up, we have this look from Myriade, who describes the outfit as “Shay Goes Garrosh” (note all the skulls and spikes — her father would be proud!). It’s actually an impressive way of infusing the robe with a bloodthirsty vibe that you wouldn’t normally associate with mages, and definitely suits Shay’s background:
Next, a set of gowns and dresses from Kaneka. This first one is built around the Gown of Blaumeux; I especially love the choice of matching staff. Honestly, this look would be a serious contender if I weren’t so utterly intimidated by the thought of trying to draw it, because I know my paltry cartooning skills would fail to do it justice.
Next up from Kaneka, an aerial-themed look built around the Windchaser Robes. Again, great coordination with the staff; maybe a tiny bit N.S.F.G, but whatever, the kid can just deal.
And one more from Kaneka (I would comment on what it’s based on, but I don’t have a link for this one, just the screenshot):
Sintra E’Drien, who was a troublemaker a few entries back, returns with something a little more credible here, and provides a pretty classic mage look:
This outfit from ZugZug, which she describes as “formal attire,” is another outfit that’s maybe possibly slightly N.S.F.G., but I’ll be damned if Shay wouldn’t wear it well:
This outfit from Ritaba, based on the Flirtation Regalia, comes in two forms, one with a robe and one with a vest; Ritaba notes that she prefers the vest, but I’m a bit partial to the robe version myself. Either way, it’s a terrific, understated look, though it’s another one that I worry might lose something in translation (read: simplification) into comic form.
Rinike had posted this transmog previously on her eponymous blog (your homework: go look up “eponymous”), but sent these images along for Shayari’s perusal. I’ll always associate this style of wizard hat/mask with early Cataclysm, Shadowfang Keep especially.
Next up, from Toka, a classic robe that many of us will remember from our Burning Crusade days:
Khizzara, longstanding WCB conspirator, secret identity of warrior-in-training Korrina, and author of Blog of the Treant, offers her “Spellbinder” look, complete with a myriad of angles and close-ups. The halo is a great touch, I think, even if Shay may be a little too much of a stinker to earn one the conventional way…
From Ayalea, we have the Green Wedding Hanbok. (Just don’t tell Garrosh what the dress is supposed to mean…) (Or, maybe tell him, so he’ll know to run like hell if he ever sees Garona coming at him with one of these on…)
This simple but elegant robe from Malauch was a difficult cut. I love the look of it, love the simple but effective use of the red and gold to offset the dark gray, but ended up reluctantly leaving it off the final list mainly due to reservations about how well a heavily-black costume would play in comic form.
Another gown from Malauch, this time drawing on purple and green highlights with a kinda-sorta mock-turtleneck style that you don’t see all that much.
Matakoa of Sugar & Blood brings us a vaguely priest-like look for Shayari:
And, finally, from Repgrind (known in-blog as Giska and Wega) of Reputation Grind fame, a very cool-looking robe that also falls into the “I think I would be afraid to try to draw this” category. (Yes, my artistic cowardice is likely to become an ongoing theme.)
GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE
Before we move on from robes and dresses altogether, I should point out one phenomenon that I noticed while sorting out entries: a few of you have very similar tastes! In particular, there were a handful of entries that all drew on the Astralaan Robe (or a very similar look)
First up, from Kaneka:
Then, Ayalea had the same idea, minus the shoulders and plus a rose:
And, this similar from Aliok…notes with a /sigh that this simple but pretty dress looks more like priest than mage gear:
I really like this look, actually, in all its forms. It occurred to me, though, that if you look at the Astralaan Robe closely, it’s actually very nearly identical to Shayari’s signature blue dress, apart from using a different color palette. As such, as much as I like this look, I felt that it kind of defeats the idea of infusing Shayari’s outfits with some variety. That said…don’t bet against me using this color scheme as a cheap-and-easy way to add a further illusion of variety to Shay’s looks.
THE FOOL THAT MOGGED HER PANTS
Sure, dresses and robes are the signature mage look, but Shay also needs some options that use a vest or other top matched with pants. As some of our wisest sages have noted, after all, nothing better shows your taste than what you wear below your waist.
Our first top-and-pants style outfit comes from Beltrine, who notes that if Shayari worries about Garrosh doubting their relation, she might go with this look to drive the connection home (complete with tusks on her shoulders, and a staff that could pass for an axe):
From ZugZug, her “Ready for Anything” look, which…call me crazy, but if you look at this outfit quickly then turn away, doesn’t it seem like something Michael Jackson might have worn…?
Another entry from Sintra E’Drien, who clearly loves his wizard hats (and who can blame him?):
ZugZug brings us “Battle Mage Shayari“, who’s looking pretty damn badass here, especially with that is-it-a-staff-or-is-it-a-tridenty-kinda-axe that she’s wielding:
Another entry from Toka, who mixes her colors in a way here that makes this outfit look vaguely shaman- or druid-like to me:
From Rakael (the alter ego of old friend Ruekie), we have a suit with a bit of Spanish flair; Rakael notes that Don Carlos’ Famous Hat would finish the ensemble…if it wouldn’t look rather ridiculous in Shay’s case:
Aliok describes this outfit as “semi-formal”, with optional helm, gloves, bracers, shoulders, and cloak in the link, though they’re really not needed for the outfit to stand on its own:
From Ayalea, here’s a possible “work outfit” for Shayari:
This one is the first of a pair from Malauch, in this case providing an obvious case of an item Shay really should have in her wardrobe somewhere: jeans!
Meanwhile, his second entry is a really terrific vest combo, one of the tougher cuts of any of the submissions:
These outfits might never see the light of day (or maybe they might!), but they’re all unified by being very specific looks for very specific situations. Continue on; you’ll get the idea quickly enough.
For instance, in case I ever come up with a story in which our characters go sailing, Toka gives us Pirate Shay:
Aliok, meanwhile, offers this outfit — which Shay could wear in the event she goes to a rave — with the disclaimer that she doesn’t really expect me to draw it, but just wanted to assault my eyeballs. If my eyeballs are going to get assaulted, I’m taking the rest of you people with me, so here we go:
In more practical terms, Aliok also picked out some pajamas for Shayari:
AAAAAAAND THE WINNERS ARE…
And now for the big moment. The winners! As I said earlier, this was a very tough call to make, so in order to make things a little more manageable, I decided to break the three winning entries into three different types of outfit, with the idea being that the whole point of the exercise was to build some variety into Shay’s different looks. So, our winners consist of one dress/robe-type outfit, one pants/vest outfit, and one top/skirt combo. Which leaves us with…
Winner #1: ZugZug, for her “Shay Out and About” combo:
Now, granted, the top here is more than a little N.S.F.G, but in ways that are easy enough to work around for comic-rendering purposes. More importantly, though, I love the fact that this combination works with a clearly distinct set of top and skirt, as opposed to the full-body robe and vest-and-pants alternatives that comprise almost all the clothie outfits you usually see. Also, with spring approaching, this struck me as a great seasonal outfit (especially for Noblegarden…without turning Shay into a Playorc Bunny). The semi-sorta-handbag offhand is just icing on the cake.
Winner #2: From Sintra E’Drien, the winner of the robe/gown category:
As I’ve said, people sent in a ton of great dresses, and I doubt that this will be the only one that will find its way into the blog. But of all the options, this is the one that stood out the most to me. Visually interesting without being overly complicated, elegant, just a terrific caster look. Bonus point for affording me a chance to work some purple into Shay’s wardrobe (think in terms of the potential symbolism of blending red and blue).
Winner #3: From Aliok, in the vest-and-pants category, Shayari’s “barfight” attire:
A change of pace for Shayari that I just couldn’t resist. The jeans and vest strike just the right balance between cool and casual, and as Aliok pointed out in her submission, the brassy hands (and the overall look) give Shay the look of someone ready to trade blows in some rowdy tavern somewhere. And I don’t think it’ll come as a shock to anyone that Shay has her father’s right hook.
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!
Remember when I said how hard it was to make these picks? Well, I’m weaseling out of some of the final decision-making, and handing that responsibility off to YOU, the Warchief’s LOYAL READERS AND MINIONS. I’ve decided to add a fourth winner to the contest — to be determined by all of you! Check out the five candidates below, and vote in the poll at the end of this post!
A little more formal than some other looks, but still simple and classy. Bonus points for the off-hand fan, which will fit in especially nicely if Shayari finds her way to a clothier in Pandaria at some point.
Finalist #2 – My Robe and Wizard Hat: From Sintra, this one is a variation of a similar outfit he’d also submitted, but with a color scheme that I thought suited Shayari a bit better (in general, I think reds and blues suit her a little better than greens):
Besides, you know I had to toss at least one classic wizard hat into the mix.
Just a beautiful all-around look, as illustrated by some of the close-up detail shows Khizzara provided.
Finalist #4 – Antiquity: Khizzara wasn’t done yet, though, because she still had this gem” in her pocket:
In her submission, Kash (a.k.a. Khiz) noted that most of the pieces in the outfit are pretty optional, as the gown itself can stand on its own. I’m inclined to agree; not only does it work perfectly well as an outfit by itself, but it does so with a style and elegance that you don’t see in many other cloth pieces.
Finalist #5 – Indiana Shay: I knew there was going to be at least one more vest/pants combo in here, and after wavering between a few excellent options, the nod finally went to this outfit from Malauch:
Cool, stylish, and strikes a nice balance between being adventurous enough for Shayari to wear while crawling through some dungeon and being dressy enough for her to keep on for more professional matters back home. Bonus points for the hat (even though I’m not 100% sure it would make it into cartoon form…but I would try!), which makes me feel like Shay must be a secret Harrison Jones fan.
So, those are our candidates! Now it’s time for you to make your voices heard:
Congratulations to all our winners, and thanks once again to everyone who submitted entries to the contest — the response was far greater than I was expecting, and the quality of submissions across the board made it much, much harder to pick my favorites than I was prepared for. But, it’s not over yet — get voting!
[A few final programming notes: A reminder, tomorrow night -- Saturday, March 8 -- we'll have having this month's SoO Meta Raid, starting at approximately 8:00 PM Eastern. As always, everyone is welcome to join in the fun; you can reach me on RealID as Averry#1116. Since Averry is finally, FINALLY on the last stage of his legendary quest, I might try to coerce a few people to hop on a few minutes early to help me fight some Celestials..
More on the way soon, but I'll toss in a disclaimer now: There are a couple posts coming up that will be very labor intensive to assemble -- bear with me while I work on them, and I promise I'll try to make the wait worthwhile.]