Archive for May, 2012

Long live the king

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 31, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

So here’s a curveball I didn’t see coming.  After I talked with Rexxar, I flew to Bloodmaul Ravine to see what was going on with the ogres.  Sure enough, they all seemed a lot more relaxed than I would have figured.  There used to be a time when the Bladespire and Bloodmaul ogres were at each other’s throats, but now they’re acting like old friends – joking around, drinking together, the whole nine yards.  Thing is, though…if you take a few deep breaths around there, it’s not too hard to figure out why everybody’s so much more mellow.

Uh huh.

Let’s put it this way: felweed’s a hell of a drug.

And I know what you’re going to say – isn’t felweed used for potions, like isn’t it medicine?  Well seriously, dude…it’s ALL medicine, you know?

So it took some looking around, but I finally tracked down this new king of the ogres at the cave that used to be Gruul’s lair.  And you’ll never guess this one – the new king of the ogres?  A fucking TROLL.  Specifically, a troll witch doctor named T’chali.  Which was a hell of surprise to me, as I’m sure it is for you too if you’ve heard of this guy, because last I knew, fucker was supposed to be DEAD, buried alive by the Bloodmaul ogres down at the southern end of the canyon.  All he would say about that was “Reports of me deat’ be greatly exaggerated, mon,” whatever the hell that means, and I really don’t know why I’m even surprised anymore when people who are supposed to be dead turn up alive again, because apparently that’s just the thing to do these days.

Anyway, T’chali was just a bundle of laughs, by which I mean, dude couldn’t stop laughing his ass off over nothing in particular, but it wasn’t hard to figure out why, seeing as every five minutes he was offering me a hit from his hookah.  I’m not even exaggerating, every other thing out of his mouth was “hookah, mon” this and “hookah, mon” that.  Fucking stoner.

When he wasn’t busy cracking up over the fact that his feet moved when he walked, I was able to get the story out of him about how he ended up becoming king.  A ways back he’d gone on a whole big chain of quests for the ogres to help them break free of Gruul and his sons – this was before Gruul finally got his ass handed to him a few years ago.  Eventually after all he did to help them, the ogre mystics gave him the blessing to visit Ogri’la – I guess this is some kind of a big deal to these ogres – and proclaimed him king of the Bloodmaul and Bladespire alike.  Based on what I can see, it wasn’t long before he got some brews going and got the hookahs fired up, and I’m going to stick my neck way, WAY out and say that productivity in ogre-land probably took kind of a dive right around that point.

T’chali did mention one thing that didn’t really hit me until I’d left.  He had made a passing reference to getting some help in his adventures from a human named Baron Sablemane, who had an axe to grind with the gronn for killing countless relatives of his.  It didn’t hit me until later that the gronn in Blade’s Edge Mountains had been responsible for killing huge numbers of black dragons…and that there had been a high-ranking black dragon in Outland named Sabellian…which would fit right into how COMPLETELY uncreative most of these dragons are about their humanoid alter egos.  (I mean seriously, people WEREN’T supposed to figure out that Victor Nefarius was Nefarian?  Really?)  And it would also mean there’s a son of fucking Deathwing still running around loose in Outland.

I asked Rexxar about this when I got back to Thunderlord Stronghold, and check this out – not only does Rexxar know about this Baron Sablemane guy, and not only did he confirm T’chali’s description of him and his personality and his woe-be-to-Gruul-and-his-sons-for-slaughtering-my-kin obsession, all of which might as well have been capped off with giant glowing letters over his head that read <Hey Guess What Everyone I’m the Son of Deathwing>, but Rexxar actually considers this guy a FRIEND of his.

Apparently the thought never occurred to Rexxar that anything might be up with this guy.  Um…BLINDERS, anyone?  Seriously?  So I figure I’m not getting a lot of help from Rexxar in checking up on this.  So I’m going to pay T’chali another visit later tonight and see if I can get anything else useful out of him.

 

 

[Header image provided by Rioriel from Postcards From Azeroth, reproduced here with permission and many thanks.  Click here to see the souped-up Postcard version!]

Thunderlord Stronghold

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 30, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

While I’m here in Outland, I figured I would make a few stops and see what’s been going on out here since I left for Azeroth.  Today I flew up to Thunderlord Stronghold in Blade’s Edge Mountains today and paid a visit to Rexxar.  I knew Rexxar mostly by reputation before he moved out here years ago, and we ended up meeting briefly a couple times before I wound up making the move to Azeroth to take charge of the Northrend campaign.  He remembered me well enough, although it would be nice if I could maybe meet him at some point and have him refer to me some way other than “Oh yeah, Grom’s kid.”

I tried floating the idea of him coming back to Orgrimmar with me and taking a position as an advisor, but he wasn’t interested in leaving Blade’s Edge or getting himself tangled up in politics.  Can’t really blame him on that one.  I think he told Thrall the same once before, which I can respect, although it’s kind of a waste for as big a badass as him to just be hanging out here in the middle of nowhere.

Mostly, though, we ended up talking animals.  Pretty much as soon as I got there, Rexxar’s bear Misha took a liking to Mortimer, and the two of them spent most of the day chasing each other around playing.  Which got Rexxar and I talking about them, and if you know people who have pets – or are one yourself – you know what happens when you get two pet people together.  Worse than people with kids…not least of all because people who have kids don’t really give a shit about what the other people have to say about theirs.  They mostly just nod politely until it’s their turn to talk about their own little snot-nose.  Pet people, though, they just eat up each other’s stories, and they’ll yammer on all day if you let them.  Poor Gor’drek and Nekthar made themselves pretty scarce pretty fast.

Funny story, though – turns out, while Rexxar was still living in Kalimdor and wandering around in Feralas and Desolace, somehow or other he ran into that forest nymph Mylune.  Which is never a good thing when you’re traveling with a furry animal.  So…I’m sure you can fill in this part…she right off started getting all grabby and huggy with Misha.  But here’s where it gets great – Misha would have none of that shit, and after she went and ignored a “You might not want to do that” from Rexxar, the bear fucking MAULED her.  HAH!  So we had a good old time comparing fail-notes on that nutjob.

Also talked a little to Tor’chunk Twoclaws (yeah, that really is the dude’s name, and yeah, I feel for him too) (*chortle*), who tells me the ogre troubles they used to have up there have quieted down a lot the last couple years.  Seeing as we always had all kinds of headaches with the ogres down in Nagrand, I’m always kind of interested in how people in other areas have been getting on with the fat fuckers.  According to Tor’chunk (honestly, not trying to be mean, but I just can’t get past that name), the Bladespire ogres up there recognized a new king a ways back – something about someone gaining the blessing of Ogri’la, which the Bladespires talk about like some mysterious, mystical place even though it’s right there on the fucking maps.  Since then they seem to have calmed down a lot.  I’m kind of curious about this, to tell you the truth, so I might have to swing by and introduce myself to this new king guy, one leader to another.  Because I’m nothing if not a smooth diplomat.

 

 

[Header image provided by Rioriel from Postcards From Azeroth, reproduced here with permission and many thanks.  Click here to see the souped-up Postcard version!]

Ancestral Grounds

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 29, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

Writing from Garadar.  I’m going to stay in Outland another day or two, maybe pay a few visits to some familiar faces while I’m here.  Today I mostly needed some time to myself.

I went to the Ancestral Grounds this morning.  I flew around the western mountains for a while, and eventually, after some looking, I finally spotted a small cave with the remains of a makeshift hut just outside.  When I went inside, I found a few dusty boxes of supplies, some cooking gear, a few other little odds and ends…  To one side there was a fairly heavy chest that looked like it hadn’t been opened in years.  Until today, anyway.  Nothing shocking inside, just tidy folded stacks of clothes.  They smelled like old parchment and dreaming glories.

Against the back wall of the cave, laid out on a sturdy but uneven table, there was the body of an orc woman.  She was covered from head to foot in the ceremonial wrappings that are used in tauren custom.  I guess even Magatha has a line or two she wouldn’t cross when it comes to respecting the remains of the dead.

And laying beside the table, discarded and inactive, I found a tauren totem.  It had the same configuration, the same Grimtotem markings as the shadebind totem I’d found in Hyjal when I had my run-in with Krom’gar’s ghost.  I’ll be keeping it with me this time.  Not that there’s much left for anyone to do with it.

I carried Lakkara’s remains down to the Ancestral Grounds and buried her in a vacant spot, just across from where they’d buried Dranosh Saurfang.  I think she would have liked it there.  She always used to try to keep an eye on him.  She probably would have been a little sad to see him there with her already, but not surprised.  He was always showing up for things early.

After I’d finished, I sat near the grave and looked down from the hillside.  I stayed there a while, looking out toward Oshu’gun, and watched Banthar – herd mother for half a lifetime now – wander with her pack across the Spirit Fields.

Spazzle Speaks: Mailbag Request

Posted in Mailbag, Spazzle Speaks with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on May 28, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

ancestralgrounds3

Hey, what’s up?

Spazzle here again.  Just wanted to chime in and give everybody an update, and also make a request.  Garrosh has been getting back to normal again the last few days.  (Well, about as normal as things get for him.)  (I probably should have known better than to say that.  He does read this sometimes.)  But he’s still taking everything pretty hard.  I can’t really blame him; I can’t imagine what it must be like to find your long-lost mom again, then lose her, then… <sigh>  Anyway, he left last night to go back to Nagrand for a few days.  He’s staying in contact with us here in Orgrimmar, but some time out there will probably do him good.

I have a request for everybody for when he gets back again.  Garrosh has been so busy dealing with everything else lately that he really hasn’t had much of a chance to check on his mail.  I think maybe having some letters to respond to might help him get his mind off of everything else that’s been going on, and let him get back in a more comfortable space.  So if you guys could be sending him some mail, maybe a few random Warchief-ish questions like the old days, I think it might do him some good.

Or, maybe even better, you could take a different approach to helping him via the mail.  Maybe a show of solidarity.  If you happen to find yourself near Demon Fall Canyon in Ashenvale, or the Ancestral Grounds in Nagrand, maybe take a minute to stop and pay your respects?  To Grom, or Lakkara, or both…and Garrosh by extension.  If you include a picture of yourself there in your note to the Warchief, that could be nice for him to see, to know he’s not going it alone.  Maybe even toss the picture up on your own blog if you have one, since I know Garrosh reads around quite a bit, even if he usually stays a lurker.

If you ever need anything,

Spazzle

By way of apology

Posted in EPIC VERSE with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 27, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

books1

Taking a short break from packing a few things for Nagrand.  I was just talking to Eitrigg, and he was pointing out how I got all worked up thinking Varian and Jaina were behind what happened in Demon Fall Canyon, and suggested – fasten your seat belts for this one – that I might want to do something to acknowledge that they really didn’t have anything to do with it.  Like…apologize.  Which in general I’ve gotta say is a pretty WTF idea, but considering how testy I’ve been the last week or so, I guess it might not be a horrible idea to try to…I don’t know…be a little nice, I guess.

So I’m going to try this very unfamiliar gesture using a fairly familiar form – you guessed it, EPIC VERSE style.  Simple, straightforward form, courtesy of Chen Stormstout’s people.  Here goes…

 

Falsely accused, true:
Not your fault for a change — still,
Fuck you, Varian.

 

Yeah, I know it kind of took a left turn at the end.  I tried.  I mean we’re talking about fucking Varian here.

Remembrance of the dead

Posted in EPIC VERSE, General, Transcripts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 26, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

log

You have logged on.

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Well what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

[Guild][ProfHubert]  if we only had a silver piece for every time one of us has said that lol

[Guild][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Greetings, Warchief.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Evening, Sylvanas

[Guild][ProfHubert]  hello sir

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Who’s this guy?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | SylvanasMaster Apothecary Faranell, one of my aides here in the Undercity.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  He had asked about the guild while you were busy this week.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Hey Prof

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  We didn’t want to bother you with it while you were doing more important things, so we decided to go ahead and invite him.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Welcome to the guild

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Hopefully that’s all right with you, Warchief.

[Guild][ProfHubert]  thank you sir

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, that’s fine

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  You guys can go ahead and invite people if you’re pretty comfortable with them

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  You’re sure about who this guy is, right?

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Oh hey, Prof, based on your name, are you playing the teacher class too?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Yes, sir.  I see him in person on a daily basis.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Okay, good

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I want to start being more careful screening people coming into the guild

[Guild][ProfHubert]  no, actually this character is a zookeeper

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Of course, sir.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah?  You don’t see too many of those around

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Did you get my message about the plague?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Yes, sir, this morning.  I was actually just passing word on to Faranell to put a halt to any further experiments.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Fortunately we had only just recommenced our tests, as our attempts to work on a new plague had, of course, been shelved for quite some time.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, good

[Guild][ProfHubert]  i noticed that yes

[Guild][ProfHubert]  all the animals in the game are so mundane, i thought i might be able to find a way to enhance some of the breeds

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I was just too angry for my own good when I gave you the go-ahead for that

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  But then you probably already realize that

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Understandable, Warchief.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Can you do that?

[Guild][ProfHubert]  we’ll find out, won’t we

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Are you dealing with matters a bit better now?

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I’m not sure what would count as “better”

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  True.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I’m going to head back to Nagrand in a day or two to spend a little time

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Visit Greatmother, that kind of thing

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Probably wise, indeed.

[Guild][ProfHubert]  brb

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Of course in a perfect world I would intercept you-know-who on my way through the Dark Portal

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  If I might offer a word of advice, Warchief.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  What’s that?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | SylvanasYour anger at Magatha Grimtotem is certainly justified, but I would urge you not to let your desire for vengeance to preoccupy your thoughts too greatly.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I know only too well what it’s like to crave revenge against an enemy above all else.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I know all about you and Arthas, Sylvanas

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  With all due respect, Warchief, I truly doubt that you do.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  But you’re right, insofar as avenging myself on the Lich King occupied nearly my every thought for quite some time.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Worked out for you I’d say

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  You got to see him dead

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Yes.  And then I found myself with the minor dilemma of what else to think about.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  If I might make a suggestion, Warchief.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  This should be good

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  No one would dispute that Magatha’s actions were monstrous, or that her motives were vile.  You are right to be angry, and should fate present the opportunity, it is just that she should be called to account.  This much is beyond contention.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  In the interim, however, I would merely suggest attempting to focus less on what she took from you, and more on what she unwittingly gave.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  The fuck are you talking about, what she gave?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Warchief, I’m certain that I do not need to tell you I am no stranger to loss.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, yeah, we’ve all heard about the story about the Scourge in Quel’thalas a thousand times, Sylvanas

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  There is that, yes.  Countless numbers of my friends and family died that day.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I mean, not to make light, but yeah

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  But even before the Scourge invasion…

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  You may or may not recall my dear sister Alleria, Warchief.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  She was part of the Alliance Expedition into Draenor, following the Second War over twenty years ago.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  She disappeared there and has not been seen since.  Even in all the time since the Horde and Alliance have come to frequent Outland, there has been no sign of her.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  She has long since been presumed dead.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Yeah, right, I know

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Look, Sylvanas, I’m sorry about your sister, but I don’t see what that has to do with anything

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Let me put it this way, Warchief.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Do you know – do you have even the faintest idea – what I would give to have one more day with her?

[Guild][ProfHubert]  dark lady

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Ah…

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Magatha’s deception was odious, Garrosh, beyond question, but Lakkara’s return, though illusory in one important sense, was also very much real.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  From everything I gather, her spirit was not a hallucination, or a glamour, or a fabrication.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  It really was her, albeit a spirit and not flesh and blood.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  And for several days, you were able to be with your mother again.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  You were able to talk with her and hear her respond.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  You were able to see her face light up with pride as you showed her the man her boy had grown up to become.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  For all that’s despicable about Magatha’s doings and for all the rightful hatred you feel for her, Warchief, that much was a gift.

[Guild][ProfHubert]  sylvanas?

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I would simply urge you not to lose sight of that.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Hmm. Maybe, I guess…

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  One moment, Warchief.

[GilbertRose | Dontrag] has logged on.

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Hey Utvoch.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  no its dontrag sir

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  but hello sir

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Crap, mixed you up again, sorry

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  I even have that mod to try to keep you straight, too

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  dont worry about it sir, we get it all the time

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Don’t know what it is with you two

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  guess we just have one of those faces

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Um…I can’t actually see your faces here, Dontrag

[ProfHubert] has logged off.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Warchief, I’m afraid I need to go for a bit. We have something of a situation here.

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  huh thats true

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  What’s going on?

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  weird

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  I’ll update you once I’ve had a chance to check on it myself, Warchief.  Perhaps nothing.  We shall see.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  At any rate, have a good trip to Nagrand if I do not see you again before that.

[Officer][LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas]  Take care, Garrosh.

[LivinDeadGrl | Sylvanas] has logged off.

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Okay, thanks, Sylvanas

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  And I’m talking to no one

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  so whats up sir

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Literally

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Not a lot, Dontrag

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  La la la no one here but me, la la la stuck talking to a moron in /g

[Officer][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Oh what the hell

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  oh ok

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  There once was a dwarf from Mudsprocket

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Who helped goblins work on their rocket

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  He tried to match wits

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  With two orcs, heads o’ shits,

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  Until, throwing hands up, cried “O fock it!”

[Guild][Omgipwnedurface | Garrosh]  EPIC VERSE!

[Guild][GilbertRose | Dontrag]  i don’t get it

You have logged off.

Back to the drawing board

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , on May 25, 2012 by Garrosh Hellscream

theramore2

The attack on Theramore is on hold.

I’m still fuming over…hell, what am I NOT fuming over right now?  Yesterday when I finished my debriefing with Draz’Zilb over the Grimtotem messenger, I just stormed back in here to the war room and threw that model of Theramore the Gob Squad had made into the wall – bounced it right off the pin-covered strategic map we’d drawn up of Dustwallow – smashed it to a hundred pieces…

Any now I get to spend my time thinking about what I was about to do, if I hadn’t been stopped by absolutely NOTHING other than sheer dumb luck.

Let me be clear about something (you know, before I get another talking to from ACC): I don’t suddenly have qualms about attacking the humans, or hitting Theramore if it makes sense strategically.  But the last several days I got myself so wound up in a fury I was about to go rushing into a thrown-together attack, and more importantly, it wasn’t just the attack itself.  It was how I was going about it.  Specifically, Draz’Zilb’s corruption idea.  That wasn’t just a military strike – assuming the spell worked the way it’s supposed to, that would be wiping out EVERY LIVING THING from the point of deployment spreading and spreading until it had physically run out of things to kill.

I’ve got no problem with fighting a war.  But now that I’m seeing straight, I’ll be damned if I’m going to become a war criminal.  I’m not going to fight the humans by becoming them.

And in this case…after that baiting by Magatha…

That’s twice now she almost turned me into a monster.

So Theramore is going on the shelf.  For now.  At least until we’ve had a chance to work out an actual military plan that doesn’t involve necromantic weapons of genocide, and I’m not letting my temper make my decisions for me.  The Dustwallow map is staying where it is until then, as a reminder…

In the meantime, though, I still have a few things I need to do – starting with informing Draz’Zilb his little pet project is canceled – and some pieces I still need to pick up.

More soon.

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