Pandaren excursions

A few updates on the ongoing events in Pandaria.

First and foremost, keep those reports coming.  Some of you have posted some information on your reconnaissance in Pandaria in the comments of my original call for intelligence, some have written to me directly – I’m planning to address some of the write-in reports in this Monday’s mailbag, so be sure to get your contributions in pronto.  Keep it all coming, especially those letters for this coming week.

Your reports are going to be important while I suss out our tactics in the new territories, especially since our new panda recruits are turning out to be a little less helpful in that regard than I’d hoped.  I’d just figured that they could provide a lot of inside information on Pandaria what with, you know, them being freaking PANDAREN, but as it turns out, the pandas who lived on the Wandering Isle were a whole separate bunch who haven’t really had much contact with mainland Pandaria for generations…so other than a few very general cultural insights, they’re as much in the dark as I am.  Way to ingratiate yourself to me right off the bat there, Ji.

I’ve gotten a brief update from General Nazgrim.  He says he’s making inroads recruiting one of the local hozen tribes to fight on our side.  Whatever the fuck a “hozen” is.  Still, more troops will only help, especially considering Nazgrim doesn’t have too many of his own people left after the Hellscream’s Fist got turned into the Hellscream’s Flaming Pile of Toothpicks and Corpses.  (Or as Shademaster Kiryn would probably call it, “a pit roast waiting to happen.”)  I’m still not sure how Nazgrim managed not to notice that the Alliance had an air base down there.  He seemed kind of evasive about that whole part of the episode, so I may need to do some following up there.

Speaking of which.  Since we’ve got a bunch of questions hanging over the entire situation down there, I decided to get some official sleuthing going.  Early yesterday, I dispatched Krog to Pandaria to start investigating what happened to the original Horde fleet, the one that had chased the Alliance flagship down and ran it aground.  Krog had been doing some undercover work on a few loose ends in the recent Razor Hill incident, but for time being I’ve pulled him off of that case to send him to Pandaria.  I’m having him file regular reports on his progress with the invesitation.  Hopefully he’ll be able to find some answers.

And all that sounds fine in theory.  One problem: all of Krog’s previous detective work was in pretty familiar territory – Dustwallow Marsh, the Barrens, Razor Hill, etc.  Get the dude out of his element, and combine that with me stressing that I want answers and not fuck-ups, and the guy turns into a big worrier who won’t make a move without double checking with me.  Should I report to General Nazgrim’s camp or go straight to the last known location of the fleet? he asks me.  I tell him to go right for the fleet.  Should I send word to Nazgrim at all that I’m there?  Don’t worry about Nazgrim’s team, they’ve got their own thing going.  Should I search the remains of our ships first or the remains of the port?  Dude, surprise me, okay?  It’s like I’m at an annoying deli or some shit.  Do you want white or wheat?  Cheese or no?  Mustard, ketchup, or mayo?  Mustard, you say?  Brown or yellow?  Do you want a side of fries with that or onion rings?  Or chips?  How about a pickle?  I JUST WANT A FUCKING SANDWICH before I gnaw my own fucking ARM off, OKAY?

So yeah.  Ugh.  Updates to follow.  Aren’t we all lucky?

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3 Responses to “Pandaren excursions”

  1. Hozen are a lot like monkeys, except that they can talk. And use tools. Sort of.

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