Archive for korga strongmane

Membership drive

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , on November 14, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

Well look at that — that didn’t take long at all.  Like I mentioned last time, Korga Strongmane had sent word that he was going to try to arrange for some of the pandaren to make the trip to Orgrimmar to pledge themselves to the Horde.  Which first of all, nice job with the recruiting and public relations there, Korga.  Nice to see at least SOME of the tauren are getting with the program.  And now, I just got a followup message from Korga this morning saying that the first wave of pandaren recruits are on their way and should be in Orgrimmar today.

So I’m sure it’s no shock to anyone who read my last post that I was pretty excited about getting to meet these pandaren.  They’ve got a pretty badass reputation, for one, and it’ll also be good to add some new blood to the mix — new recruits drawn almost immediately out of this new culture we’re encountering for the first time.  Just take a second and think about how THAT goes down: these pandaren are going about their business, they’ve had their own thing going for thousands of years, then the Horde shows up for like five minutes and they’re like, “Oh hey, shit, I wanna go with THESE guys!”  Because the Horde is JUST THAT AWESOME.  That’s how we roll.  Ha!  See?  You don’t see the fucking ALLIANCE pulling off shit like that.  You don’t see any of these badass martial-arts-rocking pandaren lining up to drop everything and go sign on with fucking VARIAN.  HORDE PRIDE, baby!

Okay, hang on a second, Eitrigg is trying to tell me something.

 

 

MOTHER FUCKER.

Okay so I guess you DO see that shit happening, because APPARENTLY there was also a bunch of pandaren who went and joined the Alliance.  And what the FUCK is up with THAT?  I guess some of the pandaren are easily impressed or some shit.

Son of a BITCH.

Okay, whatever.  This throws a big ol’ monkey wrench into my “Welcome to the Horde” speech I was going to give them, but fuck it.  I’ll just improvise something on the fly.  Should be fine.  Meanwhile, the pandaren who DON’T have their heads up their asses, and their leader Ji Firepaw, should be here any time now.  This should be interesting.  I’ll post again soon to let you all know how it goes.

 

P.S.  Fuck you, Varian.

Word from the field

Posted in General with tags , , , , on November 12, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

Pandaria!

I’ve just gotten my first reports back from General Nazgrim, and it turns out that that huge landmass they found in the southern ocean is Pandaria!  CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT?  I’d heard stories about Pandaria, but I just kind of figured that’s all they were — stories.  And sure, Rexxar would swear up and down about the adventures he had with Chen Stormstout, but I mean, come on, you get to that part about all the beer they had, and you’re going to tell me you’re not going to sit there and think, “Ah, so THAT’S why he thinks he did all this shit”?

But no, turns out, it’s all for real.  I just received my first report from Nazgrim.  Not all the news is good — apparently, by the time Nazgrim arrived with the Hellscream’s Fist, the Alliance had already established a base there and destroyed the port that had been established by OUR initial naval force.  On the plus side, Nazgrim and his people took out the Alliance base at Thunder Hold — although Nazgrim seemed pretty sketchy on some of the details — and have secured a portion of the Jade Forest while forging relations with some of the pandaren and another native race called the hozen.  On the minus side, before Nazgrim was able to overthrow the Alliance forces, they were able to shoot down the Hellscream’s Fist, killing a large portion of Nazgrim’s troops in the process.  Right now he’s working with a team consisting of Sergeant Garrok, marksman Shokia, Shademaster Kiryn, chief engineer Rivett Clutchpop, and a few elite Horde adventurers who’d volunteered for the mission and — as usual — were just too damn tough to wind up killed.

Meanwhile I also have a report from Korga Strongmane.  He and a number of our other people were captured by the Alliance during the initial skirmishes in Pandaria.  The Alliance sent a gunship to transport the prisoners back to Stormwind, but good ol’ Korga and the others staged an uprising on the airship and wound up crashing it on a nearby island called the Wandering Isle.  From what he tells me in his report, he’s won the trust and support of some of the pandaren who live on the island, and he’s arranging for several of them to come to Orgrimmar to pledge themselves to the Horde.  NOW we’re in business — if the stories about Pandaria are real, then maybe some of the stories about the pandaren and their crazy-ass martial arts skills are too.  This should be fun to see.

Meanwhile, I’m still going to need more information on what’s going on out there, so everybody keep those reports coming.  It wouldn’t surprise me at all if the Alliance are up to no good down there, and I STILL want to find out what happened to Captain Krug and the original fleet.

More details soon.

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