Archive for September, 2011

Ask Garrosh

Posted in EPIC VERSE, General, Mailbag with tags , , , , , , , on September 30, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

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So I’m finally going to be getting around to my inspection trip out to Stonetalon Mountains early this week, and I’m probably going to be spending most of the weekend making arrangements.  Since you all know how much I love scheduling and logistics, I’m probably not going to be in the best mood, so I’m thinking I could use some distractions.  The Earth Online game will help here and there…oh, who am I kidding, I’ll probably lose a bunch of hours playing when I SHOULD be getting other stuff done…but I’m also thinking you, MY LOYAL CITIZENS, can be helpful that way.

So, here’s the deal.  I know my Monday mailbags have mostly been filled up with heavy hitters from around the Horde.  Well, other than Lor’themar.  But this time around, I think what we need is some more peons!  So!  I’m inviting you all – my DEVOTED AND AWE-STRUCK READERS AND MINIONS – to write in to ask your Warchief anything you want.  Here’s your chance to get your questions answered about the life of the leader you adore!  Or maybe get some rock-solid advice from your Warchief on whatever’s been on your mind!  AREN’T YOU LUCKY!

You can send your questions and messages to me at garrosh1337@gmail.com.  Come Monday I’ll try to answer as many of your questions as I can.

In the meantime, here’s a little something I haven’t treated you guys to in a while, using a new form I just learned:

 

Life without honor
A pink, puny, worthless foe
You suck, Varian.

 

EPIC VERSE!

Okay, calming down now…

Posted in General with tags , , , , on September 29, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

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So I think I might have gotten a little carried away last time about the internet thing.  It’s been pretty stressful what with the war with the Alliance and the war with Deathwing and the war with the Twilight’s Hammer and the war with Ragnaros and the search for more people to go to war with.  I keep getting these reports about spies and so I think I’m probably worrying about people pulling sneaky shit more than I need to.  I mean the Thrall thing was probably some stupid random prank and it’s not something I should really be worrying about and I’m sure most people on these blog things are who they say they are because it would be really fucking stupid for people to pretend they’re something they’re not on the internet.

Anyway I’m done freaking out now so I should be back to more normal, level-headed posts like you’re used to.

AN ATROCITY AGAINST YOUR WARCHIEF’S MAILBAG!!!

Posted in General, Mailbag with tags , , , , , , on September 27, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

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RAAARRRR I am so full of rage I could probably execute crit sextuple digits if I knew what sextuple meant and crit meant and digits meant, but I’m still really fucking angry!!!

Because APPARENTLY, the last letter I posted in Monday’s mailbag was NOT actually from Thall!!!  CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT!!!  See!  See!  THIS is why I don’t trust these blog things!  Can you believe people can just write stuff and say they’re somebody that they’re not?!  That is totally messed up!  OMG someone could even totally write stuff on this internet thing and say that they’re ME and they could totally get away with it!!!

ANGERRRRR!!!!!!!!

Monday mailbag

Posted in Mailbag with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 26, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

Running a little late today, I know, but here’s a few of this week’s letters…

 

Dearest Warchief,

I hope this missive finds you well.  Your delightful and inspiring blog was recently brought to my attention, and I felt compelled to write to express my deepest appreciation.  I can see now why Thrall so wisely saw fit to appoint you as his successor.  With such a keen intellect at the helm, I have little doubt that we shall prevail against our foes.

I am particularly touched by your recent comments on my defense of Silvermoon.  While I am saddened to see that you still harbor reservations about my loyalty and commitment, I can assure you that the good of the Horde is forefront in my thoughts, and further assure – nay, stress – that no further…shall we say…indiscretions are forthcoming.  I cannot, in fact, emphasize this point enough.  There is truly nothing for you to concern yourself with, and, as such, I can further assure you that there is no need for you to waste valuable time checking up on the goings-on in, say, Silverpine Forest or Gilneas.  With so many Horde outposts in need of your sage attention, it would pain me to know that we Forsaken were needlessly occupying your valuable time.  So, once again, no need to visit Silverpine.  Really.  Don’t you worry your dear, most interestingly proportioned head over it.

Also, loathe though I am to impose upon the Warchief’s attention, might I request, at your next opportunity, that you have a word or two with the most honorable Captain Bloodfist, of the Kor’kron detachment generously assigned to aid in the defense of my beloved Undercity?  Skillful military tactician though I’m sure he is, I cannot help but notice over these past several months that he persists in…looking at me.  In…ways that are starting to make me feel rather uncomfortable.

–Lady Sylvanas Windrunner, Undercity

Oh crap, I think I’m about to have more forms to fill out.

Although…I mean, seriously, do you ever look at the way you dress?

Anyway.  It’s nice to see Sylvanas coming around a little.  Like I said a couple weeks ago, I really did have my doubts about her, but it really seems like she’s pulling herself together these days.  Nice to know I don’t have to worry too much about her, it’s not like I don’t have enough on my mind already these days.

 

Hail to ye, Garrosh!

HAHAHA!  That’s it, laddy, put them DEHTA pantywaists in their place!  Ye know, they keep tellin’ all their recruits they’re me archenemy.  At least that’s what they say – I haven’t seen ’em dare come near me themselves!  But at least they talk a good game.  Ye notice, though, they keep tryin’ to recruit people to run errands for them, but they still only have six members, so good on ye, lads, fine job retainin’ yer recruits!

If any of ye DEHTA types are readin’ this, I’ll raise me stein and have a drink to yer health…and use it to wash down the goodly feast of assorted Northrend meats I went out and killed fresh today!  Ye know where to find me if ye ever grow a pair!

–Hemet Nesingwary, Sholazar Basin

I don’t really have a lot to say here.  This just made me happy!  Good to hear from you, Hemet, it’s been a while!  For anyone who doesn’t know, Hemet used to hang out in Nagrand, so I used to go hunting with him sometimes.  Hey Hemet, remember that time we were hunting Banthar, and that damn Durn the Hungerer came sneaking up behind us?  Like how does he DO that anyway?  How does a 50 foot tall giant gronn just SNEAK UP on you like that??

 

To Garrosh Hellscream, Warchief of the Horde:

Seriously?  Clefthoof stew?  And not only ENCOURAGING people to eat clefthoof stew, when there are many far healthier, less murder-requiring dietary options available, but GLORYING in your choice to make such food out of a CRUELLY BETRAYED friend and companion of your childhood?

You really are determined to evoke the wrath of D.E.H.T.A., aren’t you?

–Arch Druid Lathorius, D.E.H.T.A.

Oh no.  THE WRATH OF DEHTA!  WHAT-EVER WILL I DO.  Hey, news flash, Lather-on-us, the whole time I was up there in Northrend, there was only one person whose “wrath” I ever concerned myself with at all, and guess what, it wasn’t you, or any of your whiney druid friends.

I already wasted enough time on you guys last week, but looks like Hemet might have a few choice words for you.  YOU REMEMBER HIM, RIGHT?  THE ARCHENEMY you guys were going to PUT IN HIS PLACE, and you sure as hell did, provided by “in his place” you meant “at the dinner table, feasting on a spread of barbequed, stewed, and roasted shoveltusk, wooly rhino, mammoth, and worg.”  Yum!

 

Hey mon,

I know you be tinkin’ I be supportin’ you as my replacement as Warchief, but I really only gave ya da job to prove to you an’ everybody what a failure you’d be at it.  Ever since you came to Orgrimmar you been actin’ like you be knowin’ how to run tings better dan me, so I figured I be givin’ you enough rope to hang yourself.  Not to mention dis way when I come back everybody will be so happy to be rid of you dat dey’ll tink I’m even more of a hero.  Like seriously mon, you got no idea how much all de other leaders be missin’ me.  After you, all I’ll have to do is walk in a straight line without droolin’ on meself an’ it’ll be an improvement, mon. P.S. You smell.

Bob Trall, Echo Isles

WHAT!!! OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE THRALL WOULD SAY THAT WTF!!!!  And WTF is he doing in the Echo Isles I thought he was supposed to be in the Maelstrom or Mount Hyjal or wherever the fuck he is that’s not here!!!

AND I DO NOT SMELL WTF!!!

Earth Online

Posted in General with tags , , , , , on September 25, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

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This internet thing is actually kinda cool, now that I’m getting to do some more with it.  I had Spazzle over today to go over some updates for the blog, and while he was here he showed me this game he plays on this machine that might be fun to try.  It’s this huge game that you play with thousands of other people from all around Azeroth, like everybody on at the same time and interacting with you over the internet, where you have this computer character that you run around with and use to have adventures.  It takes place in this imaginary setting that’s supposed to be kind of an apocalyptic nightmare future where humans have taken over the world and replaced magic with, like, goblin gadgets run totally out of control.  So no wonder there why Spazzle likes it.  Anyway, it’s called Earth Online, and credit where it’s due, they really seemed to go all out coming up with this really elaborate history for the world, and little details about the culture, and all that kind of stuff, and I know it probably sounds pretty dorky but I have to admit it kind of sucks you in.

So Spazzle will probably have an update soon about the blog stuff, and I know I have mail to get to for this week, and I still need to find Eitrigg and get the damn trip to Stonetalon lined up.  But hell with it, I think I’ll go hop on the game for a little bit first.  Just an hour or two and then I can get back to the stuff I’m supposed to be doing.  Just have to decide whether I want to make my character a mechanic or a veterinarian.

WTF!!

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , on September 22, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

THRALL GOT MARRIED?!

So I KNEW something was going on with him and Aggralan.  I even tried warning him it wouldn’t be a good idea, seeing as I remembered her from Nagrand, and I mean she’s okay and everything, when she dies she’s going right to the honored dead, but holy crap the spirits are going to have their hands full with the yap yap YAP.  Preachiest bitch this side of Rhonin, let me tell you.  Not that he listened to me anyway.  But whatever.

But MARRIED?  The FUCK, dude?!  And I don’t get invited?!  FUCKING ANTLERS McBEARDYFACE GETS A FRONT-ROW SEAT, and I don’t even get a fucking wedding announcement?  Hell, not even Antlers – his high priestess chick too?!  TELL ME WHAT SOUNDS WRONG HERE: “Thrall is getting married today and a grand total of ONE racial leader will be in attendance…and that one is FUCKING ALLIANCE”!!

Oh, wait, hold up a second, you want to know how I even FOUND OUT about this?  WHEN ALL THE FUCKING WEDDING GIFTS STARTED POURING INTO GROMMASH HOLD BECAUSE YOUR DAMN FORWARDING ADDRESS EXPIRED!!  How’s THAT for a fucking kick in the nuts?  “Oh, look, someone sent me a Foreman Thazz’ril Mean Lean Goblin Barbeque Machine, that’s really cool, oh wait, it’s addressed to Thrall, ‘Congratulations on your union, may you and Aggra enjoy a lifetime of joy’, the FUCK?!”

Not to mention, dude, I don’t even get to throw you a fucking bachelor party?  Have you never BEEN to Silvermoon??

P.S.  Note to Jaina Proudmoore, on the off chance she can see this:  HAH!  Suffer!

 

 

[Header image provided by Rioriel from Postcards From Azeroth, reproduced here with permission and many thanks.  Click here to see the souped-up Postcard version!]

First journal

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , on September 21, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

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I mentioned my journal from back home in Nagrand a little while back.  I thought it might be fun to take a look at what I used to write, so I dug it out of my old things.  No small task, let me tell you, with all the junk I dragged over with me when I moved to Orgrimmar.  You do NOT want to see the mess that’s gotten shoved into the attic in Grommash Hold.

Anyway, here’s my very first entry:

Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a talbuk coming down along the road and this talbuk that was coming down along the road met a nicens little orc named baby tuck.

Huh.  I’ll be honest, I really don’t know what’s going on there.

How about we try something else…my first poetry!  That’s it!  Okay…so…here it is.  One of the very first poems I ever wrote, about the pet clefthoof I had as a kid!

Pudgy little clefthoof
Eating some grass
Pudgy little clefthoof
Fat furry ass

Pudgy little clefthoof
You’re so fun
Love to be petted
By everyone

Pudgy little clefthoof
Shaggy and brown
Pudgy little clefthoof
Follow me around

Pudgy little clefthoof
I love you
Taste so yummy
In a clefthoof stew

Okay…I didn’t remember the ending there.  Gotta say, though, if you ever have a chance to have some authentic clefthoof stew, that’s damn good eatin’.

Monday mailbag

Posted in Mailbag with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 19, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

So let’s see what the mail has for us this week…

 

Hey mon,

Not only is King Mrgl-Mrgl of the Winterfin murlocs a dangerous radical, but I be hearin’ he not even be a native-born Winterfin!  And he be rulin’ da Winterfin!  Join our movement to demand he be releasin’ his birth records!  Demand da trut’, mon!

–Bob, Echo Isles

OMG I KNEW SOMETHING DIDN’T ADD UP ABOUT THAT GUY!!!  I remember running into him when I was still stationed out in the Borean Tundra.  He was always dropping by asking if we had any soy burgers, whatever the hell that was.  I was like, dude, why can’t you just eat fish and stuff like the other murlocs, and he got all huffy and gave me attitude.  So I slapped him around a little and send him home.  Still, he was just weird, you know?  Like with most murlocs you’d be lucky to get anything out of them other than “burglemurgleflurglegurglecrap,” and this fucker’s blabbering on about “indigenous” and “ecosystems” and shit.  And fuck, if I have to listen to crap that I don’t know what it means, at least let it be crap that doesn’t make me feel fucking stupid on top of it all.

So, yeah, Bob, I think you might be on to something about the fucker.  Where do you figure murlocs keep records like that?  Probably some little island somewhere where they’re gonna fucking stonewall us on getting the forms released, just you watch. Fucking murloc spin operation.

 

To Warchief Hellscream:

As your loyal emissaries, to wit, etc., it is our honor to report our arrival as per your instructions in Stonetalon Mountains, Krom’gar Fortress et al.  Overlord Krom’gar is pleased to hear of word that notice has been sent of your commandership’s pending visit, we are sure Your Warchiefness will be impressed by the inconceivable might of the forces amassed heretofore as per your indulgency.  It is most hoped that Your Hellscreamingestness will pardon the crudeness of our missiving as we are but humble orcs, but Utvoch has been taking an extension course in diplomatic writing so we hope we’ve been able to shape our note into inconceivable due reverentness.

–Sgt. Dontrag and Scout Utvoch, Stonetalon Mountains

Okay, first of all, I don’t think that word means what you think it means, but whatever.  Second, I don’t know who’s teaching this class Utvoch is taking, but whoever it is I’m thinking you need to tone it way way way the fuck DOWN, okay?  Like seriously.  HEAD HURTS.  But anyway, I’m glad things are shaping up in Stonetalon.  I know the Overlord’s mostly focusing on the Alliance incursion in the area, but make sure we’re also keeping the Grimtotem problems under control down south.  The last thing I want to see is those fuckers getting a chance to come up for air.

Fucking geez, though, it took two of them to write that piece of shit?  I swear, I know I might not be the biggest genius ever to come out of Garadar or anything, but seriously the internet makes me feel like a fucking brainiac sometimes.  Oh wait, fuck, they’re going to see that, where’s that fucking erase button again?  SPAZZLE!

 

To Garrosh Hellscream, Warchief of the Horde:

We at D.E.H.T.A. have received reports indicating that you are indeed waging a most CRUEL and DESPICABLE war – a war waged against the poor, defenseless animals who SUFFER under your regime.  In particular, you have committed the following ATROCITIES against Wyverns and Hippogryphs, two NOBLE winged citizens of the air who surely deserve RESPECT and CARE from an earthbound creature (or dare I say, mud-bound creature) such as yourself:

1.  You enslave these lofty souls and force them to bear your burdens, ferrying troops and cargo for YOUR benefit, not theirs;

2.  These creatures – of an intellect far surpassing your own, I’d wager – are forced to endure long, TEDIOUS hours of flying the same routes over and over again without variation, or sufficient rest;

3.  You ENDANGER their lives by strapping explosives to their backs and sending them into battle where they could be INJURED or KILLED;

4.  When they grow weary and tire of these exertions you have them BEATEN within an inch of their lives, showing NO compassion or regard for the services they have rendered to you;

5.  You then have the AUDACITY to boast about the maltreatment you have inflicted upon those in your care by posting about it on your so-called “blog”;

6.  You make JOKES about “crippled” animals, without regard for how such jokes inflict emotional PAIN and SUFFERING on those differently-abled animals who read your insensitive comments.

Your crimes cannot be allowed to continue!

I have discovered the identity of the Wyvern that you had so callously beaten and sentenced to the Winterspring-Silithus flight path!  As you read this message, said Wyvern has been liberated!  Members of D.E.H.T.A. have secured the Wyvern – hereafter referred to by his NAME, because he has a NAME, which is MORTIMER – and are moving Mortimer to an UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, where Mortimer will be safe from you and your Horde thugs!

In addition, we also have the following DEMANDS:

1.  All Wyverns, Bats, Dragonhawks, etc that are currently serving as “taxis” for the Horde must be RELEASED IMMEDIATELY!

2.  Any creature currently in service in the Horde’s army or being used as a mount must be IMMEDIATELY DISCHARGED.

3.  If any animal wishes to re-enlist in the Horde’s army or apply for a job ferrying persons or goods it must be offered fair wages, sufficient periods of rest, and full medical/dental insurance, as outlined by the Animal Worker’s Union.  (The Animal Worker’s Union is a new initiative by D.E.H.T.A.  Details forthcoming, watch your mailbox!)

4.  All Horde children will be required to read D.E.H.T.A.’s new pamphlet, “Becoming a Druid: How I can have a fulfilling career while being self-sufficient and able to fly MYSELF around”.

Until you acquiesce to our demands, we will continue to picket your flight points and liberate your “taxis”!  (As there are currently six members of D.E.H.T.A. we anticipate that this will be a huge disruption of flight service!)

Best wishes,

Arch Druid Lathorius, D.E.H.T.A.

Oh crap, here we go.

Look, Lather-on-us, how many times do we have to go through this shit?  It’s the same song and dance every time.  You dig up some nit-picky complaint about something I’m doing with some animals, wah wah wah, bitch and moan, insert crying like a little girl here, blah blah, skip ahead to me not giving a fuck.  Then you start picketing, and then I have some of my mages cast blizzard on your asses, and then you go skittering away because you can’t stand the cold.  HEY I HAVE AN IDEA, maybe a fur coat would help with that?  OH FUCK I FORGOT, SNAP!

But hey, you obviously put a lot of time and effort into your “demands” there, even though, you know, you’re not in much of a position to demand anything, seeing as I have about 8000 soldiers on hand here who could beat the snot out of any one of you DEHTA asshats.  Hell, never mind the soldiers, I’ve got like fifty personal guards who could smack down any two of you.  You know what, fuck that, I’ve got half a dozen food tasters who could mop up the floor with the whole lot of you at once.  So yeah, not really shaking in my sabatons over the whole “demand” thing, so how about we call them polite requests.

So since you DID put a lot of time and effort (and WORDS, let’s not forget ALL THE FUCKING WORDS) into your requests, here, let me offer a counter-proposal:

1.  All wyverns will be released from flight point duty, ON THE CONDITION that DEHTA members make their flight-form-having asses available to carry my citizens around Horde territories as needed, because guess what, hippies, if you mean business about making life easier for the damn animals YOU CAN PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS ARE.  How’s that sound?  You and the rest of your crazy-ass druid friends just step on up and make sure our air-taxi needs are covered, and hey, you know what, as long as the six of you can stay on top of all the flight demand, those beloved wyverns of yours don’t have to so much as flap a wing.  Hey, you know, come to think of it, I’ll even release them into a bunch of wyvern play ranches, and set those up right along all the flight routes, so you pansies can look down and enjoy the sight off all those happy wyverns that you’re making possible.  Bet that’ll make those aching wings of yours a whole lot easier to bear, right?

2.  But we can’t leave out the kodos and worgs and raptors, now can we?  NO WAY.  And I’m sure you guys will be only too happy to provide a happier life for those animals too, and don’t you worry, I’m already on the motherfucker.  I’ve got my goblins working RIGHT THIS MINUTE on a whole fucking fleet of bear- and panther-friendly rickshaws.  They tell me they should have the first six ready to go within a couple days, so you don’t even have to fucking WAIT to make life easier for all those pack animals.  AREN’T YOU FUCKING LUCKY!

3.  The Horde will donate an enormous pile of cloth to DEHTA, to be used to make some more suitable gear for your members, since I know you guys can’t wear mail or plate armor like grown-ups, and from what I hear druids normally wear leather, BUT WE ALL KNOW YOU WOULD NEVER WALK AROUND DRAPED IN MURDER, and we can’t have a bunch of naked druids wandering around catching their fucking death of cold, so I guess cloth it is!  Armor specialization bonuses be damned!  And hey, don’t feel like you’re putting us out at all, quite frankly we’ve had these little up-and-coming wannabe adventurers dropping off mountains of the stuff in every capital city for years now, and after the first couple months nobody’s known what to do with the shit, only no one’s had the heart to tell the little noobs they’re beating a dead horse (FIGURE OF SPEECH, FIGURE OF SPEECH, KEEP YOUR PANTIES ON), and seriously you can only make so many fucking band-aids.

4.  To show my support of your fine organization and help finance your noble efforts, I will personally fund and arrange a fundraiser – the first annual DEHTA-benefit all-you-can-eat hippogryph barbeque.  You can hold me to this: EVERY LAST COPPER WILL GO STRAIGHT INTO THE COFFERS OF DEHTA – so eat up, bitches, the more tasty marinated hippogryph wings we choke down, the brighter the future of DEHTA.  TELL YOUR FRIENDS, THANK ME LATER!

5.  Horde children will receive your DEHTA pamphlet, ALONG WITH my own supplementary booklet, “Garrosh’s 12-Step Guide to Keeping the Fucking Sand Out of Your Vagina, Even if You Happen to be a Night Elf.”  AVAILABLE NOW ON RANDOM TABLETOPS AND BOOKSHELVES THROUGHOUT AZEROTH!

6.  All DEHTA members will receive a formal invitation from the Warchief of the Horde to SUCK IT and STFU.

Are we done?

Cake Ogar

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , on September 16, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

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Some of you might remember that last week, a TROUBLEMAKING TREE went and screwed up the whole damn Orgrimmar Cooking Award system by posting my Greatmother’s secret lemon square recipe online.  Since then I’ve been trying to think of a way to get the situation under control again, not to mention find something else to keep Marogg occupied now that his Cooking Awards are devalued, but now, you know what, fuck it, the cat’s out of the bag.  Time for Plan B.

Since I can’t stop Edenvale from handing out Greatmother’s recipe, I’m just going to have to come at this from the other direction and make it a pointless exercise.  So effective immediately – ALL HORDE CITIZENS WILL HAVE LEMON SQUARES AND TEA WITH THE WARCHIEF, OR YOU DIE!

You heard me!  How do you like THEM apples, Edenvale?  Or, um, lemon squares.

You!  Shaman!  LEMON SQUARES OR DEATH?

“Um, lemon squares, please.”

VERY WELL!  Give him lemon squares!  How about you, rogue?  LEMON SQUARES OR DEATH?

“Um…well…lemon squares for me too.”

VERY WELL!  Give him lemon squares too!  Hmm, someone get Marogg working on more of these lemon squares, we’re gonna run out at this rate.  You!  Mage!  LEMON SQUARES OR DEATH?

“Uh, you know I can just conjure my own—”

SOUNDS LIKE “DEATH” TO ME!

“Wait, no, I meant lemon squares!”

Didn’t sound like it to me!  I think you chose death!

“No!  Lemon squares!  I meant lemon squares!”

That’s more like it!  Okay then, how about you, paladin?  LEMON SQUARES OR DEATH?

“Lemon squares, please.”

Well we’re OUT of lemon squares!  I only had one platter of them and I didn’t expect such a rush!  So what do you want?

“So my choice is ‘or death’?”

Um…hmm.  Is the mage still around?

*bubbles*

Visiting Zoram’gar

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 14, 2011 by Garrosh Hellscream

So just to finish up with the Ashenvale inspection visits, since I didn’t get around to talking about the last part of the trip the last few days.

Oh and by the way, one last thing about Hellscream’s Watch, all things considered I’m pretty happy with how things are going, what with the blowing shit up and night elves on fire and all that, even if we were stuck with a few lazy-ass wyverns who BELIEVE YOU ME will be getting toughened right up (HOW’S THE VIEW OF AHN’QIRAJ FROM ABOVE, STUPID WYVERN?), but okay, really, how is it possible that one of the major obstacles out there is the fucking BEAR PEOPLE?  I was talking to Karang and he went on this whole thing about how our advance through the area was being blocked by…the Thistlefur?  Seriously?  We’re blowing the fuck out of the centuries-old settlement that the night elves are fortifying and gearing with state-of-the-art armaments…and we’re having to recruit people to go help us deal with the fucking THISTLEFUR?  Broyk pointed out how she couldn’t understand how the might of the Horde was being stopped by a bunch of fucking jumbo-sized Ewoks, and I would totally agree if I knew what the fuck an Ewok was.

Anyway, moving on.

Things seem to be coming along pretty well at Zoram’gar Outpost.  I’m a little concerned that the construction effort is stalling some – seems like some of the buildings there have been mid-construction for several months now, but I’m not going to complain too much yet, since come to think of it they’ve really been taking their sweet time finishing some of the ramparts here in Orgrimmar too.  Damn union work stoppages.  This is what happens when you let goblins get involved.  Anyway, it’s sure as hell still a major improvement over what we had there before.  Really, a Horde outpost made up of nothing but a couple huts and a campfire?  Seriously?  What are we, the fucking Orc Scouts?

Commander Grimfang (second cousin to Saurfang, by the way) seems to be running a pretty tight operation, so I’ll be looking forward to seeing how things shape up once construction is done.  Hopefully we can get the place up and running as another major port city so we don’t have to rely as much on the goblins over at Ratchet.

Made a short stop over at Silverwind Refuge on the way back to Orgrimmar to meet with Captain Tarkan.  Good man, will have to keep him in mind for future operations.  Also got to talking with a couple soldiers there, Sergeant Dontrag and Scout Utvoch, who both seemed very eager to start going to town on some Alliance.  Since it looks like we’ve got Astranaar pretty well under control, I sent them on ahead to Stonetalon to see if they can help the effort there a bit.  Told them to pass word on to Overlord Krom’gar to keep up the good work, and I’ll be by to check in on things when I can.

 

 

[Header image provided by Angelya from Revive and Rejuvenate, used here with permission and many thanks.]

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