Archive for inspection visit

Visiting Dreadmaul Hold

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on April 21, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

dreadmaulhold

So the other day I asked for suggestions for inspection stops in the Eastern Kingdoms.  The suggestions pretty much clustered – a lot of recommendations for the northern regions like Hillsbrad, Tirisfal, and the Plaguelands, and then some others for our southern outposts in the Blasted Lands and the Swamp of Sorrows.  For the time being I’m going to table the northern settlements.  For one thing, hitting all the outposts will definitely take more time than I can spare in one chunk, and also, more importantly, after this past week’s mailbag, I have some business I need to go check on in Outland, so I figure it would just make more sense to deal with the southern outposts on my way to and from the Dark Portal.

I took a mage portal down to the Dark Portal and flew up to Dreadmaul Hold.  Things are fairly well under control there, still some skirmishes with the Dreadmaul ogres but nowhere near as much as there had been when we first retook the outpost and kicked the ogres out.  But you were right, A Concerned Citizen, Warmatron Okrilla is getting a little carried away down there, first and foremost with the ogres.  Look, everybody knows I’m not exactly warm and fuzzy, and I’m not one to back away from a good war when somebody wants to go at it with me.  But that doesn’t mean you don’t try to maintain SOME sense of honor while you’re fighting your war.  And this?  Taking Dreadmaul ogres captive and forcing them to be your slave labor?  That’s just not cool.  That’s the kind of shit that the Scourge did up in Northrend, or the Twilights in all the places they cropped up in like roaches.  You don’t do that with your prisoners, with maybe the possible exception of Alliance prisoners if you happen to need a food taster…and even THAT’S not hard labor, unless maybe the food is really badly undercooked, I guess.  (And in that case the cook knows he’s going to be taken out by the rear gate and beaten around some, so we know THAT problem won’t be coming up again, will it now, Marogg?)

What’s more, I was also getting reports that Okrilla wasn’t allowing non-orcs into the outpost at all.  Turns out that was kind of an exaggeration, other Horde races are free to go there, but from what I saw when I was there, any tauren or trolls or whatever that happen by definitely get a lot cooler reception than orcs.  And so…again…I’m all for orc pride.  Totally down with that.  And yeah, I might have gotten a complaint or two about my decision to restrict Orgrimmar’s main residential areas to orcs and tauren, but here’s the difference.  That was a tactical decision about the defense of the city.  Yeah, bitch all you want about the undead or blood elves not having their own houses there anymore or whatever, but I’m still not trying to stop them from COMING to the fucking city.  Some blood elf wants to come in and do some business, see a trainer, use the portals, pick up a few assignments for jobs in the outlying zones, just hang out with some friends, whatever, great, have at it.  Unless he’s Johnny Awesome.  Then, fuck him.  But anyway.

So I ended up sitting Okrilla down and giving her a talking to about all this.  Like I said, I totally get the orc pride, and on a related note even being a little territorial about Dreadmaul Hold.  After all, it WAS our city back when it was founded as Rockard.  But I laid it out in no uncertain terms that I don’t want to be hearing about any more racial problems, because at the rate she was going it was just a matter of time before she started giving orcs and non-orcs separate vendors and flight masters and whatever else.  And as for the ogres, she wants to take prisoners, fine, take prisoners and hold them, or use them as bargaining chips to get the rest of the Dreadmaul to back down, or interrogate them for information, do what you need to do, but we’re not going to be doing any more slavery.  Hell, we orcs were kept as slave labor by the humans at one point, so if you’re going to get hung up on orc pride, then it should be a point of that pride to fucking be better than that shit.  Besides, we have ogres working with us, and the last thing I need is Draz’Zilb getting all bitchy with me.

So, there you go, that’s my day.  Freed the slaves and cut off separate-but-equal at the pass.  Go me.

I’m heading back down to the Dark Portal (and I am TOTALLY going to check on the naga and murlocs that ACC mentioned while I’m down that way).  I’ll write more from Outland once I get there.

Two for one special

Posted in EPIC VERSE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 17, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

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So, needless to say after yesterday’s mailbag, I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.  I still plan on making some inspection stops in the Eastern Kingdoms, but the timetable might be spread out a little more than it would have been, what with some other things I need to check up on.

Still, I also definitely need to check on the northern parts of the Eastern Kingdoms, and I’m probably pretty overdue to pay Sylvanas a visit in the Undercity.  So with that in mind, here’s today’s installment of Garrosh’s Poetry Challenge – two short poems today, one on who’s-his-face, the blood elf leader guy…

 

There was a blood elf named…whatever,
Who they tell me is noble and clever.
After Kael’thas went loony
And left Silvermoon, he
Installed in his place…um…whoever.

 

…and one in tribute to one of Sylvanas’…um…colorful citizens.

 

There was a man named Jeremiah
Who was a Forsaken pariah.
If someone encroaches
On selling cockroaches
They’d best pray for some kind of messiah.

 

EPIC VERSE!

Go East, young orc

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , , on April 15, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

zeppelins

This might seem a little overdue, but I’ve been thinking lately that after Zaela turned out to be doing…sort of…an iffy job keeping the Dragonmaw on task out there in the Twilight Highlands, it might be a good idea for me to start paying a few inspection visits to some of our outposts out in the Eastern Kingdoms.  Keep the field commanders on their toes, inspire the troops, all that good stuff.

Thing is, though, traveling around most places in the Eastern Kingdoms is seriously a giant pain in the ass.  Okay, we’ve got a convenient portal from Orgrimmar to Dragonmaw Port, but beyond that it gets pretty dicey.  Yeah, I could have mages open portals for me to locations over there, and I’ve been known to do that now and then in emergencies, but see, most of our committed mages here in Orgrimmar are trolls.  When there’s an actual emergency going on, or it’s urgent that I get somewhere quickly for something important, like say that time I had to take the fast track to Krom’gar in Stonetalon, they’re fine…but short of that, half the time they just take it as an occasion to fuck with me.  Portals to the wrong places, or worse yet, they’ll play portal roulette – put up three or four or five portals all right on top of each other, so I’m not sure which one I’m taking until I’ve gone through.  So yeah, it’s an option, but it’s a damn annoying one.

So other than Dragonmaw Port, pretty much anywhere else you wind up having to take a boat or a zeppelin, and I don’t exactly have a great track record with either one of those.  Plus then I have to make arrangements to bring Mortimer out there with me, because let me tell you, the flight path options out there are some slim pickings.  Not a whole lot of wyverns to choose from, and even the ones they have aren’t much of a match for the sturdy Kalimdor stock.  And beyond junior varsity wyverns?  You’ve got giant bats, which are a little short on the steady and a long on the bitey for my tastes.  And I’m sorry, there’s just no fucking way in hell you’re ever going to see me riding around on a dragonhawk.  Not least of all because most of them look like they would snap in two if I ever actually sat on them.

So, point being, if I’m going to take the trouble to go out there at all, I want to make sure I’m making the best possible use of my time.  Since many of you guys are out there fighting the good fight in the outer territories, I figured it might be helpful to check with you first – what regions of the Eastern Kingdoms do you think would benefit most from having me drop in and Warchief it up?

Desolace postscript

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 21, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

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Not too many letters this week, so I’m going to hold off on doing a mailbag.  (Get with the program and get writing, people!  Your Warchief commands it!  garrosh1337@gmail.com)

Also, a quick note on my recent trip to Desolace.  I think I mentioned at one point that I had a couple stops to make there, but I only ever really blogged about Shadowprey Village (annoying as that was).  Before coming back to Orgrimmar, I also made a stop at Ghost Walker Post.  I didn’t write anything about that at the time, partly because I was trying to save time for the trip back home, and partly because it was generally pretty uneventful.  It was also a little depressing, so I really just didn’t want to dwell on it much, but it’s probably just as well for me to give it a quick write-up now.  Better than dwelling on this Grimtotem business.

I’ve been out to Ghost Walker Post once before, and I have to admit, I always find the place pretty depressing in general.  Not so much for the outpost itself, which is fine as far as outposts go, but because of the area right below it – the kodo graveyard.  Go ahead and laugh if you want, but ever since I moved to Azeroth I’ve had kind of a soft spot for kodos (maybe they just remind me of my pet clefthoof from when I was a kid).  So seeing the place where kodos go to die, with all the skeletons and corpses all around, that’s just a little more than I want to take most days.

At least the surrounding area is a little less depressing-looking these days.  I know the Cataclysm brought water into the area to help feed the regrowth of vegetation, but even still, it’s pretty incredible to see the change.  The whole area around the outpost has turned lush and green, and there’s even the beginnings of a forest starting up really quickly.  The Cenarion people – hippie druids, yeah, but still less annoying than those DEHTA fuckers – have set up a base there at Karnum’s Glade, although I didn’t actually go over there, because, you know, druids.  Still, I had to look around the new wildlands there, just because it really is a pretty amazing sight.  Even when you figure in the new sources of water, it’s incredible that the place started recovering so quickly.  It’s enough to make you wonder whether there’s something more going on there, beyond just the influx of water.

Which…yeah.  Really have to wonder.  I probably shouldn’t even mention this, because people are probably going to think I’m crazy, and it really honestly could be my imagination playing tricks on me.  But at one point when I was looking around the wildlands, off in the distance, I could have sworn I could see the figure of a tauren – not fully solid, but partly transparent, even a little shimmery.  Maybe it was just the light and the glare of the sun, I don’t know.  But it’s not just that.  If it were just a tauren it could have been anybody, and with all the druids around, not to mention Ghost Walker Post, there’s no shortage of tauren in the area.  But I recognized him.  I would know him anywhere.  The stature, the totem always in hand…the steady gaze that always seemed to be sizing me up and coming away just disappointed enough.

It was Cairne.  I swear on the spirits I thought I saw Cairne.

He looked at me, and he looked away, and just scanned around the wildlands like he was assessing his work.  And then he was gone.

At least gone from view.  I haven’t been able to get him out of my mind since.

Open season on ogres?

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 11, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

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Some disturbing reports coming back to me from a couple different fronts today.  Short version: the Grimtotem seem to have gone batshit crazy.

Actually, let me correct that.  I mean, let’s face it, the Grimtotem were already pretty batshit.  But apparently now they’re managing to go batshittier.

Word’s come in from Feralas that the handful of Grimtotem in the area have started launching attacks on the Gordunni ogres.  There doesn’t seem to be much of a pattern so far, just one strike after another in the ruins of Isildien, the Gordunni outpost near Camp Mojache, sometimes even venturing all the way into Dire Maul.  Here and there some of the ogres working with us out of Stonemaul Hold have gotten caught up in the attacks, but according to Orhan Ogreblade it doesn’t seem like they were targets specifically, just caught in the crossfire since, you know, when you’re in a mood to kill ogres, you’re not always too picky about which ones.

Side note – can’t really blame them there.  I know back in Nagrand I used to get into ogre-killing moods all the time, and when that happened I didn’t care which ones I was hacking to pieces.  “Big, tall, really REALLY fat guy” really does start to bleed together after the first few seconds, right?  Oh shit, are some of our ogres going to read that and get all pissy with me now?  Do I need to find the damn delete key again?  Wait, no, what am I talking about?  They’re ogres.  They can’t read.  Moving on.

So anyway, the thing with the Grimtotem in Feralas is strange, but if that’s all that was going on I wouldn’t really care a whole lot.  It’s not like the Gordunni have been anything but a pain in the ass to the Horde in Feralas, so if one group of my enemies want to spend their time killing off another group of my enemies, hey, cool, have at it, boys.  But I also just received a report from Krog in Brackenwall Village indicating that the Grimtotem that had settled in Dustwallow Marsh have stepped up their raids on the Stonemaul ogres as well.  Granted the Grimtotem have been a pain in the ass in Dustwallow for a while, but ever since they razed Shady Rest Inn it’s seemed like they’ve mostly been focused on the humans out of Theramore.  Not sure why they’d be taking an interest in the Stonemaul ogres now, but it’s starting to look like the clan all of a sudden has it in for ogres all over the place.

I’m dispatching Dontrag and Utvoch down to Dustwallow to help Krog with the ongoing investigation.  (I figure he could use some extra brainpower down there, what with him being mostly surrounded my ogres.  Intermittently dead ogres at that, these days.)  Meanwhile I might need to step up my own plans for an inspection trip to Feralas and try to see what’s going on down there.  Not sure what the Grimtotem are up to, but I kind of have a vested interest in getting in the way of anything that’s going to make their lives smoother…

Visiting Desolace

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , on November 5, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

Just got back from the final part of this last inspection tour, this time making a couple stops in Desolace.  Most of the time there I was in Shadowprey Village, which, well…you know, trolls.  Wall to wall trolls.  So you can probably imagine how that went.  And I mean, they seem to be on top of things there pretty much, but I’m at a loss for what it is that these trolls find so fucking funny all the damn time.  You try to talk to them about anything, and it’s just a big laugh riot.  I’m starting to wonder if they’re all just smoking something.

I’d heard they had some pretty good seafood there, so I tried asking Lui’Mala about it, since I figured she would be in the know what with her being the fishing trainer there, but apparently the question was too damn funny for her to pull her shit together enough to answer, so yeah, on to Plan B.  I finally managed to get an answer out of Jinar’Zillen, who told me they were a little short on fish at the moment, but they’ve been bringing in some really high quality crab lately if I wanted to swim down and bring up a few of the traps.  I couldn’t help but wonder why they would actually need the fucking Warchief to go haul back his own crab traps, what with it being a fishing village where you’d think there’d be someone around whose actual fucking JOB that would be, or at the very least they’d have some random noobs to go do it just to keep them busy and out of trouble, but whatever, what with all the traveling I haven’t had the chance to do my usual swimming routine anyway, so fine.  He said they were having their best luck with the traps a little way to the north, so I swam down there, only when I got there I couldn’t see any traps anyplace – and while I was looking, this huge orca came rolling up on me and decided it was snack time.  Didn’t work out so well for him, but still.  Turns out, the orca was kind of famous around the village – name of Blubbergut apparently – so I don’t know how Jinar’Zillen could have mixed up his feeding territory with the trapping spots.  Still, that solved the whole problem with the lack of fish, so at least I got a decent lunch out of it.

After I finally got tired of trying to figuring out what all the trolls were finding so damn hilarious all the time, I ended up spending most of my time hanging out with Rokaro, a Champion of the Horde and successor to Rexxar there in Desolace.  Speaking of which, gotta say, we had a fun time exchanging Rexxar stories, since we’d both spent a lot of time with the guy, and if you know Rexxar well, trust me, you get a lot of entertaining stories about him.  Not to go spreading a lot of stories out of school (seeing as I was hardly ever actually IN school), but you know, you watch Rexxar closely and it’s not too hard to connect the dots.  Hangs out with a bear all the time, always wearing a weird wolf mask…well, you do the math.  Although I have to admit the bear thing is kind of cool…it would be nice if we could at least get Rokaro a worg or something.

We ended up swinging by the Mannroc Coven for a while, which is this area that’s overrun with demons that had been summoned by the Burning Blade.  We spent a little time wiping out a few dozen of them just kicks, but these were pretty obviously low demons on the demon totem pole, so they were really easy to kill, and after a little while it just started getting boring.  So we just headed back and figured we’d leave the rest of them to be finished off by some aspiring adventurers, um, looking for…you know…some critical mission vital to the survival of the Horde.  Or some shit like that.

 

 

[Header image provided by Angelya from Revive and Rejuvenate, used here with permission and many thanks.]

Visiting Desolation Hold

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 29, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

desolationhold

Okay, so can somebody please explain to me, what is it about these damn Forsaken that makes them completely incapable of leaving anything the fuck ALONE?

Let me backtrack.  I finally got settled in at Desolation Hold, and was starting in on my debriefing with Warlord Bloodhilt, who’s turning out to be a much better hire than his predecessor, Gar’dul.  I mean, Gar’dul had already shown himself to be a pretty major fuck-up, what with letting the Alliance run roughshod all over the Battlescar, and losing ground left and right…and don’t even get me started on what he let happen to Camp Taurajo on his watch.  It was pretty painfully obvious that he needed to go, which is why I sent Bloodhilt down to take over, but from what I hear, Gar’dul also managed to really bomb the exit interview while he was at it.

So come to find out, after Gar’dul had been relieved of duty (you might notice, by the way, being “relieved of duty” in the Horde often involves falling from a great height – fair warning to those of you out there whose ambition might be greater than your talent), nobody bothered to dispose of the body properly.  Ordinarily, of course, this would be an easy problem to fix, seeing as sooner or later somebody would be like, “Hey, check out the corpse laying in the middle of our outpost.  It’s starting to smell.  We should probably do something about that.”  In this case, though, Desolation Hold apparently had its very own resident in-house weirdo who took it upon himself to haul the body off for his own purposes.

I’m talking, of course, about that crazy-ass undead dude named Calder Gray, who some of you might remember being kicked the hell out of Orgrimmar for his experiments.  Not that he was violating any actual laws with them, even, but just, you know, eww.  So somehow or other, Calder Gray got hold of Gar’dul’s body, and did a whole stitch job on him using some parts from other corpses (where he got the parts exactly, I think I’d just as soon not know…), and before you could say “It’s alive!”, whammo, reanimated semi-Gar’dul monstrosity.

So there I was in my meeting with Bloodhilt, when Gar’dul 2.0 comes staggering on in, bashing down the door and stumbling into the room.  But here’s the funny part.  At first, Bloodhilt and I both jump up and get ready to fight this thing, and I have to admit I was a little irritated on top of it all, because seriously how many times am I going to have to deal with an undead enemy composed of the reanimated corpse of a former Horde command officer?  (Note to self: Send Dontrag and Utvoch back up to Stonetalon to make sure Krom’gar’s body is accounted for, because fucking hell.)  But get this – instead of attacking us, this thing just kind of starts fluttering around the room, acting all pansy and talking with this idiotic lisp, and asking if anybody knew what had happened to “Lily,” who I guess was Gar’dul’s wife, but I’m kinda having my doubts about that one, or “Eddie,” apparently his son, although you might have to take that up with Lily, see above.

So, that just goes to show what a bad call I made with Gar’dul in the first place, seeing as even in reanimated vengeful rampaging form, he still couldn’t get his foppish ass to put up any kind of a fight.  Oh well, live and learn.  I’ve already had him sent back to Orgrimmar to work under Marogg as a sous chef.  Probably working on pastry mostly.  (Lemon squares, anyone?)  Meanwhile, I’m having Calder Gray kept under surveillance now, to make sure he doesn’t get up to any more trouble.

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