Archive for June, 2012

It’s not easy being hexed

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 29, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

So credit where it’s due.  Mokvar came up with a winner of an idea to kill two birds with one stone.  Check this out: the reason he wanted The Noz and Chromie and what’s-her-face to enhance his hex spell is so he could use it on the YOUNG version of Faranell!  Now I know what you’re thinking – what the hell good does THAT do?  Well stay with me.

Liadrin stayed downstairs in the common room to watch for the Faranell brothers.  While she was there she got into a little small talk with Kelly, did a little smoothing over after our…um…incident.  You know, checking on how he was feeling since he seemed tired and delusional and shit, and reassuring him he didn’t have to worry about any livestock issues with us.  Our Faranell remembered that he and his brother had been out walking earlier in the day, and he gave us a ballpark figure on when they would be getting back.  More importantly, he remembered a window we would have to make our move.

Edwin and Patrick – the Faranells of this time period – came wandering into the inn right on schedule, and as they were making their way to the stairs, Kelly called to Patrick that a letter had been delivered for him.  Patrick went over to the counter to pick it up, and while he was reading the letter, Edwin stood around waiting for him at the base of the stairs.

That was our chance.  Mokvar had been waiting at the top of the stairs, and once Edwin was in position, Mokvar ran down to the first landing.  While Patrick was too busy going over his letter to pay attention to anything else, Mokvar got off his hex on Edwin, and POOF, frog.

As soon as the hex was cast, OUR Edwin ran down the stairs to step in where his younger self had been standing.  Mokvar and I both scrambled around like idiots trying to catch frog-Edwin, but after a few seconds, Patrick finished with his letter and looked back over our way, so Mokvar and Faranell started making like they were having a conversation at the base of the stairs, while I grabbed the frog and ran upstairs.

All of this was pretty much according to plan.  Mokvar had a brainstorm on a couple of levels with this scheme: first of all, if we keep younger Edwin hexed, and sub in our Edwin, that makes the problem of him accidentally crossing paths with himself way easier to keep under control.  And since older Edwin remembers everything he was supposed to have done and said right now – what with his supposed super-memory – he can just fill in for himself.  In the process, we free ourselves up a LOT to come and go as we need to, without worrying about running into Kel’Thuzad or Helcular on the one side or the Faranell brothers on the other.  And so we decided right off the top that once we made the switch, Edwin would introduce Mokvar to his brother as an old friend from Brill, just like he did with Kel’Thuzad, so we don’t have to be looking over our shoulders or juggling multiple cover stories.  Granted, Patrick had already met Mokvar once by this point, but that’s easy enough to play off as coincidence.

So as soon as Patrick spotted Mokvar “chatting” with his brother, they had their “oh hey, you know this guy too?” exchange, they all got to talking, and Mokvar “recognized” Liadrin and brought her in, so now everybody knows everybody mostly and we can stop fucking tiptoeing around like a teenager getting home three hours past curfew and sneaking a rebellious draenei girl into his room past his lightly sleeping Greatmother parents.  I mean who hasn’t been there, amirite?

So stop staring at me like that and just read the damn transcript.

 

LIADRIN:  So…Edwin – Edwin, isn’t it? – where did you say you were from?  Andorhal?

EDWIN:  No, that was Patrick.  I mean, Patrick’s the one from Andorhal, but yes, I’m Edwin.  I live up in Dalaran.

LIADRIN:  Ahh, it must be beautiful there.

PATRICK:  Have you ever been?

LIADRIN:  Not for quite some time.

PATRICK:  It’s definitely worth a visit if you get the chance.

LIADRIN:  So what brings you two down here?  I would think you’d have much more interesting things to do in Dalaran.

EDWIN:  Well, it’s nice to have a change of pace sometimes…

PATRICK:  In my case, I wanted to come visit Edwin for a bit before I head off to study in Silvermoon.

MOKVAR:  Ah okay.

LIADRIN:  I see.  What are you going to be studying?

PATRICK:  Alchemy, same as Edwin here.

EDWIN:  Well, except for how you’ve always been much better at it.

PATRICK:  Mostly alchemy, at least.  I’d like to work some more on the sciences in general.

Kelly brings several plates of food to the table.  Edwin starts in eating immediately, looking at a few bites thoughtfully while still holding them on his fork.

LIADRIN:  Thank you, Mr. Kelly.

MOKVAR:  Thanks.

EDWIN:  So, Patrick…

PATRICK:  Mmhmm?

Edwin stares at his food a moment before continuing haltingly.

EDWIN:  Who was…well…what was that letter you got?

PATRICK:  Oh, that?  Just an update from Emily.  Good news.  She just arrived and she’s getting settled in.

LIADRIN:  Emily?

EDWIN:  <gesturing to Liadrin matter-of-factly without looking up>  Patrick’s wife.

LIADRIN:  Oh, I didn’t know you were married.

MOKVAR:  Condolences.

LIADRIN:  Mokv—Movarius.

PATRICK:  <nodding>  Almost two years now.

LIADRIN:  You said she’s getting settled in – I assume she’s gone on ahead to Silvermoon?

Edwin shakes his head while poking at his food.

PATRICK:  Oh, no, she isn’t coming to Silvermoon too.  It’s just me going there.

LIADRIN:  Oh?  Why is that?

PATRICK:  Well, housing in Silvermoon isn’t cheap, especially for outsiders, and graduate students aren’t exactly rolling in money.

MOKVAR:  You’re going to be getting a doctorate, right?

PATRICK:  Cross fingers.

EDWIN:  You know you’ll be running the place within a semester, professor.

PATRICK:  <chuckles>  Whatever you say, uncle.  At any rate… Financially the easiest thing will be for me to stay in student housing while I’m there, and that’s not exactly luxurious.  So Emily’s going to stay with family while I’m studying.

EDWIN:  In Stratholme.

MOKVAR:  Stra— Oh.  It’s…nice there.

LIADRIN:  Yes… I, um, I suppose it’s close enough that you could still visit each other…

EDWIN:  I keep telling you, it’s silly to live apart for that long.  It’s not like you’re talking about just a couple months.

PATRICK:  Yes, yes, I know, how many times to we have to go through this?

LIADRIN:  I suppose it’s a fair point.  It does mean you’ll be apart for a few years at least.

PATRICK:  <shrugs>  I’m trying to think of it that this way – I’ll have that much more incentive to stay focused on my work and get finished quickly.  No outside distractions, just me and my research, and maybe in the process I can get done faster and start get established.

EDWIN:  Fine, don’t listen.

PATRICK:  I’d think you’d like the prospect of us stepping up the schedule, uncle.

MOKVAR:  Say…maybe I’m missing something, but why do you keep calling him that?  He’s your brother, isn’t he?

PATRICK:  Well, that’s what our mother keeps saying.  I don’t know if I’m convinced.  <smirks at Edwin for a moment>  Oh come on, smile a little.

EDWIN:  <still not looking up>  “Uncle” is just this little nickname Patrick’s had for me the last couple years.

PATRICK:  Basically as long as Emily and I have been talking about having a family.  My dear, morose brother here, kid-hater though he is, seems to like the prospect of being an uncle.

EDWIN:  I don’t hate kids.  <glances toward the upstairs>  Well, I don’t hate most kids.

LIADRIN:  Ah… So you were—are planning to have children, then, Patrick…

PATRICK:  <nods>  Hopefully.  Between you, me, and the walls, I’d rather like to have a couple sons.  <chuckles, then to Edwin>  Don’t let Emily hear that, I think she’d really like a little girl.  But I remember how much Dad seemed to enjoy himself with us.  Then again, he liked children.

EDWIN:  I like children perfectly well.  Just other people’s children.  I can play with them and be the cool uncle and all of that, and then give them back and be done without having to deal with the crying and the soiling themselves and the stabbing me in my sleep when they’re sixteen.

PATRICK:  Hence why you should be happy about me getting done with my degree sooner rather than later, uncle.

MOKVAR:  So you’re wanting to hold off on the family until after you’re done with your degree.

PATRICK:  It would be kind of crazy to do otherwise, really.  If we start having kids while I’m still working, either I’ll end up having a whole slew of new distractions from finishing with school, or I’d end up sticking poor Emily with all the work of taking care of them.  That would probably be the death of me.

Edwin cringes a little at the last sentence, which Liadrin seems to notice with concern.

LIADRIN:  Well then…I’m sure you know what’s best for you and your wife, Patrick…

PATRICK:  It’ll all work out in the end, I’m sure.  Anyway, I should write her a quick note back.  Shouldn’t you be going to see your Kirin Tor friend anyway, Edwin?

EDWIN:  My who?

PATRICK:  That fellow from Dalaran you’ve been taking those walks with.  Didn’t you say he wanted to talk with you about something else today?

EDWIN:  Did he?  That doesn’t… I mean, yes, yes I suppose so…

PATRICK:  I’ll be upstairs.  <stands up>  Movarius, good seeing you again… Lia, nice to meet you.

LIADRIN:  You as well, Patrick.

MOKVAR:  Take it easy, Patrick.

Patrick gives everyone a nod and wanders back up the stairs.

LIADRIN:  I’m sorry, Faranell.  I know this can’t be easy for you.

EDWIN:  Yeah, well…

MOKVAR:  I guess we should let you go do whatever you need to do with Kel’Thuzad…

EDWIN:  That’s the thing.  I shouldn’t be doing anything with him.

LIADRIN:  What do you mean?

EDWIN:  I remembered talking to Patrick about Emily moving to Stratholme when the letter arrived for him.  I remember pretty much every other conversation I had with him the rest of the way.  But I don’t remember seeing Kel’Thuzad again from this point.

MOKVAR:  Is that just another one of those things you seem to forget about?

EDWIN:  No, you’re not getting it.  It’s not that I might have seen him and I’ve forgotten.  I can remember every single thing I did the rest of the day today, and tomorrow, and the rest of this week.  I didn’t go to see Kel’Thuzad.  Yesterday was the last time I saw him for…well for weeks, actually.  There wasn’t any business about him wanting to see me again.

LIADRIN:  That’s…rather troubling.

EDWIN:  Nozdormu was right this morning.  Something’s going wrong with the timeline.  Somehow, something’s already changed because of us being here.

 

Because my life isn’t delightful enough right now, right?

Meanwhile, while all this happy news was happening, I was bringing frog-Edwin upstairs for the other part of Mokvar’s plan.  Here’s where the dude really got thinking outside the box.  He had figured, while we have this version of Faranell all frogged up, we can use him to kill two birds with one stone, because what better way to distract a snot-nosed kid from a shiny magic crystal that just sits there looking glowy, than with a real life hoppy potential pet?  Not that the little punk is going to KEEP Faranell forever, obviously, but if we give him the frog, Mokvar figures that should keep him distracted long enough for us to find where he has the chameleon shard, or maybe do a trade or something.  Anyway, it’s a possible way in without, you know, having to beat up a little kid.  Which I still say Chromie seemed a little creepy eager to do, gotta tell you.

So anyway, I brought the frog upstairs to see if we could do the switch, only Taelan was actually off in one of the rooms with Tirion.  So no opening to make the move there.  We’ll have to keep an eye out and try to jump in when we get the chance.  Probably will assign Mokvar to this job, since he can refresh the hex every so often if he needs to.  In the meantime, Faranell and Liadrin and I can be getting set for Isilien tonight.  With any luck things will start falling in our direction.  Not that we’ve had much luck so far, but at this point you have to figure the law of averages is starting to owe us.

Past imperfect

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 28, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

So we finally have things in motion to find out just what Isilien and Doan wind up doing with the light crystal.  We’re hoping we can stay close to whatever we’re doing, and then get a read on whatever kind of magic they end up using the create the anti-plague effect.  To that end, we brought a special magic component – something called a chameleon shard.  When it’s put in close proximity to a magically-charged object or field, it attunes itself to it and basically recreates the magic properties inside its own…crystalline…matrix, I think it is?  Anyway, point is, it sucks up a carbon copy of the magic close to it and locks it up so we can take it with us without it going kablooey, and once we have THAT done at the original, untriggered source of this thing, we should be able to use it to create a counter-effect.

Which leads us to the latest meeting of the minds from this morning…

 

MOKVAR:  So what’s the game plan for tonight?

GARROSH:  Isilien said we should pay him a visit after dark tonight.  By that point, with any luck, he’ll have finished whatever he’s been working on with Doan, and we can get a look at the end results.

MOKVAR:  What if it’s still a work in progress?

GARROSH:  Well, then I guess we get to follow the ongoing work.

FARANELL:  That could end up being helpful in itself.  Depending on just what they’re doing, watching them actually formulating it might make it easier to determine a way to counter it.

MOKVAR:  One thing, though.  If you’re there, and they’re still working on it, won’t they want you guys to help them with it?

GARROSH:  Probably.

MOKVAR:  Won’t that be a problem?  I mean, I’m guessing we weren’t supposed to create the problem we came back in time to try to solve.

LIADRIN:  Maybe.  Maybe not.  For all we know, we were always part of the creation of this thing.

GARROSH:  Either way, we can try to keep our help to a minimum, at least.

LIADRIN:  It shouldn’t be terribly difficult to create the appearance of helping without interfering too much.  Just listen to what they’re already thinking, then nudge them further in that direction without really feeding them any ideas they wouldn’t have come to regardless.

GARROSH:  Also, Mokvar, I’m going to have you stay back for this one.  You and Utvoch wait here in the room, or hang out downstairs if it looks clear, but I’m just going to go with Liadrin and Faranell, since they’re the ones who really need to check on this thing up close.

MOKVAR:  Whatever you say, chief.

LIADRIN:  Is there anything else we need to have in place before we go?

GARROSH:  The only other thing is having the chameleon shard ready, in case they manage to get their little doohickey completely done tonight.

FARANELL:  You’ve been holding it, haven’t you, Utvoch?  I should probably give it a few arcane charges before we go, to have it warmed up just in case.

UTVOCH:  Yeah, I’ve got it here.

Utvoch sets down his pack and starts digging through it.

MOKVAR:  Say, Garrosh, I just realized, are you sure you don’t want me coming tonight to take notes?

GARROSH:  <shakes head>  Isilien was already less than thrilled about bringing in more people, and Doan didn’t seem like he’s going to be very friendly.  I don’t want to push my luck inviting more people than necessary to the party, much less setting off any bells by having someone hanging around writing down everything everyone says.

MOKVAR:  Yeah, true.  I was just thinking this might be the part of the trip where we’d especially like to keep a record of things.

LIADRIN:  I can always write it up after we’re done, as well.  I do agree it’s to our benefit to record as much of this as possible, especially in case we need to keep our stories straight for timeline purposes.

FARANELL:  I can help with that when you’re working on it.  I have an eidetic memory, so I should be able to cover most of what ends up being said.

UTVOCH:  <still rifling around in his pack>  Wait, you dead what?

FARANELL:  No, eidetic.

LIADRIN:  It means a photographic memory.

UTVOCH:  Oh.  What’s photographic?

GARROSH:  Hold on.  You have an eidetic memory?

FARANELL:  Yeah.  I was tested for it as a kid and everything.  <chuckles>  Only reason Patrick didn’t wind up three grades ahead of me.

GARROSH:  So can I ask you something?

FARANELL:  Yes?

GARROSH:  If you’re supposed to have this uber-memory, how come you’re always forgetting shit?

MOKVAR:  You do seem pretty forgetful sometimes.

FARANELL:  I don’t know why people keep saying that.

GARROSH:  Because it’s true?

FARANELL:  I’ll have you know, I can recite back to you every book I’ve read in the last five years.

LIADRIN:  Well, it might just be that he has excellent recall of specific sights and sounds, or language?  But broader events slip his memory sometimes?

FARANELL:  “Our first day went as well as one can expect first days to go.  Most of our time was preoccupied with making the necessary arrangements to establish a base camp.  I located an ideal setting by a freshwater river inlet.  Judging by the old, abandoned docks nearby, this site was inhabited sometime ago.  As for the original inhabitants, only time can tell that tale.”  Just saying.

GARROSH:  Okay, fine, you have a perfect memory except for when you don’t.  Go ahead and help Liadrin with the recordkeeping if it makes you happy.

UTVOCH:  So, um, guys?  I think we have a problem.

MOKVAR:  Oh no.

FARANELL:  Here we go.

GARROSH:  What is it?

UTVOCH:  Well, um…I don’t think the shard is here.

LIADRIN:  That’s kind of bad.

GARROSH:  What.  Do you mean.  The shard.  Isn’t HERE?

UTVOCH:  I don’t know, I was keeping it in my pack, only it’s not here now…

FARANELL:  Let me see that.

Faranell grabs the pack from Utvoch and starts sifting through its contents, tossing assorted pieces of junk onto the floor.

GARROSH:  Fucking hell, Utvoch, you had ONE FUCKING JOB on this trip…

FARANELL:  Nope…nope… No – for goodness’ sake, man, how many comic books do you need?

LIADRIN:  Could someone have gotten to it while you were away from the room or some such?

UTVOCH:  No, it’s been in that pack since we got here, and I’ve kept the pack with me the entire time.

MOKVAR:  You’re sure you didn’t leave it alone around someone?

UTVOCH:  Of course I didn’t, what do you think I’m stupid or something?

Everyone looks around at each other for a moment.

GARROSH:  You know what?  Any other time that would have been really funny, but right now I’m not in the fucking mood.

FARANELL:  <handing the pack brusquely back to Utvoch>  Well, that settles it.  It’s definitely not here.

UTVOCH:  <looking through pack again>  Hey, I had a Nutterbar in here that’s gone, too.

MOKVAR:  Utvoch, nobody cares about your stupid candy bar.

GARROSH:  Hang on.

LIADRIN:  Oh no.

GARROSH:  Utvoch, you’re SURE you’ve kept that pack with you the whole time we’ve been in Southshore?

UTVOCH:  Positive.

GARROSH:  <rubbing his head>  Yeah… So…

FARANELL:  Oh…no.

GARROSH:  Shiny, gimmicky-looking crystal, AND a candy bar missing, AND he’s been spending almost all his time doing what…?

LIADRIN:  <sighs>  By the Light, Utvoch…

UTVOCH:  Spending all my time…?  Oh CRAP, you think the kid took it?

GARROSH:  Tirion’s brat is the only person you’ve been around for any length of time since we’ve been here.  Unless you think THRALL made off with it?

UTVOCH:  Do you think Thrall would have taken—OWW!

MOKVAR:  Hey, um, why is there all this smoke in here all of sudden?

GARROSH:  Of COURSE Thrall wouldn’t have taken it!

LIADRIN:  There isn’t something burning, is there?

FARANELL:  No, this isn’t ffrroomm aa ffiirree.

MOKVAR:  Wwhhyy aarree yyoouu ttaallkkiinngg ssoo ssllooww—oohh, nneevveerr mmiinndd…

GARROSH:  OOhh bbooyyy.  HHHeeerrreee wwweee gggooo aaagggaaaiiinnn….

The smoke thickens as Soridormi and Chromie teleport into the room, flanking the door.  A few seconds later, Nozdormu strolls pimps [Word choice revised at the Warchief’s insistence. –Mkvr., ed.] into the room in slow motion.

NOZDORMU:  Greetings, Warchief.

CHROMIE:  Hiya, guys!

GARROSH:  Hey—  <waves his hand around in front of his face for a moment to see if it’s moving at normal speed>  Okay, that’s better.  Hey Noz.

MOKVAR:  Is that really necessary?

NOZDORMU:  Is what really necessary?

Soridormi, standing behind Nozdormu, shakes her head vigorously while waving one hand side to side.

MOKVAR:  Never mind.

CHROMIE:  <giggles>

GARROSH:  So I’m guessing this isn’t just a social call.

NOZDORMU:  Indeed, Warchief.

SORIDORMI:  We’re concerned that something may be amiss with your mission.

FARANELL:  Oh, you have no idea.

NOZDORMU:  I’ve detected a disturbance in the timeline, located roughly around this point.  At this stage it’s difficult for me to pinpoint its origin exactly; whatever the key events are, I suspect they’re still in their early stages of unfolding, and without my Aspect powers I find my ability to see through the cracks in the timeline more limited than they were.  Nevertheless, something in the proper progression of these events has been disrupted.

MOKVAR:  Yeah, um…

GARROSH:  About that.

FARANELL:  Really?  So we traveled back ten years, got a bunch of Alliance from the future killed in the past, there’s two copies of me running around within like ten yards of each other, we’ve dropped a highly sensitive and powerful magical attunement device into the hands of a kid who’s going to grow up to be a xenophobic nutjob—

CHROMIE:  You really want to get that back pronto, by the way.

FARANELL:  —and  now you’re telling us that something has been disrupted in the timeline?  Imagine my astonishment.

NOZDORMU:  You know, it’s not too late for me to skip back about thirty years and arrange for a certain someone never to have been born.

GARROSH:  At the rate this is going, could you get me too on the way back?

MOKVAR:  Wouldn’t it be better just to erase Utvoch?

GARROSH:  You know what?  Good call.  Let’s go with that instead.

UTVOCH:  Wait, what?  He’s going to do what to me?

GARROSH:  Shouldn’t you be busy right now THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE?

UTVOCH:  Sorry, sir.

NOZDORMU:  At…any rate.

SORIDORMI:  I wish we could give you more specific information, but unfortunately…

NOZDORMU:  All I can really tell you is that something is amiss, but still very much in flux.  You need to take extreme care not to cause any further disturbances in the events of this time, and get back to your own time as quickly as possible.

FARANELL:  So, in other words, don’t mess up.  Thanks, that helps a lot.

NOZDORMU:  Or I could fast-forward you up to the day of your death.  That could work too, you know.

FARANELL:  Already been there, actually.

NOZDORMU:  Would you like a return trip?

SORIDORMI:  <giving Nozdormu a gentle tug on the shoulder>  We…know this is a hectic and confusing time for you all.  We simply mean to impress upon you the importance of the utmost caution.

GARROSH:  Believe me, nobody wants to find the source of that anti-plague thing and get out of here without a fuss more than me.

LIADRIN:  And by the looks of it, I’d say we’re not far off.

UTVOCH:  Can I ask a stupid question?

GARROSH:  Like nobody I’ve ever met.

UTVOCH:  Huh?

GARROSH:  Never mind.  Ask.

UTVOCH:  Well okay, you guys are going to try to see what caused that thing that’s killing the undead, right?

GARROSH:  Only a week in and you’ve already pieced that together, huh?  You’re getting sharp on me.

FARANELL:  In other words, yes.

UTVOCH:  Well then, begging your pardon, Warchief, not to question your great and imperious judgment, but while we’re here, couldn’t we just stop those guys from doing it in the first place?

LIADRIN, NOZDORMU, and SORIDORMI:  <overlapping>  No.

UTVOCH:  Oh.  Why not?

LIADRIN:  Paradoxes.

UTVOCH:  Wait, parrot oxes?  You mean we’ll create some weird new animal or something?

CHROMIE:  Oi, this one’s a shitake mushroom for brains…

UTVOCH:  Actually, you know, parrot oxes could be kind of cool…

LIADRIN:  No.  Paradoxes.  If we prevent the anti-plague from being created in the past, when we get to the future, the anti-plague won’t exist, but then there won’t be a reason for us to come to the past anymore, so we won’t, so then the anti-plague will be created, and so forth, in an endless self-canceling loop.

CHROMIE:  See, see, I told you I liked her!

UTVOCH:  …So you could have the parrot oxes plowing the fields, but while they’re doing that they could talk, and that would probably make the work go faster since I bet working in the fields for hours gets pretty boring, and—

Utvoch finds himself unable to finish his sentence, as his train of thought is interrupted by his unplanned transformation into a sheep.

FARANELL:  Okay.  That’s enough from him.

LIADRIN:  Ha!  You polymorphed him?

GARROSH:  Dude, that’s…that’s just…I don’t even have a word for how much awesome that is.

UTVOCH:  <bleats>

MOKVAR:  Hmm, you know, that’s giving me an idea…

NOZDORMU:  At this point I suppose we should leave you to your work…

CHROMIE:  You definitely want to work on getting that shard thingy back fast.

LIADRIN:  I would imagine Tirion would be a fairly strict father.  I suppose if we told him we think his son might have stolen something, he would—

GARROSH:  Maybe make the kid give it back, yeah, and maybe ask “Oh, so what is this thing my kid swiped?  Oh, a magical shard, what for?”  And maybe ask Doan about it, who almost definitely is going to know his chameleon shards.  And maybe Tirion gets curious about what these people hanging out with Isilien have one of THOSE for…

LIADRIN:  Hmm, true, probably too risky, I suppose…

CHROMIE:  Oh feldercarb, you people need to stop dancing around it!  Just grab the kid and steal it back!  What’s he going to do, stop you?  He’s a kid!

UTVOCH:  <bleats>

FARANELL:  Well, to be fair, he could call his fairly powerful, well-connected paladin dad, who we absolutely can’t harm while we’re here, so…

CHROMIE:  Fine, fine, so you just keep him incapacitated while you steal it!  You can…well jiminy, Faranell could sheep him just like Utvoch…

UTVOCH:  <bleats>

CHROMIE:  Or you could hex him, or, I don’t care, Throwdown or Repentance, or… flipping flux capacitor, you’ve got a room full of crowd control here, do you really need me drawing a diagram for you guys?

GARROSH:  Wow, you’ve REALLY got a yen for us to mug this kid, don’t you?

CHROMIE:  Hey, do you want your thingymabob back or not?

MOKVAR:  Actually, along those lines, I was thinking… Since you all have powers over time, would it be possible for you to give one of us…well, a buff, I suppose.  To prolong the duration of a spell like polymorph?

CHROMIE:  Huh… What do you think, skipper?

NOZDORMU:  It would be simple enough, though such an enhancement would have to have a very limited number of charges…

FARANELL:  You’re thinking you’d want me to hit Taelan with a super-polymorph?

MOKVAR:  Actually I was thinking more of my hex.  What I had in mind—

The door to the room swings open and Kelly the innkeeper barges in.

KELLY:  Hey, what’s going on up here?  I’m hearing all kinds of noise down in the… <looks down at Utvoch the sheep> …lobby…

GARROSH:  Oh, hey, um…

LIADRIN:  There’s…a very simple explanation for that.

FARANELL:  Yes, there is, although regrettably it reflects rather poorly on all of us…

UTVOCH:  <bleats>

KELLY:  What the blazes are you people doing with a sheep up here?  We don’t…  <glances over and notices Nozdormu and Soridormi>  …High elves?  Gracious, we haven’t seen high elves in Southshore in I don’t know how long.  I didn’t think you went slumming far beyond Dalaran…

SORIDORMI:  Yes, well…

GARROSH:  Um, yeah, I can explain them, too.

NOZDORMU:  You can?

SORIDORMI:  He can.

NOZDORMU:  I hope so.

KELLY:  I’m listening.

GARROSH:  Look… Mr. Kelly… I’m going to level with you.  Clearly you, um, you’re an observant guy, so you must be aware that there’s a lot of strange business going on around here these days.

KELLY:  Mostly since you lot turned up, yes.

GARROSH:  Right.  Well.  Um, yes, that’s why we’re here, you see.  My people and I are…um…special investigators sent by the king.  We have a…a number of leads concerning some suspicious activities leading us to Southshore, and me and my fellow royal investigators are here to…um…investigate.  Royally.

FARANELL:  <aside to Garrosh>  Smooth.

KELLY:  The king sent… Wait, which king?

GARROSH:  Which king?  Oh, well…  <aside to Liadrin> Who’s the king now?

LIADRIN:  <aside>  Of which kingdom?

GARROSH:  <aside, hissing>  Just GIVE ME A FUCKING NAME!

LIADRIN:  Terenas!

GARROSH:  Terenas!  Yes, yes, good old King Terenas!

KELLY:  Ahh, all right, so you’re sent from here in Lordaeron.  For a minute, as strange as you were acting, I thought you might have been sent from Stormwind or some such damn thing.

GARROSH:  Oh no, no, we’re definitely looking out for dear old Lordaeron.

KELLY:  A good thing, too, as I was going to have words for you if you said you’d been sent by that hot-headed damn brat of a king they have down there!

GARROSH:  Wait, brat…?  You mean Varian?

KELLY:  Yessir!  Fuck that Varian, if you ladies will pardon my language!

GARROSH:  Oh HELL yes!  I KNEW I liked you, Kelly!  I’ll be sure to give a fine report on you to good old Tyranus.

LIADRIN:  Terenas.

GARROSH:  Whoever the fuck he is!

KELLY:  Well hold on now.

GARROSH:  Hmm?

KELLY:  First of all, you say you’re royal investigators, and that sounds all well and good, but how do I know you’re telling the truth?

GARROSH:  I…have an honest face?

KELLY:  Lots of liars do!  If you’re really sent by the king, you surely must have sort of papers to prove you are who you say you are.

GARROSH:  Oh.  Right.  Where did I put those…um…

Nozdormu and Soridormi exchange a look, Soridormi nods, and Nozdormu sighs briefly.

NOZDORMU:  Did you forget…Inspector?  You asked me to hold your royal orders.

GARROSH:  I did?

NOZDORMU:  <glaring>  I don’t know, did you?

GARROSH:  OH RIGHT.  I did.  Yes.  You have the documents on you, then?

NOZDORMU:  <handing Garrosh some papers>  Here you are, Inspector.

GARROSH:  Uh, but these are blank—

SORIDORMI:  I’m sure, Inspector, if you let good Mr. Kelly here review the documents, he’ll find everything is in order…

GARROSH:  Right, right, sure…

Garrosh hands the papers to Kelly, who flips through them for a moment.

KELLY:  Well, you’re right…I would know Terenas’ seal anywhere… I suppose you are who you say…

GARROSH:  Hell yes!  Now if you’ll excuse us, Mr. Kelly—

KELLY:  <turning to face Nozdormu, Soridormi, and Chromie>  I’m still curious what business high elves have with this investigation of yours, though, Inspector.  And…a gnome?

CHROMIE:  Hiya!

GARROSH:  Ah.  Right, well, you see, Mr. Kelly, these are special undercover agents, on loan from Silvermoon and…someplace where there are gnomes.  Regrettably.  Anyway, these are my top operatives – The Legs, The Noz, and Mrs. Robbin’-Son.

CHROMIE:  I hate you.

GARROSH:  No you don’t.

KELLY:  Huh.  I see.  Well I suppose that explains that—

Behind Kelly’s back, Utvoch’s polymorph wears off and he poofs back into his human appearance.

UTVOCH:  The hell was—

Liadrin slaps a hand over Utvoch’s mouth, and she and Faranell pull him back to stand with them.

LIADRIN:  Ssshhh!!

KELLY:  —but you still haven’t accounted for having a damned sheep in your room!

LIADRIN:  What sheep?

FARANELL:  I don’t see a sheep.

UTVOCH:  Did you guys not see—OWW!!

KELLY:  <looking around>  It was right here when I first came in.

GARROSH:  Are you sure?

MOKVAR:  I don’t remember there being a sheep in here.

FARANELL:  I’m pretty sure I would have noticed if there were a sheep in my room.

GARROSH:  I wouldn’t be much of an inspector if I’d missed something like that.

LIADRIN:  Certainly not one of the king’s select agents.

GARROSH:  Yep yep.  Right hand man of King Terribad, that’s me.

LIADRIN:  Actually, it’s Tere—

GARROSH:  It’s what his friends call him.

LIADRIN:  Of course.

KELLY:  Hmm… Well… It must be gone now.  Though I haven’t a notion of where it could have gone.  I know there was something up here making noises!

LIADRIN:  Mr. Kelly, perhaps you should get some rest.  I’m concerned that you may be working too hard and starting to imagine things.

KELLY:  I’m not imagining things, missy.  I’m sure I heard a sheep up in this—

Kelly finds himself unable to finish his sentence, as his assertion is interrupted by his transformation into a sheep.

GARROSH:  Well I’ll be damned.  He’s right.

LIADRIN:  Faranell!

FARANELL:  Did you have a way in mind to get him to leave?  That didn’t also involve gallons of delightful irony?

GARROSH:  Okay, okay, Utvoch, you herd the innkeeper on downstairs real quick, and then we can get back to business.

UTVOCH:  Yes, sir.

NOZDORMU:  And, for my part, I believe the time has come for me to make my exit.  Before I’m forced to witness any more absurdity that I can never unwitness.

GARROSH:  Later, Noz.

SORIDORMI:  <aside>  I don’t know why it surprises you, of all people.

NOZDORMU:  <aside>  It’s not that it surprises me, it’s just… Ugh, that one in particular.

SORIDORMI:  <aside>  Well don’t blame me.  I didn’t have to find a nice Mag’har girl to get to coincidentally cross paths with Grom…

NOZDORMU:  <aside>  I know, I know, I thought it would calm him down a bit.

SORIDORMI:  <aside>  And how did that work out?

 

So anyway…as much as I’d like to invest some more time in beating some sense (or unconsciousness) into Utvoch, that’s going to have to wait for now.  Mokvar seems to have some kind of brainstorm for something we can do, and we’re starting to run short on time, so we’ve got to get things rolling.  More soon.

 

“Why do I have a sudden craving for dandelions?”

Knights of the Silver (withered) Hand

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 27, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

Extra followup from Mokvar after he’d gotten back from his dinner break.  Faranell’s brother apparently had just met Tirion and the rest last night – he was eating alone at the next table over, so Tirion invited him to come join him, Isilien, and Abbendis.  Probably so he could have one more person to yammer on to.  Anyway, Mokvar says Tirion and Isilien both seemed to take a liking to Faranell the Younger…erm…Younger and Other… Okay fuck it, hang on.

Okay.  Just checked with Fara— OUR Faranell.  So the brother’s name is Patrick.  Whereas HIS name is Edwin.  Yeah, I know, right?  I would be a last-name guy too.  Anyway, though, that should make this easier.

So as I was saying, Tirion and Isilien seemed to hit it off well with Patrick, especially Isilien.  Abbendis seemed a lot more standoffish, with Patrick AND with Mokvar, who ended up sitting with them for a few minutes while they were finishing eating.  Related side note – thank GOODNESS Utvoch mostly kept his distance at the bar.  A rare moment of sense.

Although…he didn’t waste too much time returning to character once he an Mokvar came back upstairs…

 

MOKVAR:  Hey, did you all know that that guy downstairs is Faranell’s brother?

GARROSH:  Yeah, it’s his younger brother, sort of a boy genius in alchemy.

LIADRIN:  He’s paying the Faranell of this time a call on his way to study in Silvermoon, where he’s fated to meet his end during the Scourge invasion.

MOKVAR:  So…I missed a meeting.

UTVOCH:  Holy crap, Faranell, did you know about this too?

MOKVAR:  Sorry, Faranell, about how long…wait.  <stares at Utvoch>

FARANELL:  …

GARROSH:  …

LIADRIN:  That’s…remarkable.

FARANELL:  Um, Utvoch…

UTVOCH:  Yeah?

FARANELL:  Let me make sure I’m following you correctly here.

UTVOCH:  Okay.

GARROSH:  Personally I think you’re just pulling the bandage off slowly now, but it’s your call…

FARANELL:  You’re asking me if I knew that the man downstairs, who is my brother, is my brother?

UTVOCH:  Um, yeah, I guess.

FARANELL:  <blinks>

GARROSH:  They weren’t frigging separated at birth, fuckwit.

LIADRIN:  Utvoch?

UTVOCH:  Yeah?

LIADRIN:  Go play with the child.

UTVOCH:  Oh, okay.  <thinks>  Wait, it’s pretty late, he’s probably asleep—

LIADRIN:  Go check for him.

UTVOCH:  Um, okay.  What if he’s not th—

LIADRIN:  Then check some more.

UTVOCH:  Yes ma’am.

Utvoch leaves.

FARANELL:  See, you’re starting to fit right in.

 

She’s actually really good at dealing with stupidity.  I might have to see if can lure her away from Silvermoon to come work with me more often.  Maybe offer her a promotion or something, although I don’t know how much she would groove on a job other than being head honcho of the paladins up there.  Pansy-ass fuckers though they are.  Eh.  Still might be worth a try.

So anyway, that was last night.

Today, Liadrin and I spent most of the afternoon camping out downstairs watching for the Silver Hand people to do their thing.  Finally as we were getting late into the afternoon, the full cast of characters turned up and gathered around one table near the fireplace.  Liadrin and I watched as closely as we could without being too obvious about it, but from where we were standing we couldn’t hear much that they were saying, other than a few words here and there.  Luckily we already knew from future-Tirion the basics of the meeting.

Mograine was pretty clearly running the show most of the way, and after a bit, while the rest of the group tried to huddle around to conceal what was going on (successfully? not so much), he did the big unveiling and brought out the dark crystal that Tirion had told us about.  I couldn’t see it clearly the whole time, but every time I was able to get a clear line on it, there was just something… uneasy about even looking at it.  Liadrin seemed even more disturbed by it than I was – or maybe just intrigued.  Either way, at that point she wasn’t making much of an effort to hide the fact that she was staring at the thing.

At one point, Mograin took off one of his gloves and showed the others his hand – it was withered and skeletal, exactly like the undead look, only in his case it was just his hand rather than his whole body.  Tirion mentioned Mograine being “scarred” by touching the crystal once, and I’ve seen plenty of disfiguring injuries, but this seemed much more creepy.

Eventually the bunch of them started pouring their holy spells in the crystal, and it started to glow and even hum a little, and then finally it transformed from dark to light, just like Tirion had described.  By this point, Liadrin was already in full perked-up mode, but I think her eyes lit up a little extra at that.  Mograine touched the crystal, it healed his withered hand with a soft yellow glow, and they all went round and round in whispers – so that’s how it started.  The Ashbringer wasn’t made yet, but the idea for it was invented, and in a way that was more important.  After they were done, Mograine sealed the crystal in its chest again, then seemed to have a pretty intense discussion about something with Isilien and Doan.

At that point the Faranell brothers wandered into the inn, passed by the Silver Hand bunch, and headed upstairs.  Having had a chance to get a closer look at them now, I’m not sure why I didn’t realize on my own that they were related – they’ve definitely got a major family resemblance going, especially around the nose, and, hell, they’ve even got matching cloaks going style-wise, blue for Patrick and gray for Edwin.

Anyway, they were only around for a minute, but I was distracted enough by them being there that I didn’t realize that Liadrin had gone over to the Silver Hand boys and was talking to Isilien, Tirion, and Doan now.  I was planning to do any talking we needed to do, but whatever.  There goes us getting anywhere through charm.  Still, it looked like she ended up winning them over by rolling out a few of those flashy paladin spells – Holy Light or Divine Shield, or Holy Hand of Divinity, or Holy Shock, or Holy Shield, or Shock of Divine Light, or Shield of Divinity, or Holy Hell I’m Shocked You’re Holy or the Holy fucking Hand Grenade or WHATEVER the hell those paladin spells are called.  Like seriously, take “holy,” “divine,” “light,” and any other two words you can think of, throw them in a hat, and pull out two, and that’s the name of some ability of theirs.  And you wonder why everyone gets so sick of them.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, Liadrin was talking to the Silver Hands.  Tirion excused himself and went upstairs, so I decided it was safe for me to go join the discussion.  Because honestly, I’ve been trapped in enough tedious conversations with Tirion in my own time, I don’t need to treat myself to any prequels.  Anyway, Liadrin and Isilien were hitting it off fairly well by this point, although Doan seemed sort of standoffish, and eventually he excused himself too and left Isilien to talk to us by himself.

The long and the short of it is this.  Liadrin was able to convince Isilien the she was a kindred spirit as a paladin, and got him to bring her into the know.  Isilien, for his part, is all on board with Mograine’s idea to use the light crystal to create the Ashbringer, but he’s also thinking that the crystal might be a source of power that they could draw on to help defend against the undead in other ways.  He’s persuaded Mograine to let him and Doan study it for a day or two – just like the Tirion from our time said – and see if there’s any potential there.

For our part, Lidrain’s convinced Isilien that she and some of her friends, myself included, might be interested in the endeavor.  He was wary about bringing too many more people into this, but considering he’s working with limited time, he figures he’s not in a position to turn away help.  He’s going to spend the day tomorrow working through some ideas with Doan, but then, tomorrow night, he’s invited us to stop by his room here at the inn to put our heads together.  So here we go.  Coming down to crunch time.  More soon.

 

 

[Header image provided by Rioriel from Postcards From Azeroth, reproduced here with permission and many thanks.  Click here to see the souped-up Postcard version!]

All roads lead to Southshore

Posted in General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on June 25, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

So Tirion’s sugar-high kid, Taelan, has been bouncing around non-stop since he got here with Tirion and the rest of his people, but I can’t help but get a kick out of how things are playing out with him.  Utvoch ran into him in this little lounge room they’ve got upstairs, and they got to talking a little, and now the two of them have been hanging out up there playing checkers and just generally hanging out and shit.  Which come to think of it, sort of kills two headaches with one stone.  I can kind of see why Utvoch would gravitate toward the kid – what with him being here with me, Liadrin, Faranell, and Mokvar, he probably misses having someone like Dontrag to hang with.  You know, around his own mental level.  A little kid might still be overshooting the mark a little, but it’s probably still a pretty major improvement to him.

So he’s been spending most of his time in the lounge, and that’s mostly been keeping the kid quiet(er) while Tirion’s off going about his own business.  All we really have to watch for is Utvoch not having any more run-ins with Kel’Thuzad, but I’m not so worried about that as long as he stays upstairs.  Kel’Thuzad’s still been bopping around town, but he and Helcular have mostly just been popping into the inn for meals and the occasional drink, and then going about their business.  Faranell tells me that Helcular used to live here in Southshore, so odds are KT is staying with him.

Speaking of Kel’Thuzad, and Helcular…and Tirion…and…well, okay, let’s just say speaking of everyone I mentioned in that last paragraph.  Last night, Then-Faranell met Kel’Thuzad and Helcular outside the inn and went wandering off for most of the night.  Meanwhile, the guy who had come to Southshore with Then-Faranell spent most of the evening hanging out in the common room downstairs, which somehow or other led to him joining Tirion and his group for dinner and generally acting like buddies.  All of this led to THIS little informational exchange with OUR Faranell while I was looking out the window to look for KT and company:

 

GARROSH:  Looks like Kel’Thuzad and the rest are still out by the main road.

FARANELL:  They’ll be out there a while.  We ended up walking around the outskirts for much of the night.  You don’t have to worry about us – well, them – turning up until you see them had out toward the river first.

GARROSH:  You’re sure?

FARANELL:  Yeah, I remember it.

GARROSH:  That’s nice and all, but I still have to check on these things.  It’s not like you don’t have a track record of forgetting things, like, oh, I don’t know, say, the fact that you WERE HERE IN SOUTHSHORE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

FARANELL:  <rubbing his face with one hand>  I’d forgotten a lot of things, yeah…

GARROSH:  Well, if we’ve got some time before they’re back in town…  Hey, Mokvar?

MOKVAR:  Yeah, chief?

GARROSH:  You’ve got a window to swing downstairs for some grub and a few drinks if you want.  Maybe grab Utvoch on your way, might as well feed him while we’re at it.

MOKVAR:  He still with the kid?

GARROSH:  Hell if I know.  Either there or his room, I guess.

MOKVAR:  You sure you don’t need for any more note-taking for now?

LIADRIN:  I can take over while you eat.

MOKVAR:  You sure?

FARANELL:  You’re a scribe?

LIADRIN:  I’ve been writing a history of the Sunwell for some months now.  There’s been a fair bit of research, interviews with people like Lor’themar Theron…

GARROSH:  Who?

LIADRIN:  …and so I ended up picking up shorthand pretty quickly to be able to keep notes on it all.  I’ve noticed Garrosh likes you to keep a record of everything – surprisingly sensible, all things considered – so I don’t really mind helping give you a breather here and there.

MOKVAR:  Yeah, thanks.  Have to admit, I’ve been starting to get writer’s cramp something fierce this trip.

LIADRIN:  It’s fine.  Go take a break.

MOKVAR:  Thanks.  I’ll see if I can find Utvoch on the way down.

GARROSH:  See if you can get a look at what Tirion and the rest are up to while you’re down there.

Mokvar leaves.

GARROSH:  Speaking of which… Faranell, who IS that guy who showed up with you?  Some friend of yours I’m guessing?

FARANELL:  I suppose you could say that.

GARROSH:  Well who then?  Anybody we should be worried about?  Please tell me he’s not another recruit for Kel’Thuzad.

FARANELL:  No, nothing like that…  He’s my brother.

GARROSH:  Seriously?  I didn’t know you had a brother.

FARANELL:  I don’t anymore.

GARROSH:  Oh… What happened?

FARANELL:  He died.

GARROSH:  Well, yeah.  Then again, so did you.

FARANELL:  In my case it didn’t take.

LIADRIN:  I’m sorry, Faranell.  Do you mind if I ask what happened?

FARANELL:  I suppose it doesn’t really matter at this point.  He studied alchemy like me – honestly, he was quite a bit better at it, certainly much more inventive.  Three years younger, but years ahead of me as a scientist.  He went to study under the high elves in Silvermoon.

LIADRIN:  Oh…  Oh no.

FARANELL:  You know the funny thing?  He always did so well in school that he ended up skipping a few grades and getting a head start on his advanced studies.  So if he hadn’t been so smart, he probably wouldn’t even have been in Silvermoon when the Scourge came.

LIADRIN:  I’m so sorry, Faranell.

FARANELL:  That’s why he’s here now.  He’s about to begin his studies, and he’s taking a few days to visit me before he goes.  He figured he wouldn’t see very much of me over the next couple of years.  Always nose to the grindstone with him.

GARROSH:  Do I even want to ask?

FARANELL:  I don’t know it at the time, obviously, but this weekend is the last time I ever saw him.

GARROSH:  Yeah, there it is… Sorry, man.  Look, if this is all hitting too close to home, I totally get it if you feel like you need to tuck away in your room till we’re done here.

FARANELL:  No, it’s okay.  I came here to a job, so let’s get it done.  Make the future safe for the undead.

 

This just in – Alexandros Mograine finally turned up today, with Doan and Fairbanks in tow.  They disappeared to their rooms right off – gotta say, to look at this inn from the outside, you wouldn’t think it had so much guest space up there – and while they’re probably going to be taking some time to settle in and rest from their trip and such, them being here means Liadrin and I are going to be on full-time watch downstairs.  Updates to follow.

Back to the future

Posted in General with tags , , , on June 23, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

Okay, so we’re finally back, more or less, and thank the spirits for that, because I was getting really sick of looking human, not to mention not even knowing what verb tenses to use, and plus this whole time travel thing causes way more headaches than it’s worth.  Mostly the human-looking thing, though.  Although, listen to…hang on.

 

Huh.

Okay, that’s weird.  A bunch of my posts aren’t on the blog.  They’re all the last bunch of them, so I guess…they just haven’t posted yet?  Crap, one MORE complication from the time-travel bullshit, I guess they came out a little further into…well, the future, I guess…than they were supposed to.  I suppose that makes sense.  The Noz did mention something about there being a time disruption, somewhere right around…you know what, never mind.  The rest of the posts should come up on their own soon enough and you’ll see for yourself.  Looks like we’re just coming up on the fun part.  You know, without there being any actual fun.

This might actually be a good thing, because while the rest of the updates load, that buys me time to deal with some followup on this end, because check out THIS head-scratcher we had waiting for us when we…um…never mind again.  Spoilers.

So yeah.  Let me shut up and go try to make some sense of…this…thing you don’t need to worry about.  And…you sit back and…um…wait to see what the hell I’m talking about, I guess.  Or not talking about.

Ugh.  I really hate the guy who says shit like that when I’m reading something.  Sorry.

A bad comedy waiting to happen

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 22, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

Pieces are starting to come together here.  Maybe a few too many for comfort.

Tirion Fordring – the younger, not-quite-so-old-and-gray version – arrived here late last night, with his buddies Isilien and Abbendis in tow.  We overheard Tirion talking with Kelly the innkeeper (lucky for us, young Tirion isn’t much more concise than old Tirion, so it wasn’t hard to keep up with his end of the conversation), and from what he was saying it sounds like Mograine and his people could be arriving any time today.  So we’re coming up on go time for the mission here.  And just when I thought things were lining up conveniently for us for once, what with us having just enough lead time to get ourselves positioned perfectly, of course the other shoe has to drop.

Let me explain.  The original plan was to have Liadrin and Faranell camp out in the inn common room to see what they can gather when the Silver Hand people are all assembled – those two made the most sense for the job, seeing as they’re sort of the experts, Faranell on all matters plaguey, Liadrin on the possible light crystal angle.  Meanwhile, I was keeping Mokvar and Utvoch out of sight in the rooms upstairs…what with Kel’Thuzad still being on the loose, and having seen those two, I wanted to keep them out of view as much as possible, just in case.  And I know what you’re thinking, shouldn’t I be just as concerned about Faranell being in plain sight in the common room?  Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s not ideal, but I wanted him down there as an expert witness and shit.  I was going to keep myself stationed outside, so if Kel’Thuzad turned up, I could high-tail it inside and give Faranell the signal to make himself scarce.

And yeah, how about that?  After all these years, promoted all the way up to fucking Warchief, and what job am I stuck doing out of necessity?  Fucking lookout.  The things I do for the sake of the mission…

Anyway, it wasn’t a perfect plan, I know, but it was the best option available.  That is, until Fuckyall, the pissy god of Not So Fast Garrosh, decided to throw us another plot twist, because guess who else picked tonight to turn up in Southshore?  Yeah, you guessed it, Faranell the Younger.  Or Faranell v1.0.  Whatever you want to call him.  He came sauntering into town this morning with some other dude I don’t recognize, which sent me right on into the inn – in every bit the happy mood you would imagine – to rush our Faranell on out of sight.  Ain’t that just a bitch?

So now, I’m going to be helping Liadrin watch over things in the common room, while…well…absolutely everybody else stays hidden away upstairs.  Oh, and for one extra little sprinkle of joy over all of this, Tirion also happened to bring along his little snot-nosed kid, who must have eaten EVERY LAST PIECE OF CANDY IN ANDORHAL on the way down, if his foot-stomping wall-bouncing little-kid-screeching sugar high is any indication.  The kid’s mostly been hanging around upstairs, so on top of being sequestered, the rest of the guys also get to be stuck right underneath the little walking noise machine.  Which…you know, come to think of it, that’s actually kind of funny.  Especially the part where Utvoch’s one of the ones stuck there.

Anyhow, with any luck things will start happening here quickly.  I’ll keep you all updated.

Durnholde Keep

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 20, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

After Mokvar and Faranell dropped their respective timeline bombs on us, we hashed out how best to juggle things to keep the risks to a minimum.  In the middle of things, Chromie popped in just to…I don’t know…go “gee willickers” a couple times and remind us that Mokvar and Faranell absolutely must not interfere with their former selves, like we didn’t already get that.  And then she blathered on about all the crap that could go wrong with the timestream if they do, and most of it pretty much just came off as “WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS BAD.”

So yeah, we’ve got to be careful about this, but the way around it seemed pretty obvious.  Mokvar couldn’t run into himself at Durnholde Keep, so okay, he just wouldn’t go.  He stayed back at the inn in Southshore and kept an eye out for Tirion’s people arriving while we went to Durnholde to take care of Thrall.  Meanwhile, Faranell can’t interfere with his old human self, so he came with the rest of us to Durnholde – get him away from Southshore for a little while, minimize the chance for a random run in, and plus this way he could be traveling with the bunch of us at all times so we can all be giving a sort of buffer zone in case Faranell v1.0 turns up.  Liadrin also had a pretty sharp idea, to have a sign/countersign for Faranell, just in case he’s ever separated from us or if anything happens where we need to make sure we’re dealing with the right Faranell.  The way things tend to go for us, it’s probably a good idea not to leave anything to chance.

Side note, I’m not sure if Faranell is worried about running into his younger self, or if seeing Kel’Thuzad and Helcular just threw him or something, but he’s been acting kind of strange since he and Mokvar got back.  A couple times now I’ve caught him just staring at himself in the mirror, touching his face, just seeming all kinds of distracted.  Not sure what to make of that.  Hopefully he’ll be able to keep his head in the game until we finish what we came for.

So anyway, I finally headed out with Faranell, Liadrin, and Utvoch, and we made our way over to Durnholde.  And I’ve got to say, I don’t know WHAT was going on with that defunct Alliance group that was supposed to handle this, that they thought they needed five people to handle this job.  The Noz might have been erring on the side of safety, or maybe those Alliance scrubs really do suck, but no joke, I can’t possibly exaggerate how easily we rolled over those Durnholde guards.  We had to clear out the lower barracks first, where some of the orcs were being held.  And then I guess one of the officers came running in, some dude named Drake, at least that’s what Liadrin tells me.  I wouldn’t have thought there was anything special about the guy myself, what with how he dropped like a rock after one good chop from Gorehowl.

Anyway…at that point we were set to head into the keep proper and get Thrall.  It took a few minutes to hack up the handful of guards on the way in, and then, lo and behold, there was our Warchief-to-be chilling in the basement cell.  And you know, I’ve got to say, you always figure the whole time travel business is pretty straightforward as far as the do’s and don’ts, but you don’t realize how hard it can be to bite your tongue until you’re standing there with a younger version of someone you know.  I had to keep stopping myself from saying things to him, not that half of what I would have to say would make any sense to him coming from my fake-ass human face.

Here’s the other thing, though.  I wasn’t expecting him to be so young.  I mean, I knew how old he was, it’s not hard to take now-Thrall and roll him back ten years in my head.  But even beyond the ten years…he was just so YOUNG.  You could see it.  Even locked in a jail cell, he just seemed so…unburdened.  His eyes looked so much less tired.  I never even realized how much Thrall seems like he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders now, until I saw what he used to be like.  Anyway.

One thing that was still the same, though – past or present, credit where it’s due, Thrall’s kind of a badass any way you cut it.  In fact, I think I liked past-Thrall a little more, just because he seemed a lot more unapologetic about it.  Like for instance, we broke him out of his cell, and he ran up to the keep’s armory to grab some armor and a weapon for himself.  And there was this armorer guy standing watch there, and he started screaming bloody murder when he saw Thrall roll in, and before you could say “open-hand bitch-slap,” well…see for yourselves.

THRALL KEEPS THE PIMP HAND STRONG.

“That’s enough from him” is right, Thrall.  Roll with it, man.  Hell, bottle some of that shit up and send it to yourself ten years from now, you could use it.  True story.

Anyway, the stupid humans sent a bunch more guards to try to stop us on the way out, and we made hilariously short work of them, and then I guess there was some captain that we polished off without me even realizing he was supposed to be someone important because OMG SPLAT.  At that point, Thrall had the bright idea that he wanted to use the captain guy’s horse to high-tail it out of there…even though the horse was barely moving faster than we were on foot.  I mean, seriously, were these the best mounts the humans had available back in the day?  Really?  And meanwhile Thrall was looking absolutely ridiculous sitting on top of this thing, PLUS if he was moving any slower he’d be going backwards, and for real, dude, have you just not learned ghost wolf form yet?  Because even that would have been faster than this reject horse.

Anyhow, you don’t need every last painful detail.  We got Thrall to Tarren Mill, and killed some more humans – always a plus – and then some of those Infinite Dragonflight guys showed up, and we handed them their asses easily enough.  And then out of nowhere this fog rolled in, and – you guessed it – The Noz came pimping in to check on things, and confirmed that the timeline has been secured against the Infinite Dragonflight’s interference, and that’s nice and all, dude, but how about you leave a memo for yourself not to be a frigging douche-tard down the road so we don’t have to waste time stopping your future chronies (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?) from screwing around with things?

Oh and also?  Just have to say – Thrall’s human friend Taretha?  SPITTING IMAGE of Jaina.  Seriously.  Crossbow to my head, I could not tell those two apart.  And you know what?  Draw your own conclusions about her.  I don’t even want to know.

We’re back at the Southshore inn now, and we just need to hold tight until Tirion and Alexandros Mograine and all those people show up.  I’ll keep you posted on what happens.  Or, you know, you can consult the nearest history book.

 

 

[Header image provided by Rioriel from Postcards From Azeroth, reproduced here with permission and many thanks.  Click here to see the souped-up Postcard version!]

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