West Azeroth Story

Barnes walks onstage and a spotlight appears over him.

BARNES:  Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to this evening’s presentation!  Tonight we explore a tale of forbidden love!  But beware, for not all love stories end happily.  As you may find out, sometimes love pricks like a thorn.  But don’t take it from me.  See for yourself what tragedy lies ahead when the paths of star-crossed lovers meet.  And now: On with the show!

Barnes walks offstage.  The curtain rises, revealing a farm house with a Horde banner flying behind it.  In the foreground, Garrosh enters from stage right, with Mokvar, Garona, Dontrag, Utvoch, Liadrin, and Faranell in formation behind him.  As they walk by the farm, they begin snapping their fingers rhythmically in unison.  They continue walking until they disappear from view, stage left.

The lights dim for a moment, then come back on, showing that the farm house has been replaced by a blacksmith’s building.  Again, a Horde banner flies in the background.  Garrosh et al enter stage left, still walking in formation and snapping their fingers in unison.  Again they walk across the stage and exit, stage right.

Blackout.  This time, the blacksmith building has been replaced by a stable.  Garrosh et al enter stage right and walk past the stable, snapping their fingers – then, stopping their snapping, they turn and look back at the Alliance flag flying nearby.

From stage left, Varian Wrynn enters with a group of Alliance – including Jaina Proudmoore, Falstad Wildhammer, and Shandris Feathermoon.  The Horde group turns to see them, and the two sides stare each other down for a moment.

As hectic music fills the air, the two groups launch into combat and fight back and forth acrobatically as if dancing to the music.

GARROSH:  For the Horde!

ALL HORDE:  For the Horde!

VARIAN:  For the Alliance!

ALL ALLIANCE:  Alliance!

GARROSH:  Oh, fuck you, Varian!

VARIAN:  This time there’ll be no escape for you, Hellscream!

The two sides continue fighting back and forth in front of the stables.

GARROSH:  For fuck’s sake, you idiots, stop fighting in the middle and cap the damn flag!

VARIAN:  There’re all here!  The mine has to be open, some of you get over there!

LIADRIN:  Someone come with me to cover the blacksmith before they get there!

Most of the combatants rush off in different directions, until Garrosh and Faranell find themselves alone with Varian, Jaina, Shandris, and several anonymous Alliance soldiers.

GARROSH:  Okay, now to—

FARANELL:  Not liking the odds here, boss – lumber mill coming up!

Faranell grabs Garrosh and teleports them both away just as Varian starts to rush at them.  Varian looks around, then points at a red-shirted dwarf.

VARIAN:  You, fact checker!  Watch the stables while we circle around.  Let’s go!

Varian and the others rush off, leaving the Wildhammer Fact Checker standing alone by the flag.  After a moment, the dwarf lurches forward, stunned, as Garona unstealths behind him and starts stabbing him wildly with two daggers until he collapses to the ground.

GARONA:  <turning to the flag>  Lok’tar!

Blackout.  At the blacksmith, Liadrin and Mokvar fight Shandris and an Alliance soldier, pushing them back until they fight their way offstage to the right.

Blackout.  The landscape changes to that of the Isle of Conquest.  From stage right, Garrosh, Liadrin, and Dontrag enter, followed by Flastad driving a glaive, with Jaina casting fireballs in support.  The Alliance drive the Horde back until they exit to the left.

Blackout.  This time the surrounding scenery is that of Wintergrasp.  Varian and Jaina enter from stage left, chased by a demonlisher manned by Garrosh, Garona, and Utvoch, plus a catapult driven by Faranell.  The Horde continues chasing the Alliance until they all exit, stage right.

Blackout.  The scene changes to the Ring of Champions at the Argent Tournament grounds.  From opposite sides of the stage, the Horde and Alliance groups rush in and begin fighting across the ring, again moving in rhythm with the music.

After a few minutes of combat, Tirion Fordring enters, runs to the middle of the fray, and emits a burst of light from the Ashbringer that knocks back all the combatants.  Tirion looks back and forth at the two groups disapprovingly; they return to their feet and look back at him uneasily.

GARROSH:  Oh.  Hey.

VARIAN:  Greetings, Highlord.

TIRION:  If I might have a word, gentlemen.

GARROSH and VARIAN:  Oh no.

TIRION:  Much hope has been invested in an eventual peace between both your peoples, not least of all by the great archmage Rhonin, in his noble planning of the peace summit in Dalaran that draws near.  Indeed, my own friendship with your own kinsman Eitrigg, Warchief Hellscream, stands, if I might dare flatter myself, in illustration of the fellowship that might be wrought between two divergent cultures, and, indeed, worlds—

VARIAN:  Look, Tirion—

GARROSH:  Seriously, you don’t have to—

TIRION:  —one that you both may well benefit to heed.  For surely, two such mighty and wise leaders as yourselves cannot but recognize the merit in looking beyond these petty, mutually destructive squabbles—

GARROSH:  Dude, really, couldn’t you just let us slowly hack each other to death?

VARIAN:  It would be faster and more humane.

TIRION:  —in order to secure a lasting stability that would work to both your advantages.

Garrosh and Varian stare at Tirion in silence for several seconds.

GARROSH:  Were you done?

TIRION:  <sighs>  In any case… Under my roof, gentlemen, I trust you will behave yourselves.

VARIAN:  Fine, Tirion.  I’ll talk to you later.  Or try to.

Varian leaves, the other Alliance following close behind.  Tirion nods to Garrosh and likewise exits, in the opposite direction.

FARANELL:  Well that was arguably needlessly elaborate.

DONTRAG:  What’s the plan now, if I might inquire, oh great and nefarious Warchief?

FARANELL:  “Nefarious”…?

MOKVAR:  Just let him.

UTVOCH:  Indeed, sir, are you planning to go through with the peace summit?

GARROSH:  Dude, did you just meet me today or something?

FARANELL:  Not to mention it would have been a lot easier just to fly up here if that were the case, without having to find parking spaces for all the demolishers.

GARROSH:  The only peace I’m interested in with that Alliance scum is the one that will come after we’ve crushed them beneath our boots, and secured the supremacy of the Horde!

DONTRAG:  For the Horde!

GARONA:  For the Horde!

GARROSH:  FOR THE HORDE!

 

{HORDE SONG}

GARROSH:

When you’re the Horde
You stand mighty and strong!
If the humans come toward,
They won’t be standing long.

When you’re the Horde
You’re united and brave,
And across Kalimdor
Full dominion you crave. 

You’re not backing down,
You’re not intimidated!
You’re green and you’re brown.
(I hope not masticated.)
You’re unabated!

If you get bored
Find some humans to slay –
At the end of your sword
Is the end of their days!
Cause we’re the Horde,
Yeah – For the Horde!

Now I know Varian, and I’m damn sure he isn’t any more jazzed about this peace conference idea than I am.

LIADRIN:  I’ll bet you anything he’s only here at all because Jaina talked him into it.

MOKVAR:  Oh, yeah.  Talked.

GARROSH:  Fuck that shit, Mokvar.  That would require the asshole to be able to—

FARANELL:  I’m begging you not to finish that sentence.

DONTRAG:  So what are we going to do, great and mighty Warchief?

UTVOCH:  Are we skipping the peace summit?

GARROSH:  Oh no, we’re going to the summit.  See, Rhonin’s right about one thing – having our war with the Alliance drag on and on IS a waste.  For US, anyway.  The sooner it ends – with the Horde victorious – the sooner we can stop losing the lives of so many of our brave soldiers.

GARONA:  So what are you planning?

GARROSH:  We’ll go to Rhonin’s little conference – and I’m going to challenge Varian to a full-on confrontation.  One last glorious battle, to decide the fate of Kalimdor at least, and maybe the entire world, once and for all.  With victory for the Horde!

DONTRAG:  For the Horde!

UTVOCH:  For the Horde!

DONTRAG:

When you’re the Horde
You say “Lok’tar ogar!”
Hey, I’m singing a chord!
I can’t carry it far…

UTVOCH:

When you’re the Horde
All’s achievable now!
All the wins that we’ve scored,
Inconceivable—OW!!

ALL:

The Horde’s on the move,
Our hearts full of defiance!
We’ve nothing to prove
Once we slay the Alliance,
Down to a science!

Here comes the Horde
And here’s where we begin
Charging headlong to war
And you know that we’ll win.

Here comes the Horde
And the world’s gonna quake,
First we wiped out Southshore,
Then the Barrens we’ll take.

We’re drawin’ the line,
And if they don’t like hurtin’,
They’ll stay on their side,
And if they don’t, it’s certain
For them it’s curtains!

Here comes the Horde!
When we reach Dalaran
We won’t sign no accord—

UTVOCH:

Isn’t this Karazhan?

GARROSH:  <glaring>

Dontrag, I told
You
Once:
WORD
BAN.

All exit, and the lights fade.  After a few seconds, the lights gradually come up again, revealing a large room in the Violet Citadel of Dalaran.  Rhonin paces around the middle of the room.

From stage right, Garrosh enters, followed by Mokvar, Liadrin, Faranell, Garona, Dontrag, and Utvoch.

From stage left, the Alliance contingent enters: Varian Wrynn, Jaina Proudmoore, Tyrande Whisperwind, Prophet Velen, Falstad Wildhammer, Shandris Feathermoon, Master Mathias Shaw, and Deliana.

As both groups enter, Rhonin mills about greeting them.  No voices are audible, but it’s clear from the participants’ body language that they’re talking.  Occasionally Garrosh is seen smacking Dontrag and/or Utvoch in the head.

From opposite sides of the room, Mokvar and Deliana notice each other, then begin to walk toward each other slowly at center stage.  They meet in the middle of the room, just as, in the background, Rhonin waves Garrosh and Varian toward each other.

DELIANA:  Mokvar…?

MOKVAR:  I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, Liana…

In the background, Garrosh and Varian can be seen talking, growing increasingly animated, while Rhonin appears to try to calm them both down.

DELIANA:  I…I was worried about you.

MOKVAR:  <nods>  I’d heard you were in Ironforge.  I’m glad they didn’t get to you.

DELIANA:  When the spectral assassins started coming for the others, I recruited help to try to appease Valthalak.  I’d hoped they could do it before the assassins came for you, too.

MOKVAR:  I did the same.  Mostly to protect my own neck, but still.

DELIANA:  <chuckles>  Not for me?  And here I thought I was something special!

MOKVAR:  <laughs>  Now you sound like my wife.

In the background, Garrosh and Varian storm angrily away from each other, then pause, turn, charge at each other, and start fighting as most of the rest of their respective groups collapse in closer.

DELIANA:  Mokvar, something’s wrong.

MOKVAR:  <glances over his shoulder at the fight>  What was your first hint?

DELIANA:  No, I mean…in Ironforge.  A few days ago…I saw Theldren.

MOKVARWhat?

In the background, Rhonin jumps in close to Garrosh and Varian, then unleashes a burst of arcane energy that knocks them away from each other.

RHONIN:  <muted by distance but audible>  We have all lost a great deal in these conflicts – but we stand to lose everything if we do not stop fighting!

Mokvar and Deliana look back to each other; behind them, the two factions mill about on opposite sides of the room, watching each other guardedly.

MOKVAR:  Wait…you saw TheldrenAlive?

DELIANA:  <nods>  He came to see Moira Thaurissan.  I don’t know what about.

MOKVAR:  I can’t believe he’s still alive…

DELIANA:  It worries me.  If he came out of hiding…or if he’s decided Blackrock Depths isn’t safe enough anymore as a hiding place…

At the right side of the stage, Dontrag and Utvoch begin to look curiously at Mokvar, pointing at him and gesturing to each other as they appear to talk.  (Which they do.  Endlessly.  Because they’re Dontrag and Utvoch.)

MOKVAR:  Liana…I’ve seen something, too.

Mokvar waves her closer; Deliana leans in nearer to him.

DELIANA:  What?  What’s wrong?

MOKVAR:  It’s…him.  He’s back.  And he’s in Orgrimmar.

DELIANA:  Who…?  Not Valthalak?

MOKVAR:  <shaking head>  No, no, not Valthalak, but—

DELIANA:  <eyes going wide>  Oh…ohh…oh no, no…

To the side, Dontrag and Utvoch are joined by Garrosh.

UTVOCH:  <aside>  Warchief?  What’s going on with Mokvar?

DONTRAG:  <aside>  He seems to be on pretty…um…good terms with that human.

GARROSH:  <aside>  Yeah…he does, doesn’t he…

Deliana looks around nervously.

DELIANA:  Mokvar, why would he be in Orgrimmar?  What is he doing there?

MOKVAR:  Bending the Warchief’s ear, mostly…

DELIANA:  He…?  Oh no…Mokvar…

GARROSH:  <aside>  Seriously, wasn’t it enough that Thrall had that incomprehensible thing for Jaina?  Is this going to be some new thing?

DONTRAG:  <aside>  Well, begging your pardon, most highly annoyable and punch-titious sir, she…well, she does have nice legs for a human.

UTVOCH:  <aside>  Eh, doesn’t really do much for me.

DONTRAG:  <aside>  No, because she doesn’t have hooves, Ut.

DELIANA:  Mokvar, what are we going to do?

MOKVAR:  I don’t know.  He’s managed to get himself into Garrosh’s inner circle somehow.  He’s practically become Garrosh’s inner circle.  I don’t know if he’s even touchable at this point.

Garona joins Garrosh, Dontrag, and Utvoch.

GARONA:  <aside>  What are we all looking at?

DONTRAG:  <aside>  Mokvar putting the moves on some human, we think.

GARONA:  <aside>  Ugh, really?  Why do you orc men always seem to go after everything but orc women?

GARROSH:  <aside>  You mean based on the example of an orc woman we have on hand?

DELIANA:  Mokvar…I’ll try to see if I can learn anything.

MOKVAR:  How?

DELIANABodley.  I think I may still be able to reach his ghost…

MOKVAR:  I’ll see if I can dig up anything on my end.  When should we meet again?

DELIANA:  Tomorrow?  You know where…

MOKVAR:  <nods>  Be careful.

DELIANA:  You too.

Mokvar and Deliana walk cautiously back to their respective sides of the room.  The Alliance contingent begins to leave, while Mokvar appears to talk distractedly with Liadrin and Faranell.

GARROSH:  I don’t like the looks of this fraternizing with the enemy at all…

MOKVAR:  <aside>  I’ll talk to you later, Edwin.  I think I need a little air.

The lights dim on all but Mokvar as he walks away from the others and leaves.  He steps offstage for a moment, then reenters; a spotlight follows him around the stage as he wanders through Dalaran.

 

{LIANA}

MOKVAR:

A name I never thought I’d hear again…
(Liana, Liana, Liana, Liana)
Since we fled long ago from the heart of a dragon’s den…
(Liana, Liana, Liana, Liana)

Liana!
I saw her again: Deliana.
But now we are aghast:
A shadow of the past
Is here.

Liana!
Stay safe, my old friend Deliana.
We may have just delayed
The bane of the Veiled Blade,
I fear.

Liana!
Go and seek out the ghost of Bodley,
While I question my contacts broadly.
Liana,
This all played out oddly.
Liana, Liana, Liana, Liana, Liana,
Liana, Liana, Liana, Liana, Liana.
All our efforts we’d best redouble:
We might be in a whole lot of trouble.
Liana,
WTB pally bubble…
Liana.

A name I never thought I’d hear again…
Liana.

Blackout.  At Valiance Keep, Varian and the other Alliance members enter.

JAINA:  Are you really going to go through with this?

VARIAN:  Did I look like I was joking when I agreed to it, Jaina?

JAINA:  But one fight to determine the future of a whole continent?

SHANDRIS:  It does sound like quite the gamble, Highness.

VARIAN:  You sound like you don’t have faith in my chances against Garrosh, Shandris.

SHANDRIS:  Hellscream does not have the best track record with regard to honorable combat, Highness.

VARIAN:  Hence why I insisted we hold the duel in a setting where we can keep a close eye on him.

FALSTAD:  He’ll be tryin’ somethin’ fer sure, Yer Highness, just ye watch.

VARIAN:  At least in our own territory, we won’t have to worry as much about the place swarming with orcs.

VELEN:  Hang on – swarming with orcs?  That sounds like something the Legion would do!  The Legion isn’t back, is it?

VARIAN:  <rubbing forehead>  No, Velen, the Legion isn’t back.

VELEN:  You’d tell me, right?  I need time to pack.

VARIAN:  Believe me, the last thing I would ever do is get in the way of you packing.

JAINA:  Speaking of which, if you do lose, do you really plan for us to…go through with it?

VARIAN:  I made an agreement, Jaina: one battle, leader against leader, for control of Kalimdor, once and for all.  I intend to honor it.

TYRANDE:  I don’t much like this business of you gambling with the lands my people have called home for millennia.

VARIAN:  Oh, hush, Tyrande.

TYRANDE:  …

SHANDRIS:  Oh no he didn’t.

TYRANDE:  You are not nearly hot enough to get away with talking to me like that!

VARIANThe point is, I don’t intend to lose.  And then you’ll be happy I took up the challenge, when the forests of Ashenvale are no longer crawling with orcs.

VELEN:  Crawling with orcs!  That’s it, not taking any chances – I’m out!  Good luck, people.

Velen exits.

VARIAN:  <sighs>  Well, they don’t call him Bailin’ Velen for nothing, I suppose.

TYRANDE:  Wanting the orcs out is all well and good, but taking such an all-or-nothing risk…

SHAW:  Really, I don’t see what you’re so worried about.  I mean…it’s just Kalimdor.

TYRANDE:  Umm…what?

VARIAN:  Seriously.

SHANDRIS:  You…can’t be serious.

JAINA:  You realize they’ve both lived there for thousands of years, right?

FALSTAD:  Maybe ye could use a change o’ scenery, then.

VARIAN:  I’m not disputing it would be a loss, but it’s not as if there’s a lot over there that’s irreplaceable…

TYRANDE:  Are you not familiar with the World Tree?

SHAW:  The one that burned with Archimonde and…hang on…nothing happened?

JAINA:  I…don’t believe you three.

VARIAN:  Oh, don’t worry about Jaina.  She grew up in Kul Tiras and Dalaran but then she decided to go move into her own place and forget her old home.

JAINA:  Not true!  I remember it well.

 

{KALIMDOR}

JAINA:

Eastern Kingdoms:
A lovely visit.
I wouldn’t ever want to live it.
Greatest city there you found
Pulled itself out of the ground –
Dalaran’d rather float around!
Half the mountains burning.
Undead plague is churning.
I’ll take kingdom Theramore
(Well, till it ain’t there no more).

JAINA, TYRANDE, and SHANDRIS:

I like to be here in Kalimdor.
So much to see here in Kalimdor.
Make the orcs flee out of Kalimdor!

VARIAN:

Horde burning trees there in Kalimdor.

JAINA:

Winterspring sledding is so fun!

SHAW:

Look for a flight path – there ain’t none!

SHANDRIS:

Vast tranquil plains under blue sky.

VARIAN:

Barrens chat: listen once, you’ll cry.

JAINA:

Earn gold in Ratchet in Kalimdor.

FALSTAD:

Goblins will snatch it in Kalimdor!

TYRANDE:

Draenei chose to land in Kalimdor.

In the background, the Exodar flies by.

VARIAN:  <pointing a thumb at the ship>

Velen just abandoned Kalimdor.

TYRANDE:

Historic places in Felwood.

VARIAN:

Illidan screwed that up real good.

JAINA:

Caverns of Time sifting sand, ha!

SHAW:

One slip and you’re your own grandma.

SHANDRIS:

Ysera greets you in Kalimdor!

FALSTAD:

Devilsaurs eat you in Kalimdor!

TYRANDE:

Night elves defiant in Kalimdor.

VARIAN:

Roaches are giant in Kalimdor.

JAINA:

Out to the forests – a fun romp!

SHAW:

Forests?  You’re stuck in a damn swamp!

TYRANDE:

Titan creations in Uldum.

FALSTAD:

Those almost made the world go boom.

VARIAN:

So much frustration in Kalimdor.
Steak rules a nation in Kalimdor.
All your flirtation in Kalimdor!

JAINA:  <glares and draws a dagger>

You risk castration in Kalimdor.

VARIAN:

You should come back to Kul Tiras.

SHANDRIS:

Not on the map – do they fear us?

VARIAN:

Garrosh will strike if you don’t fly.

JAINA:

Yeah, sure, I’d like to see him try.

Blackout.  The stage is illuminated again, gradually, by fiery light, revealing the interior of Blackrock Mountain.  Mokvar enters, stage left, and walks amid the rubble and stone, looking around cautiously.

The stage lights become brighter as Mokvar nears center stage, illuminating, above, the balcony leading to Blackrock Spire.  From the entrance to the spire, Deliana enters, looking down.

DELIANA:  Mokvar!

MOKVAR:  <looking up>  Liana!  Are you all right up there?

DELIANA:  Other than a few bruises from the fifteen times I tried to hop over to this blasted balcony and missed?  Peachy.

MOKVAR:  Yeah, I’m not taking my chances.  Knowing my luck I’m liable to fall in the lava.

DELIANA:  Does anyone know you’re here?

MOKVAR:  No.  You can tell that by the fact that I am here, and not dead.

DELIANA:  <nods>  I had to sneak out as well… I suspect Varian would be none too pleased if he knew I was meeting you.

MOKVAR:  I’m pretty sure “none too pleased” would be the best case scenario with Garrosh.

DELIANA:  Have you found out anything?

MOKVAR:  Nothing very much.  I’ve had to be fairly careful with my asking around, so I haven’t been able to dig as much as I’d like.  I know Malkorok turned up in Orgrimmar some months ago, and rose through the ranks quickly.  But nobody seems to know where he came from.  Well, other than the obvious.

DELIANA:  <nods>  I can’t understand how he won Garrosh’ trust so quickly.

MOKVAR:  How did he win Rend’s?

DELIANA:  And how did that work out?

MOKVAR:  I know…  What about you?  Were you able to…?

DELIANA:  Yes…  <sighs>

MOKVAR:  The fact that you’re stopping there tells me it’s bad news.

DELIANA:  Not much to go on, but it doesn’t sound good.  I was only able to make contact briefly, but…there have been spectral assassins here.  Leaving the spire.  For the first time in years…

MOKVAR:  There’s…about half a dozen ways to account for that, and none of them are good.

DELIANA:  I know.

MOKVAR:  Anything else?

DELIANA:  That’s it so far.  <sigh>  I’d really hoped this was over years ago.

MOKVAR:  So did I.

DELIANA:  I suppose you reap what you sow, though, don’t you…

MOKVAR:  Yeah…  Well, what’s done is done.  Nothing to be done about it now.

DELIANA:  I know.  Still, I wish I could just go back in time sometimes.

MOKVAR:  No, you don’t.  Trust me.  It’s more headaches than it’s worth.

DELIANA:  What do we do now?

MOKVAR:  I’ll try to call in a few more of my contacts…I’ve got a few people still who owe me favors.  Check around too, if you can…

DELIANA:  I will.  I’ll find a way to contact you one way or another in the next day or two.

MOKVAR:  Be careful.  If the wrong people find out what we’re doing, they’re not going to care what it is we’re actually talking about.

DELIANA:  I know.  Watch out for yourself, Mokvar.

MOKVAR:  Have been for years.  Stay safe, Liana.

Liana nods, then waves, and disappears into the spire doorway.  Mokvar watches her go, looks around uneasily, and exits, stage right.

After Mokvar leaves the stage, a low whooshing sound is heard.  To the left side of the stage, near one of the large stone blocks, Garona unstealths.  She peers across the stage to the right side, a look of concern on her face, then stealths again.

The curtain closes.

 

{TO BE CONTINUED IN ACT 2}

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3 Responses to “West Azeroth Story”

  1. I’m going to spend the rest of the day giggling over the Exodar flying by in the background. EPIC VERSE .. er .. song.

  2. Bailin’ Velen.
    That is all.

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