Archive for liadrin

30 Days of Character Development #7: Mokvar

Posted in 30 Days of Character Development with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 25, 2014 by Garrosh Hellscream

[Periodically, a post will profile one of the blog’s many supporting players.  (See the first profile for more details.)  Feel free to chime in with recommendations for other characters you’d like to see more about.]

 

mokvar_profile1Name:  Mokvar

Occupation:  Scribe; former advisor to the Warchief; former mercenary; currently between gigs, as it were.

Race:  Orc

Class:  Warlock (currently and formerly), shaman (formerly)

Age:  44

Group affiliations:  Horde (former citizen, currently banished), Earthen Ring (former member), Veiled Blade (former member)

Known relatives:  Drulla (mother, deceased), Vokmar (father, deceased), ex-wife (heretofore unnamed)

Earth Online notes:  Founding member and officer of Garrosh’s guild <Warchief>; presumably demoted from officer status since falling out of good graces with Garrosh, though it’s currently unclear if he’s actually been demoted or gkicked.  Main toon is Bartleby (class unknown); has at least one alt, LamontCranston (not a member of <Warchief> and unknown by most of the guild, possibly all but Spazzle).

First appearance:  “Visiting Ashenvale” (first mention), “Underneath the bunker” (first transcript)

mokvarprofile2Key posts and plot points:

  • Garrosh first mentioned Mokvar in the very early days of the blog, during an inspection trip to Ashenvale.  After completing an aerial bombing run over Astralaan, the Warchief was most irate that Mokvar wasn’t able to adequately sketch him walking away from the resulting explosions; Garrosh ordered Mokvar back to Orgrimmar to train up inscription under pain of, well, pain.  (Interestingly, the job of keeping visual records of some of Garrosh’s expolits would eventually fall to Gurtash in the form of his comics.)
  • Mokvar would return a few weeks later in “Underneath the bunker” to record the first of many transcripts of the Warchief’s dealings.  (Also of note is that this transcript marked the first appearance of Dontrag and Utvoch.)  From that point on, Mokvar would frequently accompany the Warchief in his adventures, recording Garrosh’s discussions with such luminaries as Tirion Fordring (“Where did all the words go?”), Mylune (not once but twice), Garona and Johnny Awesome (“Awesome job, Mokvar”).
  • Mokvar traveled back in time to old Hillsbrad with Garrosh, Liadrin, Faranell, and Utvoch in an attempt to trace the origin of a magic “anti-plague” that was devastating the Forsaken (The Anti-Plague of Southshore).  While there, Faranell switched places with a past version of himself and inadvertently set off a series of events that would eventually cause massive disruptions to the timeline (Timequake).  In the ensuing chaos, Mokvar was one of the only people to be aware of the changes that had occurred, and helped the Warchief reset history to its proper course.  To this day, Mokvar remains one of the only people – along with Garrosh, Liadrin, and Faranell – who remembers the events that transpired in the other timeline.  (Okay, yes, Utvoch remembers, too…but would you really bet your next paycheck on him understanding any of it?)
  • Just before Garrosh left for Pandaria, Mokvar was attacked and killed under mysterious circumstances (“Death of the author”), though his death was made temporary by his ability to ankh as a shaman.  This brush with death marked the beginning of the Mokvar saga that continues to this day; a detailed, post-by-post account can be found here, but here’s the semi-sorta-short version: In his mercenary days before coming to Orgrimmar, when he was a member of the Veiled Blade, Mokvar had acquired, then disposed of, a powerful warlock relic called the Nether Prism; now, years later, the Prism’s prior owner (the drakonid lord Valthalak) has sent spectral assassins after Mokvar in an effort to recover his prize.  Mokvar reunited with old mercenary friend Deliana to try to recover the Prism, then launched into a run of suspicious, erratic behavior – traveling to Ironforge under diplomatic cover, then being charged with the murder of one of its citizens; turning for aid to Neeru Fireblade, then, even more damningly, Magatha Grimtotem; breaking out of Orgrimmar while under arrest, leading to his eventual banishment from the Horde.
  • mokvarprofile4After Mokvar disappeared from Orgrimmar, he remained off the grid for several months, save for elemental indications to fellow shaman Spazzle that he may have met his final demise.  Ji Firepaw, however, wasn’t willing to give up hope for Mokvar’s survival (and rightly so – did anyone really think that I was not only going to kill off Mokvar, but do so off-screen? Really?), and continued investigating Mokvar’s whereabouts.  Ji’s search eventually led him to Blackrock Spire, where Mokvar made his dramatic, fel-infused return in “The scouring of the Spire.”
  • True story: I originally introduced Mokvar not even as a real character, but as a plot device to justify inclusion of the transcripts.  I realized early on that I wanted to include dialogue in the blog, but I didn’t feel like it would fit stylistically to have Garrosh writing it out as it would appear in a novel – one thing I try to maintain (with ranging degrees of success) is the appearance that Garrosh really is writing everything in the blog, as a blog, rather than a short-story-but-we’ll-call-it-a-blog-even-though-we-know-it’s-really-not-wink-wink.  Mokvar as a scribe provided an excuse to include that extra material.  Another true story: When I was first choosing Garrosh’s scribe, I pretty much went into Grommash Hold and semi-randomly picked someone who looked like he didn’t have much else to do. Who knew?
  • For the fashion/transmog-minded among you: Mokvar’s warlock attire is roughly based on the Tier 9 warlock set.
  • Mokvar’s Earth Online character, Bartleby, is a reference to the title character in Herman Melville’s short story “Bartleby the Scrivener.”  (Scrivener = scribe!)  Mokvar likewise references the story on a few occasions when repeats Bartleby’s signature line, “I would prefer not to.”
  • For anyone who hasn’t pieced it together by this point: Mokvar’s close connection to Deliana is based on their parallel in-game roles.  Pre-Cataclysm, Mokvar (in Orgrimmar) and Deliana (in Ironforge) were the questgivers who sent adventurers on the (very long and painful) quest chains to upgrade the old “Tier 0.5” dungeon sets.  The two characters offered essentially the same quests, which provided the basis for much of the in-blog backstory about Lord Valthalak.  (Valthalak’s spirit was the end boss for that quest chain, by the way, and for anyone who missed it during vanilla, fighting him at level was a NIGHTMARE.)

In his own words:

In there one event or happening you would like to erase from your past? Why?

My last job with the Veiled Blade, when we went into Blackrock Spire to collect Valthalak’s goodies.  It turned out to be nothing but trouble, and cost most of us our lives – all of us, in fact, other than me and Deliana.  (And strictly speaking, it cost me my life, too; it just didn’t stick. So, congratulations to Deliana for being the last one left standing. Was anyone running a pool?)

What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? Color? Song? Flower?

Tigule and Foror’s Lok’tar S’more-gar.  Cerulean blue.  The Lokvad’nod Broxigari.  Any daisies I’m not pushing up.

Who do you trust?

After everything we’ve been through, I trust Deliana with my life.  The same goes for Ji and Spazzle.  I trust Thrall and Eitrigg implicitly, and I’ll probably always be grateful to Thrall for giving me a safe haven all those years ago.  I trust Liadrin for her judgment, Saurfang for general badassery, and Garrosh…well, I trust Garrosh to be Garrosh.

mokvarprofile3How are you with technology? Super savvy, or way behind the times? Letters or email?

I’m no Spazzle, but I’m good enough with technology to get by.  I’m not really what you would call tech literate in the broad sense, but I do okay with specific tasks on specific devices; once I learn how to do something, I’m usually fine, but then I don’t like to stray too far from what I know, even if something new and better comes along.  I still prefer to write by hand, but I usually end up having to type things out – people are always complaining about my handwriting.

How do you react to temperature changes such as extreme heat and cold?

Heat doesn’t bother me at all.  I hardly even notice it.  Cold, on the other hand… spirits, I hate the cold.  You could not have paid me enough money to go to Northrend.

Are you an early morning bird or a night owl?

Neither, really.  I have pretty strange sleep habits: I usually tend to sleep for 2-3 hours at a time, scattered around random times in the day.  It’s a holdover from my mercenary days, when we would often have to be on the move on short notice; I developed the ability to sneak in what sleep I could when I could, and it’s stayed with me.  So now you’re equally likely to catch me awake at some odd hour in the middle of the night, or asleep in the middle of the day.  It’s the main reason why I don’t like surprise visitors.  That and the recent habit that surprise visitors have been getting into of trying to kill me.

What’s your preferred means of travel?

On wolfback.  I like feeling my feet on the ground…or at least my wolf’s feet, indirectly.  If I have to fly, I’d rather take a zeppelin or gunship.  I’ve never gotten completely comfortable on a wyvern (although I still prefer them to bats or dragonhawks or…well, I don’t know how people manage to keep their balance on those carpets).  I’ll fly on one if I need to, and I have lots of times – it just makes me uneasy while I’m up there.

If you could time travel, where would you go?

Don’t even joke about that.

Are you superstitious?

I definitely believe that there’s something out there that’s either looking out for me, or has it in for me.  I’m still not sure which.  Check back with me again another time.  Unless I’m dead, in which case we probably have our answer.

What might your ideal romantic partner be?

Someone calm, grounded.  Stable.  Not prone to emotional swings or extreme highs and lows.  Someone who’s figured themselves out, gotten comfortable with themselves, grown out of the drama and the need for everything to be a thrill ride.

If your life were a genre, what would it be?

Pretty definitely something in the action/adventure area, or at least a suspense thriller.  Be careful what you wish for, I suppose.  Sometimes I think I should have listened to my mother and been a banker instead.  When I was younger, I couldn’t wait to go out into the world and have adventures.  Thirty years of adventures later, I think I’ve had more than enough excitement.  I’d love to be bored.  I’d love to settle down comfortably in a quiet corner of Orgrimmar once we get to the other side of all this, and age into some old man who everyone considers pretty dull and uninteresting, except for every so often when he rattles off another one of his crazy stories — which most of the kids probably won’t believe really happened anyway.  I think I’ll enjoy that.

 

Previous Profiles:

  1. Spazzle Fizzletrinket
  2. Ben-Lin Cloudstrider
  3. Dontrag and Utvoch
  4. Taktani
  5. Korrina
  6. Mylune

Moving day (part 6)

Posted in Comics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 26, 2014 by Garrosh Hellscream

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Moving day (part 5)

Posted in Comics with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 24, 2014 by Garrosh Hellscream

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* Thanks for the idea, Khizzara!

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[Okay, we knew the "every day" thing wasn't going to hold up forever!  But, we have one more installment of this episode coming...SOON (tm).]

Birth announcement

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 26, 2014 by Garrosh Hellscream

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Faranell’s gotten things lined up for Shayari’s move to the Undercity.  She won’t be leaving for a couple days still, but everything should be in order.  That also leaves me some time to get down there to see how she’s doing before she heads out of town.  I haven’t gotten much of a chance to go see her yet – yeah, yeah, I know, even after Liadrin made such a stink over it – what with everything else I need to take care of around here.  I’m not going to be in Orgrimmar much longer than Shayari, only in my case, when I leave I need to know everything is set to run smoothly while I’m in Pandaria, and in order to make sure that happens…well, come on.  You’ve seen the pinhead minions I’m surrounded with, mostly.  Hell, even Malkorok has been in lousy spirits (yes, even by Malkorok standards) ever since he got back from helping the doc with Shay’s arrangements the other day.

Anyhow, point being, there’s been a shitload of stuff going on.  We’ve got some major construction projects in the works, which means we’re going to need tons of resources.  Lumber, fuel, the whole nine yards.  We even need to up the food supplies just to feed all the extra workers we’re bringing in.  In order to keep up with the demands, I’m reassigning some Kor’kron to the Barrens to work on gathering resources.  On the plus side, all the manpower we need pretty much means there’s no such thing as unemployment in Orgrimmar anymore.  (That should look pretty damn nice on my record when I run for reelection.  OH WAIT, THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS, I’M APPOINTED FOR LIFE.  Suck THAT, would-be rivals from within my own party.)

Needless to say, all this has kept me pretty busy with meetings and planning sessions and OH DID I MENTION THE FUCKING PAPERWORK?  And this time around I can’t even shuffle it off on Eitrigg, since he’s being all pissy about being quasi-sorta-kinda-demoted.  Things have been so packed, schedule-wise, that I’ve barely had a chance to catch any down time…but, seeing as this is the first time in months that I’ve actually had a stable internet connection…

 

You have logged on.

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  but if you get a buff from eating, why don’t you a bigger buff if you eat more?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Well well, look who we have here!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  because they want you to go do things in the game, not sit around eating all day

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  A good day to you, daddy dearest.

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  well that’s just crazy talk

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Hello Omgipwnedurface

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  …

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  HI PWN

[Guild][EdwardBear | Ji]  hi omgipwnedurface

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hey boss

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So I’m guessing you’ve talked to Faranell

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  wait, what?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  GOOD TO SEE YOU ON

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  hello, garrosh, i was wondering if i could have a word with you

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  I swear I didn’t say anything to her, boss

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  Oh this should be good

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah hi

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  He emailed me earlier, yes sir.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Oh yeah, I know YOU’RE all about keeping secrets, Half-Pint

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Faranell, that is.  Not Spazzle.

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  NOT ME

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  yeah

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  By way of making arrangements for the arrival of…what was her name again?

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  hey, did you get my email?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  I HOPE YOUR CONNECTION IS BETTER

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Shayari

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  Yeah, I did

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  well i’ve been thinking about the mokvar situation – it seems like his problems all go back to blackrock mountain, so i was thinking maybe if did some looking around there we might be able to come up with some new leads

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  I think I get why you did what you did, not that it still doesn’t irritate the fuck out of me

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  no really, whats with the daddy dearest thing?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Ah yes, Shayari.  Lovely name.  Does it mean anything?

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  well, I think that was everything mokvar told me about his past as a mercenary and the attacks on him

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, I’m back home on my normal connection

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Oh, you haven’t heard, Gayle?

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  It better be.  I’ve had more than enough of everybody running around with secrets

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  i was talking to eitrigg a few days ago and he mentioned his son lives near there, and knows blackrock mountain well, so he might be able to help investigate

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  OH COOL

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Oh fucking hell

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  me too

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Well apparently it means “I think I’ll go blab” in banshee-talk

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Our esteemed guild leader is a father.

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  Okay, so tl;dr, you’re still picking at the damn Mokvar thing, and what a shock, now Eitrigg is encouraging you in continuing to be a pain in the ass

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  …

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Here we go

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  Now listen to me because I’m only going to say this once

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  oh boy…

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  …

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Congratulations Omgipwnedurface

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  ok

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  YAH GRATS

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  ok

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Thats wonderful news

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  I don’t give a shit what Mokvar had gotten himself into.  By the time he got shown the door, he’d burned about fifteen bridges, and I’m past the point of caring why.  He’s dead.  And if he’s not dead, he might as well be, because he’s dead to ME

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  ok

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  WHAT???

You whispered to [EdwardBear | Ji]:  So whatever hairbrained scheme you’ve got in mind, drop it.  Let it GO.  THE END

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  You really had to, huh?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  ^_^

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  he’s

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  WHAT

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  A bouncing baby girl, if I’m told correctly.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona] … … … …

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I mean…seriously?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Well, to be fair, Warchief…

[EdwardBear | Ji] whispered:  if you say so, sir

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  THATS AWESOME PWN

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  ok so obviously I must have been staring at an old god or something

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Dontrag and Utvoch haven’t logged on in weeks.  Jaina hasn’t been on as much lately.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  because I MUST have gone insane and thought I just read that

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I need to amuse myself -somehow-.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Mrs Pwnurface must be so excited

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Oh, I know, Gayle; at first I thought the news was too good to be true as well!

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  oh yes

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  yes PWN, let’s HEAR about mrs pwnurface

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  For fuck’s sake

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  HOW ABOUT HER PWN

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  You know what

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Again, out of fairness, Warchief, I’m not even lying.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  She’s DEAD, actually, if you must know

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  When Faranell told me, my first thought honestly was, “Oh, this is too good.”

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  OH YIKES

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Okay, so listen, after this, could you PLEASE zip it about the kid?

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  you’re spiritsdamned right she’s dead

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I was planning to try to keep this hush-hush for now

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Oh course, dear Warchief.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  I’m so sorry Omgipnedurface

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Was it in childbirth

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Henceforth I will keep your secret locked away in the securest of figurative underground vaults as if it were a recalcitrant death knight.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  No, it was later

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  She got sick from a plague, basically

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  A plague?  Oh dear, it wasn’t one of ours, was it?

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  OH

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Oh dear

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  That is, rather…it -wasn’t- one of ours, certainly.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Since obviously we have long since stopped making plague.

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  WAIT HOW LONG AGO COULD THIS BE IF YOU’RE A NEW DAD

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  What plague, actually?  Did someone mention plague?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  That sounds ghastly to me.

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  YES

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Okay look

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  EXACTLY HOW LONG AGO

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Ick, plague, I say.  Blech!

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  How are -you- today, Spazzle?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I’m going to go over this once and then have done with it, okay?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  And YOU STFU ALREADY GAYLE

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  hey, don’t try to drag me into this

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  I’m in enough trouble already

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  oh oh I’m all ears

[Officer][MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]  you’re on your own!

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Oh, drat.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  NOT UNLESS “EAR” IS THE NEW WORD FOR “MOUTH” AND I MISSED THE FUCKING MEMO OR SOMETHING

[Guild][Nightengayle | Garona]  FINE

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Okay

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered:  I mean SERIOUSLY, WTF??

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So yeah, I’ve got a daughter

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  She’s not a newborn, she’s in her teens now, I just… let’s just say I just gained custody and leave it at that

You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]:  Oh will you knock it the fuck OFF

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Custody, and awareness.

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered:  and the surprise daughter is a TEENAGER already too?!

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Have you not said enough already today?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Oh, never.  ^_^  But do continue.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Oh congratulations

[Officer][LivinDeadGirl | Sylvanas]  Re-sealing the vault!  ^_^

You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]:  Yeah, she is, and hey, check it out, she even got to be a teenager in real time, unlike some other people I could mention

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  So yeah, she’s just in town for a little while now

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  That’s the long and the short of it, and if you don’t mind I’d rather not have to answer like a zillion questions about her

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered:  …

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered:  how is this the first I’m hearing about this??

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  YAH I CAN SEE HOW YOU’D WANT TO KEEP YOUR PRIVACY

You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]:  Hey, listen, I didn’t even know about her until last week

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  If you don’t mind me asking one question though Omgiownedurface

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered:  oh aren’t you a prince

You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]:  when Liadrin came breezing into town with a little bundle of WTF in tow

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Why is she only in town a little while

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, fine

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered:  wait a minute

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered:  liadrin???

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  And I promise I won’t pry any further

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  That much is simple, she’s going away to school, pretty much

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered:  THAT stick figure?  are you KIDDING me??

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Oh

You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]:  NOT LIKE THAT FOR FUCK’S SAKE

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Well I’m sure youll miss her

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, I’m sure

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  But its important sometimes to give your children that push off the ledge and hope they fly

You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]:  Liadrin found her in Silvermoon after she got kicked out of Dalaran for being half orcish

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  You cant protect them from everything however much you might want to

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  UM RED

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered:  wait, HALF orcish? what’s the other half then? because I swear if you slept with a human I think I’ll scream

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Sometimes theyre going to get hurt

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Or captured

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Or mutated into monstrosities

You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]:  YOU FUCKING FUCKED MEDIVH, who the fuck are you to criticize?!

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  RED

[EdwardBear | Ji] has logged off.

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  And then you have to authorize their extermination for the greater good

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered:  I was young and into older men!

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  But thats parenting for you

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  RED CHECK YOUR WHISPERS

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  um, boss?

You whispered to [Nightengayle | Garona]:  Well I was young and into draenei girls!

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  What were we talking about again

[Guild][LivingRedGirl | Alexstrasza]  Oh okay

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered:  …

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered:  !!!

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  What?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Incidentally, Honalee, is everything all right with Leslie?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I don’t mean to pry, but I’m not accustomed to seeing you online without her.

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered:  ok I need to log off for a few

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered:  I need to go stab something

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  YA SHE’S JUST BUSY WITH WORK THIS WEEK

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Oh?  Anything in particular?

[Nightengayle | Garona] whispered:  WE WILL CONTINUE THIS LATER

[Guild][HonaleePuff | Kalecgos]  NOT REALLY, JUST THE SAME STUFF SHE’S BEEN DOING THE LAST FEW WEEKS NOW

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  so… I’m afraid our furry companion has gone and done something rash

[Nightengayle | Garona] has logged off.

That player is not online.

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  Oh no, what did Fat Boy Slim do now?

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I like to think I’ve been able to provide her with something of a supportive ear from time to time.  I’m more than happy to do the same for you, if you’d ever care to have a sounding board.

[MrBadcrumble | Spazzle] whispered:  well… I think he may be about to skip town to head to blackrock mountain

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  Fucking hell

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Sometimes it can be helpful to air your thoughts with someone impartial.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I need to log.  Some things just came up here that I have to check on

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  You know, concerns for your significant other, anxieties, random specific details about her exact undertakings these days, including but not limited to key initiatives, dates, and locations.

You whispered to [MrBadcrumble | Spazzle]:  I’m coming over, you can fill in the rest then

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I know, I know, it’s cliche.  But still.

You have logged off.

 

A problem like Shayari

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 17, 2014 by Garrosh Hellscream

orgrimmar17

So, Faranell was still working on his tests when I went to see him.  I figured I’d leave him alone so he could concentrate on his work rather than, you know, concentrate on making smartass comments.  Anyway.

In the meantime, I’ve been trying to finish up these meetings.  I had a conference earlier today with Overseer Elaglo about his new duties “helping” Eitrigg with things.  Eitrigg didn’t sound to thrilled about the new arrangements, but it’s not like he’s got much to say in the matter.  Didn’t stop him from saying a few things on his way out, though.  Anyhow, we also had Xorenth in to go over the details of another project I’ve got him and Elaglo collaborating on.  Taktani sat in on the meeting – she managed to keep herself mostly reined in, by some miracle – but for the time being I’m going to hold off on posting those transcripts.  Most of them, anyway.  Some of the operations we were going over are fairly sensitive, so I don’t think I want to go announcing them on the blog.

As opposed to all the other highly sensitive, top secret stuff I casually write about here on practically a daily basis, right?  Like, oh, I don’t know, evidently being the surprise dad of a half-draenei teenager, for instance.  Pending confirmation, anyway.  Oh well.  It’s all among friends here, I guess.  Anyway.

Speaking of the pending confirmation, though…over to the de-classified part of Tak’s handiwork…

 

(How about here, Mr. Warchief?  Oh good!  Now it’s okay to start copying the meeting.  I like this part better anyway, there’s not as much talking about the angry fire cave.  I don’t think I would like it there.  It sounds scary!  Oh okay, I guess I’m taking too long to get to the meeting.

I guess I’ll start with the part where Mr. Malkorok came in.  Don’t worry, though, he doesn’t stay long!)

MALKOROK – Warchief, you have visitors waiting outside.  The elf and the undead want to see you.

GARROSH – Ah.  They’re a little early, but whatever.  Let them in.

MALKOROK – Yes sir.

(Mr. Malkorok stepped outside, then came back in with Ms. Liadrin and Dr. Zombie.)

LIADRIN – Good morning, Warchief.  I hope we’re not interrupting.

GARROSH – It’s fine.  We’re close to done here.  In fact, I think you guys are set with your orders.

ELAGLO – Yes, sir.  I still need to check with the excavation crew.

XORENTH – And I’m fairly sure Kardris and Koranathal wanted to see me about something.

GARROSH – I’ll let you get to it, then.  I’ll check in with you later.

(Mr. Elaglo and Mr. Xorenth got up and started to head toward the door.)

LIADRIN – I hope we’re not rushing you gentlemen off.  I don’t believe we’ve met, actually.  (extending her hand)  I’m Lady Liadrin, of the Blood Knights of Silvermoon.

ELAGLO – So you are.

(Mr. Elaglo and Mr. Xorenth kept walking to the door and left.  That didn’t seem very nice!)

LIADRIN – Well then.

(Mr. Warchief watched Mr. Elaglo and Mr. Xorenth, then kept watching the door for a minute before turning back to Ms. Liadrin.)

GARROSH – Okay.  So, do we have news?

LIADRIN – Dr. Faranell has finished his tests, yes sir.

GARROSH – And?

FARANELL – Congratulations.  It’s a girl.  (holding out a cigar)  Here, have a cigar.

(Mr. Warchief looked at Dr. Zombie kind of funny, then went back to talking.  I guess Mr. Warchief doesn’t smoke.  That’s good!)

GARROSH – You’re sure?

FARANELL – The results were pretty clear-cut.  (shrugs)  You’re sure you don’t want the cigar?  Seems a shame to waste it, on top of all that perfectly good ichor from the test.

LIADRIN – I must admit, sir, I can’t say I’m terribly surprised.

GARROSH – You kind of had that vibe from Shayari from the start, huh?

LIADRIN – After a fashion, sir.

FARANELL – Good call.  Cigar?

LIADRIN(sighing)  No, Doctor.

GARROSH – So that’s that…  She’s settled in okay?

LIADRIN – More or less, sir.  Though now I suppose we’re left with a few more questions to address about her situation.

GARROSH – Yeah.

LIADRIN – No doubt you’ll have security matters for you and…the overlord to consider.

GARROSH – For the time being, I want to stay pretty selective about who knows…well, who she really is.

LIADRIN – Fairly prudent, I suppose, sir.  For now, at least.  I would imagine there will be more than a few questions raised as she’s seen around Orgrimmar, of course.

GARROSH – I can deal with those.  The questions… (nodding to Malkorok) …and anyone who starts getting too nosy.

MALKOROK – I have ears in many corners of the city, Warchief.  I’ll be sure to find out if anyone is…unduly curious.

GARROSH – Good.

FARANELL – Good indeed.  Here, have a cigar.

(Mr. Malkorok glared at Dr. Zombie and grumbled a little.)

FARANELL – Cigar?  No?  No one?

GARROSH – Will you knock if off with the damn cigar!

MALKOROK – If you’ll…excuse me, Warchief, I’ll be outside…

(Mr. Malkorok grumbled a little more and left.  Yay!)

FARANELL – Oh well, fine.  More for me, then.

TAKTANI – You really shouldn’t smoke, Dr. Zombie!  It’s bad for you!

FARANELL – Hello?  Already-dead guy.

GARROSH – Tak, just stick to copying down the conversation, not joining it.

(I was just trying to help!  =(  )

LIADRIN – If I might make a further suggestion, sir, I’ve been considering the matter of Shayari’s ongoing education.  As you may recall, she was studying to be a mage in Dalaran when the purge took place.

GARROSH – Huh.  Well, we have trainers here, and I could probably have Ureda get her in with the newest shadowmages, but to tell you the truth, I don’t know if I want her handing around too much down in the Cleft of Shadow.

LIADRIN – It is, I’ve heard, something of an unsavory area, sir.

GARROSH – Among other things.  So anyway, you had an idea?

LIADRIN – Yes, sir.  I thought it might be preferable to entrust her training to someone more familiar to us.  I’ve spoken to Dr. Faranell about the matter, and he’s expressed his willingness to take Shayari on as an apprentice.

FARANELL – You left out the part about my extortionate fee.

GARROSH – Huh.  Are you sure you’d be up for a job like that, Doc?  I mean, no offense, but you never really struck me as a particularly powerful mage.

FARANELL – I’m not, really.  I’m not bad, mind you, but I’m nothing special.  Still, for training purposes, especially for the early stage Shayari’s at, high-end power isn’t nearly as important as a good knowledge base.

LIADRIN – Which is an area in which we’re actually…particularly fortunate to have a resource as rare as the good doctor.

FARANELL – Fortunate for the rest of you, anyway.

GARROSH – Uh, why’s that?  I mean I know you’re a smart guy and all, Doc, but what’s so rare about him?

LIADRIN – Well, Warchief, as you might recall, Dr. Faranell was blessed with an eidetic memory.

FARANELL – Oh yes.  Blessed.

LIADRIN – As such, he has a near-perfect retention of virtually every magic sourcebook he’s read.  And that particular capacity was… well… augmented by one of the peculiarities of Dr. Faranell’s personal history.

FARANELL – Is that what we’re calling it now?  A peculiarity?

LIADRIN – There aren’t many terms that lend themselves readily.

GARROSH – Are you two going to finish explaining this, or do I have to start guessing what the hell you’re talking about?

FARANELL – The time loop.

GARROSH – I… Oh.

LIADRIN – Yes sir.  I’m sure I needn’t remind you of the closed temporal loop Dr. Faranell sealed himself in a year or so ago.

GARROSH – Yeah, oddly enough, I remember, even without the doc’s super-memory.  It was kind of a big deal.

LIADRIN – Indeed, sir.  As it happens…well, Doctor, I imagine you can explain better than I could.

FARANELL – Yeah, so.  You know that while I was in the time loop, I kept reliving the same 11-year period over and over.  Only the thing is, each time around, I experienced that repetition individually.  So if I went around five times, it wasn’t like I experienced it once and it kept repeating without my knowing – I was aware of each time through, and knew, okay, this is pass #5.

GARROSH – Yeah, I remember that part.  And you ended up going around…crap, how many times was it?

FARANELL – 2,734.  I was in the middle of number 2,735 when I got snapped out of it again.

GARROSH – Holy shit.

FARANELL – Holy shit indeed.  Anyway, though, the point of all this is that every cycle through, I had to repeat all the things I’d originally done in that timeline, obviously, so as not to disrupt history—

GARROSH – Well, other than how you DID disrupt history, and, y’know, almost destroyed the world in the process.

FARANELL – Yes, there’s that, but nobody’s perfect.  Even me.  One thing that I realized fairly early on, though, was that even though I had to preserve all the things I was supposed to do in those years, there was also an awful lot of down time when it really didn’t matter what I was doing.  Nights when I was alone by myself at home, for instance – it really didn’t matter if I spent the time, say, doing a crossword puzzle or playing solitaire, since it would literally affect no one other than me.

GARROSH – Dude, seriously?  Crossword puzzles and solitaire?  Please tell me that’s not what you really spent your nights doing.

FARANELL – No, but I didn’t think “designing more virulent strains of plague” rolled off the tongue as well.  Shall we continue, or are you not yet finished noting how lame I was for not making varsity?

GARROSH – Yeah, fine, whatever.

FARANELL – At any rate… Well, let me put it this way.  Have you ever thought, “Boy, there are all these books I’d like to read, if only I had the time to get around to them”?

(I think Mr. Warchief might have thought Dr. Zombie wasn’t finished yet, because he didn’t say anything.  He just stood there looking at him for a minute.  I hope Mr. Warchief’s ears are okay!)

FARANELL – Okay, silly question on my part.  But you can grasp the concept of that, right?

GARROSH – Yeah, sure.  World enough and time.  Got it.

FARANELL – Well… Thanks to my…circumstances… I had over 30,000 years to get around to them.

GARROSH – Holy… Hang on.  How many books did you end up “getting around to”?

FARANELL – Pretty much all of them.

LIADRIN – And again, sir, it bears noting: he made his way, in essence, through the entire repository of written knowledge…with a photographic memory.

GARROSH(letting out a long, low whistle)  Whew.  So, yeah, you’re definitely the man for the job here, Doc.  And hey, I guess this means you get to be a professor like your brother, huh?

FARANELL – Yes, well, hopefully not too much like him.  He sort of jumped the rails there at the end.

GARROSH – Huh.  Yeah.  Actually, though, this works out pretty perfectly.  Shayari can move on over to the Undercity, she can be a little more low-profile there, you can teach her the ins and outs of all that magic crap, everybody wins.

LIADRIN – Well, sir, I hadn’t really meant that Shay should—

GARROSH – We might as well get the ball rolling right away on this, in fact.  MALKOROK!

(Mr. Malkorok leaned back in through the door.)

MALKOROK – Yes, sir?

GARROSH – Malk, Shayari is going to be going back to the Undercity with the doc here.  I want you to go with him now and help make any arrangements he needs.  Transport, storage, whatever he needs.  You clear?

MALKOROK(giving Faranell a disdainful glance)  If you wish, Warchief.

LIADRIN – Warchief, might I suggest before we go ahead with this—

GARROSH – No sense wasting time when we’ve got a winner of a plan, Liadrin.  Hop to it, Doc.  Malkorok will make sure you get whatever you need.

(Mr. Malkorok stood in the doorway and looked to Dr. Zombie while gesturing out the door.  He almost looked polite!  I wonder why he looked like something hurt…)

MALKOROK – If you’ll…come this way…undead.

FARANELL(walking to the door)  Oh good.  I was afraid my day couldn’t become any more delightful.

(Mr. Malkorok and Dr. Zombie left.)

GARROSH – Gotta hand it to you, Liadrin, that was a pretty clutch idea about the doc.

LIADRIN – Well…thank you, sir.  Although I can’t say I’d expected you to want Shayari altogether relocated to the Undercity…

GARROSH – Hey, kids her age go away to school all the time.

LIADRIN – That’s true, sir, but most of them are coming from a home that’s fairly stable to begin with.  Shayari, on the other hand, has already been uprooted once from a place she’d considered home.

GARROSH – She should be fine with Edwin looking after her.  Plus she can always zip up to Brill if she needs some fresh air.  Or fresher air.  Or, well, somewhat-less-noxious air.

LIADRIN – Yes, sir.  Although… If I might ask you something, sir?  I don’t mean to intrude into your personal matters…

GARROSH – I think that train left the station when you showed up with a surprise daughter for me.

LIADRIN – Well, sir… Have you gone to see her at all, since the other day?

GARROSH – No.  I haven’t.  I’ve been busy enough trying to take care of business and tie up all the loose ends that have been coming loose since…I… haven’t been around to un-loose them…

LIADRIN – I understand that you’re a busy man, of course, Warchief.  At the same time…she is your daughter.

GARROSH – I’m aware, yeah.

LIADRIN – Don’t you think you should?

GARROSH – When I get a chance to, Liadrin.  Worst case scenario, I’ll be sure to see her off before she takes off with Edwin, and…

LIADRIN – I understand that this has been a lot to be added to an already full plate, sir.  I’d like to reassure you, though, if you feel it would be helpful to have a sympathetic ear as a new parent — a sounding board, as it were — I would be more than happy to—

GARROSH – Not for anything, Liadrin, but what would you even know about it?

LIADRIN – More than you might suppose, Warchief.  A few years ago, shortly after the Outland campaign, I adopted a young blood elf girl from the Shattrath orphanage.  She’s fourteen years old now.  So, you see, I’m not completely unfamiliar with having no children one day, then suddenly having a grown child the next.

GARROSH – Yeah, well, that’s nice and all, Liadrin, but I’m sure I can handle it.

LIADRIN – I’m sure you can, sir.  So does that mean you’ll be going to see her?  Well before any possible departures?

GARROSH – This really isn’t any of your business, Liadrin.

LIADRIN – All things being equal, sir, I would agree.  Though given that the past several days I’ve been taking it upon myself to help her with her transition, I suppose you might say I’ve developed a bit of a vested interest.

GARROSH – Liadrin, I get what you’re trying to do, and yeah, fine, you’ve kind of got a point about me going to talk to her, but you know what?  I don’t know this girl.  She shows up out of nowhere, and I don’t know the first thing about her.  I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to SAY to her.

LIADRIN(smiling kindly before beginning matter-of-factly)  She grew up in Nagrand, and as a child lost her mother to a pernicious disease.  She never knew her father, only through stories, and everything she’s heard of him has told her that he’s a monster.  (walks to the door, turning back briefly before exiting)  I’m sure you’ll come up with something.

 

The Tao of Ji Firepaw

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 14, 2014 by Garrosh Hellscream

orgrimmar4

So since that last little…discovery…Liadrin’s been buzzing around Orgrimmar, helping with the relocated refugees.  At least as far as the world at large can see.  Most of the new arrivals have settled in pretty well.  A few are pretty eager for some payback against the Alliance, in fact, so we’ve even gotten a few new recruits out of the deal.

Mostly, though, she’s been helping Shayari get adjusted.  Ordinarily, I wouldn’t be too keen on a blood elf taking up the job of teaching someone what it means to be Horde, but I’ve worked with Liadrin enough to know she’s got a pretty good head on her shoulders.  Plus Shayari already seems to be on decent enough terms with her, so she’s probably going to be more comfortable with Liadrin than she would with some other random person.

Meanwhile, I had a meeting this morning with Krog, who was reporting on a few investigations he was working on while I was in Pandaria.  What he found ended up prompting me to schedule another impromptu meeting this afternoon.

Kicking it over to Tak’s record…

 

(Yay!  I get to be Mr. Warchief’s scribe again!  Mr. Warchief looked super serious, so I guess this was a big important meeting.  Ms. Ben-Lin Panda Lady was there, and so was Mr. Krog, another orc I don’t know too well.  I’m sure he’s nice, though!  Mr. Warchief must have a hard job if he needs so many people to help him!  I hope I do okay!

Mr. Malkorok came in at the start of the meeting, but he only stayed for a minute.  He didn’t look very happy, though.  He should smile more!  I bet he wouldn’t be so grumpy then.  He brought Mr. Goblin and Mr. Ji Panda Man with him.  I think maybe their feet were sore, because Mr. Malkorok was carrying them by their collars.  That’s nice of him!  Maybe he’s starting to be nicer!)

MALKOROK – Here they are, Warchief.  Let me know if they cause you any…difficulty.  (flinging Spazzle and Ji into the room)  I’ll be only too happy to use less of a soft touch to show them out.

(I guess not.  He seems so mean sometimes.  I don’t understand why.  =(  )

GARROSH – That’ll be all for now, Malk.  I’ll check in with you later.

MALKOROK – Yes, sir.  If you’ll excuse me, then, I have a few matters to see to with the provisioners.

(Mr. Malkorok left.  Yay!)

SPAZZLE(rubbing his head)  So… um… what’s going on, boss?  You know if you wanted to see me, you could have just shot me an IM, or—

GARROSH – Yeah, well, I wanted to make sure you got over here without any extra stops along the way.

JI – Oh.  Um… is it a surprise party or something?

(Ooh is it?  I love parties!  Yay!)

GARROSH – Oh, there’ve been some surprises, all right.

JI – Is there cake?

SPAZZLE – Ji…

GARROSH – But this is no party.

(Oh.  =(  )

SPAZZLE – So… what’s up, boss?

(Mr. Warchief looked back at Mr. Krog and Ms. Ben-Lin-Lin.  Then he turned back and stared at Mr. Goblin and Mr. Ji for a minute.  He looked really angry – I wish he wouldn’t get so upset!)

GARROSH – Did you really think I wasn’t going to find out?

SPAZZLE(blinking)  Um…?

JI – I don’t think I underst—

GARROSH – YOU keep quiet, Paddington.  I’ll get to you.  (turning back to Spazzle)  Now then.  Back to you.

SPAZZLE – Uh… okay…

GARROSH – See, I’ve had Krog here looking into a few security matters while I’ve been away.  And, oh man, did he ever have an earful for me this morning.

SPAZZLE – Oh…  So, um… what was Krog… uh… looking into, chie—

GARROSH- Don’t sit there and act like you don’t already know, dammit.  Don’t insult my intelligence on top of everything else.

(Mr. Goblin started looking really nervous.)

GARROSH(pointing to Ji)  Now, THIS one I could understand, because seriously, who knows WHAT Stuffed-With-Fluff here is thinking any given day.  But YOU?  You’re the last one of ANY of these clowns I would have expected to go sneaking around behind my back.

SPAZZLE – I… sneaking around…  (eyes going wide)  Oh… oh frak

GARROSH – OH FRAK IS RIGHT, whatever the fuck it means.  Did you SERIOUSLY think I wasn’t going to find out you were getting mixed up in this Mokvar business?

SPAZZLE – I swear, boss, I only ever talked to Vol—V—ohlOh.  Oh!  Oh…yeah.  The Mokvar business!  Right.  That’s…that’s what I’ve been doing, all right.  Red-handed, yes sir.  That is indeed the entirety of my suspect behavior, absolutely.  Don’t, um, don’t know what I was thinking, chief!  (slapping his own hand repeatedly)  Bad!  Bad Spazzle!

GARROSH – Dude, seriously, you are so fucking weird sometimes.

(Everyone’s so upset today!  It makes me sad.  =(  )

JI – Garrosh, you shouldn’t be angry with Spazzle.  I was the one that—

GARROSH – Believe me, Deep-Dish, there’s PLENTY of blame to go around.  From what I can tell, you’ve BOTH been keeping plenty busy.  MATTER OF FACT – Krog, you wanna give them the short version before they start getting a case of patchwork memory?

KROG – Yes, sir.  (flipping through a note pad)  Shortly after Eitrigg banished Mokvar

GARROSH – Only good move the old prune made while I was away, by the way.

KROG – …Fizzletrinket was observed meeting with Mokvar and the human Deliana in Everlook, Winterspring.

SPAZZLE – Wait, how did you trail me to Everlook?

KROG – I’m a rogue.  Work it out.

SPAZZLE – But why were you observing me?

KROG – I observe everyone.

GARROSH – He’s very thorough.

SPAZZLE – But I hadn’t done anything—

GARROSH – Until you did?

KROG – To continue…  (flipping through pad again)  No unusual behavior observed until some weeks later.  A short time after the purge of Dalaran, Fizzletrinket is known to have reached out to Earthen Ring contacts in and around Orgrimmar.  Shortly thereafter, Firepaw observed traveling to Earthen Ring outpost in Twilight Highlands.  Subsequent investigation indicated Firepaw had approached Earthen Ring elders concerning locating Mokvar.

GARROSH – So.  Here’s where one of you starts talking.  I don’t really care which one.

(Mr. Goblin and Mr. Ji stared at the floor.  Maybe they didn’t hear Mr. Warchief?  Oh, or did someone drop something?)

GARROSH – Okay then.  How about this.  Why weeks of nothing, then all of a sudden you jump into Mokvar mode?  Was it a signal?  Some message he got to you somehow, maybe something you planned for at your little get-together in Winterspring?

JI – We haven’t heard anything from Mokvar, no…

GARROSH – I know he gave you something, Greenie.  Some— what was it, Krog?

KROG – A small parcel, sir.  Delivered to Fizzletrinket in Everlook.  I wasn’t able to confirm what it was exactly.

GARROSH – Yeah.  So…was that part of it?  Or is it some other surprise I get to look forward to?

SPAZZLE – It… it was a totem.

GARROSH – Go on.

SPAZZLE – It’s called a recall totem.  Shamans attune themselves to them so they can teleport back home with their Astral Recall spell.

GARROSH – And Mokvar was giving it to you because…?

SPAZZLE – So… when this was all over…he could bring himself home.

GARROSH – Oh, so you mean, back home to the place he got himself BANISHED from?  And you just went right ahead and helped him set up to pop back into town and do spirits-knows-what he’s planning?

SPAZZLE – It doesn’t really matter at this point…

JI – You don’t know that.

GARROSH – What the hell does that mean?

SPAZZLE – The totem… the totem went out.  It fizzled out.  The spirit link between Mokvar and the totem was broken, and the only reason that would happen is if Mokvar was dead.  Like, for-real dead.

JI – We still can’t be sure.

SPAZZLE – You only say that because you’re not a shaman.  You don’t understand.

JI – I say it because I’m not a pessimist.

SPAZZLE – Anyway.  That’s…that’s why we were trying to reach the Earthen Ring.  To see if there was any way to find out for sure what happened to Mokvar.

GARROSH – You just said he’s dead.  What else is there to know?

SPAZZLE(shrugging)  I don’t know.

GARROSH – Huh.  Dead.  (thinks)  Good then.  Best news I’ve heard all day.

BEN-LIN – Garrosh, please—

GARROSH – Not now, Ben.

BEN-LIN – If he is indeed gone, there is nothing to be gained from—

GARROSH – Ben, CAN it.  So.  You two.  Why?

SPAZZLE(staring down)  I guess I just wanted to believe there was a reason for all the weird things he was doing.

BEN-LIN – Garrosh, it does not appear there was really any harm in—

GARROSH – DAMMIT, BEN, STOP ACTING LIKE MOKVAR WAS SOME POOR INNOCENT VICTIM!  I still don’t understand half the shit he was doing, but I don’t need to.  Dealing with some human, with that Neeru Fireblade…most of all cutting some kind of deal with MAGATHA.  You haven’t been around that long, Ben, so I don’t expect you to have any idea what that MEANS—

BEN-LIN – I understand your anger, Garrosh.  But what Ji and Spazzle have done—

GARROSH – IS THE SAME DAMN THING.  (glaring back at Spazzle and Ji)  Listen… I can deal with the bitching from Baine.  And I can take it from Lorthe’motherfucker, because what else would I expect from him?  And I can take it from Sylvanas, because let’s face it, she’s kind of evil anyway.  They come with the job.  I inherited them.  But THEM… Spazzle and Mokvar… I CHOSE them.  I fucking LET THEM IN.  And now—

BEN-LIN – And now you feel betrayed and angry.  I understand.

GARROSH – Is this where you give me one of your speeches about pushing the anger down and burying it, or some shit?

BEN-LIN – Not at all.  Your emotions are real and valid.  They cannot be contained and ignored, or they will only fester; they must be let out, and dealt with.

GARROSH – Listen, you’re here to help me try to talk sense to Double Stuff over there, not to start fortune cookie-ing on me.

SPAZZLE – Look, chief, I get why you’re mad, and I’m sorry…

JI – I’m not.

GARROSH(blinking)  Excuse me?

BEN-LIN(facepawing)  And here we go.

JI – I’m not sorry.  Mokvar is my friend.  He’s your friend, too.  I don’t know why you’ve chosen to forget that, but I don’t regret trying to help him.

GARROSH – Lunchbox, maybe you just haven’t been paying attention to what the fuck’s been going on, or maybe it all just slipped out of your damn head, what with all the bacon fat you’ve got up there apparently—

SPAZZLE – Whew, and I thought I was in trouble up to a minute ago.

GARROSH – …but I tried to help Mokvar too, when all the weird crap started happening.  I tried to PROTECT him – and he thanked me by running around with at least two and maybe three or four of enemies.  If he was such a great friend, you want to explain to me why he’d be dealing with the likes of Magatha?  Riddle me THAT one, Pudge.

JI – I don’t know.

GARROSH – Yeah, so—

JI – That doesn’t mean he had no reasons for doing what he did.  It only means we don’t know what those reasons were.  Until I find out, why should I assume the worst?

GARROSH – Because you’ve got an ounce of sense in your head?  OH WAIT, APPARENTLY YOU DON’T.

JI – Garrosh, I don’t know all of what Mokvar was doing, but I know he’s a good man.  So whatever he’s done, I’m willing to trust it was what he needed to do.

GARROSH – Yeah, well, that’s great, Second-Serving, but you know what?  Some of us have to live in fucking REALITY-LAND.

JI – Garrosh—

GARROSH – Seriously, Ben, do you hear this shit?

BEN-LIN – I do.

GARROSH – I don’t know where he gets this crap.

BEN-LIN – We study it, sir.

GARROSH – Yeah, well— what?

BEN-LIN – Consider, Garrosh: I know – well, I suspect – you are already familiar with the Huojin philosophy of action, that challenges are to be faced directly and decisively.

GARROSH – Yeah, I remember one of you people yammering about that when you first got here.

JI – That was me.

GARROSH – It was?

JI – Yes, sir.  Right before you made us fight an arena full of monsters.

GARROSH – Ah.  Well then.

BEN-LIN – And while we hold to this ideal of decisive action, Garrosh, another key component for us is that those actions be based upon the world as it is, not as the world as we might wish it to be.

JI – Otherwise, you expend your energy trying to force square pegs into round holes, then raging at the pegs for not fitting.

BEN-LIN – It is a point I have tried to make with you before, Garrosh.  Much of your anger, I feel, stems from insisting of the world, “This is not supposed to be happening this way,” then attempting to force it to happen some other way.

GARROSH – Funny, I feel pretty sure it stems from the fact that I’m surrounded by TRAITORS AND FUCKING MORONS.

KROG – Um…

GARROSH – Not you, K.

BEN-LIN – “Traitors and morons,” as you put it—

GARROSH – FUCKING morons.  Not just garden variety.

BEN-LIN – …being a perception, you see, grounded on the insistence that those people’s choices and intellects should be something other than they are.

GARROSH – I… erm… what the FUCK does any of this have to do with fucking ANYTHING?  I don’t even know what we’re fucking TALKING about!

JI – It’s not that complicated, Garrosh.  Things happen in the right way, at the right time – when you let them, rather than struggling against them.  Mokvar needed to act.  So he followed the path that the world placed before him.  Just as I, faced with a friend in danger, acted by following the path that was available to me.

BEN-LIN – According to Huojin, the greatest wrong would be not to act.

GARROSH – Oh for fuck’s sake… Well, whatever, Heaping-Helping, your “paths” or whatever have reached a dead end.

JI – Actually, I’d wanted to ask you, I was thinking—

GARROSH – Well DON’T.  DON’T think.  Just do what you’re fucking told for once.  Starting with parking yourself at home and staying there.  (turning to Krog)  Krog – escort Stay-Puft here back to his house, and make sure he stays there.  I’ll have a guard sent over to keep an eye on the door.

KROG – Yes, sir.

GARROSH – Consider yourself under house arrest until I decide what to do with you.

JI – But I think there still might be a—

GARROSH – THERE’S NOT.  THE END.  Now GO.

JI – If you say so, Garrosh.  Time will tell, I suppose…

(Mr. Krog left with Mr. Ji.  I’m confused.  Everybody seems so upset and nervous and they’re yelling and arguing and nobody seems to be getting along even though we’re all friends and I don’t understand why.  It gives me sad kitty face.  =(  )

SPAZZLE – Really, chief, try not to be too hard on him.  He’s just been worried since Mokvar disappeared, and—

GARROSH – Why are you talking like you’re off the hook now yourself?

SPAZZLE – Um…

GARROSH – You can count yourself lucky that, far as I can see, you’ve mostly just been the messenger in all this.  And BOTH of you are lucky Mokvar’s gone to the big rez timer in the sky, otherwise I wouldn’t be nearly so generous with either one of you.  But you, Short Stack, you can consider yourself under house arrest too while I cool down.  Just so happens, I’m not so worried about you trying to skip town before I post the guard.

SPAZZLE – Uh…yeah, okay, chief… I guess I can keep myself busy online for a while, while you…you know…think things over.

GARROSH – I mean, seriously, with all the time you spend on Earth Online, you’ve practically been on self-imposed house arrest almost the whole time I’ve known you.  You’ll live.

BEN-LIN – I think it is wise that you are not rushing to a decision with angry, Garrosh.

GARROSH – Yeah, whatever, Ben.  Anyway, Spazzle, you get your tail back home pronto.  I need to go track down Faranell and see if he’s finished those tests on Shayari yet.

BEN-LIN – Shayari?

SPAZZLE – Yeah, she’s…  (stopping himself, looking to Garrosh)  Um, that is…

GARROSH(shrugging)  Whatever, I’d end up telling her anyway.  Shayari’s my daughter.  We think.

BEN-LIN – Your… you have a daughter, Garrosh?

SPAZZLE – It’s okay if you need to sit down.  I did at first.

GARROSH – Yeah, we think so.  Faranell’s doing his tests now, but her story seems to check out.

BEN-LIN – I see.  (thinking)  Well then.  I will clear my schedule for the next week.

GARROSH – Turns out, she was born back in Nagrand when I was like eighteen, only I never knew about her until just a few days ago.

BEN-LIN – So…you have a long-lost, newfound…teenage daughter?

GARROSH – Yeah.

BEN-LIN – Very well.  The next two weeks.

SPAZZLE – You haven’t heard the best part yet.

BEN-LIN – Oh dear.

GARROSH – Uh, yeah, she’s…kind of…well, her mother was draenei.  Shayari was living with the Alliance in Dalaran until, you know, the shit hit the fan and Jaina kicked her out…

BEN-LIN – A month.  One month, but that is as far as I can go.

GARROSH – Anyhow.  I need to go find the doc.  Might as well get this confirmed, as if there’s any doubt left at this point, what with how Mortimer is doting over her.  I’ll expect you back at your house before the guard gets there.  Don’t make me come looking for you, Greenie.

(Mr. Warchief left, still grumbling a little.)

BEN-LIN – A daughter… why that is… How old did you say she is?

SPAZZLE – Seventeen, I think.

BEN-LIN – Goodness, that is…that is simply remarkable!  And he had no idea until now?

SPAZZLE – You wouldn’t ask that if you’d seen the shade of gray he turned when he found out.

BEN-LIN – My word… This is astounding!  Garrosh reunited with an unknown daughter, from across faction lines!  I scarcely have words for it!

SPAZZLE – Huh.  You know, not for anything, but you seem really jazzed about this.

BEN-LIN – Are you kidding?  (beaming)  This is going to put my grandchildren through college.

 

 

[A quick update on the Transmogs for Shayari contest!  First of all, thank you to the many readers who have already sent in outfits for Shay – they’ve been great so far, so keep them coming!  I just wanted to correct an error that I noticed in the original announcement: I had listed the deadline for the contest as Saturday, February 27.  This is problematic, in that February 27 is not a Saturday.  Don’t ask me what happened there.  I was probably having another one of my many episodes.  At any rate, I figure I may as well err on the side of giving people more time rather than less, so let’s revise the due date to the next Saturday after the 27th, which would be March 1.

I think.  Hang on.

<checks calendar all paranoid-like>

Yes, there we go.  So, officially: the deadline for the Transmogs for Shay contest is SATURDAY, MARCH 1!  Get thee to mogging!]

Paternity (part 2)

Posted in Comics, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 5, 2014 by Garrosh Hellscream

orgrimmar7

So, picking up right where we left off last time

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* In Garrosh’s most recent mailbag, he discussed the lank distemper, a disease that ravaged the Kurenai of Nagrand at roughly the same time the orcs were afflicted with the red pox.

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Well, I guess that’s what I get for giving that job to a 15-year-old, right?  Oh well.  Moving on with the record from Taktani.  (Let’s keep our fingers crossed on this one…)

 

(Yay, Mr. Warchief is letting me be his scribe again!  I better do a good job because I guess Mr. Warchief was checking on how Mr. Gurtash was doing and he wasn’t too happy.  Everyone else seems a little upset, too.  I guess being a scribe is super important work!  Mr. Gurtash looked really embarrassed when he left.  I hope he doesn’t feel too bad because I think he draws good.  He even draws me!  Yay!  Oh wait I think they’re talking about me!)

SHAYARI – Okay, so that was weird.

FARANELL – You get used to it after a while.

SHAYARI – So, who’s this one now?

GARROSH – Really, the less you ask about her, the better.

MALKOROK – More importantly, goat, we’ll be the ones asking the questions.

TAKTANI – Hi!  I’m Taktani!

LIADRIN – Shayari, this is another of Garrosh’s assistants—

TAKTANI – But you can call me Tak!

SHAYARI – Oh, so she’s filling in for the pipsqueak now?

TAKTANI – Or Tak-Tak!

GARROSHHow many times do I have to tell you, THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS!

SHAYARI – Well, at least she seems a little cheerier than Chuckles over there.

(That made Mr. Malkorok really mad.  He seems to be pretty grumpy.  He spends a lot of time with Mr. Warchief so I guess he must help him a lot, but I wish he wouldn’t yell so much.)

MALKOROK – Warchief, one swing!  That’s all I ask!  One swing is all I’ll need to silence this…this creature permanently.

(I don’t think I like him very much.  It makes me sad.  =(  )

GARROSH – Malk, last time, cool it.

MALKOROK – Count yourself lucky the Warchief is so merciful, goat!

SHAYARI – You mad, bro?

MALKOROK –  I— you— how dare— sir— UNGH!  (He paced around a few seconds, shaking his fists, grinding his teeth, and looking at Mr. Warchief now and then)  I… I think I need to walk a bit.  If you’ll excuse me, sir…

(Mr. Malkorok stormed off and started stomping back and forth near the bank.  It sounded like he was grumbling to himself.  I’m not sure, but I think he might have punched a couple people, too.  That’s mean!  =(  )

SPAZZLE – Okay, so whether you’re really Garrosh’s daughter or not, I already like you.

(OMG Mr. Warchief is a daddy?!?!  YAY!!!  That’s so exciting!!)

GARROSH – So hang on.  Even assuming this is all true – which we ARE going to check — how did you wind up HERE?

SHAYARI – I was living in Dalaran studying to be a mage when…well, when Jaina went all schizo.

GARROSH – Gotta say, I knew it was only a matter of time before she went off the deep end.

SHAYARI – Oh my Light, I know!  She thinks she’s such a big deal, rolling into town and taking over, and being all Emo Queen of Pain, and… Oh, and Kalecgos!  Have you heard about her and Kalecgos?  You should see how she leads that poor dragon around by the nose!

GARROSH – Heh, yeah.  I’ve kinda gotten that sense from those two…

SHAYARI – No, no, I mean literally!  He has a nose ring in his dragon form, and she’s got this leash, and— and— oh spirits it’s so sad.

GARROSH –  Hah!  Hahaha…that’s…that’s kind of awesome.

SHAYARI – Awesomely sad.

(I like when Mr. Warchief gets happy like this.  He doesn’t yell as much!  Not like Mr. Malkorok.)

GARROSH – So hang on, if you’ve been staying with the Sunreavers all this time, how come this is the first I’m hearing about it?

LIADRIN – She wasn’t with the Sunreavers, sir.  At least not until the purge was well underway.

SHAYARI – I stayed mostly over on the Silver Covenant part of Dalaran.  People knew I was half orcish…most of the time I would pass as full draenei, but the other draenei could see it.  It wasn’t as big a deal when I was back in Nagrand, but…  (shrugs)  Anyway.  After Jaina had her little hissy fit, anyone with any Horde ties became pretty unwelcome in Dalaran.  My being half orc was close enough for some of them, I guess.

GARROSH – So, wait, if people knew you were half orc, does that mean they knew—

SHAYARI – I never talked to people about who my father was.  My mom told me, and a few people back in Telaar knew, but…

LIADRIN – I would imagine it was for the best that the Kirin Tor didn’t know of her full parentage.

GARROSH – Yeah, I figure that would have made her a lot less popular a lot sooner.

SHAYARI – Oh my Light, you should hear the things they say about you there!  The things they talk about you doing!  I figured all those stories had to be some kind of Alliance propaganda to make you look bad!

(Everyone just kind of looked at each other for a minute.  I don’t really understand why.  Maybe they were trying to figure out why people would want to say mean things about Mr. Warchief?  That’s mean, especially since he’s a daddy now!

Mr. Warchief looked around at everyone being all quiet.)

GARROSH – WELL DON’T EVERYONE AGREE WITH HER AT ONCE!

LIADRIN – Clearly propaganda, yes, sir.

SPAZZLE – Don’t know where people come up with this stuff, chief.

FARANELL – Unless, you know, they exist in this universe and have eyes.  But sure, whatever does it for you.

(Mr. Malkorok came back over to us.  He didn’t seem so mad now, but it’s hard to tell since he’s always kind of grumpy.)

MALKOROK – Apologies for my…outburst, Warchief.

GARROSH – Yeah, it’s fine, Malk.  So anyway, you said the doc has some way of checking out this story?

LIADRIN – Yes, sir.  Obviously the doctor himself can comment with greater authority on the details.

(While they were talking, Mr. Warchief’s wyvern Mr. Mortimer came wandering over to us.  He passed by Mr. Malkorok first, and I guess he maybe thought Mr. Malkorok was a tree?  Because he kind of…well…lifted his leg…on his leg.)

MALKOROK – UGHH this damned flea-bitten— I— GAHH I’ll be back…

(Mr. Malkorok stomped off again.  Mr. Mortimer walked up to Miss Shayari and nuzzled against her leg.  Aww!)

SHAYARI – Aww, (That’s what I said!) who’s this?  (petting the wyvern)

GARROSH – That’s Mortimer.

SHAYARI(still petting)  You named him Mortimer?

GARROSH – Actually, no.

SPAZZLE – It came from that D.E.H.T.A. guy, didn’t it?

GARROSH – Yeah.

SHAYARI – Oh, those hippies?  (petting more)  Well, it’s okay, Mortimer, you’re a handsome boy even if the crazy hippies did give you a silly name.

LIADRIN – Shay, perhaps you could take the wyvern for a walk while we discuss a few things.

SHAYARI – Sure.  Come on, Mortimer!

(Miss Shayari and Mr. Morty started walking around the Valley of Strength.  The rest of us watched her walk away.)

TAKTANI – I like her!  She seems nice!

SPAZZLE – Not gonna lie.  She had me at “You mad, bro?”

LIADRIN – Warchief?  Any thoughts?

GARROSH – I don’t know.  But her story from Nagrand…well, she’s got her details straight.  At least the names and dates.

(Mr. Warchief looked across the valley for a minute to watch Miss Shayari and Mr. Mortimer walking by the main gate.)

GARROSH – Mortimer seems to like her.

SPAZZLE – Yeah, he took to her right away.

GARROSH – He is a pretty good judge of character.

FARANELL – This would be the wyvern that likes you, correct?

GARROSH – Your point being, Easy-Break?

FARANELL – Just citing further evidence to your point, obviously.

LIADRIN – Loathe though I am to agree with the overlord—

SPAZZLE – Isn’t it funny how you’ve known him for like five minutes, and you already hate to admit he might have a point?

LIADRIN – …he does raise a valid concern.  The details of Shayari’s past all build on information that could have been acquired, albeit with some measure of difficulty.

GARROSH – Yeah.  They would have to do some digging, but they could have pieced it together.

LIADRIN – The fact that she comes from Dalaran is cause for us to be all the more wary.

(Mr. Warchief looked across at Miss Shayari, who was still walking with Mr. Mortimer around the Valley of Strength.  In front of the Broken Tusk, she started talking with one of the orcs, Mr. Thathung.)

GARROSH – What do you really think?

LIADRIN – I think that if she is who she says she is, she lives in a better world than we do.

GARROSH – …In Common, please?

LIADRIN(sighing but smiling)  I only mean that if she is your daughter, sir, she’s grown up hearing stories from the Alliance about the orcs, and about you in particular, and yet she’s come here fully expecting to be embraced by her father and given a home.  As she said herself, she’s been told countless reasons to consider you a villain – and rejected all of them as lies.  If that really is her, I may even envy her.

GARROSH – So you believe her.

LIADRIN – I would still counsel prudence.  But I prefer to hope for the best in people.

GARROSH – Sounds like you live in a “better world” yourself.

LIADRIN – No, I don’t.  That’s why I hate to give up on the possibility of an unbroken soul.  I know this world well enough to understand how rare they are.

(Over by the Broken Tusk, Shayari had been continuing to talk with Mr. Thathung all this time – only she looked like she was getting pretty upset with Mr. Thathung for some reason.  Now she finally hit him!  Um…a whole bunch of times!  Over and over and over, really angry-like!  Oh no!)

SHAYARI(in the distance, but still clearly audible)  Hey, I said to WATCH THE HANDS, Grabby McWanderpaws!  (flinging Mr. Thathung against the auction house wall and continuing to beat him senseless)  Yeah!  See how you like people grabbing YOU!  NEXT TIME I’LL TAKE YOUR FUCKING HAND CLEAN OFF AND FUCKING FEED IT TO YOU – IN REVERSE!

(Mr. Warchief, Ms. Liadrin, Mr. Goblin, and Dr. Zombie looked back and forth at each other.)

SPAZZLE – Huh.

GARROSH – Well then.

FARANELL – So, yeah, I can still do the tests if you want, but honestly, if you ask me, it’s just going to be a waste of perfectly good ichor.

 

So…yeah.  I still have a million and one things to deal with here in Orgrimmar before I head back to Pandaria, but…well, now I guess that’s going to be a million and two.

Stay tuned.

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